It has been dark for quite some time now.

Dark.

Bleak.

Absence.

The only sense I have from the past few eternities. And eternities it has been.

How many? I guess I am yet to find out.

For the first time in my existence, I am calm. It's as quiet as the dawn. My mind has never been so at peace. It's all too...tempting.

Too tempting to not have the wish to live. To give up with every breath of mine taking me down.

And probably that is what I would have done earlier.

Earlier when I closed my eyes in Stellan's arms.

I don't remember the last time my eyes found his. And I don't know how long it had been since I thought I had died.

I did die, didn't I?

In that moment, when I saw the desperation in his beautiful, beautiful eyes, there was nothing more in the world that I wished to do. Nothing more than to comfort him and kiss his sorrows away.

But I suppose, me dying was his sorrow.

And it must have been a long, long process, reviving me. I don't remember anything. Nothing of, after closing my eyes. All I do remember is blue replaced by black. And there's been nothing more to replace it.

But it's not that bad.

Death has never been revolting for me. Or even slightly terrifying. We all are destined to die one day. Some approach it sooner, some don't. And for someone who had seen death up close, two times now, it's not that bad.

It's like a hit. A small pinch. A quick dawn. A mellow note.

But then, it's like an endless falling. A deep, deep sleep. A far off thought. A subtle way of knowing what I have to regret and redeem.

So for these eternities that I have been here, in this dark, lifeless world, that's all I did.

Think of all the things that I left behind. Things I would never get to do if I stay here forever. Things I would miss. Things that meant the world to me.

And I wasn't surprised when I realized that Stellan was...Stellan is topping all these lists.

I didn't just push my parents to a second priority. But I think, I placed him in a place my parents would never be.

Was it wrong of me to do that?

Probably. But I do remember one fine morning when I found dad with a soft smile, staring at an unaware mom who was busy humming and baking a cake.

I remember asking him what was so special that he looked at her in that way. In a way, he only looked at mom. I guess he chuckled a little, told me it was something I would realize one day. Something that I would do too. Something that's a story in it's own self. And something I would never be able to truly answer.

And I guess, here I am. Not able to answer why I put him above everybody. But if there was something I knew and something I could put clearly, it would just be a very simple thing.

I loved him.

I was completely and utterly in love with Stellan Walker.

And there was no force in the world which would stop me when my lips murmur these words against his.

Plus me being a Hale couldn't really help death.

So I fought. I tried staying above water. Of not falling in the abyss.

Was it hard? Maybe. I could hardly feel my body. I still can't.

But I could still feel a little hope flickering somewhere. And I didn't let go.

So when I realized I wasn't dead. That I was still breathing. That I was still surrounded by the warmth of every individual I ever loved, I knew I had a lot of things to do. A lot to think.

So I thought again. But they all dissolved when I heard them.

I couldn't see. I was still lurking in the darkness.

But I could hear them.

Stellan. Mom. Dad. Alice. Anyone who had ever been close to me.

And hearing them I realized, how important it was for me to wake up. Not for myself. But for them.

They were a mess. A wreck.

Of all the things that they talked about, there was nothing I couldn't hear. They said I was in coma. I am. But I can hear them. And they do know it.

Because the way they give me detailed accounts of everything that is happening in my absence, its nothing but funny how volatile life is.

Something we can lose. Something we can gain.

All it takes is will. And I think I had enough of that.

I still can't feel my body. I try harder every day. And it seems easier everyday too. A little closer to opening my eyes. A little closer to holding their fingers. A little to a lot of things.

But they didn't know this. No one would in their realm. Though still, they didn't give up.

And they continued to talk. Continued to spill a thousand tears over a soul so close yet so far.

He did.

He spent his nights and days besides me, saying anything or everything he could to bring me back.

And I don't blame him. I know I wouldn't have been any better if the roles were reversed.

But I am pretty sure I wouldn't be naming kids.

Not our kids.

His and mine.

If only I was not half dead on a hospital dead, I would have been smiling at the sheer thought that Stellan once shared with me.

It's funny to see how easy it was for him to think of a future like this.

A future of us. Something I never knew I ever wanted.

