😎 You see that graphic? Just a sneak peek. 😏

Okay. Warning. Read with precaution. This chapter is a long ride. Tighten your belts guys.

Now. *sips tea*
Enjoy!

Soon enough, the cake that Cole and Lily had made with huge dedication was placed in the centre of the room. It was a 3 levelled cake and I don't even know how they both made it. They had help but the whole cake thing was their division and the look of pure determination in Cole's eyes when he accepted the responsibility with as much dignity as his tiny body could hold, we didn't even meddle in their hard work. It was all them.

Stellan looked at the cake and the moment Cole said that he made it, Stellan scooped him in his arms, showering his plump cheeks with feather kisses. The sight was one to hold. 

Stel and Cole did have a big age gap but that never, ever stopped Stel from being a great brother to Cole. Cole has always looked up to him and still does. You can see it in the way he listens carefully when Stellan tells him something new or the way he conducts himself just like a little Stellan. Looking at them both, anyone could tell that Stellan would be a great father. If he was such a great brother, you don't exactly need creativity to know how he would treat his own kids. He was a great man and although he had his own insecurities, Stellan definitely would prove to be a great father. 

And a husband.

And I let my thoughts just dissolve there because had I continued further, my mind wouldn't be able to get over the dreams that my heart would conjure. I had always dreamt but I had learnt that dreaming of things that you can't achieve brings nothing but disappointment. The way we wish to reach the stars. Dream about them all night, to climb up, touch them but only to realize they disappear at dawn. It's really hard to get over the dream then. Ask me, I am an astrophile. I haven't ever counted my wishes upon a star. Dreams that never will come true. Hence, maybe I just stop dreaming. But you see, we can't really control that. 

Leaving my thoughts behind, I gazed in front to find Stellan looking at us before bending down to blow a single candle, that I might add, Cole had put with a lot of excitement. Although the cake was three levelled, the table was low so Stellan had to bend to blow the candles. He bent as Cole happily clapped his hands. I swear this boy is cuter than any other 10 year old.

Before blowing the candle, he raised his hooded eyes to meet mine. I gave him a questioning look when he just smiled, shook his head a little and closed his eyes. Soon, the candles went off as Nat and Stel made their wishes and all I heard were claps. It was loud when every person was actually clapping. I guess Stel was worrying in vain. He sure as hell does have a lot of people who love and care for him. I clapped too as he sent a smile down to a happy Cole, who was eyeing the cake now. He had waited enough to taste his own work.

Stellan quickly cut a piece out to give it to Cole, who happily had a bite and jumped in wonder. Natalie too became busy as she went off in the other direction, treating Derek and her family. Stel then gave the cake to his father, sisters and I guess I was next. But before it could actually touch my mouth, I pulled Ian closer so that he could have the bite. 

They both gave me confused looks.

"Don't look at me like that Ian! You have been waiting to have the cake the moment it was baked. I can wait. Plus you always have the right first. He is your best friend. You and Derek should have it first." Ian gave me a genuine smile, not his usual cocky smirk. Well, that's a first. I have always been the one to tease him. I can be good once in a while. To him at least. Then my eyes returned to Stel as his expression had softened. I slide a little too as Ian had the cake. 

It was true though. Ian would always have right over Stellan, as much as anyone. Because they were simply just more than friends. They were brothers. When I whined about how Ian could ruin our plan, Natalie had told me just how much Ian had supported Stellan through the years more than anyone else. Derek was supportive too but he had always been a closed off person and consoling isn't his strong suit and well Ace, he was never really around much. Ian had always been with Stellan, the moment when his mom died or the time when Beverly gave up on him. Ian never did give up. He was there, through thick and thin, and as much as I know that asshole, he is going to be with Stellan for a very long run. It's good to have someone to rely on, even when you don't want to rely. It's much like me and Alice but I guess ours is different. We are on a whole different level and no one might have minded it, but it would have been wrong to deserve the cake first. I could have it later and it's not like I love cakes. I might be a great foodie, but cakes have always been an okay thing for me. No offences to cake lovers.

