Chapter Two

Not Yourself

    There was a slight chill in the air as the seventh years filed into their last class of the week; the first week of school was just a mere hour from being finished. Dominique always sat in the exact centre of the classroom, Felicity or Ben sitting beside her; and for the first time in her life, Dominique Weasley had fallen asleep during a lesson.

“Ms. Weasley, kindly leave la la land behind and join the lesson once more, please.” Professor Pynon said, narrowing her suspiciously long eyebrows. Irene Pynon was the Muggle studies teacher, looked oddly like a heron and adored Dominique Weasley because she was the only student who had never fallen asleep in her class.

Raising her head slowly, Dominique blushed scarlet and nodded “My apologies Professor, it wont happen again.”

“Six years, Ms. Weasley-I had hope.” With that, Professor Pynon turned back to the board, blinking back tears-if Dominique Weasley could fall asleep in her class, then she must truly be a boring teacher.

~*~*~*~

            Outside the Muggle Studies class room, Dominique was hitting her head repeatedly against the stone wall as Felicity sniggered beside her.

“I can’t-believe-I fell-asleep.” She said between head hits, grimacing in pain from either her recent embarrassment or pain.

“Neither can I,” laughed Felicity “And I think you broke poor old Irene’s heart by doing so.”

“Don’t tell me that!” wailed Dominique “I like Professor Pynon; I don’t want to hurt her!”

“Well, besides that…are you okay, Dom?” asked Felicity, brown eyes wide “I mean…you’re looking very pale and thin…you don’t look like you.”

A silent thrill rushed through Dominique-Felicity thought she looked thin. Never in her life had someone referred to Dom as thin; it felt good and refreshing and satisfying. If someone life Felicity, who had the type of body that was just a perfect balance between flesh and bones, thought she was thin, than Dominique must be doing something right.

“Of course I look like me,” she said and stopped hitting her head; the two friends started to walk back to the common room together, cutting through a secret passage or two.

“Are you okay, though?”

“Of course I’m okay, I’m just stressed.” Dominique brushed it off, slung her arm through her friends and tugged her through the portrait hole “Now c’mon, let’s see if Ben will play charades with us.”

Still worried, Felicity nodded and followed Dominique through the portrait hole, wondering why her friend was lying to her.

            Leaves spiralled down from the trees in a complicated, kaleidoscope dance, covering the ground in a carpet of red, yellow and brown. Dominique, Felicity and Ben walked through the leaves, kicking them up into the air and occasionally twirling (Ben refused at first, but Dominique convinced him otherwise) and slowly making their way to HogsmeadeVillage.

“Where shall we go first?” Felicity asked, turning in a full circle to see the expanse of the village; they’d been there a hundred times before, yet it was still fun to get out of the castle.

“Honeydukes I think,” suggested Ben, and Felicity began to tug them in that direction. Dominique seemed to be struggling with something as they walked towards the sweet shop, but said nothing.

Once inside the shop, the three friends separated to their favourite parts; Ben was fascinated with the taffy that made you glow in the dark, Felicity liked the fizzy drinks that changed the colour of your hair and usually Dominique gravitated towards the chocolate. Today though, she hovered by the door.

“Dom?” Ben walked over to her, holding a bag of brightly coloured toffee “Aren’t you going to get anything?”

Dominique shook her head “Not today; I don’t feel like it.”

“Not even chocolate?”

“No.”

“Dominique Weasley doesn’t want chocolate?” Felicity asked, eyes wide “Why I thought I’d never see the day!”

“Haha, Fellie.” She sneered, crossing her arms.

“Really though, no chocolate?” Felicity and Ben were looking at her strangely, and Dominique hated it-they wouldn’t understand if she said she was trying to lose weight. They would laugh; tell her not to be stupid.

“I just don’t want anything, okay? Geez, you two aren’t my parents. Leave me alone, why don’t you?”

With that, Dominique stormed out of the shop, out into the blustery day.

~*~*~*~

            A harsh wind hit Dominique as she walked with her head down and hands shoved deep into her pockets. Her large grey knitted tam covered her ears, and her fiery red curls fell down her back; she fit in with the autumn scene easily.

‘They don’t understand,’ she thought ‘Felicity and Ben are both fit and attractive; no one would ever call them a freak. I’m just doing what I have to do, and I’m not going to stop.’

Catching sight of her friends up ahead, Dominique jumped into some bushes and peered out at them. Their heads were close together, and both looked worried.

“She’s not okay,” Felicity said, blinking rapidly “I’m worried, Ben; something’s not right!”

“I know Felicity,” said Ben, and Dominique saw the ripples of worry in his features-Ben was a sweetheart, but she’d never thought he would care so much about her. Not that there was anything for him to worry about, but it was still nice to know.

“What should we do?”

Ben narrowed his eyes, a sort of greyish blue-Dominique knew he stared at her sometimes with those eyes, but she brushed it off as him day dreaming with her in his line of sight. Plus, she was incredibly clumsy, and Ben was often there to catch her when she fell. “I think we should wait a bit, see if she starts eating more-who knows, maybe it’s a phase.”

