Chapter 7 - Two of Swords, the Hanged Man, Eight of Swords

They didn't make it to Pagosa Cliffs that day or the next day. It wasn't until the weekend. Nick drove his truck following Adeline's van. He could see Erin sitting next to Cassie and he wondered if she would ever be well while thinking back to what their professor said while he was driving Nick to the ER to be with Erin. Nick realized Erin wouldn't give up on his family and Nick knew he wouldn't love him if he was the kind of person that did that. Nick knew he needed to talk to his grandparents about the way to help Cassie so that Erin would have the peace of mind to finish school. As they drove down Wolf Creek Pass and toward Pagosa Cliffs. Nick looked across the valley in the direction of the Rocking M ranch. It had been weeks since he visited home and he looked forward to spending some time in the place he called and would call home for his whole life. Nick followed the familiar turns to The Wild Anemone Bed and Breakfast Inn.

Adeline got out of the car first and went inside. Erin stayed in Adeline's van with his arms around Cassie. A few minutes later, Adeline was followed out by the elderly Miss Robinson. The century old innkeeper walked with surprising strength across the brown lawn, stepping around the few remaining snowdrifts to the largest cottage owned by the B&B. The traffic on the street was heavier than usual because the late spring weather was beautiful. Many people were out and about. Seeing Cassie with her head low, and shoulders shaking, Nick suddenly worried. He hurried to the van to see if Cassie would be able to stay here with all the noise. There were too many people walking around for her to get out of the car, despite Erin and Adeline's desperate coaxing.

"Come on, sis, it's just a few feet."

"I can't, they'll see me, they'll know I'm here." The memory of dozens of people in their Golden home while she cowered behind a tapestry and Shivonne hung dead in her room overwhelmed her. Many at the unauthorized party had even posted pictures of the rooms and her best friend's corpse, complimenting the Halloween decorations. Rationally, she knew these people meant her no harm, but her fear screamed at her to hide from them too.

"Do you want to go home?" Adeline asked with worry.

Nick looked at the two-bedroom cabin and then back to the crying Cassie before he turned to the old innkeeper. "Miss Elizabeth, if you don't mind, would it be better for Cassie to stay in the furthest back cottage?"

"It's only a one bedroom," Elizabeth answered but then she scowled and nodded. "It is the quietest and shielded from the street by the parking garage, other cottages, and the Anemone itself. The cottage is cold because I haven't turned on the heaters in there beyond keeping the water lines thawed but it will warm up quickly." She walked gingerly to the smallest cabin with Adeline following.

Nick put his hand on Cassie's knee, it jumped like a jackrabbit bouncing around on a full moon until he said, "Easy darlin', we're at The Wild Anemone. Do you want me to carry you inside?"

Cassie shivered but not because of the cool mountain air, her shaking was almost like someone about to have a seizure, but she stared at her clenched fists, trying not to look around at the cars driving by. She could stay here or go home; she couldn't make up her mind in her terrified state. She muttered, "There's too many." She chanted the phrase over and over again.

"Cassandra, look at me," Erin begged.

Raising her head slightly, she gave him a furtive glance, whispering, "They're going to come; they're going to hurt me. It's just like home."

"It's just your fear."

"No no no no."

Erin looked at him desperately, so Nick moved his hand and patted her clenched fists. "No one's going to hurt you, Cassie. Not here, not in Pagosa, these are my family friends. You're safe... You're safe here."

"I don't know what to do, Nick." She sobbed then looked up at him.

He smiled as gently as he could, using the voice his grandfather taught him to use with wounded animals. "Let me carry you to the small cottage in back, and then you can have a look around. Just hold your hands over your eyes and it will be fine. Just like when we got home from the hospital."

Cassie whimpered helplessly then she reached out one hand one arm and put it around Nick's neck as he leaned in. Closing her eyes, she allowed him to carry her toward the back and to the smallest of the Wild Anemone's cottages. Adeline opened the door so they could enter immediately then she shut it tight behind them. Erin was carrying Cassie's two bags and her cello case. Setting her on the floor next to her brother, Nick kept his hands on her shoulders, least she bolt.

Reassuringly, Erin took her hand, "It's okay, sis, you can look around now. If you don't want to stay, we'll find someplace else. It is your choice."