Stellan then offered me a bite. I took a tiny piece before I took the cake from his hand and tried smashing it on his face. Tried. Tried because he saw it coming. I might have been smiling mischievously at him. He moved away the moment I took the cake. It didn't go as well as I planned but I succeeded in getting some of it on his face.

It was near his lips so he could lick it off. He stared at me wide eyed. I guess everyone did before they burst in laughter. Wow. Good job staying low radar.

Stellan sighed a little before giving me a wolfish smile. Ahh, is that revenge I smell? Natalie gave him a tissue, still turning red as she controlled her laughter. Hey, I made the birthday girl laugh. Bitches, my prize!

Now that the party had actually begun, people began rushing around. Some were busy in food and some, well, they were already drunk. Some couples were dancing in the centre but that's just plain boring. Like don't we need hip hop and stuff? I accept I haven't been to many parties but still. 

Now that everyone had seen the whole 'cake smashing' mess, I was very much, clear to their eyes. But I was least interested in meeting them all. Too many names at a time leave me anxious. That's one of the reasons why I consume myself in food. It is a good relationship. You don't have to know the names of the food item and just eat it. It's pure bliss. But again it's a love hate relationship. I mean, have  you ever seen an ice-cream being made? It's one of the prettiest sights in the world. But then it finishes once you eat it and that low-key turns to disappointment. Okay. I need food. It's been a long day.

I had taken over to the food stall as Alice had been whisked away by Lillian somewhere. They seem to get along pretty well. That's good though. Alice has always been the one to be happy with just one friend. She can talk to you all day but will still not consider you a friend. Call it rude or whatever, but my best friend had her own reasons and I never expected anything else. It's actually good to see her getting along. I think the air of Brooke Falls has a good effect on our Martin.

I was moving to have something when I was blocked by Stellan. He gave me a flashing smile as I looked at him suspiciously. Is he in trouble or am I? 

Gosh, I need food. I sighed.

"Stellan....I really want food. And you know a hungry me is not good. So, yo- wait, why are you giving me that guilty smile?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You can have food later." I scoffed.

"Of course I can. But I want it now...." And the sentence was left trailing as he pulled me closer. It was just so sudden that I gasped. What the hell? My voice seemed to be blocked in my own throat. It's not like we haven't been this close but it just.....took my off guard.

"Stellan....."

"It's your fault." Huh?

"MY fault....what did I do?" He gave me a 'duh' look.

"Well, by smashing my face with a cake, you attracted attention....as if your beauty wasn't attracting enough already. Now, you see these hormonal guys....yeah! They want to talk to you and I am not letting you go and meet them alone. They have been looking at you for far too long so let's introduce you to all of them and get this over with."

"Umm...okay but I can just go and introduce myself on my own. And you know I can take them down."

"Ophelia.....you can't in that dress. And you're not going near them." There was a certain edge to his voice, as if he was controlling his own anger. And so was the possessive glint in his eyes. Oh boy, what am I up for tonight?

"Then how are they supposed to know me?" I gave him a deadpan look. He gave a slight smirk.

"Oh....you will stay by my side and honour me with a dance." Before I could even react, Stellan was dragging me to the dance floor.

"Are you serious?" I hissed at him.

"Oh....I am! First and the last dance, for you." And here we were, on the floor. With beats getting to a slower pace, Stellan pulled me closer as I held his shoulder for support.

"Stel....you are being stupid! Dancing is not telling them who I am." I grumbled.

"It might not but it sure as hell does tell them to keep their eyes off of you." Anger laced his voice.

Oh my, my. Is that a jealous Stellan I see? 

"Stellan, you don't need to threaten them. They are not staring at me." I said with amusement. He didn't find it funny though as we moved to the beat.

"What? Are you blind? They are staring at you. Almost all unmated males are." I laughed at that one. Good lord! He was all alpha male right now.

"Yeah, sure alpha! Because I am such a stud magnet." I snorted.

His gaze suddenly snapped to mine as he gave me a solemn look.

