So the story of my life is, I'm so busy otherwise that I find time between my exams to update. *note the sarcasm*

LOL. Anyway, alhamdulilah the first chapter is out and can we make a deal? You guys leave behind a lot of comments on all chaps starting from now and I'll give you free virtual hugs :P

Happy reading ;)

And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty.

[Qur'an]

Chapter 1:

Walking Towards Heartbreak

A mystery.

That's what you are to me.

I keep telling myself to steer clear of your thoughts, but you have a way of ruling them.

I think of our future together and alhamdulilah, it makes me so incredibly happy.

And every time I pray for a future husband, you come to my mind. Why, how, when and where - I don't have answers to such specificities.

And so, in my torn state, I just have this prayer to ask, 'O Allah, make the two of us better for each other in this life and in the hereafter, increase us in faith, unite us in marriage and grant us children who will be the coolness of our eyes.'

But every time uncertainty nags me down, I put my trust in Allah, and practice Sabrun Jameel.

When the fear of a future without you haunts me, I ask Allah to never attach my heart to that which is not meant to be mine.

And despite that, I end up praying for you.

Only you.

As Anabya stared at the words, her feelings rather, that she had typed in her laptop, a heavy sigh escaped her lips. She didn't know what was better - to cling on to the last spark of hope or just prepare for the darkness.

"Forty days, Anabya. You've survived the past five months, you can do this," she mumbled to herself while she shut down the system.

"Well Anabya, what's resulted in this pep talk that you're giving yourself?"

Quickly schooling her sulking features, she gave Hafsa a small smile.

"I'm probably regretting signing the internship contract."

"That's a lie!" Hafsa protested. "You excel at everything you do at work, so I don't get the connection."

"Just because you're good at something doesn't mean you have to be interested in it."

Hafsa raised her eyebrows, trying to analyze the statement and finally nodded after a few seconds, when she had deciphered the meaning. "You aren't going to continue after this contract terminates?"

"This is like the hundredth time you've asked me this," Anbaya reminded, while the offender grinned, knowing all too well that her friend was right. "While I do love working in this agency, I think it's time for me to take a break and explore new avenues."

Hafsa sighed listening to that, and replied, "I still don't get it. I remember the first time I met you a year back, you were so excited."

"One year is a lot for people to change. As for ideas, they change every day."

Having said that, Anabya began to review the report she was asked to submit, amidst which she smiled at Hafsa when the girl said, "You have a few months here so let's not talk about quitting. Hey!" She suddenly exclaimed, her eyes lighting up, "Are you attending tonight's party?"

"We have a party tonight?" Anabya asked, mildly surprised.

"Well, yes! Remember Sophie invited us to her place for dinner the other day?"

"Oh! I had forgotten about that," Anabya replied, certain that the little piece of information that had slipped her mind wasn't important anyway.

"Probably a waste of a question, but I'll still ask. Are you coming?"

"You know the answer," Anabya prompted with a knowing smile and Hafsa grumbled.

"Why don't you like parties? Why don't you like going out? Why? Why?"

"Life of an introvert, you won't understand. Staying at home, by myself, in my pajamas makes me the happiest. I probably suffer from the 'I don't like people' syndrome at times."

"You don't like me?"

"You're my closest friend, so you don't come in the category of people."

"That doesn't even make sense," Hafsa objected as if it were a crime to talk in paradoxes while Anabya casually shrugged, a playful grin curving her lips.

As Hafsa's green eyes crinkled at her behavior and her sparkling smile complemented her flawless skin, Anabya took a moment to admire her friend. Hafsa was one of the most gorgeous girls she had met. She was slim and tall, had the most beautiful features and it wasn't just Anabya who felt this way, she had literally seen people turn their heads when Hafsa walked by.

But she was so much more than a pretty face, for what topped it all, was her intelligence, wit, and sense of humor. She was always cracking jokes, coming up with the wackiest ideas, had an aura of confidence and a heart of gold.

She was a complete package and this was probably why Fadil fell for her.

At the thought, Anabya quickly dodged the pessimism from invading her mind and went back to scrolling through the new list of companies they had to work with.

Listening to Hafsa's plan for the project that they were working on while chewing on a candy, Anabya was interrupted when she lifted her head and her gaze fell on the boss' son.

Who, in other words, was the most eligible bachelor in their office.

That guy who had gone from a careless freak to a responsible young man.

