Draco felt the shameful plunge of his stomach as he stepped out of his meeting with Kingsley and walked straight into a stony faced looking Blaire.

"Three weeks our little boy has been asking when his daddy is going to read to him again." She hissed, jabbing a finger angrily in his chest. "Three weeks! Did you seriously think I would just shrug my shoulders and accept that without any explanation?"

"Blaire, please," Draco implored, his heart twisting painfully at the thought of hurting his son, "it hasn't been an easy decision for me to make."

"Could you not have trusted me to understand? Have I not proven to you that I've got your back, that I've always got your fucking back!"

She was angry, and rightly so, Draco thought ashamedly. He'd gone about this entirely the wrong way, thinking it was best to just stay away rather than having to cope with saying goodbye.

"I'm sorry," he said, guilt coursing through his veins. "And you're right, you deserve an explanation."

"Damn right I do!"

The door behind him flew open, making him startle.

"Um- would you two like to use the meeting room?" Kingsley asked, poking his head out. "I think I might go and knock Minerva up for a cup of her special brew."

Draco gratefully accepted, moving inside to continue their conversation as Kingsley bade them farewell.

As he closed the door, shutting them in the room together, Draco looked back at Blaire, expecting the fury to still be rife upon her face.

But instead he was surprised to see her look utterly pained and defeated; hurt. And he had to fight the maddening urge to take her in his arms and take it all away.

"Blaire, I-I-" he spluttered, rooted to the spot in shame.

"Don't hurt Jack," she said shakily, "please."

Draco released a heavy, resigned sigh; his entire body sagging in exhaustion and heartache. "I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt him... or you."

"Then please," Blaire begged again, "don't turn your back on him. He doesn't deserve that. He's just a five year old little boy who wants to know his daddy."

No longer being able to take the weight of the pain and emotion anymore, Draco grabbed the nearest chair and plonked himself heavily down, tiredly rubbing his face in his hands.

"That day I spent with you and Jack," he murmured hoarsely, slowly looking back up at Blaire, "it was probably the best day of my life. In fact, it was everything; beyond my wildest dreams. When I returned home, I told Astoria I was held up at work." He paused, feeling that familiar flood of utter self loathing and hatred. "I told myself the lie was okay, was necessary even. But then there was Daphne."

"Daphne?" Blaire asked, evidently confused by what his sister in law had to do with anything.

"She was utterly distraught because she suspected Theo; her husband and father of her unborn child, was lying to her; claiming to be at work when it was fairly obvious he'd been with someone else. And I thought, what a piece of scum, before realising I was doing exactly the same thing to Astoria."

"It's not the same, Drac," Blaire said in a breathy whisper, "surely you must see that?"

"If I could, I would divorce Astoria in a heartbeat rather than lie to her again, but I can't; it's a fucking death sentence. And I refuse to be a Theo; the husband who tells his wife he is at work when really he's just screwing around-"

As soon as the words left his lips, he regretted them. Blaire looked as though he had just slapped her.

"Shit, Blaire; I didn't mean-"

"That little boy loves you." She cut in angrily, her face twisting in fury. "He has done nothing wrong. Do not act like spending time with him is of the same worth as having some sleazy extramarital affair!"

"But don't you see," he said frustratedly, driving his hands through his hair, "it's not me seeing Jack that's the issue."

She looked at him then, and he allowed her see the longing and heartache in his eyes, trying to get her to understand.

Because the truth was he just knew he couldn't be around her without loving her physically. He could see it happening; it would start with longing looks here and lingering touches there, until eventually he would not be able to prevent himself from kissing her and losing himself completely in her body.

But Blaire didn't deserve that. He wanted her to be his one and only, his everything - not his bit on the side; the other woman. She was worth so much more than that.

"Oh," she said, pain flitting over her face as the truth dawned on her. "It's me, isn't it? I'm the reason you've stayed away."

Draco nodded, and felt the drop of a tear roll down his cheek. "I love you, Blaire. I never stopped. And being around you... I'm breaking every marriage vow I made."

"You can't punish Jack for that. It's not fair."

"I just don't know what else to do. All I can think is that if I put everything into working for the resistance then maybe there can be some sort of future for us all. I can divorce Astoria and you and Jack can finally come back up to where you belong-"

"Stop. Please," she implored, and he could see the tears swimming in her eyes. "I want to dream, I really do, but what you're talking about is a big if. One that might not happen for years, possibly not even in our lifetime. It would drive me insane clinging onto that much hope. For now, I just need to know that Jack is happy, and being happy means seeing his daddy. So please, I'm begging you, Drac; stop freezing him out because of me."

He opened his mouth, wanting so desperately to say yes, to go and be the father his little boy deserved. But he found the word stuck in the back of his throat, terrified of making the wrong decision.

"If it makes it easier," Blaire continued, a slight tremor to her voice as though she really didn't want to say what she was about to say, "I'll stay away. I'll make myself scarce when you come and see Jack."

Their eyes met, and he experienced a feeling of such bittersweetness stab his heart; the mixture of gratitude and sadness all in one.

"Okay," he murmured hoarsely, hating that it had to come to this.

A look of relief flooded her face. "Will you see him now?"

"Of course," he said, jumping to his feet, suddenly wanting to see him more than anything.

"Just give me a five minute head start," she said, moving past him for the door, "I'll let him know you're on your way, and then... well, I've got things to do. I promised I'd help Luna with her jewellery."

She was about to open the door when she hesitated and turned around. "Drac, can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he said keenly. "Anything."

"Those cuts that were on your face. Where did they come from?"

Draco felt thrown, having not expected this question at all. He swallowed, thinking carefully about his answer. He knew he could not hide it from her, that she'd see right through his lies.

"I tried to love her, to be a good husband, I really did," he said slowly, quietly. "But- but she knew I never wanted it, never wanted any of it."

He saw it at once; the anger tremor through her body, the flash in her eyes and the whitening of her knuckles as her grip tightened on the door handle.

"Drac, please promise me one thing," she said slowly, her voice fierce and steady, "if the chance does ever arise for you to get divorced; then make sure that if you do it for anyone, you do it for yourself."

Their eyes lingered, and Draco was suddenly so grateful to her for everything; for being nothing but herself. His soulmate who'd always love him, no matter what, just like he'd always love her.

She awaited his nod before she yanked the door open and slipped away, leaving Draco feeling somehow less alone than he'd done in a long, long time.

******