I think you've heard every excuse under the sun by now, so I will spare you the pain of that. Instead, here is a little recap for those (if any exist) of you who may be still reading this train wreck.

(I am profusely sorry still for being a horrible writer, and going off the grid every 0.2 seconds)

Recap:

Evie is in the hospital still from her injuries from her time with Nick Harmon. Nick Harmon was the man who organized the kidnapping of Evie and was killed by Evie during the raid by the Kings to rescue her. Kate is dead, and it was revealed that while she was originally innocent, she became power hungry and ended up willingly working for Nick and his gang. Evie killed her for multiple reasons, but one of the top ones was that Kate was not going to survive regardless if she escaped with Nick, or if Kings had found her. Basically, Evie did her a favor, but wasn't exactly gentle with it.

Elizabeth, Evie's doctor, has suggested that Evie seek mental health help at a facility about 30 miles out, and wants either Danny (Evie's brother) or Sebastian to introduce the idea of that to Evie. (This isn't horribly relevant, but it will be included in this chapter so I thought I would put it out there.)

Evie is still hearing her father's voice in her head and is still struggling to understand her feelings towards everything that has happened.

Sebastian is trying to win back Evie's trust and is willing to do whatever it takes, but let's not forget how impatient and demanding this man can be.

Emily was the baiter that replaced Evie (this was a WHILE ago) but she is still a main/minor (relevant) character who has feelings for Danny.

Mason has almost fully recovered from being stabbed by Kate—physically that is, emotionally and mentally he is still putting himself together but it's been a little easier with the introduction of Elizabeth to this book (if there was EVER a time I dropped any hints, it would be right now).

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Evie has had a traumatic experience. She has struggled for the majority of her life to understand her place in society. When captured by Nick Harmon, she put on a show about how "Evelyn Summers" does not exist, and instead was just a reflection of whoever she needed to be. That is not necessarily true, as we all know Evie as a stubborn, fiery girl who is protective over the people she cares about, and that is not made up at all.

However, she struggles with vulnerability, and because of that, she closes herself off to everyone whenever she worries she will get hurt.

So I hope this has been a helpful recap even though it most likely was not and now I will proceed with the chapter that has taken years to make (slight exaggeration but it might as well be the truth).

Love you all, xx.

+++++

Chapter Fifteen

"Forgive me first love, but I'm tired

I need to get away to feel again

Try to understand why, don't get so close to change my mind

Please wipe that look out of your eyes, it's bribing me to doubt myself

Simply, it's tiring"

— Adele "First Love"

The world keeps turning.

This was a thought that filled my mind and held my interest for inexplicable reasons. The world keeps turning and the billions of people who inhabit it continue about their daily lives. And that to me was fascinating.

Why?

Because life does not stop – even, dare I say, especially, when it feels that yours has.

A grimace was etched across my features as I moved throughout the hospital room, attempting to breath steadily as I stretched out my limbs. The dull ache that resonated with each action I took was ironically what motivated me to continue to move.

It was the pain that reminded me I was still alive.

And frankly, I craved it.

Pain had been a friend of mine ever since I could remember.

It latched onto me as I grew and held me tightly in its grasp.

But it was also the source of my strength. Pain helped me fight harder when I would train. It served as a reminder of what was to come if I failed to do a job correctly. It forced me out of my comfort zone and allowed me to become the girl who people feared.

Where was that girl now?

I paused in front of the mirror in the bathroom and watched in distaste as a small frown formed on my lips. My hair was unruly, nothing out of the ordinary; however, it was the look in my eyes that revealed my lack of a full recovery.

The girl was me, but I was not Evelyn Summers.

My fingers dug into the sides of the sink as I focused in on my icy blue eyes, willing the fierce look to appear.

I wanted to be the way I was.

I missed the dominance that radiated from myself I entered a room. I missed the power I had, the effectI had on others as they cowered away from me. I missed people seeing me and knowing deep down, I was a force to be reckoned.

Instead, I received fleeting glances from the hospital staff – most of which were far too frightened to attempt to speak to me. And while I would normally bask in their fear, I could sense it was mixed with something else, something that made my skin crawl.

Pity.

I turned away from the mirror and continued to move about my room, anger seeping into my blood flow.

The pathetic stares made me sick to my stomach.

Evelyn Summers did not need sympathy. She did not need strangers casting looks of sorrow as they watched the girl seemingly deteriorate before their eyes.

"Evelyn."

I was torn away from my thoughts by Elizabeth's soft voice filling the room.

She looked tired, but there was a steadiness to her that had not been there weeks ago. I glanced up at the clock in the room, surprised to see that it was already close to four in the morning.

"Let's go," she finally spoke again, motioning to the duffel bag that was hanging from her shoulder.

"Wait."

I moved towards her, watching her closely although I knew there was nothing to be suspicious of.

I reached from the bag and unzipped it, pushing away the clothes that were bundled at the top.

A small smile appeared on my lips when my eyes locked onto my shiny new toy. Without hesitation, I lifted it up, feeling familiarity as its heavy weight sunk into my hand.

My eyes met Elizabeth's, who was now watching me warily as I shifted it between my hands, testing the feeling.

"Bang," the whisper left my lips as I playfully pretended to shoot her.

Needless to say, she was not amused.

I, on the other hand, was on cloud nine.

"I think it's time to go have some fun."

+++++

Two Weeks Earlier

Unpredictable.

Erratic, unstable, temperamental – the list goes on.

My hands traced the cold ceramic lining of the sink before I leaned down to splash more cool water to my still flushed face.

It was futile though.

Nothing would stop my cheeks from reddening—that is, especially after the dream I had last night. Bits and pieces continued to haunt me, causing shameful sighs to leave my lips as I doused myself yet again.

His dark eyes.

His tantalizing touch.

His soft lips.

Him.

I had not seen him in weeks but thankfully my subconscious was working overtime to make sure I would not forget anything, and I mean anythingabout the man that seemed to come to me (and for me) every night.

I rolled my eyes in frustration.