The smallest cabin only showed a view of the back of The Wild Anemone Bed and Breakfast, and the small pathway between it and the largest cottage out to the street where the beds of sleeping flowers were waiting for summer. There was a fence on the other two sides of the building and path past the other one-bedroom cabin to the parking shelter. Above the roofs and trees, she could see the mountains. Cassie skittishly walked around checking all of the rooms and the windows to make sure they locked. There was only one door in and out of the small cabin. Her hands trembled and her face held the sheen of sweat and tears as she said, "This is fine, this is fine, I can stay here. This is fine."

Adeline looked at Elizabeth and ask, "May I take the other one bedroom, the one next door so I can be close?"

Elizabeth nodded gently and then she held out her hands to Cassie, who cringed away at first before she made herself take them. Elizabeth smiled gently, assuring her, "Cassandra poppet, you are safe here. No one would dare hurt you at my Inn. No one would dare or they would have to deal with me."

Cassandra tremulously murmured, "Thank you miss Elizabeth, I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm so much trouble."

Elizabeth just squeezed her hands and then bent her aged frame to put a kiss on the back of each one. "Oh pish posh, you've been through such an ordeal. I've never heard of anyone as brave and strong as you to survive what you did. You just need some time and I'm happy that you came to spend your convalescence with me." The old innkeeper handed over the keys then looked at Adeline, "Come with me, young lady. I'll get you settled in the other cottage."

After Adeline and Elizabeth walked out, Erin looked at his sister, earnestly asking, "Are you sure you're going to be okay here? I'll stay if you need me to."

"This is fine," lying, Cassie refused his offer.

She couldn't ask anymore of her brother because she knew that he was already on the verge of failing out of school. If she put any more burden on him, he would. He had done so much for her over the last six months. She was here now, and her therapist had told her that she was the only one that could move her mind past her trauma, but she didn't know how. Hugging Erin, she looked out through the open curtains and down the path at the street.

Seeing her eyes go to the people walking by, Nick stepped forward and close the blinds. His tone was gentle as if he were dealing with a wounded animal when he said, "Darlin', don't stress yourself out. Your neighborhood back home was busier than all of Pagosa Cliffs on a holiday. He can't find you here, he doesn't even know you left and even if he came back, the house in Golden is just empty with no forwarding address."

"He's right, the house is empty except for Nick and I staying on the weekends." Erin agreed, adding, "And he won't follow us here because Nick's family lives here so it isn't strange at all that we would visit."

"I need to go get Miss Priss from the car," Cassie declared.

"I'll get her... Don't be afraid, I'll be back in a minute."

Leaving Erin and Cassie alone to retrieve the cat carrier, Nick slipped out of the door using his bulk to block the view of the street between The Wild Anemone and the large two-bedroom cabin. As he walked across the winter grass, he could see a few shoots of green starting and he wondered how soon it would be until all of the anemones and poppies planted in the raised beds would be grown and blooming again. Opening Adeline's van door he lifted out the carrier, apologizing, "Hello Miss Priss, sorry we left you."

