you: jiiiiiiiiiiiiin~
         jeeeeeeeeeeannnnn

        JAY Z

pig: yes honey?

you: should i just change your name to jay z

pig: you can do that?

you: yes

          nO 

pig: darn.

you: ugh its so lonely without you

          sorta 

         i mean i do have someone to keep company

        they're just not here yet
       they exsist i mean i have a picture

pig: ARE YOU SEEING SOMEONE AND YOU'VE COME CLEAN 

        OR DID YOU SEND THE WRONG AND YOUR LIFE IS OVER

you: jin no its not like that

          just sad that you're not here with me 

         to see the news with me

pig:  i hate watching the news

you: i know you shouldn't be stressed

          but i really want you to know these news

pig: YOURE NOT DEAD ARE YOU

you: .

          yes jin. 

          im dead. 

pig: NOOOO MY HONEY. 
         WE DIDNT EVEN START A FAMILY YET

you: why did i marry an idiot. 

pig: A BEAUTIFUL IDIOT 

you: ok yo're right about one thing
         the other one not so much

pig: ARE YOU CALLING ME UGLY. 

you: jay z no, you're so beautiful 

         unicorns want you

pig: YES INDEED

         then DID YOU ADOPT A KID 

        DID YOU STEAL JOON'S KID?

       YOU KEPT COMPLAINING ABOTU HOW OUR KID WOULDN'T EVER BE THAT SMART

you: no i--

pig: YOU IDIOT WIFEY

         YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS WITH JOON'S WIFEY
        DON'T RUIN OUR REALTIONSHIP
       YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE NAMJOON

you: GODDAMN IT JIN

           IM FXCKING PREGNANT YOU GODDAMN PIECE OF SHXT. 

pig: lanGUAGE 

you: biTCH. 

pig: gasp

        no one has ever rejected my warning.
       wifey. 

       WAIT 

       HWAT

you: <insert baby ultrasound> 

pig: OH MY HOW BEAUTIFUL
         what is it

you: the baby you shitface

pig: THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING WHILE I WAS ON THE WORLD TOUR?

you: no you--

pig: i was happy that we have a kid

       but to think

you: YOUR FUCKING SUPER SPERMS GOT ME PREGGERS BOI 
          I KNEW I PREG BEFORE YA'LL LEFT BUT 
         i kinda forgot to twll you

pig: and you just remembered a month later

you: yes. 

pig: im 200% sure you're being serious .
         who's the idiot now

you: boi you thought/

pig: pd is calling us, 

        g2g honey 

you: but 

pig: BYE BABY

you: oh ok bye jay z

pig: i was talking to the fetus gurl

you: fuck you

pig: (;  

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author nim has risen from the blood sweat and tears of bangtan and the waiting room of an x-ray place in which a Chinese family was having a boba slurping party.

 (i dont mean to sound rude but DUDE I WANTED TO CHUCK THEIR STRAWS INTO THEIR EYES BECAUSE sTOP sluRPinG pleASE)

wonhae manhi manhi manhi 

want it money money money