NOTE: Check out this week's hilarious audiobook by kaelking12! Hope you guys enjoy the listen!

https://youtu.be/sB4bPRXz7Dg

CHAPTER 39

Elias

New Text Message from Tanner King at 5:35 PM:

T: If you're not outside in the next thirty seconds, I'll abandon you as a sibling and never drive you anywhere again...Your choice, hermano!

E: Dude, I need a minute!

T: You've had several!

E: I get that, but I'm not gonna get out there any faster if you keep texting me.

T: Man, I gave you fifteen minutes of radio silence to get it together, get dressed, and go. How much longer do you need?

E: No sé. Quizá para siempre. (Dunno maybe forever).

T: Relax, Eli. You're gonna do great tonight.

E: And what if I don't? What if this whole first date thing blows up in my face and she hates it?

T: What part of her liking you do you not understand?

E: If I don't nail it tonight, she might not like me anymore. People have regrets you know.

T: Yeah, and waiting for you is one of mine. 10 seconds left...

E: Seriously, Tanner, I don't think I can do this.

T: Ok, then. Have fun explaining to Lacey why you bailed on your first date.

E: Fine, I'm coming! But can I call mom first? I need moral support.

T: You know you can't. Her and Dad's counseling thing's probably already started.

E: It's not like that therapy stuff works anyway.

T: I get where you're coming from but they wanna try. So just chill out and come downstairs. Your girlfriend's waiting ;).

Tanner's last text should excite me. Technically, I should be over the moon right now or dancing on the ceiling 'cause I finally get to see Lacey.

But I'm not excited, or dancing, or over the moon.

Instead, I'm bent over the toilet trying not to vomit the mac and cheese I ate for lunch all over my outfit.

My whole body's got it out for me.

I've been down on my knees for way too long, and if I don't get up soon, I'm probably gonna lose my ability to walk. I push against the toilet rim and force myself to sit up, so I can get my head on straight.

Today's the big day.

First week of Spring Break's coming to a close, and Lacey's finally back. I've been aching to see her since Spring Formal last weekend, but before I even got the chance the softball team stole her from me. Lacey was off to training camp less than twenty-four hours after we officially made the softball field the best place on campus. Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked that she's doing the whole sports thing. She's been texting me everyday telling me how much she loves it. But training camp's kinda put our whole relationship talk on hold—which—sucks.

A lot. Like. A lot a lot.

Luckily, I've had a little over five days to rehearse things, but tonight I've gotta nail it or else she might not wanna date me.

At all.

No pressure.

My stomach makes a point to violently disagree. The muscles tighten and twist, and, before I know it, I'm face down over the toilet again. The dry heaves are the worst. There's not enough food left in me to make this struggle worthwhile.

Signs you don't know how to date a girl #1:

Fake puking at the thought of asking her to be your girlfriend.

And that's what gets me.

Asking her out would be smooth sailing if I genuinely knew how to get into a relationship. But I don't...like...at all, which is exactly why I avoided feelings and all that jazz before Lacey.

I mean, I've seen relationships on TV, and my brother's a boss at it but then again he's only been with one girl since the dawn of time so—he doesn't count.

Everybody talks about that "game changer" girl who appears outta the sky and makes you want to man up and act like boyfriend of the year. I didn't think I'd ever find her—or get to kiss her till my mouth just about fell off or get to date her outside of my imagination.

But here I am.

Sitting around on a perfect Saturday with the chance to finally take Lacey out for the first time—and I'm freaking out.

Real talk.

I've been locked in this bathroom for the last fifteen minutes, sweating bullets, and generally feeling like I'm about to die or explode. All the signs of the apocalypse are there but thanks to Tanner's threats, I can't pray to the porcelain goddess forever.

I slowly make my way over to the sink and splash some water on my face so I look a little more normal and less like a dude who's tripping out on bath salts. I don't remember ever sweating this much. Like ever. Even during sex, I didn't get this bad and that's usually when I'm at the peak of my sweat game.

