***Trigger warning-> mention/talk of grooming and SA***

Chapter 9

He's quiet as they shower. Not quiet in the normal, zen way she's feeling after that hot session but more in a contemplative way. She's not sure what's up with that but it's too soon for her to start freaking out. Nothing's ruining her high for now. Stepping out of the stream of warm water, she grabs a towel and asks if she can borrow some of his clothes. He gives her a nod and tips his head up to the water. Clearly, he's in the mood to brood.

Emery puts back on her t-shirt and riffles through Dane's drawers for a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. Towel drying her hair, she stuffs her clothes into her bag. Going commando isn't so natural for her but Em's comfier in Dane's clothes than the tiny scraps of fabric she'd put herself in for the sake of vanity. She's returning to the bedroom when Dane's tugging on a similar pair of sweatpants in a different colour.

"Dane?" she calls as he closes the drawer.
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"

Her question is meant with silence. Moving towards him, hand on his back, she asks again.
"I will be. Just got some stuff to work out in my head."
What the hell does that mean? Her confusion must be apparent because when he shifts around to face her, his hand goes to her cheek.

"Not about you, Honey Bee. Not about us either baby. Just me. I need some time to think."
That confusion twists into worry. Did something happen? Did she break him somehow?

"Dane..."
"Em please. Not tonight, baby."

*****



There's a call of her name from the dimly lit lounge. Emery follows it from the foyer and is hit with the sight of her mom in lounge clothes reading a book, wine on the table. Alcohol in general doesn't do all that much for werewolves but with enough a small buzz can be created.


Em's heard rumours from the pack meets that there is a special type of berry or plant that can be distilled to give the same inhibition as alcohol does for humans, but she's never seen or tried it herself.

"You have a good time, honey?" asks her mother with a soft smile.
Emery rounds the couch and a takes a seat next to her, bag hitting the floor as she does.
"Yeah, it was nice."
"Yeah? What did you guys get up to?"
It's not a prying or suspicious question. Her mom's just making conversation. Emery snuggles up next to her with her head resting on the other woman's shoulder.
"He made me dinner and then we uh, we just a watched a movie."

There's a pause and then with amusement heavy in her tone, Tory rhetorically asks, "oh really? And did your clothes change and expand during this movie?"

Emery's head shoots up as she gasps and searches for a plausible lie.
"Ah-mom! N-no. I just...I got cold. And Dane let me borrow this."
Her mom's not exactly buying it. Em can tell when one carefully plucked eyebrow raises as does the corners of her lips.
"And your wet hair was just a magic flash storm was it?"
Busted. Totally busted.


Even after a few minutes of racking her brain she's got nothing to explain that. With a defeated sigh, Em faces the music.


"Okay you got me. We-"
"Nope," interrupts her mom with both hands up, "I was just teasing you sweetie. Unless it's something you want to talk about, you don't have to. Whatever intimate things happen between you and your boyfriend is your business and you can share as much or as little with me as you want. As long as you are safe and happy, that's all that matters to me."

Maybe it's the endorphins still running through her system or maybe she's just tired but for whatever reason Emery's heart turns to mush as she fights back the tears. Seriously, she has to have the most awesome mom ever.


Giving her mom a deep side hug, Emery whispers, "thanks mom. For being like the best mom ever. I love you."
Her mother simply chuckles and kisses her damp head returning the sentiment.
"Love you too, my baby girl."

**********

Dane's quieter than normal at school the next couple of days. Emery let him be the first day, figuring he'd talk when he's ready. Besides she had other fish to fry. Handing in her late assignment to Mr. Grant had been a truly humiliating experience even as she'd done it at the end of the class to minimise the strong emotion. Of course, despite her best effort Charlotte and Diana were there to witness it and make some scathing remarks. Em shook it off, her concern for Dane outweighing whatever mean-girl shit Charlotte's trying to start.

She's sat with her 'friends' that Friday for lunch. Although she doesn't mind Dane's friends anymore, she's not totally comfortable with them and alternating between sitting with them and sitting with her regular crowd seemed to be a good solution. She wouldn't class the people she sits with as actual friends, they're nice enough and they all share common interests but it's not like they hang out after school or talk about deep, personal stuff with each other.



After a moment of silence one of them braves to ask a distracted Emery, "so is it over with you and the jock?"
Em tears her unhappy gaze away from the popular kids table where her boyfriend sits.
"Hm? Oh. No. No, we're still together, why?"
There's an exchange of gazes before the same girl confesses, "you're both so different. We thought it'd just run its course, you know? Not in a bad way! Just...drifting apart."


Yeah, it's true. Her and Dane are very different but that's never made her feel disconnected from him.
Or rather, he's never made her feel disconnected because of it.
He watches regency era films with her just as she watches sports with him. Granted her watching those sports shows is a half-hearted attempt since she usually has a book with her too. He's not into the same things as she is and vice versa but she likes to think they're both willing to listen and be supportive of each other. They're definitely not drifting apart. At least not because of their differences.


