"Mummy, mummy, mummy!"

I was woken up by my son jumping all over me.

"Happy birthday little fox," I grinned, catching him in my arms and kissing his face all over.

He squealed with laughter as I tickled his sides. Despite the early morning wake up call, I felt a rush of love as I looked at the beautiful boy Draco and I had created.

"Can I open my present now?"

I grinned reaching over to the table by the bed to grab the small gift off the side.

"Thank you, Mummy," he gushed as he unwrapped the vegetable necklace Luna had helped me make. "Carrots!"

My god I was lucky that Jack was easily pleased. I could only imagine how six year old Draco would've reacted to such a gift.

"Are we going to have my party now?" Jack asked eagerly, yanking the necklace down over his head as carrots knocked against parsnips.

"Not yet," I said, pressing a finger to his button nose. "But I know Uncle Ron is cooking you your favourite birthday breakfast this morning."

"PANCAKES!"

There were smiles all around as Ron served up his burnt attempts of Jack's favourite breakfast.

"Brilliant!" Jack cried joyfully as his came with an extra dollop of cream.

Ron beamed proudly, ruffling the top of Jack's long dark hair. "Anything for our brave little explorer."

"Big," Jack corrected him, proudly puffing out his chest. "I'm six now."

I felt my heart pang as Hermione and I exchanged a mournful look. Each birthday Jack experienced was a harsh reminder of how long we'd been living in hiding.

And, as my eyes flicked down to Hermione's large stomach, I wondered if we'd still be down here when we celebrated her little girl's sixth birthday.

I just thanked Merlin that Draco had found us before he missed out on anymore of our son's life; and not only that, his weekly comings and goings made the rest of us all feel that slightly less isolated from the world Upstairs.

And although Kingsley assured us all that Draco's reports were helping, it was clear there was still no hope in thwarting Voldemort without getting more people Upstairs on our side.

"Can I use them now?" Jack asked as he unwrapped a new set of colouring pencils from Ron and Hermione. "I want to draw Daddy a picture."

"Of course you can, Jack," Hermione said, getting up off her seat and starting to clear the table, "let's tidy the breakfast things away first and we'll see about getting you some fresh parch-"

"Sit, woman!" Ron ordered fiercely, "Blaire and I can sort this, you go and rest your feet up on the sofa with the birthday boy and I'll bring you a nice cup of herbal tea."

"So what time is Daddy Ferret getting here?" Ron asked me quietly as we stood side by side in the kitchen, washing and drying up.

I whacked him sharply with the tea-towel, scowling. "Don't call him that. Draco will be here when he gets here."

And no doubt showing up my gift big time.

I wasn't wrong.

"Daddy!" Jack cried when, later that morning, Draco himself walked through the door armed with his briefcase.

Jack jumped up and flung himself across the room where he barrelled head first into his father's midriff.

"Happy birthday, little fox," Draco chuckled, crouching down to give his son a hug. "Who here wants some presents?"

"ME!" Jack spluttered, his cheeks glowing red with excitement. "Mummy made me this necklace and Auntie Hermy and Uncle Ron gave me pencils of all the colours of the rainbow!"

"Here we go," Ron muttered under his breath so that only I could hear, "let's watch him turn our Jack into a proper little Malfoy."

Draco glanced up, our eyes meeting across the room as Jack took his hand and dragged him over to the sofa. My heart fluttered as we both helplessly smiled at one another, and I had to look away, distracting myself with filling up the kettle to disguise the shaking of my hands.

The idea of spending actual time with him on our son's birthday was making me feel completely overwhelmed. Up until that moment, every single one of Jack's birthdays I had envisaged what it would be like to have Draco share it with us; a longing, hopeful dream. And then to actually have him there...

"Here, let me," Ron insisted, moving me away from the kettle and steering me towards the sofa. "For one day, just go and enjoy being a family. For Jack's sake."

I threw him a grateful look before going over to join Jack and Draco, placing myself next to Jack who was already eagerly tearing off the wrappings of a present almost twice his size.

"Wow, Drac," I muttered quietly over the top of Jack's head, "you do realise I'll never get away with giving him dried up veg on a piece of string ever again after this?"