Not that I'm thinking about sex right now because obviously Lacey's not that kinda girl which means I can't be that kinda guy tonight or—ever again. I read online somewhere that decent boyfriends don't think about sex 24/7—especially on first date nights. 

That would be a dick move.

Which is why I'm mildly upset about the fact that my dick moves every time I think about seeing Lacey, or touching her, or holding her again.

It's been like this for a week. Ever since we kissed at Spring Formal, I've been fighting to not let my mind plummet into unspeakable places.

Not gonna lie, I lose the battle nine outta ten times.

I'm fifteen. Sue me.

And the fact that the girl I'm crazy about has been physically gone for the last couple days hasn't been helping. I mean, I get it—it's Spring break, people are busy. But so is my brain. Not having Lacey around—especially after that outta-this-world make out session, has turned my fantasizing into a problem.

Not because I'm a perve but because—

—I miss her.

A lot.

Which sounds crazy.

But it's gotten so bad that now I feel like I don't know how to physically be around her in a normal date setting without letting my imagination run wild.

Like right now I'm wondering what she'll be wearing later, and what she'll be wearing under that, or if she'll ever want me to take her out of the outfit she's—

A wave of heat shoots through my body and threatens to set off Mt. St. Helens in my pants. I'm hard when I don't wanna be. I'm nervous when I shouldn't be. And if I don't get it together, Tanner's gonna drop me like a hot potato, bail, and Lacey will dump me for blowing the night all together.

Bad thoughts = boner problem solved.

Excellent.

Once I manage to get down to at least half-mast, I bust out of the bathroom, douse myself in cologne, and jet out of my bedroom door. My panic-run comes to a halt when I spot a small gift box sitting on top of the stairs.

It's tied together with a bright red bow and neatly wrapped in the way only Mom could manage. I pick it up and stop to read the note written in her careful handwriting across the card taped to the top of the box.

"Mijo,

I know today is special for you, so I wanted to give you something special since I can't be there to see you off. This bracelet was given to me by my grandmother when I was in high school. She believed that it would bring me blessings in love if I wore it. Now that you've found someone special, I want to give it to you. I hope Lacey will like it as much as I did. I love you and wish you the best tonight.
-Mama"

I grip the box a little tighter and whisper out a thank you I wish she could hear. I don't know if it's the bracelet or the belief my mother has in me, but by the time I walk out the front door—I'm less scared of messing up things with Lacey 'cause Mom's blessings are in my back pocket.

***

Thanks to Tanner's anal tendencies about being late to anything, he gets me to the batting cages twenty minutes before Lacey's supposed to show. He's been pissier than normal lately which I've boiled down to three possible reasons.

Pissy reason #1: He is my brother. Go figure.
Pissy reason #2: Caleigh's spending Spring Break at a surf camp he was supposed to go to until Dad made him 

cancel. So instead of having a blast cutting up the waves with Caleigh, he's been stuck babysitting me while Mom and Dad are at some bull marriage counseling retreat.

Pissy reason #3: He's upset that Dad's back at home even though he's been trying his hardest not to be. I mean I get he's the "good son" but—everybody has limits. 

Him and Dad don't talk or hang out like they used to which I wanna believe is a good thing. But Tanner's been acting confused and cagey about the entire situation which is 100% why we need to talk about it. It's been impossible for me and him to sit down and talk about anything Dad-related with Dad around, but, now that he's not, I wanna figure out where his head's at. Maybe then I can figure out where his heart is.

I glance over to the driver's side only to find Tanner texting with one hand and chewing his nails off the other. The kid's barely got anything left to bite, so I reach out and stop him before he eats his way through the skin.

"Dude, you gotta stop that. Seriously, I can't sit here and watch you annihilate your fingers anymore. What's with you, man? Is everything okay?" I ask.

