The Secrets We Keep

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Author's Note: This song is so them in this moment. Such a beautiful song! ^^

Theme Song: "I Should Go" - Levi Kreis

I reached up and brushed my hair back out of my eyes. He seemed to have noticed how I froze and didn't say anything. "Ain't gotta' tell me if ya' don't wanna." He looked to my scar and then back to me and I offered a small smile in his direction. I looked to Daryl and took in the stubble on his face, "It's okay, I don't mind." And in that moment, I didn't mind telling him. I felt comfortable with Daryl and I knew he'd never judge me.

"When my mom died, my dad was in a bad way. Hell, he still was when I left to go travel with the girls after high school. He was an on and off again drunk for a long time. Henry didn't like that he was so far away when he went to medical school, but I told him I could manage dad." I paused now thinking about Henry and my heart tightened at the ache. I had been extremely close with my brother..it never got any easier knowing he was dead...or undead.

"One night he was in a bad way and I was trying to grab the bottle from him, but he yanked back and shoved me pretty hard. My head caught the corner of my piano. He never raised his hand to me, though. It was his silence that hurt me the most." I paused again, thinking of that piano and how much I missed it. Daryl gave me an indescribable look. He had no idea I had endured these things and it was evident in his gaze.

I shrugged half-heartedly, "He was never like that before my mom died. When I got older I realized every time he saw me he probably saw my mom and he couldn't bear it. My mom and I had the same green eyes. Instead of taking that as a positive, he took to the bottle."

Daryl was quiet for a long while, taking in my story. He was chewing on the inside of his cheek as if debating if he should say anything before murmuring, "My ma' died in a fire and my father was a drunk. Hell, sometimes I don't even think he realized I was 'round. I almost liked it that way though." My lips parted in shock at his admission and they got slightly wider as he continued.

"Merle, my brother, he wasn't always 'round to protect me from him neither."

Protect him? I felt my heart break as Daryl spoke and I realized he was sharing things with me that he hadn't before. He was a very closed off man and I had never pressured him before this to share anything about his past. If I asked questions and he was brief, I wouldn't push.

He suddenly told me about how he got lost in the woods and when he came back it was as if no one had even noticed. I saw the old wounds of his past return to the surface as he finished the story, despite his nonchalant composure.

It was no wonder he would flinch away from someone's touch or he'd look at me oddly when I paid him a compliment. He had no idea what it was like to be truly loved, cherished and appreciated. And because of all that, he was insecure as well. I felt sick at the thought of growing up like that. Even though I had a similar situation, it was nothing compared to the horror that Daryl had clearly endured.

He looked away from me as he spoke, as if he couldn't bear to look at me while he spoke of such dark things, "I ain't had it easy with my dad. Got the scars to prove it too." I looked to him sadly and I couldn't even imagine what kind of scars he had, "But, you were just a little boy.." I knew I spoke in a sad tone, but no boy should ever have to go through that.

I felt like everything clicked together in my brain and I now understood why he was the way he was. He grew up fast and basically alone.

He looked to me and quirked his brow, "Ya'? And you were jus' a lil girl." His voice was not unkind, but it was rough. He was probably digesting my own family troubles just as I had his own. I met his eyes now as he looked at me, seeing an exposed part of my past and vice versa. I knew what he meant though. My father had turned on me when I was young too. I was just a little girl, not like I could've changed the outcome of my mother's sickness.

I felt my eyes get a little misty, but I looked away as my heart swelled for this man who had gone through so much shit in life and then he's had more shit to deal with even after humanity goes to shit. He was resilient though and I knew all the bad stuff made him who he was today.

It was clear he was not used to losing people who had become like family. It was then I looked to back to Daryl and the thought of family brought a small smile to my face. I licked my chapped lips as I mentioned, "You and Rick seem pretty close, though." I ventured out on a limb here and he gave a shrug of his shoulders, "Done right by me so far."

I could hear the rough country twang in his voice and I offered, "Like family." His eyes looked up to mine now and there was recognition there. The word family seemed to have brought something out of him that I hadn't seen before, but he looked away quickly so I couldn't see it anymore.

These people were like family to him, but he was still too hard headed to say it aloud or admit it to himself. Throughout all the bad things that had happened to the group, they all still had each other. I still had them too. And with that thought, I knew being out here was a bit foolish, if not suicidal. For a brief moment, I felt entirely guilty that Daryl was out here searching for me, risking his life to find me.