He was also the one who had unintentionally made our little Anabya fall for him while being unaware of her feelings.

Fadil.

And he was probably the reason why Anabya was going to quit the job once the contract was over.

The thought of leaving work forever took her back to the reason why she had chosen to offer her services here in the first place, and a nostalgic smile graced her lips at the memory. While in college, one of Anabya's majors was Psychology, the only subject that required its students to do a mandatory internship in the summer break of their final year. Anabya had thus chosen to intern here, at Big Brains, a company that had tie-ups with the corporate world and looked after their wellbeing. They had ten segments, including physical health where gym facilities and exercise tips were offered, nutrition segment was the place where they'd provide tasty, healthy food to the employees who availed that option and then there was the emotional wellness segment which Anabya worked with. Her job here was to plan stress relieving, relaxing, energizing mental and emotional activities for the corporate every once a week.

While the job in itself was quite rewarding, its intensity depended on the number of companies they had to work with.

When she had first chosen to intern here, she still had one year of college left. Although she lacked experience, Big Brains had accepted her into the company because they had struck a clear deal, which stated while she could work with them as an intern for the stipulated two month period, after finishing her degree, she'd have to return and work with them as an employee for six months. Anabya had willingly signed the bond for the pay was decent considering she was just a fresher, and the work environment was also good. All in all, it seemed like a promising job which Anabya thought she'd continue even after the termination of the contract.

However, a month into her internship, and she had lost more than she thought would gain. One year later, upon obtaining her degree, when she had no choice but to start the job as per the contract, it had to be one of the worst days of her life that required humongous will power to even get out of bed.

And the reason for all this stood in front of her. He didn't know, but he was in every prayer that she uttered.

When she had first stepped foot inside these premises, Fadil wasn't a guy that caught her attention. She maintained a professional distance from all men in general, and the few times she had to interact with them, it was done strictly pertaining to the limits of her religion.

However, she regretted the day she had deceived her soul into relaxing those boundaries for him. Fadil was a nice guy, she'd give him that, but he came from a family that didn't really practice the religion seriously. Keeping this in mind, she had easily given in when he approached her to help him discover Islam a little more. The Satan had made it look fair-seeming to her. He made her think that altering her rules for this one guy, for such a great deed was definitely alright. She was 'helping' a 'brother' in Islam after all; she was being the source through which one soul turned towards his Lord, what was the harm in it, right?

But she had been wrong all along, and to this day she wished she had introduced Fadil to her brother or any other men from the Masjid, instead of being so closely involved with him in his journey.

Why do you ask? Because in the process of being constantly in touch with him, clearing his doubts on major concepts of the religion, and encouraging him to pray his five obligatory prayers, Anabya was met with a startling realization. Under the deception of doing Jannah worthy deeds, the Satan had won for Anabya had lost her heart to this charming, young guy.

And she had learned her lesson the hard way. If you didn't want to go through the pain of coming out of it, you probably shouldn't get into it in the first place!

And, what was worse? A year back, after Fadil had turned into a practicing young Muslim, he had confessed to Anabya that he liked Hafsa. The plot twist of Anabya's life came when she was least expecting it, which brought with it heartbreak and many tears. Listening to those words, it had felt like a gigantic mountain was broken down on her but the only hope Anabya still had was that Fadil still hadn't proposed and maybe they had a chance together.

Anabya had spent sleepless nights imagining their future and desperately prayed for things to fall in place. Maybe it was just a phase back then, and Fadil had changed his mind now, she always thought. Hafsa did not show signs that she liked him and so, it was only fair for Anabya to expect him to reciprocate her feelings.

So they could live happily ever after. Isn't that how teenage fantasies concluded?

Maybe she was being a little too optimistic even when the uncertainty of the situation hinted that her plans were bound to fail. And really, sometimes hope was the poison that made the perfect recipe for a total heartbreak.

Anabya knew it all too well but right now, to her ignorance was bliss.

"Which bank are you planning on stealing?"

Anabya blinked as Hafsa snapped her fingers, bringing her back into reality.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I spaced out a bit."

Hafsa narrowed her eyes and scrutinized her friend's expression. Proceeding to toss a lock of hair behind her shoulder, she wondered, "You seem lost. Whom are you thinking of? Him?"

"And who's that him?" Anabya questioned nonchalantly.