Tanner awkwardly lowers his hands away from his mouth and shoves them into the pockets of his board shorts. The five o'clock shadow on his jaw twitches a little as his muscles tense and tighten at the question. My brother barely gets stressed about anything—even when he's under pressure with things at school or getting ready for college, he still manages to keep his cool. But this time's different. Our family's different. His relationship with dad's different. So watching him fall apart over everything that's happened feels like getting the wind kicked out of me—even if I don't show it.

"Honestly, E?"

"Honestly, honestly."

Tanner blows a tuft of air into his bangs and stares up at the ceiling.

"Things...kinda suck right now. And I'm not trying to be a downer, but it's like—up until this whole thing with Mom and Dad happened, I thought I could handle our family's problems. I thought I could handle Dad. I know it looks like him and me hang out and do father son things together, but I spend most of that time trying to talk him down. Trying to calm him down so he doesn't go off on mom or you as bad as I'm scared he would, you know?"

Tanner's voice tightens up, but he keeps himself in control like always.

"What does he talk to you about?"

"Just work and never feeling like he's done enough for any of us. I don't know. Sometimes he brings up his dad, and from what I've heard, their relationship was completely jacked."

A familiar frustration sparks to life in the center of my stomach.

"Yeah, but that doesn't excuse him from being an asshole."

"I'm not saying it does. I'm just saying it makes sense given what happened to him. But even though I know all that, I never thought he'd try to hurt you like that—or that he'd hurt m—"

I click off my seat belt, reach across the Wrangler and hug my brother for the first time in way too long. He's the better talker of the two of us, but I don't want him to have to put that night back into words. I don't want or need him to try to explain Dad to me. I just want him to know that he's still got me in his corner. That he'll always have me no matter what Dad decides to do.

"Sometimes, I wish it could just be the three of us, you know? Just you, me, and Mom. Things would be different. Better. That's why I'm still having a hard time with her taking him back and doing all this therapy crap. Mom deserves better than that, and so do you," I say.

Tanner lets go of me, leans back against his seat, and shuts his eyes like he's trying to work out our family like a math problem in his mind.

"I wish it was that easy, Eli. But Mom's got us to take care of. I'm leaving for UCLA next year, you're just starting high school. She's not in a position right now where she can just up and leave. And Dad's not in a position where he could take it."

I grip the corners of the passenger's seat hard enough for my knuckles to pale. I know Tanner's right. I don't want him to be. I want the three of us to be able to snap our fingers and make Dad disappear. But the real world doesn't work that way. Bad people beat up the good ones and shattered homes stay broken.

"So what? We're just supposed to sit around at home and hope a couple therapy sessions save us next time Dad goes off?" I ask.

"No. We're supposed to live our lives and hope to God that something like that never happens again."

"And how am I supposed to do that? Just act like Dad and all his problems don't exist?"

"No, but I want you to act like you can exist outside of them. You're a freshman, Eli. It's not your job to do damage control, it's not your job to fix this family. It's your job to have fun. To take your girlfriend out as much as you can and fall in love with her. To live like none of Dad's problems define you because they don't. And I know that sounds crazy, but even if it's just for today—just let it all go, and knock this date outta the park with Lacey, okay?"

Tanner extends an arm and ruffles probably two hours of careful styling out of my hair. I don't even have it in me to get pissed at him for it because he's turning out to be one of the best brothers in the world.

"Fine, but if I blow it—"

"You're blaming me. Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before. You'll be fine. Speaking of fine, there's a very beautiful girl who just walked up to the entrance. I'd get out and take your chances before somebody else sweeps her off her feet."

Tanner points up to the rearview. I spot Lacey standing at the front doors with a baseball bat slung over her shoulder and her hair flowing down her back under her MBH softball cap. She's got her school jersey on and is rocking the kind of little white skirt that could give me all kinds of ideas if I'm not careful. 

She looks beautiful. Even more than she did all dressed up on the night of Spring Formal which is crazy because you'd think a girl like her in a dress would've been the be all end all for me. But this outfit. That jersey. Is something else.

Mom probably should've packed me a couple Bible verses in that gift box because Lord knows tonight I'm gonna need Him.