And the moment he named our hypothetical child Matthias, I realized I wanted it. I wanted it so, so much. I wanted a future too. A happy one. To have something that a younger me would have thought she never deserved. I still don't think I deserve it. But maybe I am learning too. And I always will.

Life is all about learning, isn't it?

And with the spectrum of love that I have been showered with in all this dark yet comforting world, I was determined to wake up.

So I heard mom and dad again. Like I heard them everyday.

Or was it everyday?

I don't really know. I just knew they were here every time my brain was alert enough. When I wasn't really dead. And like any other time, they talked animatedly about anything they could recount.

I couldn't feel Stellan's presence but he would be close soon enough. My body was so used to them being all so near. Their warmth became their identity. The sign for my body to react. And I suppose, my heart beats a little faster for him. I don't think he would want to complain.

Mom and dad continued to banter a little. Talk maybe? They were a little far away.

And like just another attempt, I tried to open my eyes. Move my fingers. Twitch a little.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Not a shocker.

And I tried. And again. And again. There wasn't a better thing I would do. I had all the time in the world after all.

And in one of those sudden realities, a parallel universe where dreams are in reach, where the wish holds on to you, I felt it all change and then...there was nothing.

Not even the darkness.

And I didn't know if it was any better.

My eyes opened to be closed again by the flash of sudden light. I started breathing harder as I felt chaos find refugee around me. I could sense people running around, someone grabbing my head and stretching my eyelids open as I tried my best to close them back again.

The light was too damn much. Could someone switch the fucking lights off? Would be really appreciated!

I blinked a few more times as I moved my head a little, another feet, since it felt like I was cemented down the neck.

And my body felt too heavy. All of a sudden. I could barely move. If I thought moving my head was difficult, oh boy, then twitching a finger felt like a lifetime away.

But I heard a small cry, bringing me back to the room. The hospital bed. Shielded by the doctors.

I was unable to see the source of the soft cry but I could recognize it.

Good god! I could still feel mom cry a single tear, whenever she did. It was something we both were proud of. Sensing each other's pain much before anyone else did.

The doctor's were still checking their way through me but I saw a misty glimpse of mom's face and that was enough to allow me to take a breath.

And I could hear it now.

I could hear it all now. My breathing. My heart beating. The doctors rushing around. Some silent beats. The instruments falling with a click on the table.

I don't know what they were up to until a few seconds later, they stopped as I was yet to make out their faces, my eyesight being as bad as it could be.

A few moments passed as I breathed in, the world falling into places and all my senses coming back to me. The crowd of the doctors pulled away and some left while a few stood in the room.

The first thing I then felt was mom engulfing me in her arms in a weird angle, her body shaking in sobs.

I wished to hold her and cry. And I did. It wasn't the best way but just a single movement of my hands was enough.

"You took a toll on us wish this one Ophelia."

I felt the relief in dad's voice and my lips twitched a little.

"I try."

I barely whispered hoarsely, my throat way too sour to say a whole sentence.

I heard mom start crying even harder and when it got out of control, dad pulled her away as the doctors began to check up on me again. Mom all the while, wiped her tears away and started crying again. If only I could laugh right now.

After a few minutes which seemed like an eternity again, to have my parents close and yet so far, the doctors moved away and I was Ophelia again.

The moment my eyes were all clear and I could see the exhaustion on my mom's face penetrating her facades, I broke down with tears streaming down my face.

If there was something I could never handle, it would be seeing mom in pain due to a mistake I did. Or a hurricane I caused.

"You will kill me some day, Lia. A slow, very painful death." Her voice cracked as she sat next to me and put a kiss on my forehead.

"Don't do this to us ever again. I don't think I can afford losing you for the third time."

I didn't say anything and simply pointed towards the water jar.

Dad was quick on his feet and passing mom a filled glass. After I almost empty the full glass in a span of minutes, I took a breath.

"You are never losing me as long as you don't wish to."

Mom smiled through her tears.

"And I would never wish to let you go."

I shook my head. "Then you'll never lose me."

She nodded and kissed my hand.

