03:58 am.

the party was still going strong; music was blaring loudly, i was thoroughly sweaty from dancing with perfect strangers all night and my head was throbbing mercilessly from everything i'd consumed earlier that evening. to be frank, i felt like death reincarnated.

04:05 am.

i swallowed my last shot, threw away the empty plastic cup and wiped the remnants of alcohol off my mouth. i yawned twice before eventually bending down to pick up my phone from my purse. i squinted at the screen; sighing once i saw what the time actually was, and i realized it was probably a good idea to head home as soon as possible.

04:06 am.

i decided to go look for you; we'd already been there for roughly six hours, after all. i was sure you'd be as tired as i was by then.

04:11 am.

by 04:10 i'd checked every accessible room for you; every stoner crowd, every bathroom, every packed little space in the entire apartment. i still couldn't find you anywhere. i was starting to get a little worried; my anxiety slowly kicking in, and so i sat back down on the couch and buried my head in my hands. i considered calling my best friend; asking her to come and pick me up, but i knew it only would've made you angry. i was not up for another argument that day.

04:14 am.

i stepped out into the cold october air; right about giving up on finding you at all, and was just about to call a cab when i heard sounds coming from inside the garage. as drunkenly curious as i was; i opened the door, and i witnessed something i'd never be able to forget.

04:15 am.

your pants were pulled all the way down to your ankles, and the shirt i'd bought for your birthday the year before was thrown on the ground in front of me. a pair of black heels, as well as a pair of ripped lace panties, had been sloppily discarded all over the concrete floor – along with the rest of your dignity. the girl's red cocktail dress had been pulled up well above her waist; your left hand gripping her dark hair tightly, as you were fucking her ferociously against the wall.

04:16 am.

i felt like throwing up all of my intestines, but i was in shock. tears were starting to form in my eyes and i was unable to move or conjure any sounds at all. i could only stand and watch as you kept moving in and out of her relentlessly. she was moaning loudly and you were grunting wildly and she kept calling out your name so passionately and she was digging her polished nails into your bare back and you pushed harder and harder and harder into her while all i wanted to do was scream, but i couldn't find my voice.

04:17 am.

you finally put her down, kissed her on her scarlet lips and told her she was the best you'd ever had. you pulled your underwear and jeans back up with a lazy smile on your face while she readjusted her dress, but still neither of you noticed me standing by the door like a lifeless statue; taking it all in.

04:18 am.

you asked for her number (like you meant it), and i felt myself dying a little more on the inside. i only broke down and started sobbing once you'd leaned in towards her, again, and started tainting her neck with your cheating lips.

this time, i couldn't hold it in. this time, i was unable to stop.