"Elias? Earth to space cadet, did you hear me?" Tanner asks, but honestly I'm too busy staring at Lacey to care.

"Did I hear what?"

Tanner runs his hand down the length of his face and sighs through his fingers. My bad.

"I was just explaining the ground rules for tonight's date."

"Ground rules? Please."

"Hey, I'm serious. Considering the fact that Mom basically met this girl at hospital church, you better behave, okay? Don't be creepy. You've got a girlfriend now, and if you wanna keep it that way don't be—you."

I whip my head in his direction and cock an eyebrow.

"What do you mean, don't be me? Caleigh said I should be myself around Lace, and now you're saying the opposite? I don't get it."

"I don't mean, don't be you, you. I just mean don't be creepy you. Like I hear what you do in your room—and this last week has been unholy. So—all I'm saying is, now that you have a girlfriend—you gotta keep yourself in check."

I rip my eyes away from Tanner and start staring holes into the car floor 'cause I'm way too ashamed of myself right now to look at him straight.

"I-I-I can explain that. I just missed her okay? And like after the whole kissing thing last weekend my head's been—"

"—in the gutter. I know—more than I want to. Listen, just be cool. Don't think about sex, or making moves, or doing ANYTHING, unless she says she wants to and she's comfortable. Your girlfriend makes the rules always, you get me?"

I'm stressed.

"Yeah, okay. Fine. I'll be good. Can I go now?"

"Sure, but one more thing. When you and Lacey, do finally—you know—go there, it'll be different."

"What do you mean different?"

Tanner smiles to himself, but I really don't wanna know the details of what triggered that memory.

"It just is. When the person matters to you, connecting in that way is pretty incredible. But you're not ready for the big leagues yet. You can barely handle yourself around Lacey right now."I flip Tanner the bird, reach for the door handle, and step outta the car.

"Thanks for the advice, loser. I'll see you later, and for the record, I can handle myself just fine."

Tanner's eyes disappear from mine for a couple seconds only for him to end up smirking at me when he catches my gaze again.

"Then you might wanna handle your little friend there before you think about hugging Lacey. You don't want him to greet her before you do, if you catch my drift."

It takes about a half a second for me to figure out what my brother's talking about and even less time for the embarrassment to settle in.

"Can you leave already? I got enough problems without you here, and I gotta go," I say, while trying my hardest to calm down and smooth down the front of my shorts.

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least you came prepared. Who needs a baseball bat when you've got that thing—"

"Bye, Tanner!"

I peace out before he can say or do anything else to mess up my night with Lacey before it's even started.

By the time I finally manage to get myself over to where she's standing, I've physically calmed myself down enough to approach her.

Not gonna lie, part of me wants to turn around and run, but the other part wants to sprint over to her, take her into my arms, and tell her how much I've missed her. I call out her name and instead of smiling and waving back like I expect her to, Lacey shatters all my expectations.

She flies down the front steps and catches me in the kind of hug that nearly knocks me off my feet. Lacey's smell surrounds me to the point where I'd happily drown in the scent of coconuts and summer rain rising off her skin. I tighten my grip around her waist and tickle her just enough to tease the best laugh in the world out of her. She drops her chin into the slope of my shoulder and breathes a soft "I missed you" against my skin.

I smile to myself like an idiot 'cause if this is what having a girlfriend is like I'm all in. And if this is what seeing Lacey is like after missing her, I'd go for another week just to do this all over again. I reach up, twist her hat backwards, and kiss her the way I've been wanting to since the night she left. Lacey sighs against my mouth like she's needed this moment as badly as I have. I pull away from her before I can't and place her back down on her feet.

"Can we do this every time you leave for softball camp?" I ask.

Lacey flashes me a megawatt smile.

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On whether or not you'll be around next season."

Lacey's eyes dart away from mine the way they do whenever she's nervous. I take the side of her face in my hand before she dissolves any further into herself.

"Why wouldn't I be, Lace?"

