A/N: This is BOOK TWO of the Blaire Zabini series, so if you haven't read the first one then please go back and do so.

To the rest of you; enjoy!

Recent edit: 2nd June 2021 - updated cover designed and created by kr1st3nnn thank you!

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I squeezed the sponge, allowing the water to run back into the tub before pressing it against my son's cheek, gently wiping away his tears.

"I'm sorry, Mummy," he sobbed, "I just wanted to be brave like Daddy."

My heart clenched as it always did when he mentioned his father; the father he had never met but knew so well through the endless stories I told.

"I need you, Jack," I whispered, "you must understand that I can't lose you. Yes, Daddy was brave, brave like Uncle Neville. But it was their acts of bravery which took them away from me in the end."

I kissed the tip of his nose and pulled back, looking into his beautiful grey eyes; his father's eyes.

Pain shot through me as I recalled that day six years previously.

Draco had, of course, tried to save us all; but thanks to his father, he'd never achieved it. Instead, we had watched as Voldemort finally defeated Harry before ordering the attack on Hogwarts.

It was all down to Hermione's quick reflexes, however, that many of us had been saved from the explosion due to the powerful protection shield she'd cast over us.

And that is how we found ourselves hiding out underground; a small, yet fiercely loyal family of wizards and witches working every day to plan on bringing down the most evil wizard in history.

With protection spells in place, and a lot of hard work and planning; we had managed to make a series of tunnels underneath Hogwarts grounds into a liveable and working environment.

There was a slight snag, however, when I discovered that I had been, in fact, two months pregnant during the Battle of Hogwarts.

I had been putting all my symptoms down to shock and stress, so when Hermione asked me if there was a possibility I could be pregnant, I couldn't say no; Draco and I had hardly used the most reliable form of 'contraception' during our Easter interlude, after all.

I got awarded a major Granger lecture for my explanation ("If I relied on Ron to do that, I'd be spitting them out faster than his mother!").

We both fell into a silence after that; remembering Fred.

So, that was how Jack came into it. And even though I had been utterly terrified, his unexpected existence suddenly became my light during the darkest moments of my life.

And it made me feel close to Draco, knowing this child had been created from our love; this beautiful little boy who looked a lot like me but had inherited the Malfoy piercing grey eyes.

I hated that I couldn't go and see him; to let him know I was alive and that he had fathered our beautiful son. But it was too dangerous to let ourselves known; the moment Voldemort were to get wind of our hideout, he would no doubt smoke us all out and kill every single one of us.

I wrapped Jack up in a towel and pulled him onto my lap as I kissed the top of his head, nuzzling his soft body into me.

"Why is everyone sad today, Mummy?" He asked quietly, a slight tremor to his voice as though he was afraid he was asking something wrong.

It was sadly true that people found it hard to talk to Jack about what happened up top. He was such an inquisitive little boy and had so many questions about 'the upstairs'; but it made a lot of people sad remembering.

Ginny was one who particularly couldn't talk about it; refused to even say Harry's name since his death. Although she was very vocal in the planning of bringing down Voldemort - always slamming her fist down on the table; her eyes alive and sparking with fire, she generally had nothing to say to Jack, and showed zero interest in him.

However, I had a lot to be grateful for in Ron and Hermione, who Jack and I shared 'quarters' with. They were most definitely Jack's favourite people; Ron being the closest thing to another child to play with in Jack's small world, and Hermione being able to help sate his inquisitive mind by having an answer to almost every one of his many, many questions.

But the anniversary was always a tough day for us all, and yet it was understandable that Jack would be confused and upset by this, especially as everyone, including Hermione, was reluctant to soil his pure and innocent mind with stories of such evil.

"Jack, you are five years old," I said slowly, choosing my words carefully, "and that is a big age to be."

Jack puffed out his chest proudly. "Auntie Hermy says that I'll be getting my big boy teeth soon and that if I'm really really good, the tooth fairy might visit and leave something special under my pillow."

"Yes, yes you will," I nodded in agreement, "and as a big boy, I think it's time you learnt about why we can't go to the upstairs, about what happened on this day six years ago."

"Because of the bad people," Jack said simply. "Uncle Ron said the bad people took away his brother which is why Uncle George and Granny are sad all the time."

I gave my son a small sad smile. "Yes, that's right, the bad people did. But it was mostly one bad man making everyone do all these things. When you were still in my tummy, this bad man came to my school and he killed lots of people, including my dear friend Neville and Uncle Ron's brother Fred. And on this day we remember them and we miss them which is what makes the grownups sad."

