REMEMBERING YOU

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Warning: Mild depictions of war and associated violence. PTSD.

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"That all this time I've been afraid,"

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Jack bolted up in a cold sweat, sucking in breaths of stale oxygen as the frigid air stung his skin. Closing his eyes, he waited for Ratchet's screams to fade from his ears and for Megatron's laughter to cease echoing in his head.

    Like many nights, he looked over to see if his mother was disturbed by the sudden movement. June slept in her own bunk, her quiet breaths smooth and undisturbed. On his other side was Miko, and she was not bothered either. Even Rafael, who was above him, remained quiet.

    With a deep breath he leaned forward, resting his forehead on his knees as he tried to slow his beating heart. A phantom pain throbbed on his cheek, across the scar which served as his daily reminder; the reminder that he played a role in all of this. He was the reason he and the rest of Jasper, Nevada lived in a military bunker. Not just the rest of his town, though - the whole world had to scurry into bunkers and hideouts to avoid the Decepticons.

    His mind racing, the young man finally threw his covers back and slid out of the bed, quietly walking across the concrete floor to one of the four doors leading out of the sleeping quarters. He could still hear some residents up and moving, but he ignored them just as much as they ignored him. Curfew was three hours ago; yet since everyone knew everybody, none of the Jasper civilians were going to say anything.

    Stepping out into the locker room he ghosted to his own, quickly punching in the combination and grabbing his favorite grey shirt, slipping it on before exiting that room as well. Quiet chatter greeted him in the main center of the Autobot base, a few third-shift soldiers conversing as they watched the monitors for any new activity. One of them glanced over, giving Jack a small salute before returning his attention to his buddy. Jack returned it, shuffling up the stairs towards the catwalk.

    "You've ceased recharge again," Starscream's throaty voice greeted him, the Seeker bathed in the green light of the monitors. As always, the air commander stood tall with erect wings, his weasel optics flickering over each data byte with careful consideration.

    "And you have yet to even start," Jack quipped back, checking his watch to see the 0241 time glaring back at him. Starscream hardly spared him a glance, the platform elevating Jack so that they were essentially face-to-face. "But I've been having nightmares again."

    This was not news to the former Decepticon. "Despite scoring a major victory against the offensive?"

    The offensive. Starscream still could not quite separate himself from the Decepticon cause. Even though scratch marks were all that remained on his chest and wing armor from where he had ripped the emblem off, a shadow of what had once been there still revealed itself in the dim lighting. Jack, like everyone else, was apprehensive of the Seeker's help, they had to take what they could get. Starscream was no stranger to such a concept.

    Jack leaned against the railing. "PTSD doesn't work like that."

    "I never said it did," Starscream refocused on the human. "Have you spoken with your carrier? Or perhaps one of those . . . psychos?"

    "Psychologist. Counselor really," Jack corrected. "And I did - not today though. I didn't have an episode until just ten minutes ago."

    "Humans. That is one downside to having a processor made of flesh, blood, and chemicals," he scoffed. "Cybertronians can just delete data."

    "Would you, though?" Jack questioned. "If you had the option, would you 'just delete data?'"

    There was a pause, Starscream taking his question into consideration. Three years was not long for a creature like a Cybertronian, but during that time Jack did note they had warmed up to one another. Starscream, of course, still could not quite grasp the complexities of the human race, and he still underestimated their abilities many times, but to see the impressed look on his face was worth it. He was learning.

    "No, I suppose I wouldn't," he admitted, claws pressing on  a few buttons as he refocused on the monitors. "I haven't," he further divulged. "Though it has crossed my processor multiple times."

    "I wouldn't blame you," Jack shrugged, looking at the monitor as well. The Cybertronian symbols danced across his eyes, the young man still slow at interpreting what each one meant. It did not help that Starscream frequently bounced between the Autobot and Decepticon dialects for more direct and meaningful translations. A helpful tactic, but it gave Jack and the other humans a headache.

    After a moment, Starscream continued the conversation. "Are your nightmares always the same?"

    Jack chewed the inside of his cheek. "Not exactly, but they have the same content. Ratchet, Megatron . . . and screaming."

    He closed his eyes, feeling his heart rate accelerate just at the thought of recalling the dream. The terrible sound of metal tearing metal, inhuman screeches threatening to burst his eardrums while silver claws lashed out -

    "Breathe, human," Starscream's sharp command broke through his thoughts. "Your flesh is turning blue."

    Jack released the breath he did not realize he was holding, gasping in another large inhalation. Leaning against the railing he felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. The last thing he wanted was to have some kind of panic attack in front of Starscream. The Air Commander would surely laugh at him.

    "I suppose I should apologize for asking," Starscream mused. "As recalling this brings you distress."