Emery gives a definitive shake of her head.
"No. We're good. Concentrating more on school is all."
The others nod in understanding. Yeah, they get the importance of the looming finals.

***********

As lunch ends, Emery's already sent the text to Dane, her mind made up. She'll give him time if that's what he wants but he's going to have to give her something to go off. She's done seeing him tear himself apart from whatever is going on in his head.

She sees Dane read the message, wait a moment in contemplation before typing on back. Her phone dings instantly with it.
Two letters.
O. K. 

She'd asked for them to meet up in the evening at her place. He'd already said he'd be with some of his friends after school and she's not imposing on that, especially since he made those plans thinking she'd be working tonight.
She's not.
The owner of the restaurant's family has some event so they're closed for the evening and the weekend. So his and her evening is free and it's time they figure this out before it drags over into the weekend and then next week and the next until however long. Her mom's cool. She'd be okay with it.

Emery's thinking on how she can get him talking when a someone jostles against her. It's a small shoulder bump, a little friendly actually and the perpetrator falls in step with her. Em turns in surprise to find it to be Kate.

"Kate. Uh hi?"
Emery's spoken to Kate before but only ever in a group setting. At first she'd been a little cold and distant though now it seems the girl has warmed up to her. Even at pack meets now, Kate gives Emery a smile and waves her over to join whatever group she's in.
"You're obviously going to Prom right?"
Opening her locker gives her an excuse to regroup. She hadn't been expecting that question at all. Something to do with class work or pack business or even Dane would be more in line with their relationship.

"I'm not sure. I wasn't planning on before but now...maybe."
Before she didn't have a boyfriend. Or friends she'd want to hang out with at the event. Now it's beginning to sound more appealing. Wearing a dress and getting glamourous has always been exciting to her but that had been followed with the nauseating thought of spending the evening in the background. Maybe that won't be the case anymore.

"Now that you have a hot boyfriend?" teases Kate causing Emery to crack a smile.
"No," denies Em half-heartedly. That helps sure, but it's not the only reason.
"Not just because of that. Besides, he hasn't asked me yet. Not properly anyway."
Em shuts her locker and walks with Kate to hers which isn't exactly far so they can carry on talking.
"Anyway, why are you asking?"

"Well, I was just...wondering."
That doesn't sound so certain but Emery's not going to push her.
"Okay-"
"Alright, I wasn't just wondering. I...God, this is going to sound stupid..."
"Kate. It's me. You literally have nothing to lose. Who am I telling?"
The blonde laughs and shuts her locker, leaning against it before letting out a short exhale.

"I want to go. But not with the other cheer girls. How they're planning it...I don't like it. It's not for me. They've got this list of what dresses they're wearing and if more than 3 people don't like it, you're not allowed to buy it or wear it and no one's allowed to wear the same shade. Also everyone's got to have a date that's a guy who's only allowed to be between 2-5 inches taller than you in heels. It's just too much! So many rules!"

Kate breaks off making a frustrated growl and tipping her head back against the metal.

"But you haven't heard my rules yet."
She couldn't help it. It's just too easy.

Kate's head snaps back down as her eyes go wide. That breaks Em. She bursts out into laughter causing even Kate to join in from relief.

"I'm kidding, obviously. I don't have any conditions like that. I haven't even thought about Prom but I am sure about one thing; you can wear what you want and bring whoever."
Kate smiles back in response before it dims slightly.
"You'd be okay with me bringing anyone as my date?" clarifies Kate.
Em shoots her a confused look about to ask what Kate means by that when the bell rings. There's a rush in hallway but before she's swallowed by the crowds and rushing to her class he manages to reassure her new friend.

 "Yeah of course. Anyone Kate."

******************************

She's finishing up her homework when the front door opens and a little while later she hears her mom's footsteps up the stairs.

Wondering into her mom's room, Emery leans against the doorframe and watches as her mom dumps her jewellery on the vanity in between taking sips of coffee.
"Hey mom," she calls.
"Hey honey," distractedly replies Tory.
Emery's about to bring up having Dane over when she spots the muffin on the desk at which her mother has taken a bite of already.
"Is that blueberry?" she instead asks.
"Huh? Oh yeah, I stopped to get coffee and picked it up-"
"Did you get me one?"


Her mother looks over from the open wardrobe and grins at her only daughter.
"Of course. It's down in the kitchen."
"Awesome," beams Emery, "thanks mom. By the way, is it cool if Dane comes over tonight? I sort of already said yes so please?"