"And that's a bad thing?" Draco drawled as his eyes flashed amusedly back at me.

"MR FOX!" Jack cried as the present was revealed to be an oversized cuddly toy.

"It's from your Mum, as well," Draco said at once, throwing me a discreet wink. "Although I know it's nowhere near as awesome as your scrumptious looking necklace."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the tug of my lips at the corners of my mouth.

"It's not to eat, Daddy," Jack scowled, immediately dropping the humongous fox to clutch protectively at his necklace as though he thought Draco was going to pluck a mouldy old Brussels sprout from it and pop it in his mouth.

I threw a smug look back at Draco, resisting the temptation to poke my tongue out.

"Something tells me you might like your next present though," Draco chuckled, his eyes not leaving mine as he reached back into his briefcase, pulling from it, not one, but two small wrapped packages.

My heart instantly stilled as he placed one in my hand. I knew what it was without opening it.

"Drac," I said, my breath suddenly tightening, "you shouldn't..."

"How could I not, Zabini?"

Warm grey eyes. Too much, too much.

"It's not my birthday."

"No, but it's our son's and you deserve a present too."

I shakily unwrapped the gift, revealing the bag of chocolate Muggle money. It was instantaneous; the sudden surge of emotions tearing through me, and I felt something inside of me break.

"Blaire?" Draco asked, his voice full of concern as Jack excitedly jumped up and down with his own bag of chocolate coins claiming he was richer than the queen.

Excusing myself, I hurried to the bedroom in the pretence of needing to freshen up.

Still clutching the bag of chocolate coins in my hand, I sat down on the edge of my bed as tears splashed down my face at an alarming rate. I couldn't seem to get my lungs to work quick enough and I wondered what on earth was wrong with me.

"Blaire?"

I looked up in alarm as Draco poked his head hesitantly around the door. His face fell in horror upon seeing the state I was in.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He said immediately, closing the door behind him as he strode over and crouched down in front of me, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "Blaire, I didn't think. I just wanted to make you smile."

"I miss you," I sobbed harder, letting it all out as I clung onto him fiercely, inhaling his familiar heavenly scent, "I miss you so much. I just want to go back; to get back the time we've lost and the people we'll never see again. Bernard, Goyle, Colin, Tonks, Lupin... Neville. I want it all back, Drac. I just want it back."

The grief I was feeling was like nothing I'd ever felt before. It felt as though all these years I'd been bottling it up and was finally letting it out.

"I know, Blaire, I know," Draco murmured, cupping my face in his hands as warm lips pressed furiously against my brow. "But you know, something good has come out of all of this; our little boy. Jack. We need to hold onto that for him. And I promise, I'll spend everyday of the rest my life trying to get you out of here, I promise."

I shuddered, looking into his eyes; my heart stilling at the sincerity and love within them.

"When you came back into my life," I swallowed, knowing right then I just needed to be honest with him, "everything seemed to fall back into place. I'd spent years holding onto the hope I'd see you again and that you'd meet our son. Finding out you're married; it crushed me, Drac. Not because you can't be with me, but because it means you can't even bear to be in the same room as me anymore. And it's selfish, I know; but I miss you; I miss you so fucking much."

The tears continued to spill; Draco patiently wiping them away with his thumbs.

"You don't have to miss me anymore," he implored, dropping his hands from my face to clasp my hands in his, grey eyes looking intently into mine, "because I'm here; and I was wrong to say I couldn't be around you. I realise now I've just been making you feel like the other woman, and that's not fair. But if you can accept me back as your friend - best friend; I would love that very much. Because I've always needed you in my life, Zabini, in some way or another - I need you."

"I need you too," I whispered as I smiled through my tears. "Ever since that first day you asked me to share a compartment with you on the train; I needed you then and I need you now."

My vision became momentarily obscured as he let go of my hands to pull me back into his arms, offering me a hug so comforting, I felt as though I'd come home.

"We better get back to Jack," I said, my voice muffled against his chest as my fingers clung into the fabric of his shirt. "He'll be wondering where we are."

"Well, then," Draco chuckled softly, a smile twitching at his lips as he gently pulled away from me and retrieved a pack of cards from his pocket. "Let's go and teach our son exactly how it's done."

******