Mare

All I ever wanted was the world, but you made me drink poison. I let it make my heart black as night and now all I bleed are memories. 

Chapter Music: Root and Stem

The report came the next day. The Scarlet Guard had invaded, taking over our southern defenses through the night. Across the war council table, Julian eyes me as I hear the news. They scream unspoken accusations.

I'm not sure what I expected. I knew they wouldn't take my blow laying down. But a part of me had hoped it would be different. Still something in my marrow yearns for what this means, they are coming for me.

"Norta declares war on the Scarlet Guard and her allies," I say, looking towards Evangeline, "Announce our allegiance to the Lakelander nation. Today, we enter war." From across the table, Julian looks at his hands, slowly shaking his head.

"Do you have something to say, Julian?" I ask, driving coldness into my tone. I see Wren glance to me, then to Julian, and back again.

He has the spine to meet my gaze, "The world you wish to build does not happen in a single lifetime. You want to erase a millenniums worth of indifference towards the Reds. War is a slippery slope, how do we ensure the world you wish to build stays?"

"You want to know who holds the Nortan throne when I'm dead. Is that it?" He wants your replacement.

"You need an heir, Mare. Someone who will protect your goals if you die." If, a precarious word. It can lead to so many things. Victory or destruction, all hanging on by a thread of ifs. I am not tied to that string like everyone else. I am destined for greatness, ifs do not apply.

"I don't need an heir, Maven didn't have one. To have an heir is to have a target on my back. I already have too many of those." I may have the crown, but I am alone in a pit of vipers. Friends are in short supply these days.

"He didn't need one. He had his Marandus relatives who were next in line for the throne if the Calore line failed." You would know plenty on the Marandus' line of succession, wouldn't you?

"Why do you want me to declare an heir now? We've been in war for months before the Lakelander alliance. Why now?" Because he wants to betray you, the voices say.

"You and I both know that war wasn't a threat to you," Julian says. It was a beautiful illusion, a charade. To make everyone look in front of them while their true enemy stood right behind them. I feel the heat in my face rise at the thought of how much blood had been spilled for the Silvers.

"Julian," Wren says, looking towards me, "has a point. If you die, they will elect themselves a silver king. Any progress you have made here will be gone. An heir will ensure the reds stay free."

"You've both been thinking of my death quite a bit, it seems," I walk away from the table, to the windows that look out on the city. From up here I feel like one of Iris' gods. Do all gods feel so lonely? "I will not choose an heir until the Scarlet Guard is dissolved."

"Then what happens if you die in this war you have started?" I turn to meet his glare, despite it his voice remains calm and slow, "What happens to the millions of reds? Will you let them slide back into oppression at the hands of a Nortan Silver king?"

"There will never again be a Silver king upon this throne," I say, squeezing my eyes shut against his burning stare. You want me gone, dead. Why have you betrayed me like the rest?

"Are you supposed to rule that in your grave, Mare?" I turn back to the cityscape. Who could protect this? My legacy, my destiny. A Red could never survive here in court. I have, but I was trained to stand with them before I had to stand against them. A Silver wouldn't last either, they would yield to the nobles like every ruler has before me. I need someone different...and stronger than both. Julian's words from a lesson long ago sing in my mind, You are Red and Silver, and stronger than both. I need someone like me. I need a Newblood heir. I turn my back on the city of Archeon, turning to look at the council I once deemed as family.

"My heir must be someone the Silvers cannot replace me with, and someone the Scarlet Guard cannot harm. One that understands why they must create change, but not be poisoned by silver arrogance. A ruler who can intimidate the high houses, and gain the sympathy of the Reds."

Evangeline snorts from her chair, "So we need another Mare Barrow."

"We need a Newblood Barrow," I correct. She looks at me, eyebrows scrunched together.

"You're the only Newblood Barrow left?" I smile at her and shake my head.

"On this day I declare my niece, Clara of House Barrow as my heir to the Nortan throne upon my death."

"She's just a baby," Wren gasps.

"And is being raised amongst Nortan's enemies," Evangeline adds.

"She is the only possible heir who will be untouchable in the eyes of the Guard, being General Farley's daughter. She'll be so far out of reach, my Silver enemies will never have the chance to poison her against me," I say. And she'll create a legacy. One Shade would be proud of.