The large, gray cat gave him a grumpy meow, and tolerated being toted back to the cabin. Nick knocked and waited before he went back inside. His heart said a silent prayer that Pagosa Cliffs would be the place to heal his love's sister.

~~~~

Erin stood there holding Cassie as Nick went to get the cat carrier from the car. His sister trembled like a frightened animal from being in a new place, but he knew that coming here would hopefully be the beginning of her healing. He couldn't stand the thought of her being this broken or imagine how she felt, and he swore to himself if the lunatic that attacked her and killed Shivonne ever showed up at his home that he would kill the man without hesitation. His sister didn't deserve this, no one did. Looking around the tiny cottage with its single bedroom no bigger than her recording room at their house in Golden, Erin joked, "Wow, we could just put the soundproofing foam on your bedroom and then you'd have a new studio. I bet the panels from home would even fit here."

Cassie cringed and then admitted, "I ruined them."

"How?" He looked at her in confusion.

She shrugged meekly. "It was after my final exams last week. I... I got a little upset and I may have, um, well, I damaged a few of them."

Erin appraised her carefully, that room was her most treasured place. "What happened?"

"I... They don't understand." She started sobbing. "They don't understand! My professors think that I can just get over everything and go back to studying and go on stage and... and... all those people and I... I can't!"

"I understand, sis, don't cry," Erin hugged her again, insisting, "You don't have to be afraid here. Just like Nick said Pagosa Cliffs is a good place. It's full of good people and you don't need to be afraid.

"But I am afraid, Erin, I'm afraid all of the time. The doctor says that only I can make it go away but I don't know how... I don't know what to do. I don't know." She trembled again and clung to him as if he were the only safe person in her world.

"Cassie, you have to hang on. That guy, he can't define the rest of your life. What happened to Shivonne," Erin reminded, "It wasn't your fault, it wasn't her fault, it was that Ike's fault. Not everyone in the world is evil."

Cassandra wept. She knew it was true, but it still enraged her what Shivonne did. "Shivonne invited him to come to our home. Who invites a stranger to their house to play a sex game? Who does that?!" Frustration boiled in her veins.

Erin couldn't answer for the dead. Information from the Police Department disturbed them all greatly, and Cassie most of all. There was nothing anyone could do because the discord chats between Shivonne and the person named Ike had all but disappeared with her laptop, and they didn't know how else Shivonne and her murderer communicated. With her phone missing, the only other lead the police had was text messages to and from a burner phone which was no longer active. A phone that had been purchased in Washington state. There were no leads and no clue as to why the killer had come to their house and acted out a scene from Shivonne's favorite romance novel. Six months passed, six difficult months, and the police were no closer to getting justice for Shivonne or Cassandra.

Erin patted her and stepped back to open the door as he heard the knock. He tried to lighten the mood, "Look, Nick brought her highness, you better get the queen's approval of this place because the queen has the final say."

Cassie giggled weakly, then bent to one knee, cooing to her cat as she opened the cat carrier door. "It's okay, Miss Priss."

Erin shared a worried glance with him, but Nick furrowed his brow and nodded his head slightly, it was the only way he could say, it will be alright without actually speaking while Cassandra followed the cat through the house, talking about them having a vacation and an adventure. The cat smelled everything and purred or meow or hissed at different places. Erin watched helplessly because his sister seemed almost delusional as she talked about places to hide from the people around. With Erin's look of distress becoming more and more pronounced, Nick put his arm around his shoulders.

Squeezing as he kissed his boyfriend on the temple, then murmuring, "It will be fine. She'll be safe here. She will realize it and get better."

Erin could only nod; he was fighting to keep the tears from leaking from his eyes and he knew his voice would not work to reassure her. They had brought his sister to Pagosa for the hope of healing, but they didn't know how or when she would be well.

Later as Nick drove Erin out to the Rocking M Ranch to meet Doc McConnell as everyone called the only Veterinarian in the county. He pointed out this landmark and that scenic spot, then waved at his cousin Lloyd who was just leaving for his nightshift with the Pagosa County Sheriff's Office.

"How could you ever leave this place?" Erin asked in awe.

"I left for school, but I always planned on coming back." Nick reached over and squeezed his hand as he parked in front of the McConnell Veternary Clinic for Large and Small Animals. "I hope you'll come back with me." He sucked at his bottom lip, worrying it with his teeth.

Erin reached up and pulled it free with his thumb. "I'd like that."

Grinning, Nick glanced out then opened the door. "Come, meet my grandparents and have a look at our future."

~~~~

Cassie wandered around the tiny cottage, again. It was the middle of the night. She slipped outside and sat on the porch. The streetlights wrapped the town in a welcoming, warm glow and she could see the stars, bright like diamonds in the dark night. She trembled from the cool air, then Miss Priss crawled into her lap. The warmth of the giant cat was comforting.

"I don't know what to do, Miss Priss. I don't know how to be afraid."

She thought about this morning's tarot cards. The Two of Swords, a blindfolded woman balancing two swords representing two choices she couldn't see to choose between and two ravens flying in opposite directions. To stay at home where Shivonne's killer might find her again, or to stay in Pagosa Cliffs, where a new person might hurt her. The Hanged Man was the need to look at her problem from a new perspective and find a solution she hadn't considered. Then lastly, she had turned the Eight of Swords over. Again the blindfolded woman stood in the center of the card, loosely bound by ravens holding ribbons and surrounded by eight sharp swords. Cassie trembled with tears running down her face. She seemed to be pulling that particular card at least twice a week. She knew the swords and ravens were her fears and lost dreams, because even though the ribbons were loose and the swords were far enough apart, she could escape if she wanted to. She was that card. A woman choosing her captivity rather than risk harm to herself.

Looking up, she saw a shooting star streak across the pristine sky and felt her hope for a moment in its fiery beauty. A truck approached the Inn so Cassie rushed inside and locked the door. She went into the bedroom and locked that door. She stared at the closet wondering if she could sleep sitting up in the tiny space, but Miss Priss jumped on the bed and purred as she laid down. The cat scolded Cassie with a grumpy meow, so the terrified human curled around her cat and cried herself to sleep.