"You don't have an idea of how beautiful you are, do you?" I bit my lip at that.

"It's not the fact that I know I am beautiful or not, I just never really paid attention to how much I attract anyone....or if I even do." 

Although my family had called me beautiful on several occasions and so have my friends, I don't really need it. I was pretty enough for my own satisfaction and that was all. The boys usually knew their bounds since dad always had his shotgun with him. So they didn't ever make a big move. Compliments? Sure. Genuine ones? Not so.

Once in a while I do think I look completely awful, like when I was sick and was throwing up every ten minutes and sometimes I think I do look pretty but outer beauty was something that I hardly ever cared about. There are far more things to ponder upon. And... far too many scars to count.

His hold on my waist tightened.

"You should though. You don't have an idea of what a beauty you are....even without that face. Your witty comments, you're messed up hair, your honest opinions, your selfless self, your 'I can protect the world with myself' version or simply your way to care......all of them sum up to be a beautiful soul." I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"Don't lie, Stel. I am not that pretty."

"You are so used to your features; you don't know how beautiful you look to a stranger." He said and was that enough to send my emotions in frenzy. 

How can he look at me.....like I am perfection? Because I am not.

"That was smooth Walker. But they are still going to stare at me if they want to. You can't stop them." I roamed my eyes around to actually do find people looking our way as I spotted Alice giving me a smug smile. 

Stellan pulled me even closer.

"Oh trust me. They don't want to mess with something that is mine." I stopped right there and just then he realized that he did something wrong. I looked at him with irritation lacing my voice.

"I am not a possession, for your kind information Stellan!" 

He looked at me for a second, regret flashing through his eyes, immediately replaced by determination. He shook his head.

"No, you are not. But I am not allowing them to see you as someone they can just devour with their eyes." He retorted back.

What is wrong with him?

"You do know they are your friends, right? At least believe in them." I knew we would attract attention hence I started moving along the beat once again with Stellan still very close. So close that I could feel his cologne spreading around me and wrapping me in.

"Yes....they are friends. That's why I know them enough to tell what they want. And right now, you are on top of the list for most of them. You don't even know that half of them are absolute playboys and taking any girl to their bed is just what they want!" He sent a glare my way as his jaw ticked. Oh, he was angry but so was I.

I snapped.

"Stop fucking insulting everyone and putting me in a conversation like that! If I would want to sleep with someone, I will.....you don't have a right to stop me. I need neither your protection nor your permission, Stellan Walker." I sneered back at him. We were not that loud but if someone came close enough, they would know. 

But Stellan was hell bent as his hold tightened even more. I would be shocked if it could get any tighter. The determined glint in his eyes made me want to give up. It wasn't just pure jealousy but it was anger and all the buried emotions that were swirling altogether, making his blue eyes seem darker than ever before.

"Ophelia, don't make it even more difficult. I was about to punch the guys in the club and now, here! You seriously are not sure of the effect you have on me? Of just how much every guy wants you but it would be a cold day in hell before I ever let anyone touch you or even look at you the wrong way...." I didn't even realize just how close he had come to me and surprisingly, I didn't even mind the closeness. I didn't even mind that he was so very close to me. But as soon as he said that, I was interested in everything in this world other than his eyes. The words were heavy in the air but what was heavier was his stare to the side of my head as I tried to look down or anywhere but avoid his eyes. 

"Ophelia, look at me." I didn't. I couldn't. I had a feeling of what was coming next as I could tell that we had come to a far corner of the room with much lesser crowd. 

I didn't even notice that we moved along here. I don't know if that's good or bad. At least people won't be able to hear us but then again, no one could possibly interfere him.

"Ophelia, I am saying this the last time." 

Was he ordering me? I am not good at taking orders. He might as well know that. 

Within a flash, he grabbed my chin and tilted it up to make me look into his eyes. His hold was gentle, like he was touching the most delicate of things but had enough force to make me look up in his eyes.

His eyes.

Funny how they were made to look but right now, we did anything but look. He said everything in a go without uttering a single word and it was too much, too overwhelming for me to handle.