"The him that you're going to elaborate on."

"Hmm," she hummed, opening the desk drawer and looking for her phone charger, trying her best to not stare at the man who was speaking to the manager. "The only him I have is Sulaiman."

"Sulaiman," Hafsa sighed in contentment. "He's a cutie."

"Sorry to interrupt, but who's Sulaiman?"

Both girls snapped their head up and gazed at Fadil, who now stood on the other side of their desk sporting an amused grin.

Anabya looked on as his gaze lingered over Hafsa, and she didn't know if her mind was making this up, but his smile grew bigger, his posture relaxed and his eyes softened seeing her.

And I'll end up in Jahannum for gawking at him, she thought to herself as she looked away.

"Sulaiman is Bee's nephew."

Upon listening to the statement, his gaze traveled to Anabya and he said, "Oh! Assalamu alaikum, Anabya, I'm sorry I didn't see you there."

I'm used to you ignoring me, she replied in her mind.

"Wa alaikum as salaam, that's alright," she said instead.

"Oh, so Sulaiman is the cute little guy in your WhatsApp DP?"

It was probably wrong, but Anabya had no control when her heart fluttered at the fact that he had paid attention to it. It had to be silly, but she couldn't help it.

"Yes, he's the one."

"I'd love to meet him someday, in sha Allah. Anyways, can I see the progress on yesterday's project? The company had called earlier today, they wanted to know the schedule."

"I've mailed it to you," Anabya nodded, signing out of her mail.

"Oh, that's great! I'll go through the document. And Hafsa, I received your mail and shared your suggestions with dad as well. You'd be glad to know, he found them very interesting."

Hafsa smiled at the compliment and replied, "Alhumdulilah, that's great."

"He wants to meet you when he's here," he added. "I must get going now, see you later."

As he walked past them, Hafsa commented, "He's changed so much, don't you think? Remember the time he was the notorious guy in office?"

"Yeah, I remember."

How can I not?

"The credit for it actually goes to you. You seem to have inspired him while you interned here."

...And broke my heart in the process.

"I didn't do anything," she shrugged modestly. "Brother Shaan helped him figure out his life."

"But you were the one who initiated the process. Although the office is run by Muslims, in my two years here, I didn't see much of an Islamic environment. And then after you joined and started offering Salah and being the first hijabi, you brought in a change with you. Remember the times you used to help Fadil with his Islamic doubts before you thought it wasn't right for a guy and girl to converse so frequently and passed him Brother Shaan's number? You actually changed him a lot."

"When you want to change, you find your way. The people around can influence you to some extent, but you need to have the self-motivation."

"Anabya, the forever humble one," she noted. "You aren't going to take any credit, are you?"

"Never," she grinned as the two friends resumed work.

"How's Neil Peter?" Anabya teased a little while later and Hafsa groaned.

"Keep quiet, Bee," she shooed.

"What? I'm serious! You don't have any new messages?"

"There are seven new messages!"

Anabya's eyes widened in amusement and she said, "Show me, I wouldn't mind some laughter therapy right now."

Hafsa passed her phone from the desk, opening her Facebook chat while Anabya excitedly scrolled through the messages from her friend's stalker.

Sent ten hours ago.

Neil Peter: Hi, sistur Hafasa.

Neil Peter: U comes my dream yesterday nyt.

Neil Peter: U luking angel lyk.

Neil Peter: I waiting you are reply.

Neil Peter: I looking to marry. I looking at you also. Both looks adding up and I seeing are lyf. Please say yes, doreling.

Neil Peter: You marshmallow r very bootiful.

Hafsa Ayyub: It's ma sha Allah. Not marshmallow.

THIS USER IS NOW BLOCKED.

"Guys really think they can get girls by sending them creepy messages?" Anabya asked, scrunching her nose.

"Yes doreling, I believe they do," Hafsa sighed, her eyes glinting in amusement at Neil Peter's reference.

"Oh sistur! That's so sad," Anabya played along, "You are so ma sha Allah, so here have a marshmallow," she said, tossing a halal marshmallow to her friend while Hafsa laughed at the hilarity of the entire situation.

***

"Surprise!"

Anabya looked at Tammara when her elder sister answered the door and she entered inside, mumbling her salaam.

"What? Aren't you happy seeing me?"

"I honestly think you spend more time here than at your husband's place. Don't you have a life of your own?" Anabya joked and Tammara feigned disbelief.

