Jungwon.

Nandito lang ako sa sala,buti nalang walang pasok ngayon kasi hindi ko alam ano magiging reaksiyon ko pag nakita ko si Jay hyung..

Wala din naman akong ganang pumasok sa school..

Wala lahat...

Parang gusto ko lang muna lumayo dito sa lugar na ito kahit ilang araw lang....

Kasi tuwing naalala ko si Jay hyung,nasasaktan ako..

Napaka tanga ko talaga....

Akalain mo yun? Naniwala pa ako na gusto niya talaga ako tapos the worse thing is,nagkagusto nadin ako sa kaniya..

Minsan gusto kong sisihin si Jay hyung! Kung bakit niya ginawa sakin yun? What did I do to him para gawin niya sakin to? Do I deserve this?

But I feel like deserve ko din naman to..

Bakit hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko?

Hindi ako nag ingat..

I just let my heart do whatever it wants..

And it wants Jay hyung...

I feel my eyes getting watery from my thoughts of Jay hyung..

Anne...

Ingatan mo siya Anne,kahit sinaktan ako niyan,I still care for him..

You might think I'm stupid to not get angry at Jay hyung pero hindi ko talaga magawang mainis kay Jay hyung..

I hate him!!

I hate his existence!!

I wish I didn't met him..

Pero deep inside,I know I don't hate Jay hyung..deep inside I know I'm glad I met Jay hyung...

Wtf is wrong with me?

I forced myself to hate Jay hyung but I couldn't...

Ang rupok mo Jungwon, sinaktan kana nga,nagpasalamat kapa kasi sinaktan ka..

Bobo mo Jungwon!

Love really does makes us do everything kahit na masaktan pa tayo...

Kamusta na kaya si Jay hyung?

I bet he's having the best day of his life right now?

Sana magtagal sila.Stay strong I thought bitterly.

Ugh won! Just forget about him! You're better off without him!

Forget.

About.

Him.

I might just be back on my old self, yung panahong wala pa si Jay hyung..yung wala akong pake sa lahat kundi aa grades ko lang...

"Wonie!" Sunoo snapped me back to reality..

I forgot, Sunoo is here..

"Hmm?" I hummed and gave him a small smile.

"ANONG INIISIP MO?! You were trying so hard not to cry just now!" He asked worriedly.

"was just missing those days" i replied bitterly.

"Don't tell me you're thinking about that jerk again?! Wonie don't think about him too much please, I don't want to see you sad anymore" it was Sunghoon hyung who said that.

"I can't help it hyung." i looked at the ground kasi baka maiyak ako pag titignan ko sila.

"Omo baby come here" Sunoo said but gasped when he realized what he just said.

I looked at him and gave him a sad smile.

Baby.

A part of me still wishes that I was his baby..

His real baby..

That he meant calling me baby..

But sadly it was just some of his lies..

To make me believe..

That he loved me..

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at umiyak na..

Wow im becoming emotional since I met Jay hyung..

I hate you hyung!

Why can't I hate you hyung?!

Both Sunoo and Sunghoon hyung panicked when they saw me crying again..

They both went to my side and comforted me..

You can't expect me to move on from him that easy..

It literally just happened yesterday..

It still fucking hurts..

I hiccuped and sobbed so hard in Sunghoon hyung's arms..

Jay hyung I hate you!

But I know I don't!

I hate myself..

Why can't I hate Jay hyung?!

He cause me so much pain and yet I'm still here,thankful that I met him..

I suddenly remembered the couple ring we had..

I looked at my finger..

And the ring was still there..

Guess I forgot throwing this yesterday.

I quickly got it and handed it to Sunoo.

He frowned at my actions first but then later realized that it was the ring that Jay hyung gave me..

"Do you want me to throw it for you?" Sunoo asked softly.

I just hummed, couldn't form a single word from crying so hard..

Sunghoon hyung just pat my back gently and whispered multiple "it's gonna be okay" "hyung is here" "shh you're gonna be okay"

Because I was crying so much, hindi kona namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako..

Nafeel ko lang na umakyat kami sa hagdan,Sunghoon hyung probably carried me to my room..

Hindi na ako naka react,I was so tired from crying too much..

Natulog lang ako..

I'm gonna be okay..

I will be okay..

They're here, that's what matters.

I don't need a Jay Park in my life..

Yes I don't..

Hmmmmm..

Good day! Dahil natapos na ako sa school works kaya maaga akong nag update hehehe enjoy~~|