I wasn't sure how much longer I could last—waking up sweaty, tangled in sheets, and crying out a name that certainly should not be leaving my mouth.

My feeble hands attempted to smooth down the tangles that had formed a mocking crown on the top of my head.

Maybe now I am finally the Queen the King has been looking for.

"Miss Summers?"

The voice outside of the bathroom door caused me to jolt and tear my eyes away from my disheveled reflection. My hands grew clammy as I fought to regain my composure—one that I had lacked from the moment I woke up. With a small sigh, I decided to tie my hair into a small bun, leaving my face free and exposed.

For a moment, I hesitated. The icy stare that I had been seeing over the last few weeks had melted slightly. There was rosiness to my cheeks, and my lips were no longer split and colorless.

There was life.

The girl staring back at me—

She was alive.

"Miss Summers?"

The nurse's voice was laced with worry and urgency now, and I found myself rolling my eyes yet again.

"Yes?" I grounded out, opening the door and staring at the now timid nurse who seemed to be very interested in the floor as opposed to the patient that was standing before her.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay," was the soft response I received, before the nurse backed away slowly.

Temperamental.

It was over a week ago that I had thrown a vase at the nurse in front of myself, subsequently shattering the vase at the nurse's confidence as I screamed hateful words at the young woman.

I had been angry. I felt trapped and frustrated—and when I received flowers from Emily, instead of an actual visit, I found myself unable to contain my emotions.

How were flowerssupposed to help?

Would they take away my father's voice from my head?

Would they help me breathe again?

Would they help me make sense of the flurry of emotions that had taken me hostage?

I remembered the way tears sprung to the nurse's eyes as I screamed. It was only natural for the woman to be cautious, if not absolutely terrified of me. At any moment, I could snap—it wouldn't be the first time.

Unstable.

Two days after the flower fiasco, as one doctor so creatively coined the event, I had been placed in restraints for twenty-four hours as a result of my uncontrollable violence.

They used the words: dangerous, threatening, and unstable,to describe me.

I couldn't disagree.

Anger, frustration, and hurt flowed heavily through my veins, and no matter how long the doctors dedicated to discussing my actions, they would never understand the reasons behind them.

They would never understand that Danny had come in to visit—to sit at the edge of my bed and attempt to explain how the gang had been falling apart for the last few months, and that because of this, they would no longer be able to visit as much.

They would never understand the gutting feeling that overtook me, that left me breathless while Danny desperately backtracked, trying to tell me that it was crucial for their attention to be on the gang.

That I would be safe where I was.

That they would visit as soon as they could.

They would never understand that in between Danny's word vomit, the message would ring loud and clear: Sebastian had more important matters to attend to than to see me.

They all did.

The doctors would never understand any of this.

So when a male nurse came in to administer pain medication, I found myself lashing out, injuring him and myself in the process.

In my defense, he had mocked me. The look he had given me was one of pity, but also of delight. The all powerful Evelyn Summers was hooked up on a bed, waiting patiently for this pathetic man to ease her pain, and I could tell he was enjoying every second of it.

I chose to give him a wakeup call.

As a result, I was placed in restraints, sedated, and closely monitored.

They said they didn't want me to hurt myself again, but the nurse that now had a split lip and bruised face made me think they were more worried about themselves.

But they didn't understand.

They didn't understand that I was hurt.

They didn't understand what Danny had made so painfully clear, without realizing it himself.

For Danny, and most importantly, for Sebastian, the gang was fixable.

With the right amount of attention, time, care, and dedication, the gang would be fixed and easily return to its sacred, superior place in society.

The gang was fixable.

I was not.

They would leave, attend to the problems they faced, and then at the end of it all, they would come back to me.

And I would be where I had been for weeks.

In a hospital bed, glossy eyed, and listening to my father's voice remind me of my worthlessness.

To everyone, I was broken.

And to everyone, I would not be fixed.

Erratic.

Elizabeth eyed me warily as my eyes narrowed in on her.

My heart was pounding rapidly in my chest while I processed her words.

"You want me to go to therapy."

I said each word slowly, in an effort to emphasize what I felt was the absurdity of the statement.

Therapy?

As if talking to a stranger would wipe away the years of trauma I had endured.

As if talking to a stranger would prevent the inevitable pain and suffering to come.

Therapy would not work for me.

"Evie," Elizabeth began again, her hands flattening her already perfectly ironed white coat. "You must understand that this is truly protocol—something established for all patients who have endured the trauma you have. We typically would have had a therapist and psychiatrist speak to you earlier on, but we felt you needed some time to heal and that before you were a bit—"

"Unstable?" I interjected, watching as her eyes met mine in an almost pleading manner. A sarcastic laugh left my lips as I glared at her in disbelief.

"Well Elizabeth, clearly you have been spending far too much of your time fantasizing about Mason to realize that I have done nothing in the past week that would declare me anything less than unstable."

I was far too angry to find amusement from the way her face reddened noticeably, her eyes lowering to the ground as she struggled to remain impassive.

"That's not true."

Her voice was weak, and I could sense she was struggling.

But I didn't care.

Like a ticking time bomb, the seconds had run out in my clock and I could feel my pulse race as I mulled over her words.

My breathing increased and I suddenly was tearing at the tubes attached to my arms for what seemed like the hundredth time since my arrival at this hospital.

"So let me get this straight," I hissed out, my voice sounding sardonic and cold to my own ears. "You want to ship me off to some facility because you've come to the conclusion that physical injuries are no longer my issue, but instead it's my fucking head?"

I paused, standing only two feet away from her.

Elizabeth had made no move to call back up, but was instead watching me closely with tired eyes. In fact, she even seemed a bit upset.

"You think I am crazy." I spat the words at her as my heart hammered in my chest.

My breathing was out of control and I could feel my fingers twitching at my sides while my arms ached in protest from where the IVs were removed.

I was erratic.

I couldn't stop myself from reacting.

I was volatile.

I couldn't stop my emotions from taking control, and creating the monster that stood before Elizabeth.

I curled my hands into fists as I thought about the old Evie. The cold, calculated, and composed girl who never let her mask slip.