Rather than give a her a throwaway 'sure' or other noise of agreement, Tory turns to give Emery her full attention and frowns slightly.
"Sweetie, tonight's not great maybe-"
"Why not? Please mom. I'd totally reschedule but he and I...we kinda need to talk. It's important."
That frown turns to concern as her mom walks over to her and pushes back her hair from her face. That gesture so sweet, makes Em feel like she's a kid again. Her mom would do that followed by a kiss on her forehead and deep hug that would all just make Em feel like everything's going to be okay. Like the world is still and perfect for just a moment.

This time her mom doesn't hug her or kiss her forehead but she does cup her cheek for a moment before dropping it.

"What's going on?"
"That's what I want to find out."

There's another pregnant pause as Em watches her mom battle with her decision. Finally, with a small sigh Tory's shoulders drop as she voices what she knew the second her daughter asked her for something.

"Fine."

For that Tory gets a squeal and a short, tight hug which brings a grin to her face. Since the day she was born, Tory's tried to give her daughter the world. That's not to say she's spoilt Emery but Em had learnt way too young that her mom's struggled to provide so what little Tory can give to her daughter she does.
She has rules and boundaries of course though Emery rarely asks much from her that Tory's learnt that when she does, it's very important to her. Dane is very important to her. Tory likes him, she really does and she's fine with them spending time alone together. It's just that first love can be a real whirlwind and so all-consuming that she doesn't want Emery to lose herself in that.

"Okay I'm short on time, honey. I've got to get ready," mutters Tory, piling her hair on top of her head with and securing it with a hair band before grabbing her robe.
"Ready for what? Where are you going?" her daughter questions her as she makes her way to the bathroom they share in their small 2 bed house.
"My date, of course. I'm sure I told you."

 

Emery gasps, "oh my god! The coffee shop guy right? I thought that was next weekend?"
Tory peaks over from behind the bathroom door and shakes her head with a nervous smile.
"Nope, this weekend," she replies and disappears to do her date preparation.




********

Fresh, clean and smelling good, Tory's surprised when her daughter decides to help her pick out a first date outfit. It's been too long since she's done this and the butterflies have certainly emerged. They're not ready for battle on her insides just yet but the countdown is on. It's not James exactly. She already knows he's handsome and the time they've spent talking on the phone just confirms to her that he's a confident, happy go lucky type of man.
Any question she's asked, he's answered in a straight-forward manner meaning no alarm bells have gone off in her. Of course, that could all be because of distance.
What if at dinner the conversation stills? What if he realises she's not quiet to be all mysterious but because she really is like that? What if he wants sex tonight?


That last thought alone is enough to want to make her hyperventilate. Not that she's dreading the idea of that. As she said, James is a very good-looking man but they haven't done any heavy flirting so she has no hints as to what's under that exterior of sweet charm. She's not even sure she knows how what kind of lover she is anymore. It's been too long. She's thought about it of course. Finding someone to scratch that itch but then something or other had come up and she'd been forced to divert that energy somewhere else.

Tory forces herself to take a breath. It's a first date. They're not going to have sex...probably. She doesn't know the rules anymore but she's pretty confident it's still no sex on the first date. At least not with someone you want to be serious with.

"What do you think? Are the earrings too much?"

The dangling, thin, silver sparkling accessory is eye-catching which is not exactly her style but they're so pretty she couldn't help it. They go well with the black, midi dress she's wearing too.
"Not at all. You look amazing mom. Really," reassures Emery who had very kindly, twisted her hair in the back into some sort of updo. It's clipped to her head with a big claw clip with the ends dangling over the clip and some of her peskier, shorter strands slipping out to curve around her face. Her make up is heavier than her usual with the addition of a smoky eye but not over the top since those skills are also a little rusty and she doesn't have time to wash off and restart.
"Thanks Em-"

She just about manages to give her daughter's hand a squeeze before being interrupted by the doorbell.

 

"Dane's here!" chirps her daughter, tearing away her hand and racing down to get the door.

Any other day Tory might be irritated by just how quickly her daughter's attention can be ripped away when it comes to her boyfriend, but today, she's feeling generous. Hopefully some of their young love luck will somehow rub off onto her.

Thankfully they're not lip locked when Tory makes it down the stairs.
"Dane," she greets him with a light hug and kiss of his cheek.

Oops, she'd forgot Emery had insisted on coating her lips with lip gloss. Rubbing away the slight mark, Tory gives the boy-man a smile.
He tries to return it but it doesn't quite meet his eyes, not like the last time she saw him.

 
"Hi, Ma'am. Thank you for inviting me for dinner. You look beautiful. But um, are you going somewhere?"
"Thank you, sweetheart. Emery didn't tell you? I'm uh, I'm going out...on a date."
"Yeah," contributes Emery, linking her arm through her mother's, "his name's James. They met at a coffee shop and they've been talking ever since. Right mom?"