"I don't know. It's just we haven't really talked about what we—um—"

"You know I wanna date you, right? Sorry, wait, that sounded kinda lame and way too casual. Let me start over. What I meant was, I wanna be with you—be with you."

A furrow the size of the San Andreas fault breaks out in the middle of Lacey's forehead.

"What do you mean be with me?"

Crap.

"Not in the physical kinda way, but I wanna be with you as in be your boyfriend or whatever. And for the record, please don't think that I don't wanna be with you physically 'cause I do—eventually, but that's not what I'm asking right now—if you know what I mean. You do know what I mean, right?"

And the Oscar for the lamest way to ask out a girl goes to...

She kisses me, and I silently thank God for it.

"I do and thank you. Honestly, I was so nervous to see you today because I've been meaning to talk about—"

"Last Saturday?"

"Yeah, but I—"

"—didn't know how," I finish her sentence like it's as easy as breathing and then take her hand until it disappears in mine.

"So, Ms. Sanders, now that you arguably have the best boyfriend in the universe, can he walk you inside and impress you with his incredible batting cage skills?" I say, but I'm not exactly sure why I do because I have literally never touched a baseball bat in my life. 

I mean sure I got forced to play t-ball in elementary school gym, but I sucked back then. Hopefully, hitting a ball shooting out at ninety miles per hour will be easier than hitting one standing completely still.

Lacey runs up the stairs, grabs her bat off the ground, and opens the front doors like an excited little kid.

"After you, big slugger."

Ha. I don't even know what that means, but I think I like it.

As matter of fact, I like it so much that I'm barely paying attention to anything the manager and safety guy is saying as he walks me and Lacey over to our cage. He's a balding, forty-ish looking, pot-bellied dude whose butt-crack-low pants leave nothing to the imagination, so between him and Lacey, you can guess who I'm paying attention to.

Once he's done mumbling something about helmets to me and Lacey between loud smacks of his Big League Chew, he hands me a light metal bat and wishes me luck.

"You okay with top speed, kid?" He asks.

Of course I am, I've a woman to impress.

"Heck yeah. Fire it up, hombre!"

I tighten my grip on my bat, wink at Lacey, and waltz into the cage like I'm the Lebron James of baseball.

"Elias, wait don't you wanna stretch or something beforehand? You could get hurt."

Lacey loops her fingers through the cross-hatched metal between us and does her best to change my mind, but it's too late. I'm too caught up in the smell of rubber, dust, and metal to go back now. All I gotta do is knock this ball outta the park and the start of this date will be legendary.

"I'll be fine. I'm a boss at this remember?"

I step over the white line on the floor and right into the center of the weird little triangle painted on the ground. I assume that it's pointing in the direction where my body should be facing so I square up and call out for the manager dude to fire off the first ball.

But the second he does, I go from being on top of the world to be absolutely petrified. The batting cage transforms into a battlefield, and it's me vs. high speed missile with only a dinky metal bat to protect myself.

I swing hard—too hard, so much so that the force of it sends me spinning into a full 360-degree turn. The bat flies out of my hand, and I end up back where I started—facing the devil spawn of a ball machine except without any way to defend myself.

I blink and then it hits me.

A baseball-sized atom bomb explodes right in the center of my stomach.

My lungs shatter along with my dignity.

I'm gasping for air by the time I hit the ground.

Lucky for me, praying doesn't require actual speaking to be done.

So I ask God for a favor.

I beg him to let me pass out instead of having to face my girlfriend looking like a crumpled up cockroach instead of a champion.

And lucky for me, He's listening.

###

Thank you guys so much for waiting a long three weeks for this one! We hope you enjoyed reading/listening and can't wait to share the rest of Eli and Lacey's first date with you! Thanks again for waiting for updates to get back on track after vacation! Next update should be next weekend unless stated otherwise! 

#RealTalkQuestionofTheWeek

1. How do you think Lacey will take Elias's first date fail?

2. Have you ever had a super embarrassing moment happen on a first date?

3. What is the worst date you've ever been on?