Note: You get the chapter a day early cause I'm about to leave on a trip! Yay!

I hope it's not too dramatic, I wrote this a while back and it seemed quite dramatic to me, but now that I'm looking back at it and relating it to my own experiences as a Real Live Teenager, I don't think it's that bad. Maybe? I've never broken up with someone, or...whatever happened last chapter.

And please don't worry, I promise things won't be sad for very long. I can actually tell you that for certain because I've kinda planned the whole thing out, which I never do, but since I've had this for so long (literally for more than a year I've had the title and first few chapters in place) I think I have it more under control than usual. Maybe...

A knock at the door. Nya ran a hand through her hair, hoping she looked presentable. To say she hadn't slept well the night before was an understatement. She held her breath as she opened the door, and sighed with relief when she found it was only the mailman. Maybe he would have a note from one of her past clients, telling her how wonderful their life was with their soulmate, and how thankful they were to her. That was just what she needed to remind herself why this job, this legacy was important.

"Good afternoon." The mailman said, bowing slightly.

"Good afternoon." Nya said. "Thank you for coming all the way out here."

"Well, it's my job, you know." He said, laughing. "And besides, I've got something special for ya." He handed her a small bouquet. "G'day." Then he went back to his bicycle and pedaled away.

"Thank you." Nya called after him, her voice quivering. For she had realized who the bunch of flowers must be from. They were beautiful, sure–small and blue. Oh, dear. She knew these flowers. They were forget-me-nots.

To her horror, she felt the sob rise in her chest, and before she knew it she was running inside and quickly shutting the door as the tears ran down her face. Why, why, why had she become so emotional lately? She was lonely, and sad, but also she was furious. Furious that fate could be so cruel, that no one had prepared her for this, that she was so terribly in love, and that he had remembered about these most special flowers. The flowers that symbolized her remembrance of her parents, of Mei Tao, of her old, carefree life. And love. The one thing she could never truly have.

It was as if he was saying, Now you have another lost thing to remember. Well, she didn't think it was quite fair. It wasn't her fault. Well . . . not exactly. She couldn't do anything about it . . . unless . . .

It's impossible, she reminded herself, as she often did now. And besides, she had done it–she'd gotten rid of him. He probably hated her now, after all. And she shouldn't mind. She didn't need friends, or a boyfriend. She couldn't have a normal life. Her destiny was to help others find their soulmates. But she herself must live alone just like Mei Tao had for so many years, before she came along.

I must find the next mage, too, she thought. If I'm not here, she'll never learn to control the threads. Who knows what might happen.

Nya didn't like to think of the next mage, living all alone here once she was gone. And would she tell her this horrible secret of hers? That she, too, had a soulmate? That she wanted so badly to leave this life?

Before she'd met Jay, she had always been, well, not exactly happy, but content, at least. But now . . . it was as if she'd come out of a dream. Only now did she truly realize how unfair this all was. Sure, she had been lonely as a child, living here, even when Mei Tao was alive. But she'd always just been grateful that she had somewhere to go at all, after her parents disappeared.

Her parents. That was another thing–ever since she'd been home, and then she'd told Jay about them during the storm, she'd thought about them more. What would they tell her to do? And more importantly, were they still even alive?

She sank down against the door, and hot tears ran down her face, dotting the blue flowers with saltwater. She knew she should get up, pretend like nothing had happened, put them in a vase, and go on with her life. After all, forget-me-nots must've been difficult to find this early in the spring. But somehow, she couldn't bring herself to. The sun set, and still she didn't care. Then it was dark, and she couldn't see because she hadn't lit the lamps. She stumbled into one of the bedrooms–she didn't care which–and collapsed onto the bed, falling into a fitful sleep.

She woke early; for a moment she was scared, forgetting why she wasn't in her own bed, but then she remembered it all, and wished she hadn't. But no matter. She was done with being silly and crying all day. She was just going to go back to her normal, peaceful life, and nothing was going to stop her.

She went to her own room, poured ice cold water into her washbasin, and washed her face and hands. She was already dressed, but she straightened out her clothes as much as she could and combed her hair. She went out to the pump for water, lit a fire in the stove, and made rice. Today would be an ordinary, quiet day. Nothing could make it otherwise. She would not spend hours crying over flowers. She would sit and wait for clients, and be happy to do the job fate had chosen for her.

