NOTE: Definitely not an audiobook to miss! Check out kaelking12's crazy intense read of Chapter 43!

https://youtu.be/RHzKcWBerjk

CHAPTER 43

Elias

New Text Message to Lacey Sanders at 1:15 PM:

EK: Lacey, please pick up the phone.

EK: Please?

EK: I'm sorry.

EK: I swear I didn't mean any of what I said at lunch.

EK: But I can't fix this if I can't reach you.

EK: Just call me back, okay?

Outgoing call to Lacey Sanders at 1:20 PM

Call Ignored.

Outgoing call to Lacey Sanders at 1:23 PM

Call Ignored.

Outgoing call to Lacey Sanders at 1:30 PM:

"Hey, Lacey here. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but leave a message after the beep, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Lace, listen, I know I'm the last person you probably wanna hear from right now, but—I really need to talk to you.

Look, about how I acted in the cafeteria earlier—that wasn't me.

I mean it was me, but it wasn't the guy I ever wanted to be in front of you.

You know I didn't mean any of what I said, right?

I guess I just panicked 'cause I was scared people were gonna find out about you and me, and I shot my mouth off like an idiot.

And...I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I hurt you.

And you have every right to be pissed at me for putting you on the spot like that. I was 100% in the wrong, Lace—and I need you to hear that.

I should've just kept my mouth shut, pulled you aside, and talked to you in private, but when I saw you—I just lost it.

Truth is, I've been worried about you all morning. More worried than you understand. And when I walked into that cafeteria, I was already wired 'cause I couldn't find you anywhere, and I hadn't heard from you.

And when I finally got a chance to talk to you, you brushed me off.

And that isn't like you.

Actually, none of this is like you.

Maybe I missed something, but you looked at me differently.

Like you didn't want anything to do with me.

And I still don't know why that is.

But maybe you were scared. Maybe all the eyes and attention on us made you wanna hide what we are. Maybe you were playing things off to get out of the limelight.

But it was an act, right?

Maybe that's a stupid question. I'm not sharp like you, Lace. It takes me a while to figure things out, and I couldn't figure you out at that moment.

I couldn't get my head around what was happening when it was happening if that makes any sense.

Honestly, I'm still trying to.

But me being confused and stupid doesn't excuse me from slipping back into the version of me I never wanted you to know.

And, I'm sorry you met that guy today. But I won't let that happen again.

I won't allow myself or the Gawker or anybody else to hurt you again.

And even though I'm basically repeating myself at this point, I'm sorry.

Lacey, I'm so sorry.

Please, just let me fix this.

'Cause I know I can.

It's up to you to give me that chance.

Call ended.

***

Outgoing call to Lacey Sanders at 2:30 PM:

"Hey, Lacey here. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but leave a message after the beep, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Hey, it's me again. Class started like forty minutes ago, but I can't really deal with being in school right now.

Please just tell me where you are so we can talk.

I'm sitting in the softball bleachers—waiting for you which is probably a stupid thing to do given the circumstances.

But I just wanna see you, Lace.

Even if it's for a couple minutes before practice starts, that'll be enough.

For the record, I'm not like my dad. I know how to apologize and admit when I've made a mistake.

And I want to do that face to face.

With you.

Look, even if you don't wanna see me, we can do things over text just—

—don't bail on me, Lacey.

Please.

Call ended.

***

New Text Message from Tanner King at 3:01 PM:

TK: Eli, where are you right now?

EK: Around. Why?

TK: You wanna explain why the front office just called me in about you disappearing outta class halfway through the day?

EK: Long story. Don't wanna get into it rn.

TK: Cut the crap, Elias. They're thinking about calling Dad if I don't give them a good reason.

EK: Just tell them I got sick and that Mom picked me up without following procedure or whatever.

TK: If I lie for you, I expect the full story when I get outside. We've gotta leave for my meet ASAP to beat traffic so be at the car and ready to go in 10 minutes.

EK: What meet?

TK: R u serious?! I've been talking about it since last week.

EK: Forgot. Got a lot on my mind lately...

TK: As in Lacey?

EK: You have no idea.