“It’s not a phase!” Dominique hissed into the bushes, and as her friends began to walk away, she crawled out, pulling leaves and twigs from her hair. “Hey, guys!” she called, running to catch up with them.

Felicity and Ben turned to see Dominique running towards them, flushed and smiling-not at all like the pale, touchy girl they’d seen in Honeydukes.

“Shall we go get a butterbeer, maybe split a piece of pie?” she asked, linking arms with them.

“Sure?” Felicity said, sharing a glance with Ben. He shrugged lightly at her, looking at Dominique sideways; she looked normal, but Dom had always been a good actress.

            Ben had always liked the library. Against popular belief, he was actually a really good student; the large quantities of books relaxed him, reminded him that there was a life after Quidditch. Sure, he practically had a spot on whatever team he wanted after school, but he didn’t want to play Quidditch forever-people also didn’t seem to understand this.

Except Dominique.

Since their first year Ben had always been able to talk to Dominique, tell her things and confess that although he liked Quidditch, he didn’t want it to be his whole life. Somehow she had always understood, said all the right things and been the one who screamed the loudest when he made a save during a game.

Through the shelves he could see her, for once not studying but gazing out the window, chin in palm. Her hair was lit up like a fiery golden halo once again, and her blue eyes were like the sea in the sunlight. She was wearing some sort of long sweater and jeans, a grey tam atop her mass of curls-somehow she shone in comparison to every other girl Ben had ever seen.

Taking a deep breathe, he left the cover of the shelves and slid into the other side of the rounded booth, facing her.

“Hey.” He said, and she jumped.

“Oh, hey.” The far away look in her eyes vanished as she looked at him, sapphire eyes like jewels in the sunlight. “What’re you doing here?”

“Quidditch practise is over for the day.”

“Ah.”

They looked at each other for a few moments, Dominique’s head tilted slightly as they studied each other. Ben wanted to ask her a million questions at once and not say anything at all at the same time-he couldn’t seem to form the words.

“I’m okay, you know.” She said finally, barely moving-she was like a freckled, porcelain statue.

“But you’re not.” Ben’s fingers twitched-he was desperate to take her hand.

She didn’t blink as she looked at him; gaze unwavering-she’d always been able to do that, stare at him as if she could read his mind. Though if she could really read Ben’s mind, she’d know just how much he thought about taking her in his arms and kissing her, or how much he loved her freckles. “And why, may I ask, is that?”

Breaking his stare, Ben looked at his hands-then he looked at Dominique’s. She always wore black nail polish. He’d never known why, just that since third year she’d never been without it-it clashed with her nice girl, pastel and jeans look. She also always wore tall boots-another thing he loved and didn’t understand about her. “You’re not yourself, Dom. You don’t eat; Felicity says you’re constantly falling asleep while studying and you haven’t really smiled in weeks!”

Dominique’s eyes went cold as she began to gather her books, stuffing them in her bag carelessly and tossing her curls over her shoulder. Straightening, she glared at Ben with misty eyes-she didn’t know why she was crying, but somehow she couldn’t control it, and waves of grief just broke over her.

“I recommend you mind your own business, Benjamin.” She said quietly, looking anywhere but him. “And…and leave me alone.”

Ben watched her go, wondering for the millionth time how the brain of Dominique Weasley worked.

            Dominique hadn’t eaten that day, but somehow rushing to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom and heaving into her usual stall made her feel better. Of course nothing came up, but it was as if she could rid her system of the words Ben had said to her in the library.

“You’re not yourself, Dom. You don’t eat; Felicity says you’re constantly falling asleep while studying and you haven’t really smiled in weeks!”

Had she really not smiled in weeks? Walking out of the stall, Dominique stared into the sink and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand-it came back smeared red.

Eyes widening, she looked in the mirror to see her lips red with her own blood. Some of it had smeared onto her cheek when she’d wiped her mouth, and the effect was frightening-never had Dominique seen blood when throwing up. Captivated by the sight of her own blood, Dominique saw how pale her skin was, the blood covering her freckled right cheek. “Oh Merlin,” she whispered and ran the taps, splashing water on her face and washing out her mouth; it was red when she spit it out, swirling down into the sink like a river of red silk.

“I have to stop.” She said aloud, unable to rid her mind of the image of her own blood-it was to horrific. “I have to.”

Picking up her bag, Dominique turned to leave-but once again she knew that the moment she ate a bit of breakfast the next morning, she would make detour to the bathrooms. Dominique knew she couldn’t stop, not when she was still so far from being pretty.

A/N: I had this done LAST NIGHT, but my hotel decided they didn't want me to update...anyway, I'm back in istanbul (SADNESS) leaving Rome behind...*sigh*...I love Rome. And not just because my hotel had large quantities of bacon every morning. I miss bacon...

Anyway, QUESTION: Anyone else incredibly furstrated with Dom? I am. She doesn't see that sweetie Ben has feelings for her, can't or won't stop throwing up, and doesn't seem to care her best friends are worried about her! She also doesn't seem that worried about her health, either...

Also, I changed the actress who plays Dom; it USED to be Emma Stone, but I've changed it to Lily Cole. Also, I think I might want to change who plays Ben...any thoughts?

What did you think, too?

Rose<3