"Look at me and tell me. Tell me that I don't affect you. That my touch doesn't have an effect on you." He whispered lightly against me lips before his lips slightly brushed against mine. That touch brought me out of my own trance....my trance that rendered me limp with just a brush of his lips. I was not ready to know what it could actually do if he did kiss me. Even thinking of the possibility sent shivers down my spine as his touch sent tingles further down my body. I almost felt my legs give up as I pushed myself before I fell.

Before I fell completely.

While my body felt disappointed at the loss of his touch, I gathered myself and looked back at Stellan.

He looked angry....and torn.

"How long are you going to push me away Ophelia....?" He asked me with every emotion one could gather.

With anger, disappointment, expectation, care, adoration, jealousy, determination....and maybe even love.

And it took everything in me to answer him back.

"When I am convinced that you won't leave on your own and that might be a wait of forever, Stellan. Leave it. Because I am not worth a forever...." I merely whispered back as I walked away. It was low. Maybe he didn't hear it. Maybe he did.

But whatsoever, he didn't follow me and as much as I hated that we had to face this later, I was thankful that right now, I did not have to face it. He had taken away all the energy and I knew I couldn't simply talk to him without just spilling every freaking thing. It was bound to happen but not today.

But why do I have a feeling that the day was today? 

I had to get away. The best thing to do right now was to run home. It was late. Couples had started leaving already, including old family members. So were the younger people, who were drunk and tired....it was an office night after all. I needed sleep too and although I didn't have my dinner or lunch, my hunger suddenly died down. I had no wish to eat anything. I was planning to leave the place. Allison would be going with Ian, I was sure of that. She could get my clothes because I couldn't risk moving to the room and encountering Stellan on the way. It was difficult when it was his birthday and he was probably looking for me. But I knew how to mix in a crowd when I wanted to. I was just moving to inform Alice when I saw Cole playing with a knife. Where the hell did he get that? I almost shrieked at him before I ran over to him.

"Cole......that is not something to play with!" I told him as gently as I could because I feared that he might cry out. He simply smiled at me. He easily gave the knife to me, without any struggle. It was the one used to cut a cake. Is everyone blind? No one saw the missing knife!?

"Don't worry Ophelia....I was just observing it. I just read about pressure so I wanted to see how the butter knife and a sharp one are different....no one lets me go near them so...." He said and guiltily looked down. Now, how could I say anything?

My god, I am suing the schools! No child is supposed to handle these things if they don't have someone around!

"Okay.....just promise not to touch them again. Ask Emma, she will help you....Okay?" I bent down a little to caress his cheeks.

"Yeah....I am sorry! Thanks Ophelia!" I chuckled lightly and nodded at him as he ran away. Well, looks like I got to reach Emma and warn her now or at least head to the kitchen.

I started moving towards the kitchen when I saw Alice approaching me with Lillian trailing her. Good that she was here. I was looking for her anyway.

"Ophelia...where were you? I was looking for yo-"

"Not now Alice....I just, I just want to go home. Can you please take my changed clothes with yours back home....? You stay if you want to.....I just want home." She gave me quizzical look.

"Hm....okay. But what happened? Are you alright?" She knew me too fucking well. She could see through my façade. And Lillian gave me a concerned look. God, what do I tell them?

"Guys....I am fine! Okay? I am just really tired and I want to go so just leave me...." Alice gave me deadly look.

"Ophelia. What. Happened? Tell me....did someone say something?" She looked lethal enough. 

She did when it came to her friends and family. And gets even angrier when you keep her in the dark.

I gave a frustrated groan.

"Leave it Allison! Just.....Leave it.....Enjoy the party. I am going home." I almost turned around before Allison got hold of my hand and pulled me forcefully close before flinching back in pain.

The hand that was carrying Cole's long forgotten knife. The knife that she never saw. The knife that left a cut right in her palm.

Allison moved a little back in pain as Lillian looked wide eyed at her injury. Quick in action, she ran away muttering something like a 'first aid kit'.