I wanted her back—no, I neededher back.

"Sebastian and Danny were supposed to explain this to you."

My attention snapped back to her.

"I—I know it's my job, but theywere the ones supposed to," she waved her hands mindlessly, "I knew you wouldn't understand and I know I probably wouldn't either but I am trying to help it's just—"

"They had more important matters to attend to." My voice was steady now, but hallowed.

Elizabeth's eyes met mine, but instead of looking at me with pity, her eyes held annoyance and frustration.

"Spit it out, Elizabeth," I challenged her, "Enough with the formalities, tell me how you really feel."

I watched her take a shaky breath before running her hands through her hair and looking me dead in the eyes.

"What the fuck is wrong with them?" She finally asked.

I barely contained my surprise as I realized who her anger was directed at.

"They told me they would talk to you, and then they just?' She looked distraught as she attempted to find the words. "I get it okay, I mean I don't really get it but I know you are all in a gang and that means something, clearly a lot, but what the hell? They can't just drop in when it's fucking convenient for them and then just leave you here—"

"I'm not a puppy, Elizabeth." I spoke slowly, analyzing her closely as an idea formed in my head. "They didn't abandon me."

Elizabeth seemed to regain some of her composure as she nodded in agreement, before softly saying, "They shouldn't have left you."

I agree.

"I'll go."

She stared at me in response, confusion overtaking the frustration on her face.

Unpredictable.

"I'll go to your facility, I will talk to a therapist, and I will do whatever you need me to do."

Elizabeth looked dumbfounded as she processed my words.

"Why?"

I smirked as I slowly approached her, closing the distance between us.

"Because Lizzy," she frowned at the sudden emergence of a nickname.

"I have a plan and you're going to help me."

+++++

I felt my heart beating uncontrollably in my chest as beads of sweat cascaded from my forehead. My shirt was practically soaking, but I wasn't done yet.

Despite my pounding heart, I was able to steady my breathing and press down on the trigger in a rapid succession of five shots.

My breath caught as I peered above my hands and investigated the targets, all of which now had a gaping hole in the place of the "x."

"Brilliant," I murmured, my eyes trailing over my work.

I placed the safety back on before placing it beside the duffel bag Elizabeth had brought. At the thought of her I glanced through the bulletproof glass that separated us, watching as she continued to look through the piles of patients' files that she chose to busy herself with while I trained.

I moved towards the weights in the corner, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. As I had predicted, I was completely drenched in sweat. My hair had somehow remained in the ponytail, with the loose strands sticking to my face and neck. My entire body was tinged red, from the exhaustion that wracked my body.

Before I leaned down to pick up a weight, I noted the look of determination that sparkled in my eyes.

I was getting stronger.

In fact, I was exponentially stronger than I had been in a long time.

And I didn't even need to talk to someone about my problems.

The bitter thought left my mind quickly. I should be grateful, frankly, that Elizabeth agreed to this rather absurd plan and hadn't called in authorities to have me shipped off. Instead, for the past two weeks, Elizabeth had been bringing me to a facility that allowed me to regain the skills I once had. Granted, it was not like I had forgotten how to hold a gun, but being in the hospital and feeling like I was no longer myself had truly impacted me in detrimental ways.

But that was all changing now.

I worked on my arms a bit before setting down the weights and heading to the treadmill for a cooldown. My mind was racing with thoughts, despite it being nearly seven in the morning, and I had yet to sleep.

Once Elizabeth discharged me I would be able to train more freely and fully regain all that had been lost; although, I wouldn't be surprised if I was almost there already. The only thing I had left to work on was one on one combat, and unless Elizabeth planned on putting down her work and picking up a pair of gloves, that training would have to wait.

I had never intended on going to therapy – rather, I wanted to prove to Elizabeth that there was a way for me to recover, one that may not seem conventional from her standpoint. She had been hesitant to agree to my plan, but it seemed like she was running out of options, and this was the only one in which I would willingly participate in.

As I packed up, I felt a slight twinge of guilt strike me. Elizabeth had been the only one to believe in me, and I was taking advantage of that.

In a sense, however, this was not entirely my fault.

If theycared about me, this would never have happened.

But they don't.

His voice broke through the barrier of silence that had settled for the last few weeks, but I refused to acknowledge it.

Not now. Not when I was finally getting better, feelingbetter.

Elizabeth looked up as I approached her, her nostrils flaring slightly as she took in my appearance.

"I'm going to need to floor it to get back in time," she muttered quietly, picking up her work and shoveling it into the bag she had brought.

I hesitated before I forced it out.

"Thank you."

Elizabeth's head snapped up, a look of shock on her face as she stared at me.

I paused before continuing, "I know this is a lot for you, and driving me out here and back every morning is definitely less than ideal for you. But I appreciate it."

Elizabeth quickly recovered from her surprise and offered me a small smile.

"Never thought I would hear Evelyn Summers saying 'thank you.'"

A stoic expression graces my features before I shrug.

"Well I can make an exception for the one person who believes that I'm not hopeless."

A crestfallen look replaces the happiness previously in her eyes and before she can make up an excuse for them, I start heading to the parking lot, refusing to stand by while she rattles off all the possible reasons they had yet to come visit.

The ride is completely silent. I watch as the sun rises, casting a warm glow across the buildings as we enter back into civilization. I can tell Elizabeth is tense, and I could most likely predict a few of the thousands of things she wanted to say to me.

"It's been almost a month."

I hear her breath catch before understanding settles in.

I interrupt her before she can say anything. "I don't want your pity, I want you to understand."

"Your feelings are valid, Evie." She says softly.

I force myself to not roll my eyes at her textbook psychologist response. I could feel the underlying rage that had been with me for months begin to grow.

"But maybe if you were able to understand—"

"For the love of god, you can't actually be serious," I spat out. "What is it, then? Some stab wound victim shows you some attention and you just blindly defend him and his fucking friends?"

My hands were shaking and I could hear the venom laced in my words, strategically designed to wound Elizabeth, who was now staring at the road, her lips pressed into a thin line.

I was mad, and I was hurt, and I wanted her to feel the same.