"I'm in a good mood so I'm going to let that pass," she later added. "For your information, my visit this time has an essential purpose." She smiled, her cheeks tingeing red while Anabya gazed at her skeptically.

She was about to question the reason for this behavior, but just then the doorbell rang. Tammara went ahead to answer it, and baby Sulaiman ran to his Aunt, wearing nothing but a tee shirt and diapers with trails of chocolate smeared on his chin and cheek.

"You came!" He squealed as Anabya took him in her arms and smothered his face with kisses.

"My baby, I missed you!"

"Swowy!" He exclaimed instead and rushed to get the lazy cat with him. Anabya laughed seeing the cat wearing one of Sulaiman's diapers messily around her head.

"Same! Same!" He gushed, pointing out to the cat and himself. "Suwayman and swowy same same!"

"Look at you two, exactly the same!" She replied, tickling his sides while he laughed and wriggled free from her grasp.

"Phop is hungry, what's for lunch?" She questioned Sulaiman and he ran to the kitchen, dragging a bag of raw potatoes with him.

"Aaaloooo!" He sang just as Tammara entered the drawing room with Raiyyan.

"Assalamu alaikum," Raiyyan greeted, smiling politely, as he took hold of Tammara's hand, the smile on her face growing wider than before. Anabya's eyes twinkled seeing the exchange, her sister and husband raising her high expectations up a few notches.

"Wa alaikum as salaam," she replied and just as she got up to leave, Raiyyan said, "Hey, Bee, do me a favor, could you help me arrange these on the dining table?"

"Sure, Raiyyan Bhai. But what's all this?" She inquired, looking at all the parcels.

"That's a lot of food."

"Am I missing out on something?" Anabya blinked.

"So..." Tammara stretched, looking mischievously at Raiyyan.

"You aren't going to tell her directly, are you?" Raiyyan smirked.

"I really don't want to, what's the fun in that?" Tammara thought aloud.

"We don't have time to come up with creative ways, so either you do the honor or I will."

"No! Hush Raiyyan, let me think of something. Ok, so, Bee, what's that one thing that scares us girls yet is super beautiful?" Tammara questioned, and Anabya stared at her sister.

"Just tell me whatever it is, Tam."

"No! There's no fun in it. Come on, it's easy!"

"Is it the Jinn? They can come in beautiful forms and they're scary!" Raiyyan joked and Tam shot him a glare.

"You did not call that a Jinn!"

"I was joking. You are the one calling our baby that!" He pointed out, his lips twitching.

"I'm calling it that because I want Bee to guess!"

"Wait, what?" Anabya interrupted, staring at Tam.

"Subhan Allah! I think I just heard the word baby?" She asked, and suddenly everything had gone silent.

"Your big sis is pregnant, Anabya," Raiyyan replied softly and as if on cue, the waterworks began.

Tammara was the one who started crying when Anabya engulfed her in a giant hug and although she didn't show it, Anabya felt her eyes go moist and she blinked back tears.

"Why are you crying? This is so awesome ma sha Allah. Mabrook on receiving such a big blessing, alhamdulilah," she said taking a step back and looking at both of them.

"BarakAllahu feeki," Raiyyan replied, patting Tammara's back while she mumbled, "I don't even know why I'm crying."

"You're probably paying the price for making me cry all those years due to your tantrums," Raiyyan teased and she shook her head guiltily.

"Tam Pho baby!" Sulaiman squealed pointing at Tam and while Raiyyan laughed and carried him in his arm, Anabya said,

"I'm just going to go set the table."

The entire family sat for lunch after Aamina and Anabya set the table, and Anabya couldn't quite explain what she felt. Even the little gestures, despite their sweetness, seemed to prick her. Her mum fed Sulaiman, while her brother Furqaan seemed to transfer all the vegetables from his plate to his wife's while she, in turn, took it in her spoon and forcefully fed him. Raiyyan and Tammara were a different story altogether. They were currently in the washroom because Tam was feeling nauseous and she was throwing up her lunch.

These little pieces of life seemed so perfect in their own way but one thought, at the back of her mind, troubled her immensely. Which, a few hours later, she typed into her laptop.

Waiting for him, I tend to lose myself amidst people. Why do I have this feeling that I'm walking towards heart break? Probably because sometimes, the title of the chapter of love reads,

Happily Never After.