    "It's fine," Jack muttered, closing his eyes again and taking another deep breath before straightening. "Is there anything I can do? I don't think I'll be able to sleep for a few more hours."

    There probably was not anything for him, but Starscream did stop and try to think of something. Jack only assumed he did so in order to get the human to stop bothering him.

    "The soldier Epps and his team will be returning soon from patrol," Starscream finally decided. "Gather your equipment and join them once they report in."

    Jack nodded, giving the slightly bemused robot a salute. "Yes sir," he said, turning on his heel back towards the stairs.

    Starscream watched him go, returning to gazing at his monitors. Jack's face was darkened and haggard, the human much more exhausted than his own body knew, however once his mind stilled then he would sleep better. It was unfortunate that someone as young as he was plagued with nightmares and demons; soldiers twice his age combated similar symptoms with even less successful results, which only made his pain that much more unbearable to watch.

    He understood why the woman, June, was reluctant to let her son go into combat and become a soldier. The boy had already been through enough. But Jack insisted it was what he wanted, what he needed, and the Seeker could not deny that the youngling normally came back looking much better after a successful mission. But he knew the truth: Jack just wanted to seek revenge. Like his guardian, he was focused on seeking recompense for her unfair death - unlike her, however, he had yet to realize that revenge would not bring her back.

    Though he tried not to, Starscream did worry just a little bit for the young man. After Megatron was terminated, what would he do then? Starscream, at the very least, had a purpose - liberate Cybertron and Earth from Megatron's tyranny. Jack . . . did not.

    And that was concerning.

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    "Pilot Blue, are you seeing what I'm seeing, over?"

    "Three bogeys," Sierra answered, her eyes flickering to the radar screen in her aircraft before refocusing on the night air in front of them. She cursed softly. "This area is supposed to be secure. And it's night time. It might be a trap, over."

    "Agreed. They are also in a V-formation. I'm radioing this in to the Air Commander. Keep an eye out, over."

    "Roger, over."

    Keeping the F-22 raptor coasting along, Sierra waited patiently for her partner to contact Starscream and tell him what was going on. They were suppose to radio in their position in fifteen minutes anyways, so while the situation itself was not ideal, the timing was perhaps perfect. Listening in on the radio transmission, her grip on her joystick tightened when he cursed.

    "Transmission is blocked. Blue, I think we've been had, over!"

    As if on cue, a Predator-style drone flew past them, blasting between the pair bordering at Mach 1 speeds. Sierra cursed aloud in tandem with her partner as six planes came into view, their energon canons glowing bright as they took aim.

    Six Vehicons, but only three readings?

    "It's Soundwave!" She shouted, jerking her joystick and nearly turning herself vertical, the red energon bolts passing mere inches from the underbelly of her jet. Screaming wind and a person filled her ears, Sierra barely registering what happened as the rush of adrenaline filled her veins. "Osiris, do you copy? Osiris!"

    The line was dead, only bursts of static answering her. Her jet shuddered as its shielding was assaulted, the reader dropping rapidly as the high-energy blasts nearly overwhelmed it immediately. Reflexively she rolled, resisting the G's as she tried to spot the black and purple jets in the night sky. Her own paint was dull, but it was still silver - and the full moon was out. Compared to the rest of the jets, she was a beacon of light.

    As she rolled she glimpsed a bright orange thing plummeting to the ground, realizing what she was looking at - the remnants of Osiris' fighter.

    Quickly she accelerated, eyeing her fuel gauge. Wheeljack had made adjustments to each military jet he got his servos on, upgrading them to run on a mixture of fuel and energon. Once he perfected the ratio, jets could stay airborne for almost three times as long; but, it was with a catch. The engines themselves burned the fuel faster than the energon, and reaching supersonic speeds only hastened that process. If the fuel was too low, her plane would stall and drop from the sky like a rock; and if she was going at Mach 2, the max capability of the F-22 Raptor, she was essentially writing her own death sentence.

    But she had to get out of there.

    As she accelerated she fumbled with her radio, switching channels.

    "This is the NEST air command, identify yoursel-"

    "I don't have time for that," she snapped, glancing back as red bolts flew past her and towards the dark horizon. "I have six Vehicons, and Soundwave is flying around here somewhere, that are on my aft. Osiris is already down, over!"

    She could hear the robotic organism's confusion, Starscream not having anticipated this type of call. "That is a secured airspace. Why did the ground units not warn us of this?"

    "I don't -" she stopped. "Wait. I shouldn't be able to talk to you, over."

    "What do you mean?"

    "Osiris tried calling earlier and couldn't get through, over."

    There was a pause, and she was scared that the transmission had suddenly cut out. She cursed as the Vehicons kept getting closer, and she pushed her F-22 to go faster. She spun again as one attempted to blast into her, the woman finally engaging her weapons. Arming her canons, she jerked her plane to a near-stop, letting the Vehicons fly past her before she opened fire.