Tory's eyes reluctantly go from her daughter's boyfriend who's expression turns weary to her daughter who beams at her.
"Yeah, that's right Em. So, I'll be out all evening. There's one of those taco packet mixes you can both make for dinner on the table and everything else in the fridge. Help yourselves to whatever and call if anything's wrong. I'll have my phone on me. Dane? Everything okay?"

Dane looks pensive, silent at the question until he decides how to voice his thoughts.
"How much do you know about this guy?"
Tory blinks in surprise. She hadn't been expecting that.

"Enough to want to find out more but also know he's who he says he is," slowly responds Tory.

What the hell is going on?
Dane makes a noise to say he's unconvinced.
"Where are you meeting him? Somewhere public right?"
Tory exchanges a glance with her daughter who's just as surprised as she is.
"Yes of course. We're going for dinner. In a public restaurant in the centre of the city. Is that okay with you?"
That last question is tinged with sarcasm and rhetorical. Tory's not trying to be rude but she's not sure she appreciates the inquisition.

"Which restaurant? You should text Em when you get there and when you leave. Or better yet, maybe you should reschedule for the daytime-"
"Dane, honey," interrupts Tory with a short laugh. She places her hand on the tense arm of the teenage boy and gives an amused smile. This is just too sweet. He's about a decade and a half younger than her and is talking like a concerned father or brother.
"I appreciate your interest in my dating life but I assure you, I'll be okay. It might have been a while and I might be a little rusty but I do know how to keep myself safe. I'm doing well so far."

"Of course Ma'am I wasn't trying to uh, insult you. It's just the way my dad raised me you see. I guess he gave me some old-fashioned values. And with it being just you and Em, I feel a responsibility or a sense of protectiveness I suppose. I hope I didn't overstep."

Tory relaxes again as she feels touched by his good intentions. She considers herself a pretty strong, independent woman. She had to be to raise a child by herself so the notion of a boy who's barely a man looking out for her should be laughable and offensive. Except she doesn't think so. It's sweet and makes her all the more confident in knowing her daughter's got a good one.

"You didn't. Absolutely not. But I should get going. You kids be good alright. No wild parties please. No-"
"Mom," groans Emery, gently pushing her mother out the open front door, "we're good, we'll be good. Now please just stop worrying and go have fun."

Grumbling something else about not burning down the house, Tory slips into her car and pulls out, giving Dane and Emery a small wave who see her off.

**********

As the front door closes Em looks to Dane as he looks to her. His expression is blank and weary which puts Emery on edge slightly. Should she bring up his weirdness now? Or later? Or ideally, never if she could have it her way and he'll just snap out of it.
He silently waits and as the nerves get the better of her, Emery pastes on a smile.
"Hungry?"
There's a flash of relief in his expression that in turn eases some of her anxiety. Okay maybe they can enjoy some normality first before getting into the deep stuff.
"Yeah I could eat."

This time her smile is genuine.

*************

Dane helps her cook their dinner. She's a passable cook but he's surprisingly good. Or not so surprising she guesses from the times he's cooked for her she shouldn't be shocked by now. Though she hadn't expected the standard box taco meal to taste any better than usual, he somehow found a way. They eat and wash up, Em pulling out the ice-cream and 2 spoons before they settle in front of the TV. Cuddled up next to him, a rerun sitcom episode playing she feels him finally start to fully relax.

"Hey," he softly says, "did your mom check in with you?"
Em blinks at him surprise at the question but nonetheless answers.
"Yeah, she texted. She got to the restaurant just as we finished. She said she'll text again when she leaves and is on her way back."
"Good," he murmurs.

He looks like he wants to say more or dip his head lower for a kiss but at the last moment pulls back. With disappointment Emery realises she'd been fooling herself for the last hour and a bit. This isn't going to go away. He's not going to snap out of it and she can't ignore it.


Pulling on her big girl panties, Emery slides the now empty carton of dessert onto the coffee table, spoons in the carboard and switches off the TV. Those actions certainly grab Dane's attention. She sits back, angling her body towards him and placing some distance between their bodies. Okay, she decides. Let's do this.


"Em-"

"We have to talk. You know we do," she rushes out, "I mean this just weird! You're being weird."
"I know I just-"
"You need time. I totally respect that. You want to get through it yourself and I understand, I do. But I feel like you're pulling away and I don't know why and-"
"Emery. Baby," he interrupts with a short laugh.
She takes a moment to catch her breath as he takes her hand in his. It's limp in his hold just as her expression is frozen in one of worry. Her only moment is the nervous chewing of her bottom lip. Dane eases the soft flesh from her teeth and kisses her gently before starting to tackle the mountain.

"Am I doing this wrong? I shouldn't have said anything right? Oh God, I'm such a bad girlfriend. I'm being clingy, I know. I-"
"Honeybee! Stop!" he cries with another chuckle.
Since a kiss did nothing last time, he tugs her towards him manoeuvring both himself and her in such a way that he's leaning against one arm of the couch with her splayed over his chest and his arm is wrapped around her.