"Stop lashing out," she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper as a red tinge grew from her cheeks and spread down to her neck.

"Or what?" I scoffed, "There's nothing you can do to me."

My words held an almost overbearing amount of emotion, but I kept my tone leveled. I was back to wearing a mask, refusing to let my emotions show – for the most part that is. My control was coming back, and this was something I had been desperately trying to grasp ever since I had been found.

The silence that followed was practically deafening.

"And you wonder why they don't want to see you."

I felt the air leave my lungs.

I could hear the apologies spill out of her lips as she stuttered and made futile attempts to take back what she said, knowing fully well that her words had cut my deep. In fact, the wound was so deep that I found myself struggling to breathe, but I was determined to not let it show.

If there was ever a time to practice control, it would be now.

So instead, I found myself nodding in response before turning my eyes back to the road. I remained calm despite my pounding heart and the dull ache that had spread throughout my body. I ignored the lump in my throat, and the pain in my chest. I suppressed everything I wanted to say, all the things I wanted to do, and made myself focus on the cars that had now entered the street.

It was then that I noticed it.

The two black SUVs.

It wasn't obvious, but with closer inspection I recognized that one was tailing the other. I unconsciously held my breath as the second one came alarmingly close to the other.

It felt like it happened in slow motion.

The first SUV swung across its lane and into ours, cutting Elizabeth off. I heard Elizabeth scream as she scrambled to brake, but I knew there was no chance of that happening in time.

I heard the deafening sound of scraping metal and the shattering of glass. I felt the impact catapult my body forwards, causing my seatbelt to effectively take the air from my lungs as it dug into my skin and slammed me backwards. My head collided into the window as I fell back, and my vision darkened.

Through parted lids, I watched as the second SUV came to a halting screech, while the rest of the cars cleared the street.

My ears were ringing and I felt drops of blood trail down my neck from the wound in my head.

There were men outside of the cars now, and I could hear a commotion growing.

We need to get out of here.

The sound of a bullet tore through the flurry of noises that had been overwhelming me ever since the impact.

We had been caught in the middle of gang war.

Gunshots vibrated around the car, and the sharp sounds were accompanied by yells.

Sink or swim.

Adrenaline pulsed through my veins.

It was as though a switch had been flipped. My vision cleared and suddenly, my eyesight sharpened. With measured breaths I took in the damage of the car, and cast my eyes in Elizabeth's direction. Her head was slumped over, leaning on the steering wheel as her arms lay limply by her sides.

Examining her quickly, I was relieved to see that most of her wounds were superficial. It seemed that my side of the car had taken most of the impact, much to my luck, or lack thereof.

Without another moment to spare, I moved to unbuckle myself. Looking through the shattered windshield, I saw could make out figures darting between the cars, while others were taking cover behind parked vehicles.

Everything about this was chaotic.

The extent of disorder was unheard of. Gang violence wasn't unprecedented, but the manner in which this had been orchestrated screamed of a lawlessness that I had not seen before.

When attacks were carried out, they often tried at the very least to avoid innocent casualties. Even more so, they rarely are conducted in the middle of a street.

Something was different with this.

The force of the crash had angled our car so that my side was facing the fight more so than Elizabeth's. Gritting my teeth, I managed to crawl into the backseat. I grabbed the gun from the duffel bag and tucked it into the waistband of my shorts, my heartrate increasing at the thought of actually having to use the gun.

Taking a breath, I forced the back door open on Elizabeth's side. I hissed as my body screamed in protest from my jerky actions, and ignored the radiating pain as I crouched down and inched towards the driver's door. I didn't allow myself a second of hesitation before I pulled open Elizabeth's door.

My heart was racing as the sound of the gunshots increased exponentially. If anything, it should have been dying down.

Then it hit me.

These inexperienced dumbasses had recruited backup.

I pulled Elizabeth's unconscious body out of the car, and forced myself to stay quiet as a sharp pain shot through my leg when I scraped it against glass on the ground. Despite the ear-splitting shots, I couldn't risk drawing any attention to us, especially now that there were more people.

How did they not think to check on the people in the car that had been caught in the crossfire?

Fucking imbeciles.

A moan from the ground directed my attention back to Elizabeth.

"Wakey wakey," I whispered, pulling her to a sitting position as I crouched beside her.

"What—" She began to croak out before I placed my hand over her mouth.

"Car crash," I informed her, watching as her eyes widened in realization. "Seems like there are two gangs, both incredibly unqualified."

She stared at me in response, her eyes raking over the blood that was now matting down my hair to my head.

My mind raced as I analyzed the area and tried to create as escape route that would hopefully keep us both alive. The fighting was occurring about forty feet away from us, and hopefully would continue to move further. But I knew that wasn't something I could count on.

My eyes dropped down to Elizabeth, who was trying to type something out on her phone.

"What the hell are you doing," I hissed, pulling out the gun as I heard footsteps grow closer to us.

"We need help," she whispered back, her voice shaking as her eyes welled up. "How the hell are we going to get out of here—"

"You texted Mason?"

Now is not the time for a conversation.

I shook my head slightly, trying to clear it as I glared down at her.

"They're the only ones who can help."

I stared at her, before drawing my eyes up towards the alleyway that was a mere twenty feet away from us.

"For once, Lizzy," I growled out, "I would appreciate a little faith."

Confusion crossed her features before it was replaced with pain as I yanked her to the crouched position I was in.

"You're going to listen to me, and you're going to listen closely. I am going to be the reason you live through this, not your little fucking boy toy. You see that alleyway?" I paused as she numbly nodded, her skin having grown paler as I spoke. "When I tell you to, you're going to run into it and you're going to keep on running until you are far away from here."

"Ev—"

"If you do not, so help me god I will shoot you myself."

They were getting closer, and time was running out. We had already wasted precious minutes while talking complete nonsense, and these minutes could have been what saves one of our lives, or even both.

"You're hurt." The weak words were spoken so softly I almost missed them.

I hesitated before my signature smirk fell into place, an action that felt so natural to me.

"Usually am, Lizzy."