For a second, I couldn't breathe. It all came rushing back. All those years that I hated. All the things that made me a monster once. 

Then all of a sudden, my breathing became heavy. I took in laboured breathes. I blinked hard to keep the tears at bay but I knew they would fall soon. 

Getting over her own pain and forgetting that her hand had her own blood, she looked me before the gravity of the situation hit it.

"Ophelia......It wasn't you! Okay? It wasn't. It was an accident." She came closer to bring me back up before the darkness engulfed me. She knew how to do that. She had done it many times but never had I hurt her before.

"B-but....but it w-was me....wasn't it? I hurt you!" My voice cracked as I looked at my best friend. The girl who knew everything and knew what would follow.

"No....no! Lia....look at me! Everything is alright. I am alright. It's just a cut. I can bandage it.......it's nothing serious. You didn't hurt me. You can't hurt me....hell but you can't hurt ANYONE!" She almost shouted the last word that I shook a little. That gathered enough attention. Ian came running followed by another anxious looking Stellan. Some people might have looked our way. But right now, none of it mattered. It didn't. 

The knife felt heavier in my hand and I feared I might hurt someone else before Alice took it from her unharmed hand as Lillian came with the kit. My brain comprehend my surroundings. Like the walls suffocating me. Closing in on me.

I knew I was shaking. I wasn't crying. The tears hadn't come yet but I knew it was far worse than that. Alice looked at me desperately.

"Ophelia.....it was just an accident! Please, believe me! Trust me sweetheart....I am alright. You know you won't ever do anything to me. Believe me, Ophelia. Just...just come back to me!" She moved a step closer but I flinched back. Dread filled her eyes as I started moving away. 

I had to get away, right now! I wouldn't allow to Alice suffer with me too. It was a slight cut but it brought enough memories and nightmares to make me run away. Run away from the problems because that was what I was good at.

Alice tried to follow me when Ian stopped. I don't know what came over him but whatever it was, it was in my favour. Without giving them another thought, I moved as fast as I could. I moved out of the grand door, with people throwing me worried or weird looks. I moved out as the chilling air hit my skin. I took deep, shaky breathes, letting the breeze take away my panic. Take away my despair. But it never was easy. Never is. I wasn't dressed enough for the night without a shelter. Slightly rubbing my arms, I headed somewhere. Anywhere.

I wasn't taking the car. I knew I couldn't drive right now and even if I did and mom or dad find about it, they would worry to no end. Driving in this state where I wasn't in the right emotional state could straight away kill me.

And I couldn't walk home. As much as I was desperate to go home, I knew going alone through the whole town wasn't a very safe option.

Having left with no other option, I took slow steps to the garden outside the mansion. The garden was beautiful with an angelic fountain and blooming flowers. I strode towards the water fountain and just....stood there. Bench was a few steps away and I could sit later......but right now, I wanted warmth. I needed to.....bury it down again. No one could hear me if I shouted out loud or listen when I whispered things that terrified me. I needed warmth. And what could be a better source of warmth, for an astrophile, than stars?

I looked up at the stars twinkling in the sky as the first tear fell down my eye with many others to follow. I wasn't sobbing but the tears were simply falling. I guess, it was something I had learned to do over the years. I looked up as another breeze hit me and I rubbed my arms. While it was enough to keep me from shivering, the cover that suddenly was put on my shoulders gave me enough heat and comfort to relish in it. 

I felt him before I saw him.

Stellan was very much here and had taken off his coat to put on my shoulders. And although I knew he would feel cold soon, I pulled the coat closer as it was the nearest thing to home. 

He didn't say anything and for a few seconds, we just stood there. With me staring at the stars and him....well, probably staring at the back of my head. Not even bothering to wipe my tears away, I turned around to find Stellan looking at me, with nothing but worry all over his face.

"I think you should go inside Stellan. It's cold and it's your birthday....they might be looking for you."  I gave him a floppy smile, my voice shaking as his eyebrows coiled.

"So should you and they can wait. I know my priorities, Lia." He said taking a step forward and I didn't move back.