"Oh come on, Rose. My daughters been off for like two months now. Can we let her breathe and talk to her amazing dad?"

The glare mom sent dad could shun away even Satan.

I covered my laugh with a cough.

My mom turned to me with a sigh.

"I'll go and talk to the doctor. Then I am not leaving your side, dama. You have a lot of explanation to give!"

I almost grimaced. It hasn't been a day yet and mom was ready to fire me with questions. Not that I complained. I had put her through a lot this time. Two months to be precise.

Two months.

It was hard to believe that it had been just two months. My dark world felt like a million eternities. But probably for them, it was a lot. To see someone in an endless sleep with no guarantee of waking up. With no...hope.

As mom walked out of the room, my eyes fell back on dad.

And I had never seen him look this old.

And in that moment I realized, it was too serious, even for me to be involved, wasn't it?

He looked at me and smile and walked towards me where I was propped up by pillows.

And we didn't say anything for a long time. It was quiet and just...comfortable. Unlike how we always were. And frankly, I had too much to catch up on.

"Was it scary?"

I very well predicted this would be my first question. So I wasn't shocked when the question flew out of my mouth. And if there was one person who would still be very unbiased to the situation, or at least as unbiased as he could be, he would genuinely let me know how bad it was this time.

He gave me a lopsided smile and half a longed one. He was tired. My dad looked tired. And that rarely happened. He plopped himself down on the stool and gave a breath and gazed at me. And I had never seen the exhaustion take over the dark brown in his eyes this way.

"It was terrifying."

And when he said that, the truth so genuine, I realised what toll it took on everyone. I mean I had an idea earlier but never in my life had dad ever accepted of being scared of anything. Or something that made him anxious.

Then again, he did accept that his greatest fear would be losing mom or me. And I suppose, he was pretty close to that. But I hope he did good. I think he did. Because mom's still on her feet and not dripped with glucose.

"Rose did faint in the first week."

And my guilt shattered me. My lips started quivering as my vision blurred. It always astonished me how well they both knew me.

"I-I...am-m...sorry. It just...that is what it had to be. I never meant-"

"You would be stupid to think I would blame you. I can never blame you for what you are Lia."

I looked at my father, my first teacher of everything. Anything. He taught me to live. And if he blames me for something, then there's no going back for me.

"I just wanted for Nat and the baby to be safe."

"I know, pie. And I wouldn't have expected any less of you. I know it would have been over your dead body that you would let someone hurt the people who mean the world to you. It's the best part of you, Lia, you know?" I dragged my eyes back to him and cocked my head in question.

"That you are selfless, without knowing it. And I am saying this because I know it would never get on your head just how much you lay yourself down for people."

"For people who need it, dad. I am your daughter. It might not be in my blood but it's in my upbringing to fight for those who can't."

He smiled.

"And when did you not have my blood, sweetie?"

"Don't go there dad. I accept it but I don't like to be reminded I don't carry your genes. Between me and you, we both know how much I regret of not being your daughter."

He narrowed his eyes.

"You are my daughter. If you still don't believe that, we need to have a different discussion entirely."

I shrugged. "You know what I meant."

"Ophelia, you are my daughter. If there's something I thank god everyday, I thank that I found your mom. And above that, I thank God that she found you. Because has it not been you, Rose was a complete mess, wasn't she? And one way or the other, you brought me to her. And you gave us something we could never have. You gave us a daughter, one that has always made us proud. So put your chin up, doll. You are Paul Hale's daughter. And he knows that with his blood running in you, you would never let anyone down. He taught you too well."

I chuckled through the tears.

"Stop talking in third person and pretending you are a legend, dad."

He scowled. "What are you talking about? I am the concept in Crystal Lakes."

I almost cringed.

"Who is keeping you updated on the trends and slang, dad?"

He smirked. "Alex is."

I barked a laugh and shook my head, ever so same.

And then it hit me.

Stellan.

How could I forget him! Within a second, I was a spluttering mess.

"Dad, where's Stellan? Please tell me someone was there to look after that idiot too!"

Dad raised his eyebrows at my outburst.

"I thought you believed he was smart."

