Dulu saya pernah terfikir saya tak nak bagi ending kat cerita ni as long as saya ada idea.

But things have changed.

Alasan saya nak put an end to this mungkin tak akan difahami semua and rasa macam childish, but do keep on reading kalau nak tahu kenapa saya nak cepat-cepat habiskan cerita ni.

Bismillah. Fuh.

Camne nak start eh?

Bila saya tengok dah banyak kat Wattpad cerita sama macam Cuddle — cerita pasal kisah seharian suami isteri, setting and storytelling pun sama, I got demotivated to continue this.

Ahahaha lemah en saya ni.

OK nak diceritakan lagi, those books got a huge recognition. Comparing yourself with others might be one of the worst things to do in life. Dan itulah apa yang saya pilih untuk buat. Kalau nak tahu setiapkali Cuddle hit a significant milestone saya akan tulis dalam notes kat phone. And bila bandingkan dengan milestone saya and mereka, they are thriving at such a fast pace while I'm still here — wondering if my books were losing its shine. Makin lama pun vote count makin slow.

Saya tak pernah tulis Cuddle dengan niat nak popular. Saya teringat saya tulis cerita ni sebab saya pernah minat sorang laki kat sekolah, and I write Fahri based on him. Tujuan saya tulis Cuddle memang untuk fantasize little fairytale imagination saya. And I love writing. So I thought why not? Saya ingat lagi saya publish waktu 2018 and during that time the most people would vote my chapter is 5 people. Hahaha.

Bila saya habis sekolah perasaan saya kat laki tu pun pudar, and then I keep on writing Cuddle cause its fun, and cause you guys are there. Seriously, saya tak pernah gesa korang comment atau vote cause for me, korang sudi baca satu chapter sampai habis pun mampu buat saya terharu sangat-sangat.

So, bila saya dah start kisah pasal reputation Cuddle, saya rasa motif utama saya tulis cerita ni melencong. Instead of for my own good, I did it so I can be at the top — which is unhealthy for me. Writing is supposed to be fun and healthy, not competitive and pressuring.

The only motivation saya untuk teruskan tulis ialah kamu semua yang tak jemu baca/vote/comment/add buku ni dalam reading list/follow saya.

Jadi, sebab itulah. Saya nak end cepat-cepat. Saya tak suka bila dapat tahu diri saya boleh jadi se-toxic ini. Saya tak suka bersaing. Saya tak suka bersangka buruk. Saya tak suka rasa anxious bila terfikirkan cerita lain yang sama konsep dengan Cuddle akan ada kat tahap sama dengan Cuddle. Saya tak suka tulis cerita ni kalau niat saya ialah untuk overpower cerita lain. That's pathetic of me.

I guess I'm not good with fame? Hahaha, sebab tu Flirt is a safer place for me to write, sebab tak ramai orang baca and tak dapat recognition sebanyak Cuddle. I guess I'm better off writing stories with plot rather than slice of life.

Kadang-kadang saya teringin sangat nak uninstall app ni sebab dahlah banyak bugs, and um entahlah. Rasa toxic. Tapi saya terfikir saya tak boleh uninstall selagi saya ada unfinished business kat dalam ni. Saya rasa macam terhutang korang satu ending yang boleh buat korang move on dari cerita ni.

OK itu dah beberapa reason. Reason yang lain ialah, I have too much on my plate this year and the upcoming years to come. I'm getting a Bachelor's degree and I'm struggling. My environment is not that healthy. My circumstances are far from dreamy. Dulunya saya tulis Cuddle untuk escape reality tapi makin lama rasa macam saya tak enjoy it as much. Dengan menamatkan cerita ni, mungkin saya boleh bernafas sedikit dan move on dan saya harap semua orang boleh move on juga.

To me, moving on is such a bittersweet thing one could do. An act of someone walking away from a past so sugary — that's one of the most courageous thing one could do. And I have faith in everyone, so let's move on together.

After this I'll rest but I do have a few drafts of a new book to be published pasal Faiq and Akmal, tapi itupun taktahulah akan publish ke tak sebab saya busy yang amat. If I have ideas maybe I'll publish a new chapter for Cuddle? But who knows hahaha manusia hanya mampu merancang.

Also, seeing we had reached almost 100 chapters pun buat saya terfikir, maybe it's time to put this to an end. Saya serabutlah tengok banyak sangat chapter panjang berjela hahaha.

And so, thank you for supporting this series!

Byebye, don't worry banyak lagi cerita luar sana macam Cuddle. You'll find a replacement real soon! I'm sure all of you guys pun ada banyak baca cerita lain yang sama dengan Cuddle ni. So it's not a complete loss. You have replacement, and I hope you enjoy it as much.