"You're not being a bad girlfriend," he states, his other hand cupping her cheek, "you're completely within your rights to...to bring this up. I'm the one being a coward and avoiding the issue."

She soothes her hand over his chest, not having anything to add to that since it's true. He has been avoiding it but that's understandable. It's obviously not something pleasant so it's only natural to want to put it off.
Emery looks up to him, gives him a soft kiss at his clean-shaven jaw and murmurs, "take your time. I'm here for you baby."

The corners of Dane's lips twitch at the sweet promise. Funny how he's the one who'd been saying words to that effect for the majority of their relationship. Coming from some part of his ego, he wants to reject the notion that he needs his girlfriend to be his support especially emotionally. It's not rational and it's not healthy but he can't help the feeling nonetheless. That notion of a man being the supporting beam always is embedded in him along with the traditionally masculine qualities that make up him. He struggles showing her such weakness but it's for her and he'll do near anything for her.

He sighs and gives a warning first, "hear me out completely okay, Em? Don't...don't hold the past against me. I was young and dumb and..."
"Dane," comforts Emery, "I know who you are. I know you. I seriously doubt whatever it is, is that bad."

He exhales and gives a final disclaimer, "I have a pampered life. I know I do. My dad came from money and made more his own way. And even though my mom came from the opposite end of that more or less, I've not faced a lot of hardships in my life. So what I did, what happened, it's not a big deal. In the grand scheme of everything I mean. I just want to preface that."
If she's looking for some sordid tale of agony and misery, it's not going to be that.
"Baby, it doesn't matter what it is. What matters to me is that this has clearly affected you in a major way so that's why I want to know. I'm not going to judge, I swear."

He grumbles in doubt before biting the bullet.

"Okay, yeah, of course. Where do I even start? I guess you should know I kind of hit puberty early. I shot up at 14 and got mistaken for someone older a lot which I admit I used to my advantage sometimes. That summer just before high school I got a job working at the country club my dad's a part of so maybe that's also why they didn't check too hard what age I was. But I was taught how to do basic yard work and some pool maintenance.

Anyway, as you can imagine there were some...uh, "extra-friendly" women, at the club but the country club obviously has a strict policy for staff and I stuck to it.
Mostly.

There was one woman in particular who'd given me her card if I would ever do some weekend work at her house. When school started and I was done for the year at the country club, I decided to take on the extra work and I contacted that woman.

She was married and it wasn't one of those where her husband was way older than her. I mowed the lawn and did some yard or pool work on the weekends if it was good weather and after she'd give me a soda and money for the job. It was normal, nothing weird. So after Christmas I kept going back. Then one day early spring, she hadn't come out when I finished so I went in the house and..well..you can pretty much guess what happened.-"

"She slept with you?" gasps Emery, "Dane that's...illegal."

She has no issue with a younger man and older woman relationship but that is too young. It's just gross how this woman clearly took advantage of him to act out some 'pool-boy' fantasy with an emphasis on the boy part.

"I know. But I was 15, baby. I thought it was an awesome deal. I got to have casual sex with an experienced woman and didn't see anything wrong with it. I didn't even care she was married. I was happy to have those few weekends a month when her husband was away.
We carried on all through the summer and when fall hit, I was still on cloud nine.

Everything was great and then the first weird thing happened. Her husband was this hot-shot surgeon so he worked most Saturdays except this one time when he came home early. I'd heard him come through the front door and felt the panic but she was er, on top at the time and wouldn't um, dismount.

I thought she was waiting for him to leave or something but even when the door was opening, she wouldn't stop. And then he just walked in, sat on this couch they had in the bedroom and watched.-"


Okay, Emery knows she shouldn't interrupt but that's just too crazy for her not to comment on.
"Oh my God!" she exclaims, "he just watched you have sex with his wife?"

Dane inhales and exhales slowly, nodding his head. He's not one to judge that sort of behaviour but not when it's non-consensual.

"Yep. It freaked me out. Completely. When I came out the bathroom dressed, he'd gone somewhere. She showed me out and gave me more money than usual. It was the first time since we started seeing each other I felt cheap. The next time I went to work at her place I'd decided to call it off. Except we ended up talking and she promised that he wouldn't sit there and watch anymore but that he does like to...see that, so she asked if every now and then we could tape it."

"Baby, no...Tell me you didn't."
"I was stupid, Em," he groans, "Lead around by my dick. I thankfully had the good sense only to agree if my face wouldn't be shown and I checked each tape to make sure."
"Okay. And then?" she cautiously asks because there's got to be a climax when he finally stopped sleeping with this 'Mrs. Robinson' and her freaky husband.