    Blue energon bolts fired back at the Vehicons, the spray moving as she adjusted the nose and aimed as best as she could. The armored titan exploded within a few hits, now leaving only five for her to deal with. Soundwave's absence bothered her, but at the moment she just wanted to survive.

    "They want you to go home," Starscream deduced over the intercom. "And perhaps lead them to a viable target. Go to outpost Uniform-Tango 4-0-8-1-0-9, I will have them send reinforcements."

    "Roge-" Sierra screamed as something slammed into the top her plane, her reflexes reactively barrel-rolling the jet. Its weight was immediately compromised by whatever had latched onto her, the woman fighting her joystick and upping the fuel consumption to compensate. She could practically see the fuel gauge dropping, one more thing to add to her ever-growing list of terror.

    The young woman had never seen herself as a pilot. But after the Decepticons attacked, the United States and its neighbors scrambled for military recruits. And when Jasper, little old Jasper Nevada of all places, became the central fortress for those monsters, she realized just how much bigger the small town had played in this conflict.

    The government did not bother trying to hide the Cybertronians from them, and Sierra quickly learned that Jack Darby, Miko Nakadai, and Rafael Esquivel had all been key players in the conflict on Earth. She was shocked, to say the least, since two of the three were the most unassuming people she had ever met. And after realizing Jack, who she could not help but admit she had a tiny crush on, had been a part of it, she decided she would not turn away from this.

    Her flying skills came rather naturally, impressing even the advanced Air Commander Starscream - a former Decepticon she still had no idea how she felt about. He was apparently a renowned backstabber, and did go on for far too long about how he could not wait for the day to end Megatron. The Big Bad. But just like everyone else, she had to admit he was invaluable. An incredibly intelligent and efficient tactician, the Seeker would more than happily partake in the air battles that occurred across the States. And from that, he and Sierra had actually begun a strange friendship - they would banter in the air as they performed all sorts of dangerous, exhilarating maneuvers, and through that he taught her how to be a true ruler over the air.

    Piloting had not been her plan, but she had clearly been born for it.

    Straightening the Raptor she looked up, screaming again when her own reflection gazed back at her. Balanced evenly on both wings, Soundwave was hunched over her plane and gazing into the cockpit, his lifeless visor sending chills down her spine.

    "What is it? Blue, what has happened?" Starscream demanded.

    The plane jerked and shuddered as Soundwave deployed his tentacles, the communications officer plunging them into the plane. Sierra could already tell what was happening when the plane straightened and calmed from its tumultuous state, the Decepticon plugged into its command center like a mind-controlling parasite.

    "He's jacking into the plane," she cursed. "Starscream, he's going to download everything from the black box if he isn't stopped!"

    Without further elaboration she ripped her headset off and reached towards her feet, her gloved fingers wrapping around the .45 and unholstering it. Taking a breath, she looked at the altimeter and grimaced. She needed to drop almost 30,000 feet if she did not want to immediately kill herself from opening the cockpit - and have a chance of surviving once she deployed her parachute.

    And she needed to slow the plane down.

    How Soundwave was controlling the plane was all guesswork, but she had to figure out a way to disable everything if she wanted this plan to work. Even if it meant dropping like a rock out of the sky.

    Gripping her pistol, the young woman prepared to just try, when a swirling portal opened before her plane. Soundwave also looked up, not having generated the Groundbridge, the communications officer greeted by bright red energon bolts that flew past his helm.

    Starscream burst through in his alternate form, the Air Commander blasting past the pair as he spun, opening fire on the Vehicons. The distraction let Sierra grip her joystick and regain some control, shoving it forward and forcing the nose to point to the ground. The Raptor shuddered as it started to fight two different commands, the fuel gauge now dropping rapidly.

    The dance in the air lasted only thirty seconds maximum, but for Starscream it was far too long. Soundwave had already focused his attention on the traitor rather than his original target, but he was still unsure whether to engage or remain fighting for access to the plane's black box. What was more frustrating was the human that fought him, struggling to drop the plane from the sky. A rather interesting choice against the natural instinct to get away - as the ground offered no cover or solace - however, that just meant the human had a plan.

    Opening fire on Sierra's jet meant risking the chance of hitting her, however the former Decepticon knew his options were limited. Every attempt to contact her ended with radio silence. He did not know if Soundwave was cutting him off, or if Sierra was incapacitated. Regardless, he followed the jet as it dropped thousands of feet from the air, the wind whipping across his frame violently.