---

Jay wasn't sure why he'd done it. He shouldn't have, because of her parents, and all. But he'd seen the blue flowers growing in a spot of sun near his mother's garden, and he hadn't been able to resist. He'd always thought he would bring her flowers when it got warmer out–her house was so dark and dreary, with its ebony floors and furniture and paneling, its dark red walls, and the dark curtains over its bamboo-shuttered windows. Only the front room, where she met clients, was sunny and light.

Still, he shouldn't have done it. When he'd first seen the flowers, he'd known at once that they were forget-me-nots. And of course, it was obvious what they symbolized. But it was wrong of him to make this about himself. She hadn't exactly said it, but these were the flowers in the painting that she kept next to the one of her parents. They were the people who were really gone. She hadn't wanted them to disappear, but they had. He, on the other hand, had been a choice. She'd turned him away for a reason. And it was a fair one–everyone knew they couldn't be together. And if anyone found out they were soulmates–well, his parents were already disappointed in him, and that was only for going out during a storm.

No, he was almost grown up, and he should start to act it. He shouldn't have tried to make her reconsider, and he should forget about her now that it was over–whatever it had been. Maybe his parents would make him go back to her in a few years, or maybe they would forget. Better yet, maybe he would have moved away by then, and started his own business. He was going to be a wheelwright like his parents, probably. It wasn't like he could be an inventor, like he really wanted. That wasn't allowed here.

Well, if he was going to be responsible, now was the perfect time to start. His parents had been busy lately, since it was the beginning of Spring and people wanted the snow runners or old wheels taken off their carriages, and new wheels put on in preparation for Summer. And he could help them. He would put all of his energy into his work, and forget all about silly things like love.

"'Morning, Ma!" Jay said, possibly a little too loud, as he came into the kitchen. "Can I help you and Pa today?"

"I suppose, if you like. We'd be glad for the help." His mother said.

"I would like to. I need to get practice, so I can run my own business someday." He said, smiling and sitting down at the kitchen table for breakfast.

"Don't be ready to do that too fast." She cautioned as his father walked in.

"Do what?" Ed asked, sitting down across from Jay.

"Start his own business." Edna sat down as well. "But he can certainly help with ours. In fact, maybe he can go along on that delivery with ya tomorrow."

"Could I go?" Jay asked, sitting up straight. He had been to other towns on deliveries with his parents before, which had excited him greatly as a little kid. Of course, in the Serpent Kingdom every town was practically the same, always poor and stuck in the past. But he figured a change of pace would be good for him, considering the situation.

"It would be helpful," Ed agreed. "It'll be like old times. We'll get ready as soon as we're done eating, and leave tomorrow."

Jay felt genuinely excited as, a day later, he and his father loaded wheels of several different sizes into the back of the farm wagon, and hitched the horse to the front. Then they climbed up to the seat, waved goodbye to Edna, and were on their way. They traveled all day, except for a brief stop at noon for lunch, and finally arrived in a town slightly larger than theirs as the sun was setting.

They stopped the horse in front of the town's inn, and a stablehand led her away as Jay and Ed went into the inn.

"Jay!" Hearing his name, he looked quickly in the sound of the deep yet excited voice, his eyes finally landing on a young, dark haired boy dressed in black.

"Cole!" For a moment he hadn't recognized him, but now he crossed the room quickly. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm helping with a delivery." Jay said proudly. "I've finished school, you know, so I help more with the business now."

A lot more had happened recently than that, but he was trying not to think about it.

"What about you?" Jay asked instead. He had been thinking about his best friend a lot lately, wondering if maybe Cole still lived in his town he could forget about love in favor of friendship.

"I'm here on . . . official business." Cole looked uncharacteristically uncomfortable. "But I only have a few more hours on duty. Meet me at the tavern on Main street at eleven, and we can talk. I've missed you."

"Okay. I'll come if I can." Jay wasn't sure if he'd be allowed to go–his father still probably didn't trust him too much after his misadventure in the storm. But this was different, wasn't it? His parents knew Cole–they'd been friends since they were kids. And he was so cut off in their little town, he deserved to hear about the rest of the kingdom.

Cole was a year older than he was, and had graduated from school two years ago, when he was sixteen. Military recruiters had come to town soon after that, and after being offered a good sum of money, Cole went with them. Jay didn't blame him–well, he didn't now, anyway. It had taken him a while to accept the whole thing, but that wasn't one of his proudest moments. But he knew Cole wanted to help support his little family–his father was a performer on the stage, and his mother . . . Jay thought back. It had been five years since she'd passed, and he and Cole hadn't known each other for long then. But he knew she'd been a farmer, like most everyone else in the village–working the land, and growing food from the earth. He was glad that Cole had gotten a good job–whatever it was.