"Then more months went by and after Thanksgiving, around Christmas, she was having this book club. She asked me for to help in decorating the place and you know, it was pretty elaborate so the decoration needed to be placed high and they weighed quite a bit. It made sense for her to need my help. When her friends arrived, I was putting some of the extra boxes back up in the loft. I was about to leave when she introduced me around to her friends. They were a little tipsy from the wine but not enough to excuse their behaviour. After that-"

"Wait, hold on," interrupts Em, tilting up to have him gaze down, "'their behaviour'? What behaviour? What the fuck did they do?!"

Surprise flares in his eyes. Emery hardly ever swears and certainly not when it isn't for dirty talk. She clearly riled up about this and it's something he hadn't anticipated. He'd predicted for her rolling her eyes, or her disappointment in his past poor decision making and maybe anger but definitely not on his behalf. It kind of makes him feel a bit gushy and warm. Enough to give him strength to continue.

"They er, had heard about my activities with their friend and decided they want some of that too. And they even oh-so-generously said they'd double what I was being paid and I wouldn't even have to do the actual yard work."
"Like a-"

"Yeah. Even after she tried to tell me they were just drunk and didn't mean any of it, it still made me...uncomfortable. I wasn't able to get over it. I kept thinking if that's what I was to her-some kind of prostitute. But I couldn't stop seeing her, just her that is. I couldn't say no. I mean for one thing, she had those recordings, which I guess couldn't be proved it was me. Still it really did a number on me. My grades dropped way down and I was about to get kicked off the football team when my dad...he sat me down one night and it all just...came out."

Emery's fingers curl around his t-shirt and he draws her closer against him. Thinking back to how frightening it was to spill everything to his father. A man who had given him everything and he'd messed it all up.

"Was he mad?"

"I thought he'd be angry. But he just sat there and made me tell him everything, all the details. He barely said a word and then told me he was proud I talked to him, that we would figure it out in the morning together and he told me to go to bed. In the morning, he must have told my mom because she was livid. Not exactly at me, but we definitely had to contain her ranting to the kitchen since she was all set on grabbing a shotgun and walking over to the woman's house. We didn't even have a shotgun so that was flaw 1 in her plan."

Despite herself, Emery gives a soft snort of laughter. She would have done the same as Dane's mom. In fact, even though it happened in retrospect she's still feeling like enacting some justice.

"Then what happened? She went to jail right? The woman?"


Dane regretfully shakes his head, "I don't think so. My dad went over there to talk to them and within a month, they'd moved away. They stopped going to the country club too. I don't know what he said but I'm grateful. I've not seen or heard from her since. He also made me go to therapy. I wasn't all too happy about it at first but it actually helped. I still talk to the therapist every so often when I need to. I'm not crazy, Em, it wasn't-"

Emery stretches up to place her fingers against his lips.
"I get it," she reassures him, "anyone would need therapy with how much she messed with your head. I know you're not crazy Dane."
He gives her a brief smile of relief, "right, yeah. Exactly. But you know I said I was having trouble at my old school which is why I also transferred?"
She gestures in agreement. He had said she wasn't the only reason he transferred and when they first met he'd eluded to being a bit of a social pariah. She'd thought he was just trying to relate to her or feeding her some line.

"The kids at my school were freaked out when they found out I was having therapy. They thought there was something wrong with me. They weren't nasty but they weren't sure what to think so I guess they just avoided me. I don't really blame them really. I was just this rich, jock and then out of nowhere I was going to therapy. It didn't fit. But it was too weird for me to deal with. Coming to this school really did make it easier to put the past in the past."

Emery curls up against him, rearranging herself so she's sat across his lap. Her fingers tickle the strands of hair that curl at the nape of his neck.
"Well, screw them. I'm glad you transferred," she whispers before growing a little sheepish, "I mean, I know I wasn't too happy when you first arrived-"
"Yeah but you're happy now," he grins with a soft kiss to her lips.
She concedes to him, growing pliant in his hold while thrilled to have her Dane back. Though she does have a few lingering questions.

"So can I ask you something?" Emery quietly murmurs.
She doesn't want to ruin their good mood now but since they are getting it all out there...
"Anything. Always, Honey Bee," he responds.
"When we were, er, like last week doing stuff was remembering all that past what made you freak out?"

It had taken him by surprise too. His therapist had warned him intimacy would be difficult for him but with Emery he'd thought that was a thing of the past. She's his mate after all. And after their time together then he'd been braced for the same feelings of doubt and self-disgust except it hadn't come. Or he hadn't felt it as he usually does. The absence of it should have been a joyous occasion but it had just sent him spiralling into overthinking it wondering if that was an issue too. What if he's becoming numb and apathetic? So he'd pulled back to make sense of it when really he should have taken it as an accomplishment and talked to his girl. He knows that now. The therapist had said as much yesterday but he'd been putting it off since he'd turned it all into a big mess.