Sink or swim.

I cocked the gun.

"Ready?"

I didn't wait for an answer.

Whether Elizabeth was ready or not, didn't matter. One of the men had broken away from the fight and swung around the car—his eyes locking on to mine before Elizabeth's. I saw his arm tense, and before he could decide who to shoot, I put a bullet through his skull. I ignored Elizabeth's choked scream and yanked her up before shoving her in the direction of the alleyway.

"Go!"

Without waiting to see if she would, I fully emerged from behind the car, firing shots in each direction as I took in the scene before me, grimacing as I took in all the unwanted attention we had gained. I saw one man look in Elizabeth's direction and didn't hesitate to fire a shot at him, leaving him gasping for air as blood poured from his abdomen.

There was a time when this would have bothered me. Shooting not one, but two people.

But as my father always said, sink or swim.

Those who remained had now ceased fired, and I felt a spark ignite within me as I saw their guns all directed at me. I just loved it when I was able to bring people together.

I tilted my head to the side before giving my audience a grin.

"So boys, who wants to play?"

+++++

"Mason this better be fucking important," Sebastian grounded out as he looked over the piles of papers and photographs that were scattered across his desk.

He had barely looked up when Mason had entered the room, and frankly, he was not in the mood to hear whatever irrelevant information Mason had to share.

A week ago the warehouse had been attacked.

Several men had been killed while waiting to receive a shipment of weapons four days ago.

And just yesterday, there had been a shooting at not one, but two of the clubs.

These events had been occurring over and over for the last month, leaving Sebastian at wits end over what to do and how to save his gang, which was starting to feel like a sinking ship.

They were being bled dry, and it was only a matter of time before they would go under.

Sebastian's hands tightened into fists as the rage overtook him.

"Mason why the fuck did you—"

"It's Evie."

Sebastian's eyes met Mason's with a ferocity that caused Mason to cower back slightly.

He felt his stomach drop as he took in Mason's pale complexion and the anxiety that racked through his frame.

"She's in danger."

+++++

"Who the hell are you?"

My heartrate was erratic as I tried to take in the scene before me.

Why hadn't I just run after Elizabeth? Why did I have to sacrifice myself?

The regret was undeniable, but I felt something else, something stronger.

It was as if being a part of the danger was a primal desire that existed within me. One that I could not deny even if I wanted to.

And because of it, I was now facing at least a dozen men who all looked eager enough to put a bullet through my head and continue on with slaughtering each other.

Before I could form a response, a bullet tore through the silence.

I watched as the man collapsed to the ground, a bullet hole straight through his head.

And then the chaos returned.

I moved at a speed I didn't not realize I was capable of to shield myself behind one of the parked cars, feeling slight relief when I realized the men had continued to only fight each other rather than target me.

My eyes darted around the street as I desperately attempted to locate the person who had shot him, and found myself overcome by horror as several figures approached from the opposite side.

Where Elizabeth and I had been not even ten minutes ago was in direct line of these newcomers, and that was the only comfort I had despite knowing fully well that they had seen me, and knew exactly where I was hiding.

I inched my body away from the approaching men while making sure to stay hidden from the rest, feeling almost hopeless when I realized I was trapped in the middle and having to rely on a car to keep me concealed from any bullets.

All the confidence I had felt before was now gone.

This wasn't a gang war.

This was a full on massacre.

Is thiswhat Sebastian and the Kings had been dealing with? Complete pandemonium caused by reckless men—no, boys, who were trigger happy and hoping to die?

I shook my head and held in a scream as a stray bullet went through the window above my head and pierced into the brick wall only a few feet away from me. Glass rained down on my body and I forced myself to ignore the stinging cuts that resulted.

I had to get out of there.

I could see another alleyway only thirty feet away, but it was right by the fighting boys, and with the other ones closing in on them, it was likely that I was not going to make it there. Even if no one shoots at me, I would still have a chance to be hit by a stray bullet.

So this is how you're going to die?

Now was not the time.

After all the training—all the time and effort I put into making you the person you are, you're just going to give up?

Bullets were flying from all directions now.

The new gang was evidently more trained, but with three fighting at once it was sure to be a while before it could be declared over.

I gritted my teeth.

Sink or swim.

They were far too close to the alleyway I wanted to go through.

"Where the hell did that girl go?"

I felt my body freeze as the words cut through the sounds of the fight.

Several gunshots rang out before silence settled in.

"Did she get away?"

There was only one option left for me.

I could hear groaning, and yells coming from the wounded, and I knew it wouldn't be long before they were dead.

You need to go now.

I inched away from the thick of the fight, unconsciously held my breath as I crawled to the end of the car as shocks of pain ran through my body and threatened to make me pass out.

By now my shirt was drenched with sweat and blood, and the adrenaline was acting as my one source of energy.

My eyes locked on the alleyway that Elizabeth had disappeared into.

It is my only option.

I knew I should not have risked taking a peek, but I had to know who had won, even though I knew deep down who it was.

The ones who arrived late, the ones who had waited for the others to kill each other off before stepping in, the ones who were now looking for me as if they hadn't seen exactly where I had run when they arrived.

It was all a game to them.

"Boo."

A startled scream broke away from me before I could even attempt to suppress it. A pair of hands grasped my arms and dragged me up to my feet, causing me to drop my gun in the process.

"Did I scare you?" He asked, grinning as the rest of the members laughed in response.

The dull ache in my head and turned into a pounding, and I found it difficult to focus on him—or anything else for that matter, as I swayed slightly in his grip.

"Now, I believe I interrupted someone earlier," he mused, "so if you would be so kind as to tell me who you are, and how you got mixed up in this, I would greatly appreciate it."

I contemplated answering him.

I was greatly outnumbered, and while I had been training for the past few weeks, taking on six men was not something I was capable of at the moment.

In the end, it didn't matter what I said. My name was lost in the sound of screeching tires.

My head snapped in the direction of the large black car as it came barreling towards us, causing the men to scatter to avoid being run over, including the one holding me.