I gave dad a flat look, my tears long dried and smile gone, anxiety fogging my eyes.

"Oh, the guy who spent almost all his days here, doing nothing but looking after you and gazing at you like you were the only thing that mattered?"

I am sure my cheek must have been dusted pink. I should have asked mom. But my eyes didn't waiver and the terrible glint in dad's eyes was up to no good.

"What? Did you and Stellan have some kind of heart to heart chat and you are ready to give me away?" I countered and his smile was replaced with a scowl.

"Ain't no man gonna take my girls away from me." And I think had it been some other time, I would tease him a little further. But with my body feeling tired with ever breath I took and Stellan's thought looming over my head, I was near desperate to know about him. To see him. To feel him.

Besides, we have a lot to discuss. I was just too tired to protest and all I wanted right now, was to see him.

Dad probably saw my inner turmoil and shook his head.

"You both are madly in love, do you realize that?"

I shrugged.

"I never thought you would ever be ready to see me loving someone and giving someone the power that mom has over you."

"Power of what? Scolding me all day?" I put up a small smile.

"Maybe. But more than that, power to destroy you with a single smile."

He narrowed his eyes in an amusing way.

"When did you s-" I cut him off.

"Dad please! You and mom were never low on PDA! Jesus but sometimes I was embarrassed of you both!" I scowled and he laughed. How typical. And then he finally sobered up.

"But it's worth it, isn't it?"

Maybe it was. It might be. I was too young in love to realize.

But I just didn't know I was a few minutes away from realizing it's worth.

Because before I could answer dad, I heard the door open. My eyes snapped to the door, to find a breathless Stellan standing at the door, probably too weak on his knees.

And he looked a mess. A handsome mess. But a mess. I took all my time in looking at him as he took his own. His hair were thoroughly been messed, by his own anxious self, his blue tie loosened down to his chest and looking at his formal wear, I could bet that he was in the office before. Looking at him that far, he felt like he had lost some weight, had he? I slowly dragged my eyes to his face and what do you know, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Because never had I seen him like...that.

His hair a mess. His eyes a storm, wide awake with alarm. His breathes like the waves hitting home.

And he was home, wasn't he?

And all the while I stared at him, he was just standing there, not daring to put a foot forward. I felt dad stand up and leave after patting his back for once. I scrunched my eyebrows.

"Did dad seriously pat you on his way out? What all did I miss?"

It was like he was finally breathing and brought back to reality by my own words. He looked at me once again and slowly closed the door and turned around to look at me again.

I titled my head to the side. It seems like my accident affected him more than me. He was so...unpredictable. Well, he had always been a little. But right now, I had no idea of what he was going to do. And I don't know if I should be scared about it.

"Well....if you are not open to a talk, that's alright. Just wanted you to know that I have already wasted a lot of time being sure. Not saying a lot of things I should have. Now even a storm can't stop me. So I stan-" I was cut off by a tear falling down his eyes.

Oh no.

No. No. No! NO!

I don't want him crying right now, when I was already on the edge.

"Stellan...No one deserves your tears." I felt my voice break a little at the end and it probably broke his last restrain too.

I saw him take quick steps towards me and the moment I saw him just next to me, his warmth felt so, so real.

After so long.

"But little do you realize Ophelia, you're worth every tear of mine."

And then he pressed his lips to mine.

His restraint broke and mine shattered right after. It wasn't like the last kiss that we had, which seemed like a distant memory now. It had longing in it. Oh god, it had the first touch of our love and the beginning of our death in it. It had the flare of our passion and the fear of our hearts in it. It was my tears and a little smile. Some of his anger and some of my sass in it. It was like our first kiss again. Me being too tired to handle another storm coming. But him being there to light a deep fire within his heart to keep me warm. It had my storm and his calm in it. But then again, it had his hunger and my life in it.

And if I were to ever describe what love is like, it could be this. Or it could just simply be Stellan.

Because for long now, love is not a feeling. It has become a person. And maybe that's when you realize that you love someone.

And he pulled away. Way too soon. I whimpered a little and took a few quick breathes as his forehead descended to mine.

"Say it."