TK: Eli, having a girlfriend doesn't mean you drop everything else. You still have a life to keep up with and responsibilities at home.

EK: Why is it my responsibility to go with you? I can find another ride home.

TK: Because that's not what you, me, Mom, and Dad agreed on. You've got homework to take care of, man.

EK: Honestly, I don't give a shit about homework right now. Bottom line—I can't go. Especially, not today. I'm waiting for someone.

TK: Then cancel. You know Mom's got her big church thing tonight, and Dad works late so you're stuck with me until after the meet. End of discussion.

EK: I can't, Tanner.

TK: You don't have a choice.

EK: Where's this thing?

TK: San Clemente.

EK: Too far. Not happening. You don't get it.

TK: There's nothing to "get", Elias. We're leaving in 10 minutes. I'll see you in the car.

New Text Message (DRAFT) to Lacey Sanders at 3:06 PM:

EK: Hey, so, Tanner's got a swim meet today...and he's kinda forcing me to leave with him now so I don't think I'll be able to see you at practice. If it wasn't for that, you know I'd be there, right? Anyway, I'll try you again when I—

Message not sent.

New Text Message to Mom at 3:07 PM

EK: ¿Mama, estás ocupado? Necesito su ayuda. (Mom are you busy? I need your help.)

Mom: ¿Que necesitas, mijo? (What do you need, honey?)

EK: How late does your volunteer thing at the homeless shelter run tonight?

Mom: No estoy seguro. Hay mucha gente aquí. Por qué? (I'm not sure. Lots of people are here. Why?)

EK: No importa. Pásalo bien esta noche. (Nevermind. Have a good time tonight.)

Mom: Seguro? ¿Todo bien? (Are you sure? Is everything okay?)

EK: Yeah, I'm fine. I just was gonna see if you could pick me up at school later so we could talk.

Mom: Mijo, I wish I could. But it's better if you go with your brother. It's a school night, and I don't want you waiting around campus for me when your brother can have you home earlier.

EK: Sí, lo sé. (Yeah, I know).Forget I asked, okay? I'll see you when you get home.

Mom: Eli, are you sure you're alright?

EK: Yeah. Anyway, I'll let you get back to volunteering. Hasta luego.

Mom: Te amo <3

***

New Text Message (DRAFT) to Josh at 3:10 PM

EK: Hey, man. I know it's been a while and you can ignore this if you want, but...are you still around school? If you're here, do you think I could grab a ride home when you're done with football practice? I've got a thing to take care of this afternoon so I kinda need to hang around campus until six. Would that be cool? Would you even respond if I sent this to you?

Message not sent.

Incoming call from Tanner King at 3:19 PM

TK: You better be on your way.

EK: Can you please just go without me?

TK: You already know the answer to that.

EK: Tanner, look, I really, really need to be here. I made a huge mistake today, and I have to fix it before I leave or—

Incoming call from Lacey Sanders at 3:22 PM.

EK: Sorry, Tan. I gotta take another call.

TK: Elias!

EK: Just go without me!

Call to Lacey Sanders Connected at 3:23PM:

EK: Hey Lace. Thanks for calling me back I was worried that you—

LS: Elias, I can't talk for very long.

EK: Okay, um, then do you wanna meet up later or call me when you have more time?

LS: I don't think that's a good idea right now.

EK: What? Why?

LS: It's just...after everything that happened today, I think that maybe we should step back from things for a little while.

EK: What do you mean step back?

LS: It's just—a lot, Elias. All of this. Everything's gotten a lot more complicated than I thought it would.

EK: I know. Today was crazy messed up, but it doesn't have to be. If we can just sit down and talk about everything, we can get past this.

LS: But what if I can't?

EK: Lacey—

LS: You said on the phone earlier that I wasn't acting like myself at lunch, but what about you? I felt like I was watching some other version of you performing for an audience.

EK: Lacey, listen, I didn't mean any of what I said. I tried to explain that to you on the phone—

LS: But you humiliated me in front of everyone, Elias. How is that an accident? How can you not mean to take things that far?

EK: I'm sorry, okay? How many times do I have to say "I'm sorry" for you to understand?