I didn't let a second pass before I took off in a sprint towards the alleyway, just as bullets began flying for what seemed to be the thousandth time today. I let out a cry as one grazed my arm, but it only made me push myself harder to submerge myself into the dark alleyway.

Adrenaline was once again flowing through me, and I felt my speed increase as I put distance between myself and that godforsaken hell.

Much to my dismay, I could hear footsteps following me.

I could sense that they were closing in from a distance behind me, and felt my legs push harder as I neared the opening of the alleyway. It was my only option, to flee into an open street and hope I am able to hide myself before they could find me. What was worse, I had no way to defend myself, other than my hands.

And if you think bringing a knife to a gunfight is bad, imagine having nothing.

I was only twenty feet away before I felt arms wrap around my body and forcefully drag me to the side and into a narrow opening in the alley. Before I could react, an arm tightly wrapped around my waist and securely held me against the individual while his other hand came up to cover my mouth.

In the midst of my struggles, I caught a glimpse of two figures that quickly passed by, heading towards the men who had been following me. With their guns raised I knew what to expect—and surely enough, they directed their fire on the men who had been following me.

The sound of gunshots caused me to jerk backwards into the man holding me captive, and I couldn't refrain a small scream from escaping my lips, only to be muffled into the stranger's hand.

My struggling ceased when he dipped his head down, his lips only inches from my ear.

"Stop fighting me, you're only hurting yourself."

In an instant I went still.

The gunshots had finally stopped, and my heart might have as well done the same.

He maneuvered me against the wall, before removing his gun from his waistband, casting a fleeting glance over my body before cautiously checking the alleyway.

My body limply rested against the wall as I watched his movements. I noticed blood around his neckline from where my head had rested, and I felt my stomach twist as he tucked his gun back into his waistband, and returned his attention back to me.

I felt as though my throat was closing, and my air supply was being depleted. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. Instead, I found myself watching him with empty eyes as he moved towards me, his eyes burning into my skin as the distance between us closed.

Seconds of silence passed before I mustered up a response.

"Nice of you to finally stop by."

+++++

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

He was angry.

I was angrier.

No, scratch that. I was completely, and utterly livid.

The way he had stared down at me without saying a word had made me sick to my stomach.

I saw red as I had pushed past him, ignoring the calls of Mason and Callum as I exited the alleyway, curses building up in my throat but being forced down as I desperately looked for a way to get the hell out of there.

I didn't care where I went at this point, I just knew I didn't want to be around them.

"God fucking damn it."

I let out a sharp hiss when he grabbed my arm and yanked me back, pushing me into the side of the building and trapping me there.

"You've got a lot of nerve right now, Evie," Sebastian spat out, his eyes filled with annoyance and frustration. "What the hell were you thinking? Leaving the hospital to go do what? Were you trying to get yourself killed? Is that what you had in mind?"

I ignored the electricity that sparked at the sound of my name, and sent him the strongest glare I could muster.

"Get the hellaway from me."

I caught him off guard by shoving him with both my hands, sending him back a few steps before he was in my face once again, his hands tightly wrapped around my arms, pinning me against the rough brick structure.

"Do that again and you'll regret it."

My vision blurred slightly from the movement, and I felt my breathing quicken while I tried to stabilize myself.

"Sebastian! She might have a concussion!"

My head turned at the sound of Elizabeth's voice, and I watched with some relief as she emerged from the black car that had nearly run me over before. She had been able to get help, although I wish it had been from anyone else. I sucked in a breath of air when I realized Danny was standing beside it, his eyes holding an almost heartbroken look as he took in my appearance. I felt Sebastian's eyes fixed on me, and I knew he had seen my reaction, but I refused to look back at him, and instead focused on Elizabeth.

Her eyes were wide with worry, and other than her slight limp, she appeared to be fine for the most part as she moved closer to us.

However, Mason stepped forward to prevent her from coming any further, and I took that as my opportunity to break out of Sebastian's grip, which was sincerely beginning to hurt the wound on my arm.

I flinched when he brought his hand to my face, a reaction that did not go unnoticed by Sebastian, or anyone who was watching, but was thankfully ignored.

I held my breath as he released my other arm, and used both hands to tilt my head up to his. He forced me to meet his eyes and they searched mine before drifting to my bloodied hair. I inhaled sharply as he brought my head to the side and used his other hand to inspect the cut on my head, which was now causing a radiating pain in my skull.

"She has a minor concussion," he finally said, his eyes now back on mine before he pulled away slightly, angling his body as he scanned the street.

"It won't be long until the police finally come out of their hiding places to take away the bodies, and soon enough people will be back on the streets." Callum's voice sounded almost foreign to my ears, and I couldn't help but look away when his eyes met mine.

"We can't go back to the hospital."

The fear in Elizabeth's voice was evident.

"Why—" Mason began.

"She'll get fired. Hell," a sarcastic laugh left my lips, "she would lose her license and be on the first flight back to America before she could even say 'that bitch Evie put me up to it.'"

I heard Sebastian let out a few curse words under his breath, but I didn't bother looking in his direction.

"Classic Evie," Mason said, his tone sharp as he glared at me. "Jeopardizing someone's life, for what?"

I ignored the sting his words caused and made myself roll my eyes before smirking.

"You're right, the selfish bitch has struck again!" I watched as his eyes narrowed before I directed my attention to Elizabeth, who looked like she was going to pass out at any moment. "Because I am nothing more than a narcissistic asshole who can't think of others, you're on your own."

I paused before continuing.

"But if, and mind you, this is all hypothetical—ifI was capable of being considerate, I would have had a backup plan in case anything ever went wrong, one that would ensure that you and your job are safe and sound."

"See the thing is, Lizzy," I smirked, "I would never throw you to the wolves. Instead, I would have you march your surprisingly uninjured ass back to the hospital, come in with tears and theatrics—really give them a show—about how I, the unstable bitch, had escaped and held you at gunpoint to make you drive me far, far away from the hospital, before I robbed you of your car and left you abandoned on the side of the road."

I watched as she mulled it over.

"No one will question you, and frankly, everyone will be relieved, dare I say overjoyed, to know I am gone."