My eyes snapped open at his demanding tone. Well, what's that now? My eyes fogged in confusion.

He took another breath as our breathes now mingled at the same rhythm.

His lips twitched at one side.

"Say what you almost died saying?"

I knew exactly what he meant. I knew exactly what he wanted to hear. But if I gave in too easily, I wouldn't be Ophelia then.

"Oh you mean that Natalie wasn't very safe when you called?" I looked at him innocently from my hooded eyes.

He narrowed his eyes.

"Ophelia-"

"Oh or the part where I said we need help?"

"Okay. I really don't want to remember the night again."

I blew a raspberry on his nose.

"Or maybe the fact th-"

He groaned helplessly.

I shushed him, my lips just over his.

"Or maybe the simple fact that I love you."

The way his eyes brightened up took my breath away. He seemed so ecstatic. Like he had won everything he ever dreamed of.

And probably I looked the same too. A little battered maybe. But we had a future to look upto. And seeing that hopeful glint in his eyes, I wanted nothing more. And while I put another kiss on his lips, this one sweet and a little sour, probably due to our tears creeping up on our lips, it was a pure gift.

And I realized it was worth it. That loving him was worth every pain the world. Even if it meant I would get a little tattered in the way.

And when we pulled apart, I shifted a little, somehow.

"Don't you dare move!" I gave Stellan a flat look.

"Uh huh. Sure. You can continue sitting on one leg in a weird position or I could shift a little and I could kiss you properly." And I complimented it with a coy look. At least the best I could do.

His eyes narrowed.

"You are a minx, Hale. You need to stop looking at me like that?"

I raised my eyebrows.

"Like what?"

"Like you want to devour me. And frankly speaking, your dad's nearby." I rolled my eyes and shifted nevertheless, telling him to sit down.

He released a sigh.

"You need to stop being so selfless. You have been up for not even an hour and you want me to be okay. I am okay. Don't you see?"

I looked at him for a second, searched his eyes and shook my head.

"No you aren't. I heard it all, you know. I heard every word you said. Each bit of it. And I know you were no where near okay. So stop bluffing. And if I ain't mistaken, you put the company to stake. Were you out of your mind!"

A second later, I saw a smile form on his face as he finally took a seat just besides me and I settled into his arms, our hands in each others within a beat. It was an instinct, to settle into each other like we were made together. For each other.

He thinks we are. And maybe we are.

"I...you don't now how it was seeing you there, fighting death and I couldn't do anything about it. For once, you needed me and I couldn't be there. For you. For Nat. When it was my duty to protect you. And tell me as much as you want to like others did, but I'll die with the guilt."

I looked up at him and kissed our hands.

"Out of all people in the world, I will never be the one to tell you feeling guilty is stupid when I die of it everyday too. But...just so you know, Stellan, no one is at mistake. Not even Nat. Not even you. It was written. It happened. And we should forget about it."

"And learn from it." He said calmly.

"Learn what?"

He chuckled.

"Oh babe, a lot of things but that's for some other time. Right now, just let me relish the fact that you are back."

I snorted.

"Like I would die so easily."

His hold on me tightened.

"Don't ever say that! I am not losing you again. You get that down your throat and in your head. Don't get me to my worst Lia. We are still not done with your hero stunt."

I am offended. Very offended but I didn't say anything. Because undoubtedly, Stellan at his worst was not a pretty sight and I was too tired to look and drool over it. It's marvelous to be honest.

"What you rather have hurt? Me or the baby?" I asked quietly after because I knew he would never answer. But he did answer.

"You know, if I do answer, I would not be able to hold anything over your head. Because between us both, us both stupidly in love with our family, we will always put family first. Above ourselves or each other, won't we? And I am sure if I pick you over my nephew, you'll insult me in a lovely way."

I chuckled.

"Oh, you know me so well."

And then we settled into a comfortable silence, his heartbeat so close to my ears, the most calming sound for me. We just didn't say anything and let the thought settle of how close we were to losing one another and here we are, just where we are meant to be.

That's life I suppose. Maybe the prize of something good I did. Or he did. Or maybe the prayers showered upon me. I would never find out. But in the moment, I was content knowing that this is what I wanted.

