DISCLAIMER: I STILL DON'T OWN MY HERO ACADEMIA, AND MOST LIKELY NEVER WILL.

Red Light by Personal Trainer

CHAPTER 8: KINDLING SPARKS
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THIRD POV
KASAI STARES UP at her bedroom ceiling as she lies in bed, listening to her clock ticking every second. It was still dark out, no sign of the rising sun for anytime soon. The school gave an extra day off, making it a three day weekend, as they took action to tighten their security. Most likely not wanting for attack to repeat itself.

When both Shoto and herself arrived home on Friday, Fuyumi was quick to crush them in a hug. The events of the USJ exhausted Kasai so much that she didn't mind traveling with Shoto on the train together. They didn't speak on the ride home, but they knew they were grateful for each other at the moment. So, when their older sister held them in a group hug, Kasai sighed in content.

Though, after their little moment, they returned to their strained silence. The progress of bonding halted, coming to a complete standstill as Kasai closed herself off in her room. She returned to avoiding him now that she wasn't in danger, in a at-risk situation.

The weekend, itself, went by pretty fast as she spent the majority of her time inside her room doing homework for all of her classes. The times she did exit, she only went to the courtyard, sitting in her usual spot under the tree to relax. Of course, Kasai also went to the kitchen to grab some sustenance.

Though, as Monday came, she woke up earlier than usual and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. Without school, the girl had no plans for today and decided that she'll do something she hasn't done in a long while. Which she was now dreading.

But visiting her mother wouldn't be bad, right?

Kasai had no qualms with the woman, but their relationship was a bit tense. She remembers that her mother - Rei - would always make an effort to avoid making eye contact with her. She can recall that it had to do with her having the same eyes as her father. Kasai didn't blame her mother, her father was a strict man and had a temper as hot as his flames, but his eyes, they could freeze hell several times over.

Kasai knew she looked like a carbon copy of her mother, except she had her father's icy blue eyes, and her facial features were sharper compared to Rei's softer ones. If she really looked at herself, the girl found that she was more like her father than her mother. She had a temper, her gaze can make people freeze in their spots by how cold it was, she had an air of intensity that made people avoid her, and finally, she had a strong fire quirk like him. She found it amusing that her father failed to acknowledge her when she compared to him the most, and she hated it.

It sickened her.

She still yearned for his praise while he could care less about her.

So, Kasai really hoped that she can at least have one parent that was proud of her.

However, when the time to get ready for the day, Kasai procrastinated the effort of getting up. What would she talk about with her mother? Like how much she's a troublemaker, that she had a reputation for breaking the rules whilst growing up? How after all these years she never made a decent friend, at least a friend of normal standards? How she's in UA to become a hero, to prove her father wrong, to spite him? How she doesn't get along with her brother despite them being twins, how she dislikes him for having their father's attention? How about how she finds herself missing her oldest brother, Touya?

None of that will make her mother proud.

Who was she kidding, even she wasn't proud of her life. Her father was right, she is a disappointment. Who in their right mind finds breaking rules as an accomplishment? Also, no normal sibling hates another just because they're favored by their father, sure a little jealously here and there is normal, but to be completely hateful? She has no friends, she has a rival, but there's no genuine friends in her life. And why is she so angry all the time?

But hey, at least she's aware of how much of a disappointment she is, right?

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

KASAI STOOD IN the full compartment of the train, her left hand grasping the supporting handle above her as her right hand held a small vase of calla lilies. The white flowers themselves were aesthetically pretty and delicate, but they smelled quite nicely, a scent of sweetness. The train ride wasn't long by the time she reached her stop, a mere twenty minutes, but she was glad to quickly exit the cramped compartment.

Huffing, Kasai walked through the city streets towards the hospital. It wasn't exactly a hospital hospital, but more like a mental facility. She walked stiffly since she wanted to look nicely for her mother, which meant she wore a spring dress with stockings underneath. Though since she disliked being girly in any sense, she added her most favored oversized jacket on top of it. Huffing with unease, Kasai instead listens to the squeak of her shoes on the linoleum flooring as she enters the facility. 

Walking up to the front desk, the Todoroki girl catches the attention of one of the receptionist who gives her a warm, welcoming smile. 

"Hello, how may I help you today? Are you here to visit someone," the woman questions.

Kasai gives a tight smile, stuttering. "I uh, I'm here to visit m-my mother," she offers quietly. 

The woman nods, turning to her computer, "Her name?"

The teen clears her throat. "Todoroki Rei." 

The seconds that the woman spends typing in information seems to go on forever. Kasai can feel her heart beat erratically in her ears. Her stomach flutters now that she's here, the situation setting in stone, too late to turn back and leave. She's nervous and she hates that.

