The harsh neon lights were driving me crazy. My body was shaking. But there was only one thing left for me to do. One thing that I dreaded. One thing that I had imagined to go down in a totally different way. But what else was new? I phoned Hayley and asked her to come to Blue Church straightaway.

"What's going on, Mum? Did you have an accident? Where are you? What happened?"

Hayley freaked out on me. After all, I had never asked anything like that of her before; and, to be fair, my wobbly voice wasn't helping, either.

"I'm fine, Hayley, I promise. I just need you to come now. Please, trust me. I'll explain everything as soon as you get here."

Unfortunately, asking her to come to me also meant telling her where exactly she would find me. As expected, this did not go down well with my daughter, either.

"The hospital?" she screeched. "What are you doing there? Mum?"

I have no idea how I managed it, but eventually I got her calm enough for her to be able to drive safely without me telling her anything. What I had to say had to be delivered in person.

Janie, who had turned up seconds after me, held my hand but didn't say a word. I hadn't needed to inform her about what had happened. As I said, Janie knew what was going on in her extended vicinity all the time.

I was sitting on this hard plastic hospital chair, waiting for some good news on Jaxson and also for my daughter to arrive, listening to the radio station that was playing in the background with half an ear. A few minutes ago, the news speaker had announced that the son of recently deceased Clayton Bowers, well-known business associate of entrepreneur Joseph Peinelt, had been rushed to hospital with a serious head injury. Circumstances still unknown.

"You are amazing, Tessa Winters!" Ben turned to me. "Jaxson is lucky to have you. You saved his life. Twice. In the space of a few hours! And Amy's and so many more!"

"No, I didn't. Without Jaxson, I would have just stood there, doing nothing. I froze, Ben!" I gulped.

"Ah, girl. That's okay. It must have been crazy scary. And you have no training! But you followed his instructions, even when that meant leaving him behind. That was not cowardly, lady, that is the toughest choice a soldier has to make. And not everyone can do it, despite hours of rigorous training. But you did it! And that is what saved his life and made sure that Amy is safe."

Ben's look of admiration and sudden eloquence soothed the guilt I was carrying somewhat, but the fire still burned. "Simon's bodyguards nearly killed him."

"But they didn't. Simon's attempts at keeping himself safe kind of backfired. Took the security guys more'n five minutes to remember the door was steel and that they had to go in the window that you had just gone out. Not the sharpest knives in the drawer, those two." Ben snorted with derision. "Jaxson is the toughest cookie I know. He'll bounce back."

The wild look in Ben's eyes told me that he was as scared as I was. Jaxson was strong, physically and mentally, that much was evident. But there was a limit for everybody. Jaxson's body and mind had taken so many hits, practically from the day he was born. What if his body had reached breaking point this time?

My mind went over the events of the day. After I had jumped out of Simon's window, knocking over the impressive collection of orchids someone had placed on the window sill, I had raced across Simon's lawn, mobile phone already glued to my ear. Lady Luck came to visit for a change or God hadn't unfriended me after all. Whatever the case, not only had Simon sent two of his four bodyguards after Amy, leaving only the two goons who, by then, were busy scratching Simon off the floor on the premises, which meant that I had free passage and only a small fence to scale, which I had nearly managed gracefully. I preferred grass-green trouser décor to blood-red anytime.

My feet had just hit the other side of the fence, when the call I had made connected. I sent a quick thanks to heaven that Chase had had the foresight to programme his number into my phone and that there was a signal. Having read many romantic thrillers in my time, a signal in a getaway situation was totally unexpected and thus exceptionally good news to me.

Further proof that this was not some sort of murder mystery novel came, when Chase picked up after the first ring. My reading experience had me braced for the mailbox.

"Speak!" Chase barked into the phone, sounding rather hostile, but now was not the time to educate him on his conversational skills to enhance his chances with the ladies - or lads, for that matter. I had only just met the guy. We hadn't had the chance to have a chat about sexual orientation or family planning yet.

I did as instructed. I told him everything, huffing and puffing, while I kept running. I had never called myself a runner, and this particular event proved me right. My lungs and my thighs competed for the 'Running is like menopause. You always feel that some body parts are burning up.'-Awards sticker. The words coming out of my mouth sounded like a really cheap and nasty rap song. I prayed that Chase was a magician and that he would manage to understand the gist of what was going on, mainly that his buddy needed rescuing – and fast. I cannot remember any of the actual words that I said, but I'm sure the coherence of my thoughts lacked something to be desired.

I also hoped I had sent him the right video, the little film that Jaxson's camera had sent straight to my phone, and that he would know that he needed to upload it all over social media as fast and as anonymously as possible.

"I'm on it!" Chase shouted, not asking for clarification at all. Then he slammed the phone down. Well, he pressed the red button on the mobile, I assume. Slamming phones down is a thing of the past now, I suppose.

Anyway, the next thing I know, my phone rang again.

"Ben is on his way to pick you up and drive you to the hospital. Jaxson has been rescued, but he's in rough shape." Chase had told me.

Ben had been true to his word, hence me sitting in the waiting room of the hospital Jaxson had been transported to. Nobody needed to tell me which hospital that was. Blue Church only had one.

"I might have killed a man, Ben," I whispered.

"No, you didn't, Tessa! Simon is very much alive. A few braincells short maybe, but alive. Don't forget, he deserved everything he got. He would have killed Jaxson."

I nodded, desperately trying to block out the image. I had already lost my lunch once, in the middle of Simon's lawn, and didn't fancy an eye-to-eye meet with the stomach acid that was left.

Simon was an arsehole. Turning him into a vegetable still felt wrong, especially when it was I facilitating the change. But before I could argue my point of view, the ward door opened and Hayley appeared.