And it was enough.

We shared a dozen feverish kisses in between until we were caught by mom and my doctor, with a very embarrassed Stellan might I add. Mom just cleared her throat as the doctor pretended to ignore everything and walked in, followed by mom and a nurse. I chocked on my laugh too.

"So Ophelia, how's the progress?"

I smiled.

"I have seen better days but I will do."

He nodded his head, giving a sideway glance to Stellan.

"Mr. Walker, I appreciate your care but we can't have her needing oxygen every few minutes if you keep leaving her breathless."

I have never seen Stellan this mortified. I was probably embarrassed but I was too busy holding in my laughter.

He shook his head and gave a small smile, too red to say a word.

"Other than that, everything's fine. We just have to check your vitals once again, Ophelia. We will be giving you some medicines that will make you dizzy. And also I would need everyone to leave the room while we give her a final check up and work on the bandages." He directed the last words to mom and Stel.

I saw a storm brew in Stellan's eyes but mom patted his shoulder and gave him an encouraging nod.

I smiled at him, telling him I would live and not die. Not now at least.

He gave me a last smile, with a definite promise to come in as soon as the doctors were done. And as mom left the room and Stellan followed, I called out.

"Stellan!"

He was right back in, his eyes on me in alarm. Jesus! He was on leash. He came upto me and brushed a strand of hair from my face.

"I forgot to tell you something."

His eyes questioned me as a serene smile settled on my lips.

"I like the name Matthias."

And when I saw the smile that almost split his face into half and the same future in both our eyes, I knew there was no going back. And then I saw an unknown emotion flicker in his eyes, his eyes turning darker as he closed up eve more do, his nose not even an inch away.

"You are going to end up as Ms. Stellan Walker, Ophelia. No going back. This is a promise. I swear to god, you better note this down!"

It was loud enough just for me and I raised my eyebrows with a smirk.

"Now that's a challenge I would happily lose."

And with a final peck, we sealed our promise with hopes in our hearts and love in our eyes, our lips on skin and our vows on the tip of our tongues, unaware of the dark storm brewing miles away.

So other than throwing a party at the fact that Lia woke up, we also need a party because...

Burn Out just won the first position in
THE MAJESTIC INC UNIVERSAL AWARDS 2019
organised by MajesticIncAwards
for the Romance genre.

FIRST PLACE YOU GUYS!

I mean I didn't expect this at all. I expected getting a special mention maybe but definitely NOT the first prize. I was so so happy when I found out.

It's been a hardwork of a year now. And love and support of you all. So thank you so so much! I really can never thank you all enough for this! And so on this occasion, I sat and wrote this chapter. It's probably not the best but I wanted to give you all something. The next chapter will take time, I am sure. But hey, Lia's back and that's good. For now. I mean, with the foreshadowing... 😏

But anyways, I hoped you liked the chapter and the news. If you wish to, you can check out MajesticIncAwards account and their 'Results' book if you are too curious. It's an amazing community btw.

And other than that, seems like Fiction Awards 2019 are here! I LOVE NOMINATING SHIT LOAD OF BOOKS BCZ WHY THE FUCK NOT! Love a book, nominate it. I love nominating and more than that, voting. Like the simple happiness of sitting and hitting that '+1' comment till your phone corrupts is just pure bliss. Lol. BUT REALLY! Other than Wattys, another very reputed awards are up. Do nominate books which you think deserve it. If Burn Out does, do nominate it. I am pretty sure it doesn't. But do nominate books which do. Writers who are amazing should get recognized.

I'll probably sit and nominate when I am not suffering from pain. My batch was throwing farewell to our ex seniors and I was the head anchor 😎 so after we danced or well, while we were dancing, I pulled a hamstring muscle. Bitch, even moving my leg hurts. Plus I have a school trip in a week. So pray for me ya'll! I really wanna attend this trip!

Other than that, nothing new. You guys have any other thing to share? Any news. Opinion. View. Tea. Anything. I am ready to talk.

Besides that, hope you all have a nice week ahead. Keep spreading love. And smiling.

Bye!
❤️