To those people who obviously writes after reading mine. Without informing, worse, without acknowledging me. Follow takde, vote takde, minta izin takde, reading list takde. Tuptup eh? Your story seems super familiar I wonder why? :D May you thrive, I guess?

While on the other hand those who writes and credits me, you guys are the sweetest and may you thrive in writing! (intonasi berbeza dari sebelum ni)

I'm not a good author so don't be like me, okay? :)

Dahlah rasa nak termuntah cakap pasal ni. Let's talk about the fun things.

Just like most romance fictions out there, saya harap korang suka Amirah and Fahri's happy ever after!

Sejak kebelakangan ni saya banyak baca buku sedih dan setiap ending walaupun happy, tetap buat saya menangis.

Saya harap korang semua pun rasa camtu bila habis baca. Rasa bittersweet. Rasa macam hati hancur, tapi buat korang tersenyum. Rasa macam nak berhenti dan melayan perasaan waktu hujan lebat, tapi sunshine yang pasti datang buat korang teruskan berjalan. Rasa macam kesunyian dan kesian tengok bulan pada langit malam tak berbintang, tapi korang tahu bulan dan bintang sebenarnya tak pernah berpisah.

No doubt, Cuddle is a huge part of my life. And moving on from it feels like tearing my own heart apart, just so that I can get a new heart to be called mine. Saya hentikan di sini sebab saya ada banyak lagi benda lain untuk look forward. It is indeed an important phase of my life. Dari menulis ni saya belajar banyak benda; tatabahasa, kosa kata bahasa Melayu semua saya perhati betul-betul, pengalaman dapat 1M reads hahaha, pengalaman kena plagiarize huhuhu, pengalaman itu ini semualah. And most importantly, saya banyak belajar dari readers yang sudi curahkan ilmu yang korang ada.

Saya nak readers semua anggap Cuddle ni macam safe place, jalan cerita ringan, tak ada conflict. Firasat buruk korang semua takleh pakai dalam cerita ni hahaha sebab semuanya macam dalam bubblegum dream. Filled with warmth and fondness. Bila baca pun rasa bubbly, cuddly, fluffy.

Sorry banyak masukkan unsur 18sx dalam ni ahahaha saya pun dah dewasa orangnya, kadang-kadang rasa benda ni remeh tapi sebenarnya tak elok huhuhu.

Saya harap korang tak pernah rasa terpaksa atau meluat baca cerita ni. If you do then please just stop.

Most importantly, terima kasih sudi curahkan cinta kepada Amirah dan Fahri. These two fictional people are also my bestfriends. And for me, they truly deserve each other. Both of them loves each other in spite of their imperfections.

Saya kadang-kadang terasa bila ada comment berbaur unsur kebencian kat Amirah, tapi takpelah that's just a minority of you. Personally saya suka sangat dengan orang macam Amirah and I adore her. Dalam imaginasi saya Amirah ni tersangatlah cantik, OK. Fahri ni untung gila dapat Amirah. Hahaha.

Amirah and Fahri may seem childish at time, but please know they are very matured.

I tried to write this as realistic as possible. Thankfully walaupun saya tak ada significant other, saya ada kakak dan abang ipar, saya ada anak buah, saya ada mak ayah. Dan every emotions portrayed by every characters in this story, saya relate betul-betul dengan apa yang saya rasa. Every real conversation I heard between married couples, I translated into this book.

Most of them are cliche, but you have to know cliches are so common in real life! Walaupun macam tak ada harapan kat lelaki dalam dunia ni but truly, the right one will find you.

And some of the scenes meninggikan expectation je, unfortunately that's also common in real life. Bila Fahri tak ada kat sisi Amirah waktu ayah dia sakit, it shows how some people really do having a hard time prioritising between things.

Ramai orang cakap cerita ni macam true story. Itu sebab saya buat semua character saya sesederhana yang mungkin, with a balance of imperfection and perfection. Amirah yang cantik ada otak lembab, Fahri yang tak handsome pulak geliga betul. Irsyad gentleman tapi annoying dan suka gosip. Akmal handsome dan kuat menyakat tapi agak sombong. Rinie kaya tapi mulut takde penapis. Ahahaha I love writing my characters.

Kalau korang nak baca POV Fahri boleh baca kat Flirt.

Other than that, I. Love. You. Each and every one of you. I pray that only happiness comes after you!

Thank you for reading! xxx

Cuddle © oddishh
nov 2018 — july 2022
All rights reserved