Better judgment told me to end it there, but I couldn't help myself.

"Besides, just ask them," I gestured at the boys, "They'd vouch for that."

"Enough with the dramatics."

His hand clasped around my wrist as he led me to the car, a movement I resisted.

"I'm not going with you, get off of me," I snapped, pulling on my wrist as he glared down at me.

"Where the hell are you going then?"

"I don't know, but I'm not going with you." I bit out, increasing my struggles before Sebastian backed me against the car.

"I said," he growled out, leaning down till our faces were level. "Enough with the dramatics."

Silence set in as we stared at each other, my chest rising and falling in a sporadic manner while I tried to blink away the stars I was now seeing.

"Sebastian," Danny finally said, "We need to leave now."

"Oh so you haven't gone mute." I twisted my body away from Sebastian's to send Danny a glare. "After all this time I was wondering if you even remembered how to speak."

The sound of sirens in the distance served as a final warning.

I watched as Danny returned to the driver's seat, and as Elizabeth and Mason slid into the back. Callum kept his eyes down as he went into the passenger's side, leaving me alone with Sebastian.

To fight him would be futile.

I shrugged away from Sebastian's touch, but allowed myself to be guided into the car.

The adrenaline had worn down by now, and I could feel the events of the last few hours begin to weigh down on me.

I ignored the way sparks travelled up my leg when he slid in next to me, and I ignored the feeling on his, and everyone else's, eyes on me.

Instead, I stared out the window, focusing firmly on the aching pain that seemed to come alive in every part of my body.

"Evie," Danny's voice broke through the silence as the car glided through the empty streets. "I promise it will all make sense—"

"I don't care."

My voice didn't even sound like my own. I felt Sebastian stiffen next to me, but he did not react any further.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

No one spoke again after that.

+++++

I flinched slightly as Elizabeth inspected the wound on my head, her fingers digging into my scalp while she moved my hair and applied antiseptic.

My body was trembling from the draft in the room, and my wet hair wasn't helping much either.

"This looks much better now that it has been cleaned," she observed, finally releasing me from her grip.

I only nodded in response, my mind elsewhere as she attended to the wound on my arm.

I felt uncertain walking through the doorway.

The house looked different.

I swayed on my feet momentarily, biting my lip when I felt Sebastian's hand on the small of my back, steadying me.

"We had planned to move," Mason said, gesturing to the boxes, "So a few things are out of order."

I didn't bother responding.

I merely allowed myself to be led upstairs by Sebastian, while Elizabeth followed, her eyes trained on us closely as though she had suddenly become my guard dog.

I frowned when I realized I had been brought to his room.

"We already had packed your room." His explanation came quickly, but left me with even more questions.

"So that I could move out with you, or that you could move me out?"

My voice was firm, but barely above a whisper.

I knew he had heard me though, because his eyes began to deeply search mine.

"I just need a moment."

"Evie, wait," Sebastian reached for me, but I pulled away and forced myself towards the bathroom.

"It doesn't matter."

I held the doorframe tightly, bringing my eyes to meet his.

"None of it does."

"That should be good for another day, then I want to change it to make sure you don't get an infection."

Elizabeth's voice drew me away from my thoughts.

My eyes dropped down to the towel that was limply wrapped around my body, an action Elizabeth noticed.

"These are for you," she said softly, holding out a bundle of clothes.

I hesitated for a moment, recognizing the shirt as Sebastian's. The idea of wearing his clothes made my stomach twist, but I knew I didn't have much of an option.

Elizabeth stayed quiet while I changed, but I could sense there was something on her mind.

"Spit it out."

My voice was stronger now, and that provided me some relief.

"I just—" she began, evidently unsure of where to start. "You keep saying you don't care."

I raised a brow, and crossed my arms. "Was thatyour question?"

She blushed before continuing. "What I mean is, you say you don't care, and none of it matters, but—"

"Good god, Elizabeth, spit it out." I was losing patience, and her stammering was causing me to grow even more frustrated.

"It just seemed like it mattered a lot more before to you." She finally said, "At the hospital at least. You've spent the last month, going back and forth about them leaving you, but you always cared—"

"I was mad."

"And you're not mad anymore?"

It was my turn to hesitate.

"Look," I breathed out, "They gave up on me. They saw someone not worth saving and they just—" I gestured, "They gave up."

Elizabeth only stared in response, but even if she were to come up with something else to say, she wouldn't have had the chance.

I heard a brief knock before the door opened, and dug my fingernails into my palms when I felt my stomach jolt at the mere sight of him.

"I think it's time we talked."

+++++

She looked drastically different, but at the same time, he felt that she never looked more like herself. Her lips had color to them again, as did her cheeks, and her eyes shown with a glow that had not been there the last time he had seen her – one that hadn't been there for quite some time. Even more, she looked healthier, stronger even, despite the bruises that had begun to form and the bandages she now had wrapped around her arm and on her head.

This was an Evie that he, and the others included, had not seen in a long time, and one they were definitely not expecting to see today.

Sebastian watched Danny flinch as she stared at him, displaying her infamous blank stare while her face remained clear of all expression.

The sight of her made his heart race.

This was the girl that he had seen in the alleyway, the one that had made him realize his desperation to have her in his life.

"They gave up on me."

It was as though her words were playing on a continuous loop in his head, and he couldn't shake the feeling it brought him.

"The last month has been difficult," Mason finally spoke, breaking through the silence that had been clouding over them for what felt like hours.

She didn't react, but Sebastian saw something flash in her eyes—yet, it was gone in mere seconds.

"We've been under constant attack, ever since you were found. We," he hesitated, "the Kings have never faced a threat like this."

Elizabeth shifted on her feet, but she continued to remain stoic.

"You don't want to hear about any of this," he finally spoke, watching as her eyes slid over to him. "You don't care, right?"

Sebastian felt the muscle in his jaw jump, and he fought to remain calm while she stared at him.

"Evie," Danny attempted.

She didn't even bother looking at him.

