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"Alright. Talk."

Jungkook sat a few feet away from him on his bed, fingers twitching as he sat restlessly. He didn't look up to make eye contact with the older, despite his want to look more confident than he felt inside. "You said that you wanted me to listen, and I'm ready to now."

"What do you want to hear first?" Jungkook asked, turning to finally face Jimin. He shed off his jacket, and Jimin couldn't help but scrunch up his nose at the smell of smoke that the jacket let off.

"Why?" The older sighed out, looking up to meet gazes with Jungkook. The air felt heavy, atmosphere weighing greatly on both of their chests. "Why did you feel the need to? To... Hurt yourself in the way that you did." He took the risk of sliding a tad bit closer, still leaving Jungkook with the personal space that he needed.

The younger of the two let out a deep sigh, rubbing his arms and causing the goosebumps there to disappear.

"Why." He repeated. "I guess that's the question that everybody wants to know right? Always the first one that comes to mind." He paused. "To be simple about it, I thought that I deserved it. I just... Hated everything about myself, no matter what it was." He flinched at first when he felt Jimin's hand on his arm, but quickly relaxed. "I really did want to die, but I was too sacred to, because I didn't know what happened after that. I didn't really believe in anything, so I didn't know what would happen to me."

He brought his hand up to rest on top of Jimin's, relishing in how warm the older's skin was. "By the time I found out that this whole soulmate thing..." He locked gazes with Jimin once more, "Wasn't complete lies, I was so addicted to the feeling that I couldn't stop. It was like a drug addict feeling withdrawal whenever I stopped, and I still do feel like that, which is why I picked up smoking to subdue it."

"But why does it have to be something that causes harm to you? Is it the pain that keeps you drawn to it or..." Jimin nibbled at his bottom lip. "Is it the feeling that you get from it? The feeling of pain usually spikes adrenaline doesn't it? The adrenaline will numb what you feel."

"I..." Jungkook's voice cracked, grip tightening on Jimin's hand. "I don't know?" He felt tears brim his eyes, and knew that they would spill over in seconds. "I don't even know why I do it but I can't function without it. How fucked up am I?" A single drop dripped down his face, sliding down his cheek and dripping off of his chin. It left a wet trail on Jungkook's skin, one that Jimin was wiping away with his thumb in seconds. He rested his hand on the younger face afterwards. "Maybe I am selfish, just like how you said I was."

"Jungkook-" Jimin began, quickly being cut off by the younger.

"No. I am." Jungkook shook his head, lifting his other hand up to intertwine his fingers with the hand that rested on his face. He leaned into Jimin's touch, tears wetting the skin of his palm as Jungkook's crying became harder. He seemed to hold onto Jimin's hand for dear life as weeped, tears transferring onto Jimin's skin and slipping down the older's wrist. "I kept doing it because I liked how it felt, despite knowing how much it would hurt you."

He took in a shaky breath, tears cascading down his face. Jimin felt the already present fractures in his heart crack at the seams, and he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the younger. Jungkook sobbed into his chest, fingers gripping at the fabric of Jimin shirt as he struggled to get a full breath in. "Selfish, selfish, selfish." He mumbled into the older's chest, Jimin's grip only tightening on him as he spoke the words.

"You're not." Jimin's voice was small, afraid that it would crack from the emotions that he felt if he raised it. "I was just so... Scared when I found out that you were my soulmate. I had convinced myself that I had to hate my soulmate, and that any other outcome would just hurt me further. When I found out that the person that I cared for so deeply was the person that I wanted myself to hate, it was just so overwhelming." He pulled Jungkook even closer, pulling the younger onto his lap so that he could hug the younger in a less awkward position. "It's such a conflicting thing, when your heart is telling you one thing and your brain is saying another."

Jungkook finally looked up, sniffling softly as a few tears still slipped down his face. "'How can I fall for someone who hurt me so badly?' I would ask myself. I still don't have an answer for that question, but all I know is that I fell for you because I got to see everything besides that and loved every by of it."

