jin: ok remember, we’re going to stay ON the boat this time. i’m looking at you vmin.
jimin: BUT I WANNA– wait did you just call us by our ship name?
jin: um well i– V HOW ARE YOU IN THE WATER ALREADY??? GET BACK ON THIS BOAT OR I’M TELLING YOUR FATHER
v: MOM I FOUND A TURTLE *holds up traumatized land turtle*
jin: OH MY GOD… NAMJOON DO SOMETHING
namjoon: *sitting in captains chair, making loud motor boat noises as he drives in circles*
jungkook: *sitting on namjoon’s lap eating cookies* WEEEEEEE
yoongi: i fucking hate all of you *lays down on the deck to take a nap*
jhope: *creeps up to yoongi*
yoongi: *doesn’t open his eyes* hoseok i swear to god i will strangle you with your own intestines if you don’t get the hell away from me
jhope: *lays down right next to yoongi*
yoongi: what did i just say
jhope: *strokes yoongi’s nose*
yoongi: WHAT ARE YOU–
jhope: *puts a finger to his lips* SHHH BB LET IT HAPPEN
namjoon: *swerving the boat* ARGG
jin: *sighs* this isn’t a fucking pirate ship
jimin: ugh mom tell dad to stop swerving so much, it’s making me… SICK *insert dope choreography*
yoongi: *trying to keep hoseok’s hands away from his face* isn’t it translated as dope though?
jimin: nah we translated it both ways bc it was funny watching the international ARMYs all confused and stuff
v: *back on boat* MOM I LOST THE TURTLE *cries*
jin: IN THE WATER???
v: YEAH
jin: V THAT WAS A LAND TURTLE YOU LITERALLY JUST KILLED IT
jimin: it’s ok bro, it wasn’t your fault
v: *wipes eyes* bro
vmin: *hugs*
jin: what– no, it was absolutely your fault v… you dropped it in the water
jimin: *death glare*
jin: … *backs away to namjoon aka “safety”*
jungkook: mom i wanna go home, i hate my brothers
yoongi: ME TOO KOOKIE ME TOO
jhope: *trying to kiss yoongi’s nose* LEMME SMOOCH YOU
namjoon: *crashes boat into random island and screams* LAND HOOOOOO
v: VACATION
jimin: *rips off shirt to go frolick on the beach*
jhope: *carries yoongi off the boat bridal style*
yoongi: *grits his teeth* put. me. down.
namjoon: this island is…
jin: deserted, probably dangerous, off the map?
namjoon: *tears up* a masterpiece. damn i’m good at finding the best family vacation spots
jungkook: *steps off boat*
jimin: *immediately clings to his leg*
jungkook: *sighs and keeps walking, dragging Jimin through the sand*
jin: What are we going to eat??? How are we going to live?? Does anyone know how to make a fire??? Namjoon, what are we going to–
jhope: NOBODY PANIC
yoongi: Oh no…
jhope: I WILL BE YOUR–
jimin: NO, STOP, DONT SAY IT *still clinging to jungkook*
jhope: *whispers* I am your hope
jimin: *groans*
namjoon: Oh hey where’s V
jin: oh so NOW you notice when your son is missing
v: *up in a coconut tree* IM A MONKEY
jungkook: yo hyung, throw me a coconut
v: why
jungkook: *eyes jimin’s head threateningly* just… cuz?
v: Kay! *throws jungkook a coconut*
jungkook: *aims it down at jimin’s head*
jin: *snatches the coconut away* PLS DONT KILL YOUR BROTHER RN I AM VERY STRESSED AS IT IS
namjoon: *meanwhile has already identified every species of bug, animal, plant, dirt etc on the island*
yoongi: …get me out
-later-
jimin: *sits next to jungkook by the fire*
jungkook: *scoots away*
jimin: *scoots closer*
jungkook: *scoots away*
jimin: *wraps his arms and legs around kookie to keep him from escaping*
jungkook: MOM HELP
jimin: mom said that I could sleep in your tent tonight *pets kookie’s hair*
jungkook: …i’m swimming home goodbye
v: look i caught a fish!
jin: I’m afraid to look….
namjoon: A fish? What kind of fi– WAIT WHERE DID YOU–
jin: THAT IS A CHILD, WHERE DID U FIND A CHILD ON THIS ISLAND
jhope: Listen, Taehyung can find children literally anywhere. It’s his super power.
namjoon: Oh yeah? And what’s yours?
jhope: *climbs up on a rock and begins to shout* MY SUPER POWER IS BEING YOUR–
yoongi: SO ANYWAY, i’m going to bed, goodnight.
v: Come on, fishy. We can sleep in uncle Yoongi’s tent.
yoongi: THE HELL U CAN
jungkook: HEY I HAVE AN IDEA. you can sleep in jimin’s tent and i will sleep outside where i have a better chance of survival.
jimin: but
jungkook: GREAT ITS SETTLED GOODNIGHT
namjoon: Don’t forget, everyone. I’m making breakfast tomorrow!!
jin: …Save us all…
-:-:-:-:-
cr. whatwae
shout out to @sinfullybangtan! she found this and it cracks me up hahaha just want to share this to all of you
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