CHAPTER FIFTY: MEDICINE !

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CASEY HAD BEEN A LITTLE OFF THE LAST FEW CASES. Her attitude was changing, she was lashing out on families, losing her cool. The team had figured that maybe she was still reeling with the fact that JJ left.

This morning, she woke up with the worst hangover in the world. She had already been sleeping in her bathroom so all she had to do was sit up and puke in her toilet. Note to self: vodka and tequila do not mix well. Casey thought in her head.

Her phone had buzzed and Casey saw a message from Garcia saying that the team had been called in for a case. Groaning, Casey picked herself up and decided to take shower, washing the smell off of her so that no one would notice. She took a pill to help with her headache and brushed her teeth multiple times before getting dressed and heading off to work.

Casey took a sigh before leaving. She headed into her car and began to repeat to herself the same mantra she had been doing for the last month: Today is a new day. You will not go home and drink. You are a new you every single day. Alcohol is not your medicine to get better. You've got this. One step at a time. Casey had been trying to stay sober for the past few days. It was hard to do.

Casey parked in the lot and looked through her bag and found her mints. She had taken two and popped them into her mouth. It had been all she had ate in a week. That was another thing, she wasn't eating.

       She looked at her reflection in the rear view mirror and suddenly had the flashbacks to when Adam smacked her head across the bathroom mirror. To say that she was still dealing with what happened was the biggest understatement of the year.

Her encounter had gotten a lot worse since Billy Flynn. Alcohol was just making it worse. She knew it — but did she stop? At work, she would. She refused to drink when it came to work. She only drank at home and at home only.

      Casey looked into her rearview mirror and blinked and smiled. A fake smile wouldn't show the pain behind her mask. Especially not to her co-workers. With that, she decided to head into work.

       She had realized that she had showed up late when everyone had been in the round table room. Garcia was presenting the cases now, since JJ had left. She had completely tried to take over JJ's job but she realized she couldn't balance two things at once. She had somewhat taken over the job now.

       Everyone looked at Casey as she walked in and Casey had found a seat and quietly walked in. She cleared her throat, "Sorry I'm late." She apologized. Everyone knew that something was going on with her since she looked like a walking zombie, but no one had said anything.

       Garcia blinked and then continued: "Uh, as I was saying: Fiona Walker, she's been missing for nearly twenty-four hours. Same as Alicia Barnett and Dana Edwards right before they were both found at the Highway down the road in Indiana. They were both sexually assaulted and killed." The woman explained.

      "How is it all connected?" Emily asked. "Here's the eerie thing. The one thing that connects all of them is that all of the women were taken in broad daylight and all were seen getting into a taxi cab through the street cameras." Garcia explained.

      "A taxi cab?" Morgan asked. "Yes." Garcia nods. "That's how he's luring his victims," Hotch speaks. "He makes them think he's trustworthy and lures them in with his car."

      "So they'll instantaneously get in the car and not say a word about it." Emily told. "They think they're going to their destination but once they get in the car—" Rossi finishes: "They never get out."

       "He disguises himself and leaves evidence behind on the bodies. Sunglasses were found next to Alicia Barnett and a hat was found next to Dana Edwards." Reid stated, reading from the file. He took a notice to Casey, who seemed unfocused and not in the right state of mind.

       "He's not afraid if he's leaving the evidence behind. Wheels up in 20." Hotch told and stood up and began to leave. The rest of the table began to leave as well and Morgan seemed to take notice of Casey, as well.

        Casey was unfocused. She grabbed the file, her coffee and was about to head out the door when Morgan stopped her. "Hey, Ace." Casey stopped in her tracks. "You okay?"

        Casey shrugged, not trying to seem vulnerable to her team. "Yeah." She said. "You look tired." Reid pointed out and Casey shook her head and smiles: "I'm fine."

        "Are you sure?" Morgan asked and Casey turns over to Morgan, her smile fading a bit and she was already slightly annoyed. "I said I'm fine." She walked out of the office, leaving Morgan, Reid and Emily to themselves in the room.

       "Oh, she is definitely not fine." Emily stated. "You think?" Morgan questioned.

The team headed up to the jet, Casey was sitting by herself and had been going over the files and began to read more into it as they briefed. "My question is: why taxi cabs? He could use some other form of kidnapping. And why in broad daylight?" Morgan questioned.