There was another moment of silence between us as he hadn't offered up anything else. I felt the connection between us grow ever so slightly and I knew without a doubt he felt something akin to a connection to me. He trusted me and dared say he was getting more comfortable with me. Daryl had offered up things of his past that I could tell he kept hidden from a lot of people. Yet, here he was sharing past secrets with me even though I knew they were a sore spot for him.

"Daryl.." I started and stopped, tripping over my words and trying to grasp what I wanted to say to him. He looked to me now, his blue eyes guarded by the tone of my voice. He arched a brow at me as I cleared my throat, "I get why you build walls." My eyes briefly met his and he seemed a little startled, but stayed silent. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to be that way. At the very least not with me." I bravely dragged my eyes from my hands up to his and he was silent, gnawing on the inside of cheek.

Without spelling it out, I was letting him know that he could tell me anything. Anytime. Anywhere. He seemed to understand because he nodded curtly in his typical shy demeanor.

"Ready to get back?" He asked suddenly, while gazing at my ankle. I nodded and at the touch of his hand there was an electric current that seemed to have passed between us and he froze. Had he felt it too? Was that even possible? I pulled out of his hand quickly and cleared my throat, "Yeah, we should go. I can make it back."

He grabbed his bow as we headed towards the door, but Daryl stopped and turned around to me, "Oh, 'fore I forget." He mumbled and started to dig in his pockets. Daryl pulled out something silver that glinted and I knew immediately what it was. My face turned a slight color pink as I looked down at my feet and then back up at Daryl as he held out the elephant necklace to me.

"Forgot somethin' on your way out." He added for good measure. I felt my throat close up at the sight of the necklace and I felt like..well I felt like shit, really. There was a slight look of hurt on his face that I couldn't put my finger on, but it seemed he had been slightly upset at the fact that I left the necklace back at the prison. I took it from him before clasping it around my neck.

"Almost got blown up gettin' it for ya'. Your ass better wear it." I chuckled now, loving his sassy way with words, "Oh don't be so dramatic. I wouldn't have blown you up. I had it under control. Plus, despite being entirely dangerous, we had fun that day and you know it." He stared at me now, an un-readable gaze on his face and I smiled lightly up at him. I felt slightly self-conscious, so I looked to him with a curious gaze, "What?"

Daryl shook his head and averted his eyes towards the door, "Nuttin'. Let's get goin'."

We both had stepped out of our comfort zones today. I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that only the mentally weak were not willing to step out of their comfort zones. I guess Daryl and I were strong people.

I kept silent, but I could tell he had wanted to say something to me back there. We walked out together and started to head out past the porch. I turned to look back at the shack before something behind it caught my eye.

"Hold on, Daryl." I walked over and he followed quickly on my heels. I stopped abruptly at the sight and I realized that someone had been staying here at some point in time. What I had seen was a wooden cross, but that was not what stopped me so quickly.

On top of the cross was a very old and worn out baby blanket. It had pictures of Winnie the Pooh dancing around with a honey pot, but they were barely recognizable anymore. My breath caught in my throat and we stood there together as Daryl took a step forward to stand to next to me.

I didn't need to look at him to know we were both lost in our morose thoughts. The baby blanket brought an emotion out of me as I couldn't fathom the thought of someone having to bury their child, an infant or toddler no doubt. Thoughts of Lizzie, Carol's daughter Sophia, and even Beth swept across my mind as the symbol of death stared us right in the face.

In the stillness of the woods, I instinctively sought out his hand with my own and took it gently. He didn't pull away from my touch. Instead, he held my hand back silently. Together, we stood for a moment, his calloused hand holding mine so surely.

There was no electric current this time. It was instead replaced with something that ran much deeper than a spark between two people.

I didn't need someone to hold on to. It was more like a moment when two souls just happened to need a little comfort from one another. That wasn't a sign of weakness. It was being human.

"We really are on borrowed time." I murmured quietly as the thought of death loomed over me. After a few more seconds, Daryl tugged on my hand, "C'mon, let's go home."

His rough voice broke through my thoughts and I nodded lightly, allowing him to lead me away. It hadn't gone unnoticed that Daryl continued to hold my hand for a moment longer than he needed to as we started our journey back home. I wouldn't dare say anything though.

As we trudged on in the woods, the warmth of his hand soothed me and brought along a series of emotions that I didn't even know I could I feel for another human being.

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