"Kinda the opposite actually," he admits which makes her tilt her head in bewilderment.

"Huh?"
"Ugh, I was told I'd have problems being intimate. I can often go back to the same kind of feelings and thoughts I had from before with her. Like I'm just a glorified tool being used and that I'm just interchangeable. So it sounds lame but sex and everything around sex needs to have meaning for me."
"That's not lame at all, to think being physical with someone should be meaningful," she comforts and admits, "I...I like that about you."

"Thanks baby. I like I can be like that with you. That's why I kind of pulled back when I shouldn't have. After that time, I didn't get the same feelings I normally do or the same thoughts. I just felt good and it confused me. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that to you."


Em's not pleased to hear he feels gross after sex but she is elated to hear he doesn't feel the same with her. Especially because she definitely doesn't consider him as replaceable. She couldn't imagine being so intimate as she is with him.

"It's okay. It's okay, Dane. I'll give you time to think, we can pause on the physical stuff or go at whatever pace you want as well. I hope you know that."

His hand cups her face, stroking the soft skin of her face as he wonders how lucky he got having a mate who's so sweet.
"I do and I appreciate it Em."

Tugging her down his mouth meet hers and they give their lips a break from speaking to use them for something way more pleasurable.

*************

They end up making out on the couch, neither pushing for anything more. The sound of Tory pulling into the driveway, pushes them apart. Dane lifts off his girlfriend and runs his fingers through his hair, trying to comb the stubborn licks down. Em also straightens herself up just as there's the rattle of keys in the door.


"Dane! Oh! You're still here," exclaims Tory in surprise when the two kids meet her at the entrance to the living room.
"Yeah, I wanted to wait until you got home before I left. So uh, now that you're back I guess I'll head off.-"
"No wait. Hold on," interrupts Emery with a hand to his forearm.
Then facing her mom, she says, "mom. Can I talk to you a sec? I'll be quick, I promise."

Tory looks from Dane to her daughter in confusion.
"Sure," she agrees.


They move into the kitchen, out of earshot of Dane. Tory doesn't know what's going on but it's been a long day. She's had a great evening and all she wants to do is get to bed.
"Sweetie, can we just talk about this in the morning?" she sighs, leaning against the doorframe to yank off her heels.
"No mom. That's the thing. Listen...I really appreciate you being cool with Dane hanging out with me and you know I said we needed to talk? Well, we did and things got a little heavy. I just don't think Dane should be alone tonight."

"Emery," cuts in Tory, "come on now. You're really pushing the boundaries here. I like Dane and I have no issue with your relationship but letting him sleepover? No, not going to happen."
"Mom," hisses back Emery keeping her voice down, "Nothing's going to happen. We're just going to sleep; I don't get the big deal. It's not like we couldn't have done..it...if we wanted to."
"Emery," replies Tory with a tone of finality, "there's just some things as a mom I can't allow to happen and I just..it..no. Not happening."

There's a beat of silence as Emery assesses her mother's seriousness and seeing as her mother stands her ground, it's up to Em to concede. Emery doesn't really see the logic in it. Sex doesn't just have to be in a bed and at night. She and Dane have been alone plenty of times and her mom trusted them enough to allow that. So why does she suddenly think that them sleeping in a bed is some major taboo? Still, it has been nice of her mom to be so lenient with finally acting like a normal teenager.

"Okay mom," she says softly, "I won't ask again. Did you have a good night? You have to tell me all about it. What was James like?"

Tory's glad for her daughter dropping the subject but that's Em. She rarely holds a grudge and respects her mother, much to Tory's blessing. She'd expected her teen daughter to be like her as a teenager. Moody, argumentative, hormonal. While they have the occasional tiff, there's never been anything that's caused major rifts between them and Tory prays they never will.


"I think that's my cue to get going," mutters Dane, cringing at the prospect of that kind of gossip.
Em just giggles at that and reaches up to kiss his cheek. She whispers something to him that Tory doesn't catch but she does note the way Dane's body tenses and never quite relaxes. He gives her daughter a short, sharp nod and returns the kiss with his own to Emery's forehead.

When Emery had said 'things got heavy' Tory had discounted it. Partly because she's tired but also because she hadn't thought Dane or Emery had much to get 'heavy' about. Despite her shortcomings as a mother, Emery's still pretty privileged and Dane even more so. What does a rich, handsome Carter have to get emotional about? Especially at his age? Now, she's rethinking that. Maybe it's not a good idea for him to be going to an empty apartment tonight.