Jack furrowed his face in a frown. "Did the bad man take Daddy away too? Is that why Daddy isn't here? Is he with Uncle Neville?"

I swallowed down the huge lump that had suddenly formed in my throat as I thought of my old friend. Six years on and it still felt like a knife slicing through my heart whenever I recalled Neville's last moments. He had been fearless to the end.

"Daddy is in a different place to Uncle Neville," I whispered, my voice trembling slightly, "Daddy has to pretend to be a bad person, but he isn't. And if he knew you, he would love you so, so incredibly much."

As Jack took in my words I squeezed him to me and closed my eyes.

Wherever Draco was, I told myself; I hoped he was alive and I hoped he had found some happiness at least.

******

"Well this is good news, Draco, surely? A Malfoy heir, just like the Dark Lord had hoped for."

Draco looked incredulously back at his mother, wondering who she was trying to kid more; him or herself?

"But I don't want this, Mother," he seethed as his eyes flicked upwards where his wife was resting upstairs. "I never wanted any of this! There was only one woman I ever wanted!"

His mother flinched as she usually did at the mention of Blaire. She quickly composed herself, trying to disguise the flicker of pain that had just crossed her features.

"Draco, you need to get past this, it's been six years, you cannot spend your entire adulthood mourning over her. She wouldn't have wanted that for you."

"But I can still feel her," he implored, begging her to understand. "I can't explain it. It's like she's still alive somehow. And everyday I am married to another woman I feel as though I'm betraying her and it makes me sick with guilt."

"Draco, there were no survivors, remember?" Narcissa said gently, yet firmly. "You can't let go of her because you refuse to. The only person you are betraying is your wife. And now she is carrying your child, which, I might add, you helped willingly create. So start taking responsibility and put ghosts to rest before you risk losing what's truly important."

Draco looked at his mother in dismay. This was not the response he had been expecting. She'd always supported him and understood, even shared, his grief over Blaire.

But it was different now, of course, because there was a grandchild involved. His child.

After his mother left, Draco stormed out into the grounds, needing some air.

He went to the one place he liked to be these days, the one place that gave him any semblance of happiness.

The second he opened the door to the summer house, his heart gave a little tug of joy as a small white dog came hurtling out, yapping excitedly at his ankles.

"Hey little dude," Draco chuckled, as he fondly greeted his furry friend behind the ears. "Fancy some company?"

Orion continued to bounce around at his heels as Draco stepped inside, closing the door firmly behind him.

Astoria only agreed to allow Draco to get a dog on one condition; that the dog must never enter the house. She was allergic, she claimed, and didn't want to spend the rest of her life ordering the servants to clean up dog hair.

So Draco converted one of the summer houses into a home for Orion, and the best part was, he knew Astoria would never step foot in it.

Which was a good thing too, because he'd pretty much turned it into a shrine for Blaire.

It was the only place he felt at ease in his and Astoria's modest countryside manor home. The room was cosy and warm and full of things that were every bit Blaire; beanbags, a magazine rack, a stack of games in the corner - including a Monopoly board (minus the absent Scottie dog) and a very over used deck of cards.

He never played them anymore; couldn't even bear to remove the cards from the pack. But he liked having them there.

The photo of them that she had framed for his seventeenth birthday sat in prominent position on the coffee table, and he would often pick it up and talk to her; mostly about everyday mundane things, but sometimes, if he could bring himself to say the words, he'd tell her that he loved her, that he missed her every single fucking day.

But today, he couldn't even bring himself to look into her smiling face as she pulled bunny ears behind his fourteen year old self's head.

He felt ashamed and guilty, and, as he sat down sobbing into his hands, he realised that maybe his mother was right. Maybe none of this was healthy.

He'd been married to Astoria for nearly two years and yet he still felt as though he was cheating on a damned photo.

And, as he thought of the child growing in his wife's stomach and his mother's words about putting ghosts to rest, he knew it was time.

It was time to say goodbye.

Shaking, he crossed the room and grabbed the pack of cards, shuffling them expertly in his hands as he settled himself into one of the beanbags; Orion snuggling down contentedly at his feet.

"What do you say?" He drawled softly as he forced himself to look at the photo upon the coffee table; his heart twisting as her big dark eyes blinked amusedly back at him.

"Best of Five?"

******