RUTHLESS_EMPEROR 's book, the starting is good enough. But, I suggest you to use a more vivid description of the scenery as it will be a good hook for the readers.

I also suggest you to use grammarly  to check for grammatical and punctuation errors.

You can try to translate the hindi words to English if you would like to get more readers.

The flow of the story is pretty good but I think the use of Gujarati and then the translated English seems to be a distraction here. It's Just my thinking tho.

So my fellow authors,  readers and followers do try out this book!