LS: I understand, but I feel like I don't know you.

EK: Then talk to me. Get to know me. Don't avoid me like you have been all day. The only reason why any of this happened is because I couldn't find you all morning.

LS: That's because I didn't want you to.

EK: What are you talking about?

LS: When I was waiting for you in the bathroom, I ran into someone. Someone who said she knew you. And, at first I didn't wanna believe that she did—

EK: What was her name?

LS: —but she had pictures. Of you and her messing around at some homecoming house party. You were drunk and all over her, and you looked like a completely different person, and I just—

EK: Tell me her name, Lacey.

LS: —broke down. I can't stop seeing you with her. I—

EK: Lacey! Please just tell me who she is!

LS: It doesn't matter who she is! Or how many other girls there are or how many pictures of you people have. I can't do this, Elias. I can't compete with a school full of people who are just like her.

EK: But—I thought you were okay with this. With me. I have a reputation that I regret more than you know, Lace, but that doesn't change how I feel about you. I thought you understood that.

LS: I'm trying to—but it's hard, Eli. Things that might be easy for other people aren't as easy for me.

EK: What do you mean?

LK: Nothing. Forget it. Let's just accept that we don't know each other as well as we should.

EK: So give me a chance to. Look, I know about secrets and screw ups and family problems better than anybody else. I know what it's like not to want anyone to look into your life too closely. That's why I never asked you about your old school or who you were before you came here. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want me to know. I'm okay with you not being okay all the time. I don't need you to be perfect, Lacey. Perfection isn't what I signed up for. I signed up for you. As you are. But I guess that's where we're different.

LS: That's not fair, Elias.

EK: But it's true. I'm okay with you, but you're not okay with me. That's what you're saying, right? I mess up once and it's over? Just like that?

LS: That's not it. You just don't understand everything that's going on with me. I'm a mess, Eli. I was a mess when I met you, and I shouldn't have pretended that I wasn't just because—

EK: Because what?

LS: Because I liked you. Because I still do. But I have to stop.

EK: Why? Because of what I did today at lunch? I can fix that situation, Lace. I just need time.

LS: Why do you keep saying that?

EK: What?

LS: That you'll 'fix' things like everything and everyone has a solution? This situation isn't something you can fix.

EK: Give me one reason why not.

LS: Because I'm the situation!

EK: So what? We get one date and then that's it? You're done?

LS: Eli—

EK: Are you serious right now?

LS: I don't know how to say it so you'll understand.

EK: I don't, okay?! I'm trying, but I don't get you right now. You want the truth, Lacey? Here it is. I want you. I've never wanted anybody else the way I want you. I liked you before I even knew your name. I liked your voice, your laugh, your vibe, everything. You lit up the whole world with that smile the first day I saw you, and I've been chasing you ever since—

LS: Elias, please.

EK: —and I don't care what pictures you saw because everything up until you was a mistake. I have never let anyone into my house before. I've never told anyone about my family situation until you. I trust you, Lacey. And you blew me away when you trusted me enough to open up about your Mom and the way people treated you back at Cardinal. That's why I know I messed up today. I don't want you to have to put up with the same bullshit at Mission Bay—

LS: Then why did you humiliate me like that? Why would you make me look anything like the girl who's actually responsible for all of—

EK: What girl? Did someone say something to you? Is that why you're doing this?

LS: It doesn't matter.

EK: Everything matters, Lacey. Especially the things you're not telling me.

LS: Then, I'll tell you why I called, Elias.

EK: Please, do.

LS: Because I have to break up with you.

EK: I-is that your decision or someone else's?

LS: Just hang up. Please.

EK: Answer the question, Lacey. You owe me that much. Who made you do this?

LS: Alguien que me escuche. (Someone who's listening.)

Call Ended at 3:33 PM.

***

Thank you guys so much for reading/listening you guys! Haha we hope we didn't leave you too on edge this week :P. Next update should be next weekend unless stated otherwise! 

#RealTalkQuestionoftheWeek

1. What do you think about Lacey's decision? Would you have done the same if you were in her position?

2. How do you think Elias will take the sudden break-up?