She hates not feeling confident.

"Ah, here she is. She's in room 1136," the receptionist informs with a small smile.

"Thanks," the pale haired girl nods in stiff appreciation.

With that in mind, Kasai turns on her heel - squeaking - and walks towards the directed room. Pushing her way through a set of double doors, she walks through another door for the stairs. The girl could have taken the elevator, but she's still feeling uneasy and wants to elongate the process of actually meeting her mother.

By means, the girl hasn't seen the woman for years.

However, the usually hot tempered girl eventually reached her mother's room. Inhaling a much needed breath to relax her racing heart, Kasai knocks on the door before sliding it open. Her breath freezes at the sight of her mother, heart stuttering.

"H-hey, mom," Kasai breathes nervously.

The Todoroki woman turns her gaze away from the window at her daughter's greeting. Upon seeing her youngest, the mother gives her a soft smile.

"Kasai, come in. It's nice to see you, you've grown up so beautiful," Rei says with a genuine smile.

The teen breathes out, finally relaxing once she sees the soft features on her mother's face. They're not avoidant, or resenting - it's kind.

"Tell me, how's school? Have you made any friends," the woman continues.

And like that, Kasai immediately tenses. She knows how her school life was and is like. She knows that she's never been friendly. The white haired girl can feel her mouth go dry as she struggles to find a response. She can feel herself becoming disheartened with the lack of what to say - that she was never the model student, the model daughter.

The teen gives a tight smile. "It's okay. My grades are perfect which are a relief. The classes at UA are nice. Everybody there is supportive, they're nice," Kasai informs, cringing a bit at her awkward wording. "For friends, I have only one... I think."

Rei nods at the explanation, but her brows softly furrow. "You think?"

Kasai winces, giving a tense half smile. "Well...to be exact, he's more of a rival, but we're starting to acknowledge each other as friends!" The girl says, quick to explain her situation with the certain ash blond.

There's a pause of awkward silence.

Rei sighs softly, giving her daughter a warm smile. "That's nice. Not everyone needs a whole group of friends, one is enough. Especially if you see each other as equals," the mother reassures.

The pale haired girl nods. "Yeah, we do. Though, that's because we're almost the same," she simply states, placing the small vase of flowers on the counter next to the single window.

"The same, how is that?"

Kasai frowns, turning towards her mother with sad eyes. "We're both hot tempered, angry, and mean. Even if I'm starting to see him as a friend, we still fight a lot. It's natural for us to be at each other's necks," she sighs.

"...Kasai-"

"You can just say it," the girl cuts off her mother, her frown deepening. "I'm too much like him, aren't I? I'm too much like dad? Everyone sees it. I know you're being nice right now, but I bet you can see it too, right? I must be disgusting to you," she responds, her turquoise eyes shining with angry, but also sad, tears.

Rei looks at her daughter, sad to see her in such a struggling state. She remembered Kasai as a happy child, always smiling with her siblings. However, the sight of her daughter right now is so much different, she can see the anger, the sadness, the exhaustion, how closed off she seems, the insecurity and most of it is directed to herself. Of course, Rei can see the similarities between her youngest and her husband.

They're their own enemies. They even deal with it the same way, lashing out on others.

"Kasai...yes, you're the same," Rei tells her daughter, who chokes out a sob. The mother gets up from her spot and towards the girl, placing her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "But you also have his best qualities. You're hardworking, your ambition is bright, you're very passionate and it shows. So, yes, you may be hot tempered and angry, but that just proves on how much you want to be better. And, who cares if you don't have friends, that shows that you don't need anyone, that you're independent and strong, that nobody needs to hold your hand," Rei tells her with a firm tone.

Kasai nods, listening to her mother as she buries herself deeper into the embrace. A much needed hug, to mend her back together, to heal her.

"I'm just so tired," Kasai softly cries, her hands clutching tightly to her mother's sweater. "I'm constantly overworking myself and it's still not enough to get noticed by him! I'm angry that he only has Shoto in his best interests, that he's always ignoring me and my efforts! I'm angry at myself because even when I know that he only cares about Shoto, I still try to get his approval! His attention! His praise! I have a strong quirk, too! I worked my ass off to get into UA and he still doesn't acknowledge me! I'm furious at Shoto and it disgusts me that I hate him! He's my brother for Kami's sake, my twin, but I still loathe him. It's always him! He gets the praise, he gets the attention, he got the recommendation to UA, a-and I get nothing," Kasai's voice breaks as tears stream down her face, finally letting everything out. "I-it hurts, it hurts to be constantly ignored and I'm tired of trying so hard for nothing."