"Could be his only form of transportation," Emily says. "And daylight makes it all the more risky." Rossi continues: "But why would he risk being caught?"

       "Could be the fact he doesn't care," Hotch tells. "Did the same thing with the evidence." Reid nods and sits up: "And he didn't drop Dana Edwards or Alicia Barnett in different places. He dropped them off at the same place. He could be close to the area where he ditches the bodies."

       "When we land, Morgan, Rossi, visit the dump site: see if anyone missed anything. Prentiss, go to morgue and see the bodies. The rest of us will go to the police station." Hotch groups up.

        Casey decides to speak up: "I'll set up the map, scope out geographical areas." Reid looks over at Casey, "I'll help you with that." Casey furrows her eyebrows. "What, you think I can't do it by myself?" She questioned.

        Everyone looks at Casey and Reid furrows his brows and then looks at Casey. "I never said that." Casey looks at Reid. "Isn't that what 'I'll help you with that' means?" She asks.

       Emily and Morgan look at one another as she speaks to Reid. Definitely dèjá vú.

       "Willows," Hotch speaks and Casey looks up at her boss. "Reid will help you."

        Casey sighs and sits back in her seat in defeat. "Fine," She says. "Since I can't do anything by myself nowadays." After that, the whole jet ride is silent.

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        Everyone had split off into groups and had all come back with new information about the taxi killer. They had been briefing over everything about the case. Casey took her jacket off and the room had suddenly gotten hot. She had been sweating like a pig.

        Her vision became a little blurry. Casey held her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. She exhaled, causing everyone to notice. "You okay, Willows?" Morgan asks.

        Casey looks up and nods: "Yeah, yeah. Just... feels a little stuffy... in here. I'm gonna go... get some air." She begins to walk out of the office and the room spins and Casey falls to the ground and everything goes black. The last thing she remembered had been Reid and Hotch calling her name.

        She had waken up with Reid and Rossi standing over and they carefully had her sit up and Emily brought a chair over to Casey so she could sit up properly. Reid kneeled to Casey's level on the chair and told Morgan to get Casey some water and Morgan immediately zoomed out of the room.

        Casey looks up at everyone. "I swear, I feel fine." She assures. "You just collapsed," Emily stated. "How do you call that fine?" Seconds later, Morgan comes back in the room. "Here, take this and drink this," He hands a cup of water to Casey. "You'll feel better."

      "You know, I really don't think I need—"

      "Drink the water." Reid practically ordered.

       Casey looks over at Reid and sighs: "Okay." She takes a sip of the water.

      Morgan looked at Reid and called him. "Kid." He nudged his head towards the door and Reid looks up at Casey before standing properly and leaving the room. Morgan looks around before speaking.

     "You know addiction better than anybody. She's going through withdrawals, isn't she?" Morgan questioned and Reid looked back in the room.

      "I think so, her heartbeat is quick, the non-stop sweating. Getting irritated with everybody and everything. If I didn't know better, I'd say she's going through the symptoms from alcohol and to add onto that, I don't think she's been eating." Reid explained.

      "Alcohol?" Morgan questions. "She's drinking?"

      "Can you blame her?" Reid asks. "I mean, after the month she's had, I'm surprised no one else is." With that, Reid walked back in the room.

        If anyone knew what Casey was truly going through, it was Reid. He knew addiction better than anyone. He spotted it on Casey as soon as she walked into the room at the BAU. It was like looking in the mirror.

         A night had passed and Casey had assured everyone that she was fine and that she could continue her job with no problems at all. That promise she made definitely backfired when Morgan and Casey went to go talk some things over with a witness working at a coffee shop that Casey was getting impatient with.

        The unsub had been in the same coffee shop and Casey had noticed and decided to try and chase him down for two blocks before she stopped him. She had caught up to him, which resulted in the unsub knocking her down since she was so much smaller than him.

         Casey had definitely scared the unsub off and Morgan was pissed at her for doing so. The rest of the team showed up at the spot where Casey had chased the unsub off. Afterwards, Casey and Morgan the whole ride back to the station couldn't stop arguing about occurred.

        "I was handling it, Morgan." Casey argued. "You of all people know how to handle a situation like that. Especially with someone like that." Morgan told.