"If you were to drop dead tomorrow," Evangeline argues, "we would never be able to get her here fast enough before a mutiny would break out."

"I'm too busy to die tomorrow, Evangeline. Clara will grow up with my family in the Guard. Let her grow some red roots. When the Guard surrenders to us, she will be raised in court. Trained to be the queen Norta needs."

"And if the Guard doesn't surrender?" Evangeline asks.

"Then we will all be dead and an heir, unneeded. The Guard will surrender, in time. They might have won a few meaningless battles, but we will win the war."

"And you would be okay with tearing a daughter away from her mother?" Julian asks. He means to play on my weaknesses, I'm sure. I smile in response..

"Wren, Evangeline. Can you ask Iris to the throne room for me?" I keep my eyes on Julian, I barely see Wren and Evangeline nod or the door close behind them, "I wasn't the one wanting an heir, Julian."

"What do you want then?" He asks, eyes following me as I pace through the room. What did I want? I had everything a Red could ask for. Freedom, power. Two sides to the same coin really. Without one, you lose the other and they both taste so sweet.

"Maven told me something interesting the other day," I say, ignoring his question.

"You still visit him? I had thought-"

"Apparently you do too."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I pull the folded yellow paper out of my pocket and slide it across the table towards him. He takes it and I watch as his reads pour over the text. His face pales into a ghostly white. "This isn't what it-"

"I swear to protect you and advise you till the end of my time," I murmur his oath back to him, before taking the paper back and slipping it back into my pocket, "I have been betrayed by so many, but I never thought it would be by you. My protector, my light. You've betrayed me, Julian Jacos."

"Mare, I haven't-"

"What were you plotting with House Marandus?" He reels away from me, shaking his head.

"House Marandus murdered my sister, do you really think I would have helped them?" I can see the desperation rising in his eyes, but he keeps his voice carefully calm, "I was protecting you Mare."

"From what? I see the hesitation in him, but I press harder. Hard enough until he breaks.

"They were planning a coup." He says, I release, staring at him in my growing fury. Like him, I control my voice.

"You hid a coup that could have destroyed me?" I sit down next to him, hands trembling.

"Wren and I took care of it. We would have never-"

"Wren helped you keep a secret that could have ended with my death."

"Mare, you haven't been right. We were protecting you."

"Protecting me," I murmur, "would have meant telling me I had traitors in my court."

"Mare, they never acted on the coup. They committed no crime. Show mercy, Mare. Do not become what you have struggled to defeat. Forgive them." I see the reason behind his words. Revenge is a never ending wheel. You kill them, they hit back, you hit harder. On and on it spins. I could end it. Break it if I wanted, if I dared.

Or it could break me. I think that's what Julian fears. I see it in his eyes, the love he has for me. I'm a ghost to him in many ways. A sigil of his sister and the future he yearns to build for Norta. Love is a weapon to yield, I hear Elara's words through the darkness. We all have darkness inside of us, some of us put on a good face. Others, well. They wear it well.

"I forgive you," I say, offering a small smile, "You were only trying to protect me. They have my mercy." Julian smiles at me, taking my hand. He hasn't looked at me like this in a long time. I doubt he will ever again. Has he forgotten already I murdered a royal line, leaving only I chose alive? I let myself have this last moment before reality sets in.

I stand up, and leave towards the door. He already knows where I'm going. To Iris. For what reason, he can only guess. He lets me leave without a word, leaving me to my voices. The war rooms aren't far off from the throne room. It's easy to slip in through a side door before Iris arrives. On its podium, sits the throne.

I walk slowly up the steps, feeling the trail of my cloak and the sound of my heel clicking on stone. It echoes across the empty hall, telling the ghosts they are no longer alone. I lay my hand on the arm of the throne. Elara's voice rises in the hall, Nothing will hurt you, little lightning girl. She saw what I could be at Corros, the night my brother was murdered by Ptolemus Samos. Who I could become. I intend for her to be right. Behind me, the doors open.

I listen as the footsteps draw closer. The sound morphs into a choir. I keep my back to her, letting the echoes of voices wash over me like a flood, threatening to drown me in them. Then they stop, and I turn to look at the Lakelander queen.

"What is it Mare?" 

"Tell me, do you know how to kill a weed?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Do you know how to kill a weed?"

"You pull it out, root and stem." I smile at her, nodding as I tangle my fingers together.

"Root and stem indeed."