"How?" Jungkook's voice was raw, expression both pained and confused as he spoke. "How could you fall for someone who was always so gloomy? Somebody that could bring your mood down just by speaking... Somebody that lacked all of the happiness that you deserve to be around."

"I didn't." Jimin answered softly, locking gazes with Jungkook. "I fell for someone who made my heart flutter, and could brighten my entire day just by smiling. I fell for someone who's touch caused electricity to sizzle across my skin, and for someone who made all of my stress weigh just a bit lighter."

"I never thought that those words would be used to describe me." Jungkook responded, leaning into Jimin's touch when the older caressed the side of his face. "Can you really accept all of the bad just because of the tiny bit of good that I bring to you?"

"I can't leave you now." Jimin whispered, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against the younger's. "I thought I could, I wanted to, but it's like you're woven within my veins. If I try to rip you out of my life, I'm going to bleed out."

Jimin could feel Jungkook's breath against his lips, he could hear it as well, and it quickly became the only thing he was paying attention to. If Jungkook kept breathing then so would he, every breath was a reminder that the younger could have given up, but he didn't.

His thoughts were sliced through quickly when he felt Jungkook's lips on his; light, hesitant, barely there - but oh so noticeable. Jimin leaned forward further, curling his hand around Jungkook's as he pressed his lips against Jungkook's with more pressure, more need and desire. He tilted his head to the side, breathing his sharply when the younger sucked on his bottom lip.

Jungkook tasted like salt and cigarette smoke, the need to feel better dripping off of his actions as he let Jimin tug on his hair and lick into his mouth. It was an exchange of sadness as they kissed each other like they would die tomorrow, hoping truly and wholeheartedly that two negatives really did make a positive.

"You're still crying." Jimin commented when he moved his lips down to kiss at Jungkook's jawline. "Remember what I told you about that?"

"T-That you don't ever want to see me cry." Jungkook responded shakily, closing his eyes and gripping at Jimin's shoulders as the older nipped at his skin. "That if I cry you will too."

"I'm happy when you're happy, Jungkook." The older mumbled, moving his lips across Jungkook's collarbone and swirling his tongue across the skin. He couldn't help but note that even his skin tasted of cigarettes, giving Jimin a painful reminder that heartache ran through the younger's veins. "When you're sad, I can't bear it."

"But why?" Jungkook shifted his position so that his thighs straddled Jimin's hips, resting his arms around his shoulders. "Why isn't it just easy for you to dump me and find somebody who would make you happier?"

Jimin's hands wandered beneath the fabric of Jungkook's shirt, nuzzling his face into the crook of the younger's neck as his fingers ran over where he could tell that the skin had broken once before. His touch danced softly across the scars on Jungkook's skin, nudging the fabric up.

"I can't." Jimin breathed, moving his hands up and silently stripping the younger's shirt off of him. "It's not possible for me to find somebody who fills all of the empty spaces in my life." He turned and lay Jungkook down gently, kissing down his ribcage and paying close attention to let his lips linger on the scars there. "Only you can do that."

"But how can you forgive me for basically putting you through torture?" Jungkook's words were shaky, letting his eyes flutter shut as he felt Jimin's lips against his skin. He carded his fingers through Jimin's hair, allowing the strands to slip in between his fingers as the older worked his way up until their lips connected once more.

"Because you're a part of me, and hating you would mean hating myself for it." He silenced any other questions that Jungkook could've had with his lips, cupping the younger's face with both of his hands as he kissed Jungkook with the most passion he ever had. The younger gasped softly, letting out soft noises that fell hush against Jimin's lips. The taste of salt met Jimin's tongue once more, and the older couldn't help but frown.

"Why are you still crying?" He asked, leaning back. Jungkook shook his head and smiled softly, tangling his fingers in Jimin's hair and pulling him back in for another kiss.

"These tears..." He began, speaking against Jimin's lips. "I don't think they're of sadness anymore."

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