Jay ate a small dinner in the inn's restaurant with his father, and helped him bring their things up to their small room.

"So, Pa, Cole asked me to meet him at the tavern at eleven." He found the courage to say as they arranged their bags. "I know it's late, but we haven't seen each other in so long–"

"Don't ya worry, son. You can go right along. I know you two haven't seen each other in ages. Just don't tell yer mother I let ya."

"I won't, Pa. Thanks!" Jay hugged his father.

"Now, be quiet-like comin' back up. I don't want ya wakin' up the whole place."

"Don't worry! And I won't be back too late." Jay gathered up a few coins he'd brought along, put them in his pocket, and went on his way.

The tavern was dark and noisy, and Jay was a little scared as he slipped through the door. He had never been to one this late at night, after all, and for good reason, as he was only just seventeen.

"There you are." Cole said, appearing through the mob of unfamiliar men. "Come with me." Jay followed him towards the back, to a more secluded table in the corner.

"So, can you actually tell me what you're doing here now? Come on, we're still friends, aren't we?"

"Of course." Cole nodded, still looking slightly uncomfortable. "Best friends. Right?"

"Right. So, what're you doing here?" Jay couldn't help but repeat.

"Well, I'm a border guard for the queen now." Cole explained.

"Really? Wow!" Jay's eyes widened. "The Queen really trusts you that much?"

Cole shrugged. "Border guard in training, more like. There's three of us at my guard station, and someone always takes my shifts with me. They don't trust me yet."

"That's still cool." Jay said. Maybe he should've gone to the military, too. He could've made money, kept his friend, and, most importantly, never met Nya.

"It's mostly boring." Cole said. "It's not like anyone attacks, or tries to get out. There are a ton of rumors about the guards that make it seem like we're the scariest people, but we're not. We're just soldiers that happen to patrol near the wall, that's it. But we do get to wear cool armor. And these." He reached behind his head and pulled a black cloth mask and hood over his head. Only his eyes showed.

"Wow!" Jay couldn't believe how different his friend's life was now.

Cole took off the mask and hood. "What about you, though? Anything interesting happening? Met any girls?"

Jay felt his face grow hot, and hoped it was dark enough in the candlelit room that his friend didn't notice. "No," He said too quickly. "It's all the same girls, you know. All the same everyone. You're lucky to be able to travel." He laughed nervously.

Cole didn't press it. "I don't get to do that much. But . . . is it really all the same back home? You haven't . . . heard . . . you know."

"What?"

"The rumors." Cole whispered so quietly that Jay could hardly hear. "I guess you wouldn't hear about it outside of the military, but they say some of the border guards have been defecting. Escaping, through some secret passage in the wall. I don't know much about it, but they say that's why so many new people are becoming border guards."

"Really?" Jay wasn't sure what to do with this news. He felt conflicted–on one hand, he was supposed to be allegiant to the queen, of course, but the world outside did fascinate him. It was a world, he knew, where technology was widely accepted. And, almost more importantly, a world where no one cared about soulmates.

For a moment, all he could hear were Nya's words in his head. "My predecessors would scorn me. So would everyone in town." But no. No, no, no. Don't think about that. Just don't.

"What . . . do you think about that?" He asked hesitantly, looking up at Cole, trying to read his friend's serious eyes.

He shook his head. "I don't know. I've heard stories of the Northern Empire–they have horseless carriages like we always talked about, Jay! And they have good doctors. Better medicine than we have here." He grew silent, but Jay knew why that was important to him. Cole's mother had died of a terrible illness, after all.

"Would you ever go?" Jay asked, in barely a whisper.

"Shh." Cole glanced around, making sure no one was listening. But everyone was either drunk, engaged in loud conversations, or too far away to hear. "I don't know. It seems so much better there. But it'd be selfish. I don't want to leave my father, or you, or everyone else, just for myself." He glanced around again. "Would you?"

"I don't know." And he didn't. The idea of the technology and inventions in the Northern Empire was exciting, but he wouldn't just go because of that. And he didn't like the idea of leaving his parents, either. But then there was Nya . . . if she would go with him, maybe it'd be worth it. But she'd made it clear to him that her duties were the most important thing to her. She had to find the next thread-mage, and all that.

But maybe that had just been an excuse. She probably didn't know about any of these rumors. She didn't know it might be actually possible.

Maybe she would go with him, Jay thought–well, hoped. Maybe, if she knew they might really pull it off. And if there was any chance, he had to try.