      "Well, if you weren't going to chase him down, who was?" Casey told, getting in Morgan's face a bit but Morgan backed up and his eyebrows furrowed. He had taken a pause and Casey rolled her eyes. "What?" She asked.

      "You smell like alcohol." Morgan stated and Casey's heart dropped to her stomach as soon as Morgan had said that. Everyone had noticed and began to stare at Casey. "What?" She asked, scoffing at him to make it sound like he was being ridiculous.

"It's on your breath." Morgan told. Hotch steps in, "Casey. Are you drinking?"

"No!" Casey told. "No, I— Why would you say that?"

"You've been acting standoffish recently." Reid stated.

"That is not the reason," Casey said. "I am fine. And even if I was drinking, none of you would've cared."

Emily shook her head, trying to step in next. "Casey, that's not true."

Casey scoffed, "Oh, really? Did any of you care when Reid was taking dilaudid?" Reid stopped in his tracks at the sound of his name. "No, none of you even batted an eye." Everyone looked at Casey and she picked up the file on the table. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a job to do."

Before she walked out of the room, Casey looked at an uncomfortable Reid. It wasn't right of her to bring up what she brought up. "I'm sorry, Reid." She said before she walked out of the room.

Casey hadn't drank in days since they had gotten to Indiana for the case. She may had drank a little by mixing it up with her coffee but she only put a little in. She was doing fine now. She had been stable enough to drive herself to the nearby diner to figure some things out for herself. She began to work by herself there, trying to connect the killings together.

She had been focused on the task at hand but suddenly became distracted when she saw Reid walking up to the diner. Casey furrowed her brows and saw that Reid spotted her. "Casey..." Reid began.

Casey looked up at Reid as he decided to sit down. "I'm so sorry, Reid." She apologized. "I don't even know why I brought that up. I'm destroying everything today." She stated. Reid knew that right now Casey wasn't in the right mindset. "It's okay." He told.

      "No, it's not," Casey shook her head. "None of it is. I'm not okay." Reid began to think. He should've listened more to when Casey talked to him the night that Billy Flynn shot her. He should've said something.

       "Are you addicted to—"

       "No," Casey immediately interrupted. "No, I just... you remember that case... with Billy Flynn?"

       "How could I forget?" Reid questioned.

       "Well... after that night, when we got back, I started to drink. A drink turned into two, three, four. Who knows, maybe even over ten. But I remembered what you told me the week after..." Casey remembered going to visit the BAU after what happened to Reid and what happened to him. "You went back to your drug of choice after your accident. Me, I... I didn't want that because I knew that I could get addicted. So... drinking—"

        "Was your next best option." Reid finished and Casey nodded, "I figured that it didn't hurt. You know, a couple of drinks, I could still act normal. I'm not an alcoholic, I know I'm not. I can handle it... I just... on party nights, I can. Not on work nights. I'm not an alcoholic but... I do have a problem drinking. I just need something to get me through this. Because I still close my eyes and I still see that night and it replays over and over in my head." Casey explains.

         Reid looks at Casey's hand on the table and decided to hold her hand and look her in the eyes. He couldn't think of any advice to give her so the only thing he could tell her was: "It's gonna be okay."

          After calming her down a bit, Casey decided to head back to the police station. Everyone told her to take it easy and if they needed her, they would let her know. Casey had decided to go the vending machine for a snack. She needed something in her system. She had had enough of stupid breath mints and coffee.

         But to her luck, the stupid vending machine hadn't given her the snack she paid for. "Son of a—!" Casey began to hit the machine and became infuriated with it and Hotch seemed to notice and walked up to the girl after a conversation with the lead detective on the case.

         "Willows, why don't you go back to the hotel? We can call you when we're ready for you. I need you to be at your best and if you can't—" Casey interrupts Hotch. "Don't bother. I'm fine." She says.

        "Well, is there anything I can do?" Hotch asks. "Nothing, I'm fine." Casey assures. "Seriously, Casey, if there's anything you need—"

        Casey's patience ran thin. "Hotch, what I need you to do is to stop acting like you're my father because you're not my father. As a matter of fact, treat me like you would treat anyone, treat me like a damn colleague. Just stop treating me like that."

         Those words definitely infuriated Hotch. The fact that Casey had thought that he was trying to act like her father. He couldn't even be a father to Jack right now because of his job and here he was: fathering someone that wasn't even his child. If Casey didn't want his help, fine, she was an adult. He expected her to act like it.