"Mum, what is going on?" She sounded frantic, adding further to my guilt.

I squeezed her so hard I thought I might have broken her in half.

When I looked up, I noticed that Ben had left quietly, dragging Janie behind him before Hayley had had a chance to spot her. They were probably on their way to meet Chase and Alex downstairs, who had just pulled up outside the hospital, having dropped Josh off with his grandmother.

"There is something I have to tell you, sweetie. It's going to be hard to process, and you might hate me forever after that. Please, remember that I was younger than you are right now, and things were difficult for me. There is only one truth in my life, sweetheart, and that is that I love you with all my heart!" I took a deep breath and added, "And your father!"

My words cut Hayley to the quick. It broke my heart, knowing that I was responsible for her pain. But I couldn't stop. Once the truth started to peek through the veil of lies that I had created, it couldn't be contained any longer.

When I finally finished, there was silence.

"Will he want to see me?" she asked eventually, her voice wobbly.

My jaw dropped. It had taken her echoing Jax's words for me to realise how much they were really alike.

"He asked the same question about you," I answered honestly, hoping to establish a bond between them before they even met.

Hayley turned away from me, but she didn't leave. I took that as a good sign.

I was still trying to work out what I could say to Hayley, when the doctor rushed through the doors asking for Jaxson Bowers's family.

"He's my husband," I lied and stood up, my body giving Jax's shakes a run for their money.

"How is he?"

"He was lucky that the pair who beat him up were more occupied with saving their boss's life than taking his. His already injured leg still took a beating, but I'm fairly confident that with a lot of rest he won't need another operation. We are still waiting for some test results to find out about the current status of his MS, but it looks like he is stable at the moment. He has a mild concussion, a cracked rib and a fair few bruises, but those will heal. It will just take a while. Anyway, you can go see him now. Just you, though, and only for a little while. My patient is still very weak." With that he disappeared.

I looked at my daughter.

"Go, Mum. We'll sort everything out later!" she said.

My heart swelled. I could not have been prouder of her, had she found a collective cure for the common flu and cancer. I gave her a peck on the cheek and approached Jax's door on shaky legs.

"Hi, Babes!" Jaxson's voice was a little rough, but strong. "Come here!"

I looked at him and winced.

"I told them we were married," I explained.

Jax grinned, and it was a beautiful sight despite his sunken cheeks and the huge brace on his leg.

My eyes teared up. I rushed to his bed and gave him a kiss, careful not to hurt him.

"Hey, don't cry, babe. I know I buggered it all up. I shouldn't have let my brother get to me. I nearly signed your death warrant. I hope you'll forgive me one day."

I couldn't believe Jax was blaming himself when everything had been my fault. I had stolen Jaxon's element of surprise and had torpedoed his Plan A. Arguing about it would be useless, though, so I said, "Hayley is here. She knows."

Jaxson nearly catapulted himself off the bed. "Where is she? What did she say? Why isn't she here?"

I only just managed to calm him down but was unable to keep him in the bed. A tear escaped my eyes when he swung his good leg out of bed.

"There really is no need to cry, baby! I know my eyes are black and blue, but that will pass. I've been through much worse in the last few months. Honestly, I'm fine."

My heart broke thinking about what he had already been through.

"Please, Jax. Hayley is calmer than I thought she'd be, but she is processing things right now. You are high on pain meds. Give both of you some time, Jax. You will want to be clear-headed when you meet Hayley for the first time – and you will want to remember everything, won't you?"

My last argument, thankfully, deflated him. He wrestled himself back into the cushions.

"I had a quick word with the doctor. He's still waiting for some test results but..." I bit my lip.

"I wanted to tell you something about me anyway." He looked away from me. "I love you, Tess, you know that. But I am not... not long-term material. You wouldn't want..."

"... a man suffering from a disease like MS?" I helped him out.

Jaxson's head whipped back to me.

"You know?"

I nodded. "And it doesn't matter, Jax."

"Of course, it matters, Tessa! I might end up in a wheelchair. I don't want you to feel that you have to care for me. I'm not your responsibility, and I sure as shit don't want to be a burden." His voice was barely audible.

"For crying out loud, man, I love you! That's all that matters. Nobody knows how this disease will affect you. You might end up in a wheelchair, you might not. Guess what? I might get run over by a car tomorrow or in twenty years and end up in a wheelchair. Then what? Would you love me less then? Would you think I'm a burden then?"

"Of course not." Jax sounded sincere. He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. Then he reached for his phone with his other arm and fumbled with it for a second. He looked exhausted but full of energy at the same time, when his lips touched mine to the first notes of Mandy.

"I remember all my life

Raining down as cold as ice

Shadows of a man

A face through a window

Crying in the night

The night goes into..."

I cupped his cheek into my hand and closed my eyes.

"Climb in!" Jax whispered into my ear and scooted over to the edge of his narrow bed.

"I can't, Jax! It's not allowed, and I don't want to hurt you!" I protested, although my body craved his touch.

A wicked grin spread over his sunken cheeks, lighting up his eyes.

"The sex in Germany wasn't allowed, either, but look where it eventually got us. And I'm so jacked up on pain killers I wouldn't feel a thing even if a tank ran me over."

I kicked off my shoes and, very carefully, cuddled up next to him, making sure not to touch his leg or his ribcage.

Jaxson's arm tightened around me. "I could probably work around the cracked rib, but the leg... I'm sorry but going past first base will have to wait a little."

I stroked his hand that, reassuringly, was not trembling at all at the moment.

"I waited twenty years, Jaxson. And I'd wait another twenty for you if I had to."

In the background, the last lines of our song faded.

"And I need you today

Oh Mandy"

"I need you today, Tess, and every other day for the rest of my life. And I will never send you away again, I promise."