"I shouldn't be one! I just....just go and make sure Alice is alright." Any excuse could work right now.

"Ian is looking after her. So is everyone in the family and do you really think I will go away?" He gave me a raised eyebrow. I sighed. I knew he wouldn't.

"I know you won't but I think you should."

"Ophelia...it's either me or Allison and right now, she is breaking away too. She almost broke into a cry when you flinched away. And I might not be an expert, but it wasn't from the cut." Damn him!

"Stellan, then make sure Ian looks after her! I don't need anything right now....just go! Ian was able to stop Alice from following me because she knew I had to be alone."

"Oh...no. She didn't!" My eyes snapped back to his.

"She would have followed you. The moment you ran out of the door, she almost lost Ian but we all just calmed her down. Anyone could have come after you....but her eyes snapped to mine and she told me to follow you. That's why she isn't here. That's why Ian stopped her, because he knew I would follow you.....even if she didn't tell me!"

I guess Ian wasn't in my favour then.

I looked at him once and snapped my eyes to the grass beneath. He spoke after a few seconds.

"It wasn't your fault Ophelia...." I gave him a humourless laugh.

"Oh really, Stellan? But if you didn't connect the dots, the knife was in my hand. I had just taken it from a curious Cole and had gone to the kitchen but I had to hurt Allison."

"Lia...you di-"

"You don't know anything Stellan. I did hurt her. I am not supposed to. I am not supposed to hurt somewhere I care about!" I was getting irritated by the second and maybe even yelling but Stellan stayed as calm as ever.

"Then tell me Ophelia....if you won't tell me, I won't be able to help you." His hand reached out to caress my cheeks as I leant into his touch and tears came running down now.

"Trust me....you don't want to know Stellan!" He didn't. He didn't have to.

"Ophelia..."

"I hurt her, Stel! Don't you see it? Had she pulled me with more force, the cut could be more gruesome. There are just so many fucking scenarios. So many things could have happened." 

"But it didn't, love...."

"But you don't get it.....I could." I said as a sob broke me.

"Ophelia....you couldn't hurt her. You couldn't even if you wanted to!" I snapped back.

"You seriously can't say that Stellan....I can freaking kill you right now and you won't know it." I shouted but he gave me a small smile.

"I know, you can but you wouldn't. You can't ever hurt someone you care about. You would die yourself before purposely hurting someone you shouldn't. Rather burn yourself than let others suffer."

That's the fucking irony.

"You expect from the wrong person, Stellan." He moved his head a little closer.

"I am only human. I can be wrong about so many things. But I never be wrong as far as you are concerned. You didn't hurt her. You can't hurt someone."

I gave him a wry smile. I guess my prediction was true.

"Then I guess you are wrong." He gave me a confused look as I looked back at the stars. 

Could I really tell him? Could I?

It wasn't the fear that I would break again. I had no problem in breaking once in a while but I knew that if he ran away, I would be too shattered to stand up again. Again after 14 years. I knew I couldn't pick myself but if I was going down tonight, I might as well choose my last wish. I choose him.

I looked back at him and gave him a sad smile.

"Paul isn't my father. Neither is Rose my mother. I am adopted." He looked at me confused before realization hit him and he moved forward to hold me. I would have accepted it but it wasn't over yet. Hell, it hadn't even started.

"I killed him though." His feet halted right where they were. He looked back at me as his eyes widened.

"I killed my real father." I said in a breath as the guy whose presence meant everything to me right now, looked at me with nothing but care. 

And I hated it....because I didn't deserve it. What had I done to deserve it anyway?

Lilith didn't deserve it. I almost gave off a humourless laugh.

"Told you, you wouldn't want to know...." I croaked as the last restraint broke down and all that was left of me was memories. Horrible, treacherous memories. The tears rolled away as I sat down on the bench, not trusting my own legs with my weight.

Okay. So the word count is 5500 words. That's a huge chapter. I hope you liked it.

So, the big secret I out. Just in a sentence, everything is out. Or is it? 😏😏😏😏

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