        Hotch gave a stern look to Casey. "You want to be treated like a colleague? Fine. Go home. We will handle this case just fine without you. Get some rest, you look like you need it. And that's an order."

        Casey scoffed, "You can't just—"

       "Yes, I can."

        Casey could only glare at her boss and even that could result in her getting fired. She decided to take the heat. "You know what? Fine, I'll go home. One last person you have to deal with, right?"

       Casey began to walk away and Hotch began to speak again. "Great, take your attitude with you." Casey spun around and yelled: "Gladly!"

       Casey had decided to take the jet back to Quantico and the jet was in the middle of flying when Casey had forgotten something. She called Reid, thinking that maybe he was the only one that was on speaking terms with her.

       "Hello?" Reid asked. "Page 57." Casey spoke. "Uh, what?" He asked. "Page 57 in my files. His name is Joe Bradbury. His father was abusive and his mother took the abuse, that's why his targets are women in their late-thirties. His father had started him on his kills after witnessing him kill his own mother. He soon killed his own father. Have Garcia find the address to his house." Casey explained. "Guys, page 57 in Casey's files. That was just what we needed." There is some commotion over the phone.

       "Thanks, Casey." With that, Reid hangs up and Casey takes a sigh.

       In front of her had been her work that she needed to fill out. She turned to a blank page in her notebook and decided to write a letter to the team so they could read it on the jet. After that call with Reid, she realized that her job was so much more important than drinking and she couldn't jeopardize that. She began to write.

       "'I know that I've been acting a little haywire towards everybody and I want to apologize for that. It's just... everything's gotten a bit stressful with the PTSD, JJ leaving, I went to my only for support and that wasn't the right kind of support. I'm gonna get help. I'm gonna go to a therapist. I'm not gonna go to any AA meetings. Because I've been able to stop. So, the next best option for me is seeing a therapist. I put the team in jeopardy and I'm sorry for that. I'm gonna get help. And I assure to everyone, I'm gonna be fine. -Casey.'"

Casey decided to add a famous quote on the back of the paper and added: "'I wasn't given a second chance; Just so I could play it safe; Mediocrity can kill a man and I am done with dying.'"

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Casey had been at her apartment with no contact with anyone for the past three days. The girl had a blanket wrapped around her body as she looked around her apartment. She noticed all of the empty bottles from previous nights.

She knew she had to clean but somehow had no motivation to clean. She didn't really have any motivation to do anything. Casey plopped herself on her bed when suddenly there was a knock on the door. Casey groaned and stood up, shaking her blanket off of her and heading to the door.

The girl was in shock to see Hotch standing at her door. "Casey." Hotch started. "What are you doing here?" Casey questioned, standing tall.

Hotch had a whole speech planned in his head but as soon as Casey opened the door, it erased from his mind. "I know you don't like me," He told. "And you have every right not to like me."

"Glad we agree, now if you'll excuse me—" Casey begins to close the door but stops once Hotch continued. "I saw what your mother was doing," Casey took a pause. "I saw how neglected you would become, I saw her drive your father off, and I spent a lot of time beating myself up about that. But what does that do for you? Nothing."

Casey left the door alone and went to sit on the couch with a blank stare on her face. Hotch enters the apartment and closed it and looked at Casey. "I wasn't your advocate. I didn't fight for you. After she died, I let myself off the hook. I told myself I was young and didn't know any better, but I did know better. I wasn't much younger than you are now. I should've fought for you, Casey. But I told myself that I wasn't your father, that it wasn't my responsibility, that I was right not to butt in. I let myself off the hook."

Hotch slowly approached Casey and sat next to her. "You were helpless. You were a baby. And no one helped you." Casey closed her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

Casey helped back the sobs as her vision blurred and suddenly, she broke down and cried the hardest she had ever cried. Hotch held onto Casey and let her cry into his chest as she did so. That was all she needed. Someone to help her. It was what she needed most.

this sucks and literally some of it doesn't make sense but oh well

headcannon (that is very much real in my head) :
hotch helped casey clean the bottles in her apartment🥺

(y'all what's your best headcannon about this story i wanna hear some of them lmao)

anywayssss
i hope you guys liked this original :) i envisioned it to be something different in my head but it's okay it came out pretty good in the end 👍 can't wait for the next chapter!

-mya <33