This time she's the one stopping him as he pulls out his car keys.
"Dane," Tory calls, "it's too late and dark for you to drive home tonight."
His eyebrows shoot up and he responds, "no disrespect Ma'am but uh, you did pretty fine so I think I'll be okay."
"Don't be silly. Just stay the night. It's not a problem and I would feel a lot better."
He blows out a breath of air in discomfort. Gazing over at the couch, Dane knows he'd have to curl up to fit horizontally on that.
"Not the couch Dane," reassures Tory, causing both her daughter's and his eyes to go wide.
"Oh. Er, are you sure Ma'am? Not that anything would- we wouldn't- I wouldn't..."
He stumbles through his words, the thoughts spilling out in a jumble as his shocked brain tries to process what is happening.
"Yes," states Tory before tacking on, "but don't forget the walls in this house are fairly thin and I'm not a heavy sleeper."

Both of murmurs their agreements to the promise Tory doesn't ask outright.

*******************

Emery's bed's only just better than the couch. Dane can just about lie completely lengthways with his feet still on the mattress but only just. Sure, his own bed would be so much more comfortable though there is one thing Emery's bed has that his doesn't- Emery, and that itself outweighs all the cons. Em returns in her PJs and despite the promise they made to her mom, Dane's mind for a brief moment can't help but flicker to the prospect of breaking that promise.


She's just so adorable in her shorts and oversized t-shirt that hangs off one bare shoulder. She hesitates at the door, making him grin. Really? After everything she's going shy on him now? What happened to his little badass, who told him they'd go at his pace?
"Um, I normally sleep with the lights off and the door shut," she admits.
"Good with me," agrees Dane, flicking down one side of the comforter as an invitation for her to slide that cute butt in with him.
With some slight hesitation, she closes the door and plunges them in darkness where she then makes her way across the room and snuggles up close with him. The snuggling part, he realises isn't exactly by choice. The small bed means they really do have to be close to stay on it.
"Em, if you're uncomfortable with me in bed with you I can-"
"No, I'm okay! Stay," she encourages.


She's not uncomfortable that it's him in the bed with her and she did beg her mom for permission for exactly this. Except when she'd asked, she hadn't realised how intimate it would feel. Sharing her room and space with him for such an innocent act is so very personal that it makes her hesitate.


"It's just I've never slept in the same bed with anyone. Even when my mom and I went on vacation, she got us a room with two twin beds. I don't want to accidentally hit you or kick you or-"
Dane quietly laughs and tugs her against his chest fully. His arm wraps around her and he hooks her leg over him so she's pressed completely against him.
"Somehow, I don't think my 130- something pound girlfriend can do more damage than a field of 180 plus-pound footballers. I'll survive, baby."
"Oh."
That's a fair point. She wishes she could get up to 130 but she's not correcting him if that's what he thinks. And she supposes even with padding the hits he's sustained from those jocks are more powerful than anything she could do, especially unconscious.

"But I appreciate the concern. And...I know why you convinced your mom to let me stay. I appreciate that too," he quietly confesses.

She can't see him in the dark but she can feel him, not just physically that is.

"I want to say something, Dane and it's not because of what you've told me tonight. You should know that."
His breath catches but he forces himself to ask a little fearfully, "what? What is it baby? You can tell me anything."
"I love you."

Dane doesn't say anything for a moment, convinced he misheard.
"What?"
"I said I love you."


That's what he'd thought and the clear conviction in her tone leaves no room for interpretation. It makes his brain stutter as his heart races. He's not sure what to think. On one hand it's way too soon. On the other, he's her first boyfriend, he's her soul-mate. It makes sense for her to believe she's in love with him. The question is, is he in love with her? He's known love but being in love is a different matter altogether. He'd thought he was 'in love' once before or something similar to it but he recognises now that wasn't love. Can he trust himself again?


"Um, Dane?" calls Em, "do you want to say something? Even a 'cool' is enough?"
Oh right, of course.
"Right, yeah, yeah sorry Honey-Bee. I..I guess I waited like 2 years to hear that, 2 years for us to get to this point and now..."
To be completely truthful, Emery does feel a stab of hurt at hearing what he's not admitting to. He's not there yet. He doesn't reciprocate her strong feelings. She guess that's fair though. He doesn't have to be in love with her yet since she knows he likes her at least. He'd waited until she was ready to date him, the least she can do is give him the same curtesy.

"It's okay if you're not there yet Dane. I don't expect you to be."
"That's the thing, Em. I don't know what being in love is like. I know I care about you deeply, I know I see my future with you and I know I want to spend my present with you. Is that love?"

She makes a noise of uncertainty. Sadly, those statements don't exactly sound like the declarations of a man madly in love. Patting his chest, Emery kisses his neck and settles back against his chest.

"I don't think so baby," she softly replies.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be sorry. You're here with me. That's more than enough."
Dane kisses the top of her head and let's his eyes drift close, muttering finally, "you're more than enough." 

A/n An extra long, kinda heavy chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed. Once I started writing this one, it just flowed out of me :P I know it's very different to the old version but I felt it would explain Dane's intensity considering his age a lot better. Please feel free to leave your thoughts below! xx