    Soundwave finally deployed Laserbeak, the drone flying towards Starscream and opening fire. The Seeker coasted to the side, spinning to avoid the shots. Laserbeak was more of an annoyance than anything, but it presented just one more thing that Starscream had to worry about. The list was growing, and he had no idea if Sierra was actually being helpful in the cockpit.

    The human girl was keeping a close eye on her altimeter, losing altitude rapidly, but hardly rapid enough. Finally, she looked over at the fuel gauge and cursed. Grabbing her radio she shoved one of the headphones against her ear, speaking into the microphone.

    "Starscream, this jet is about to blow. I'm gonna have to punch out unless I want to be incinerated."

    "Soundwave is blocking your exit," he snarled, Sierra able to hear what sounded suspiciously like shots in the background. "Doing that will just get you killed!"

    She looked up, the Decepticon's visor tilted towards the air battle behind them, his screen lit up as he began downloading various forms of information. They were out of time.

    "Well, I gotta do something," she said, throwing the radio back on the ground.

    "Sierra!"

    Ignoring his shrieks as he tried to give her orders, the pilot began to override all automated systems the Raptor would allow, leaving her ejection seat for dead last. Pointing the muzzle of her .45 at the window, she paused. The last thing she wanted was the thing to ricochet and kill her.

    Grimacing she looked around, ignoring the scream of the alarm as her fuel gauge was finally millimeters away from zero. Grabbing her small emergency hammer she slammed it into the glass once, twice, the material shattering and immediately whipping up a storm in her cabin. Shielding her face she shut her mouth, refusing to scream for fear of getting glass cuts. Blindly she pointed her gun up, and opened fire.

    Soundwave jerked as he was assaulted from the compromised fighter jet, jerking his helm just in time to receive a bullet to the visor, cracking it. An inhuman hiss escaped his vocalizers, his hidden optics meeting the green of the fighter pilot. She grit her teeth at him, her face sporting cuts as glass shards continued to whip around her cabin, and she took aim again.

    The communications officer moved back to avoid getting hit, shifting his weight accordingly so that the F-22 did not begin an insane spin. He was so close to downloading the black box information, he just needed less than a klik . . .

    Sierra quickly moved to eject her seat, her gut dropping to her toes when the seat did not respond. Counting to five she tried again, then screamed in frustration, anger, and fear as it failed to respond the second time. Tears in her eyes she unbuckled herself, a huge no no that she was going to promptly ignore if it meant getting out of this mess. Yanking the emergency 'chute pack from its place she strapped it on, gripping the hammer once more and breaking the rest of the glass.

    As she poised to jump, the plane exploded around her.

    Even Starscream heard the screech of utter pain and agony as the F-22 burst into blue and orange flames, Soundwave's tentacles receiving the brunt of the blast that burst across his chest plates, scorching him. The Decepticon pushed off from the jet and transformed, the sequence quenching most of the flames as the rest were put out by the sheer volume of wind at this altitude. Laserbeak ceased its pursuit of Starscream as Soundwave blasted away, his drone twittering whilst it followed.

    Starscream relished the victory only for a moment before he realized he had not seen Sierra eject, the Seeker now pursuing the flaming wreckage for any sight of the pilot. His bio scanners found her falling straight towards the Earth, the scream ripped from her throat as she plummeted. He saw her wide eyes as she reached out for him, her cord gripped in her hand and ripped from her backpack.

    The Seeker focused his energon input into his engine, blasting forward toward her. Transforming he reached out for her, his claws grasping thin air. With a frustrated growl he twisting and streamlined his body, and finally he latched onto her.

    Curling in on himself Starscream transformed, shifting around the distressed pilot and sitting her on his seat, feeling her slam against him.

    Sierra sucked in a breath, gasping and suddenly bursting into tears. Her lungs burned from falling at the great height, the stress and adrenaline from her helplessness catching up to her. It never had truly occurred to Sierra that she was at the mercy of gravity, and it terrified her.

    "You're alright. I've got you," Starscream's gravelly voice was carefully gentle, his scanners indicating that she was stressed, noting the extensive fire damage to her right side. That was more of the human medic's expertise, however he could tell she had yet to fully process her injuries - that, or her pain receptors had been burned away.

    After a moment he contacted Area 51, requesting a Groundbridge.

    Sierra sniffed and wiped at her eyes, her body shaking slightly.

    "Why . . . why would they do that?" She asked. "Attack us? In the middle of the night, in airspace that is ours?"

    Starscream paused as he flew through the Groundbridge, arriving in Area 51's airspace and preparing his descent. There were many reasons why Soundwave would perform a pointed attack like that, none of which made much sense - except one.

    "Megatron is returning to Earth," he said, feeling her tense in his seat. "And he is going to launch an attack on our forces; but first, he needs to find our base. He has grown tired of the human resistance. And I am sure he is going to attempt to kill me in the process."