"And I-I miss Touya! A-at least he would have never ignored me. He was always there for me and now he's gone," Kasai whimpers, not caring that she's freely expressing herself.

It's therapeutic to let everything out. She doesn't care that it took a short conversation with her mother to make her break down and cry. After all, she's held it in for years, the emotions bottling and simmering until they burst.

"That's because you're driving yourself insane for his approval when you don't need it. You don't need Enji's praise. You're perfectly fine without it. Kasai, if you want to be a hero, you can make that happen on your own," the mother tries to reassure, but Kasai has none of it.

"Of course, I need his praise and approval! He's the number two hero, he has the most crime arrests! He can help me further my skills for my quirk. You don't understand, he's literally one of the best heroes out there," Kasai yells, pulling back from her mother's embrace.

Her turquoise eyes narrow. "You don't get to say that I don't need his approval. You've been gone for years! I had to grow up alone with no parents supporting me! You're not a hero, you don't understand the stress of becoming one, but he does! He can make or break my future career, so you don't get to say that I don't need his approval," she seethes, her white hair flaring. "I know he's not the best person, but I modeled myself after him! You were gone! I don't even know what happened to Touya! Fuyumi and Natsuo had school! Shoto had his attention, but me, I was alone! I had no one! He was the only parent I had around! But I don't blame you, I can never blame you. I blame him, and I hate myself that I still look for his praise, his approval. It makes me sick."

Rei frowns at the realization. The truth in Kasai's life. It's true that everyone in their family had something, or had left, but the girl had nobody and nothing which allowed her to feel the heavy loneliness in her life. The emptiness. The mother wanted to hug and heal her daughter from all the scars she carried, but she can't. Especially when she had her own scarred soul to heal.

Rei reached out for her youngest child, but the girl stepped back, shaking her head - scolding herself.

"Kasai," the pale haired woman softly said.

The teen furiously shakes her head. "No, I- it was mistake coming here. I shouldn't have come here, I shouldn't have opened up. This messed things up even more, I-I can't do this. I can't rely on you! I can't rely on anyone because they always leave," Kasai turns away from her mother, heading for the door.

"Kasai, wait-"

"Enjoy the flowers, mom. They're your favorite," the girl says stiffly, eyes shining with angry tears.

With that done, the white haired teen walks out of the room, ignoring her mother's calls. She made a mistake in coming here, she can't trust on people to be there for her. She's made it this far on her own, why would she want to change that? Kasai hates herself for opening up, for being emotional, for being weak!

Why did she think seeing her mother was a good idea? Why would she open old wounds?

She set herself up for disappointment.

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

KASAI FINDS HERSELF sitting in a lone park bench, watching people stroll past her with no care in the world. The girl wishes she could be that nonchalant and carefree, but that's not her anymore. Not after Touya.

She truly misses her older brother and often finds herself wondering what ever happened to him. All she knows is that one day he was there in the house and the next he was gone, without a single trace. Did he get sick and no one noticed? Did he move away? Run away? Did he get in some sort of trouble? Did he die?

I can't think like that, she shakes her head. She can't even think about her role model, her idol, like that. It upsets her too much to even question it. Of course, Kasai loves her older siblings, but Touya was always much more. To her, he was the best. Her hero.

She sighs, feeling dejected.

As far as Kasai knows, today is a bad day for her. She woke up too early. There was no school. She visited her mother and saw for the first time in years, only for it to go badly. She's an emotional mess. She's thinking back to her early memories which only leaves her feeling sour. Especially, when it's about her brother.

She's exhausted. Mentally and emotionally drained.

And unbeknownst to her, the next coming days will be so much more to handle.

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Well, here's Chapter 8, a short update I know! But it was just a filler chapter for Kasai. Also, sorry for the prolonged wait.

Oop, Kasai went to see her mother! What did you think?

Kasai finally opened up, but she broke down. Does her anger/hot temper make sense now? How she's overworking herself and for nothing?

She knows Enji is not the best person but she still wants approval! I sense Kasai finally snapping at him in the future! You know what they say about applying too much pressure - they eventually snap!

I seriously need to add some Touya/Kasai memories, or flashbacks. I need the content! Oooh, I can't wait to write the Dabi/Touya scenes! 'Cause drama!!!

Anyways, don't forget to COMMENT! VOTE! AND FAN!!!

SAYONARA, My awesome and incredible readers! (Please take care of yourselves 🖤).

Word Count: 2,955

A/N: Please don't ask for updates, that only stresses me out more than I usually do. I know I take longer than other authors to update, but please be patient with me. That's all I ask. I know it comes from a good place, but the constant reminder to 'update' doesn't help.