"You know what," Sebastian said, his frustration getting the best of him, "you don't want to talk about the Kings and the hell we've been dealing with? Fine." He crossed the floor until he was standing a mere foot before her.

"Why don't you tell me why the fuck you weren't in the hospital this morning? Explain to me how you ended up in the middle of a turf war, in a worse shape than you had been in the hospital." His voice was low, and he watched her closely as she tensed slightly at his words. "Or are you going to continue giving us the silent treatment?"

She made no move to respond, and that alone was enough to send Sebastian over the edge.

"Answer me!"

His hands wrapped around her arms, and he watched her eyes flash before she tried to pull away—a movement that Sebastian prevented by holding her tighter, completely restraining her now trembling body.

To anyone, it would have seemed like she was scared.

But Sebastian was mere inches away from her, and that allowed him to see the unmistakable rage in her icy eyes.

He waited for her to lash out. To snap at him and speak carefully chosen words to hurt him—to hurt all of them.

She was capable.

She was morethan capable.

"I'm tired."

Her voice was monotone. Her body had gone still, and any glimpse of emotion had been drained from her eyes.

Sebastian stared at her before slowly releasing her from his hold.

His eyes dropped down to the bandage on her arm, and he inhaled sharply when he saw the blood that now stained it.

Evie noticed it too, and her lips dipped down slightly before she looked up at him.

"You hurt me."

She backed away, moving back towards the staircase before pausing.

"Glad to know some things never change."

+++++

I was drunk.

It had provided me some sense of comfort to know he still kept a bottle of whiskey in the nightstand beside his bed.

My eyes drifted down to the new bandage on my arm, one that Elizabeth was extremely unhappy about having to do.

I had remained silent while Elizabeth rebandaged the wound, unable to bring myself to say anything. I numbly at the food she had brought me, not being able to taste any of it. I stared at my hands as she muttered things under her breath, and gave a lazy nod and a forced smile when she demanded that I got some rest.

In my defense, I truly had.

But after tossing and turning miserably on his bed, suppressing screams as his scent washed over me in the sheets, I had given up and chosen what seemed to be the easier and much more entertaining option.

The first sip of alcohol brought me warmth—a warmth I had been craving.

And like an addict during a relapse, I couldn't bring myself to stop, nor did I want to.

With an unsteady hand, I brought the bottle up to my face, and squinted one eye in an attempt to measure how much had gone missing.

In all fairness, it did not exactly matter.

Because I was undeniably drunk, and that wouldn't change any time soon.

The alcohol, however, did not provide just warmth.

I felt confidence surge through my veins, leaving me feeling restless.

Perhaps it wasn't confidence, but rather, recklessness. Any responsibility I had once felt bound to was thrown out the window. I wanted to act out, to scream every thought that had crossed my mind in the past month—to finally express all the anger and pain that had seeped into my bloodstream, that had plagued my thoughts day in and day out, leaving me tormented and miserable.

I rose to my feet, feeling the simple movement rush through my body and cause me to sway slightly as the room seemed to spin.

Drinking with a concussion, even a minor one, cannot be good for one's health.

I could practically hear Elizabeth chastising me for my irresponsible actions.

But I wasn't done yet.

My feet moved on their own accord.

The determination that surged through my body allowed me to make my way down the hallway, where I paused momentarily at the top of the staircase.

My hand gripped the railing tightly, my knuckles turning while as I debated whether or not I should go down the stairs.

Whether or not I should confront them.

Whether or not I should release every suppressed thought and feeling that swarmed within me, aching to be let out.

The right choice would be to go back into the room, get the sleep I desperately needed, and then reconsider when my head was clear and I was sober.

"Your hurt me."

I'd almost broke down right then and there.

Now wasn't the time to make the right choice.

With that, I descended down the staircase.

+++++

"How would you know?"

Sebastian's head snapped up when he realized I had entered the room. Confusion appeared on his features, and he couldn't help but stare at her in response, his attention no longer on the reports that were scattered before him.

"What are you—"

"You said I'm in a worse shape than I had been in the hospital," my tone was taunting, "So let me repeat myself. How would you know?"

My voice was surprisingly steady, and I felt my nails dig into my palms to prevent myself from slurring or stumbling over.

The world was spinning around me, but I refused to let it show.

"You left me," I said, "You all just left me."

Sebastian tried shaking his head, but I waved my hand at him, not wanting to give him the chance to speak just yet.

"You want to tell me all about how the Kings have been suffering, how you've all been struggling, but you couldn't even think to check on me?" My voice was rising, and I watched as Sebastian rose from his desk slowly, taking short steps towards me.

I jerked away, my feet tripping over each other as I nearly fell backwards.

Sebastian tensed, but stopped in his tracks, recognizing the distance I needed.

"You are the worst person I know."

My words surprised the both of us, but it was as though I could no longer restrain myself from saying what was on my mind.

"You made me feel like you were there for me, that you wanted me to feel better," the volume of my voice was noticeably becoming louder as I spoke. "But then you left and you didn't fucking come back and the firsttime we see each other, all you wanted to do was get mad over me not being in the hospital."

"Evie, you don't understand—"

I let out a sarcastic, biting laugh.

"Oh no," I swayed slightly. "I do."

His eyes narrowed as I swayed again.

"In fact, I understand perfectly well."

"It's all about control with you," I spat at him. "Seeing me outside, in broad fucking daylight, instead of tethered to a hospital bed—" I let out an empty laugh. "That must have made you see red."

"You're drunk."

I glared at him.

"I'm mad."

He frowned at my words before moving towards me, disregarding the distance I attempted to place between us.

He stopped nearly a foot away, his dark eyes trailing over my form before locking on to mine.

"Then be mad."

I froze, confusion now setting in for me.

"Be mad, Evie." He repeated. "Be mad because I left you, we all did. Say everything you want to say because I know you want to."

I hesitated.

"Why?"

"Are you actually passing up an opportunity to scream at me?" A hint of amusement flashed through his eyes, and I felt myself grit my teeth as anger bloomed in my stomach.

"Go to hell."

I turned on my heel, and promptly exited the room, my blood boiling as I replayed the look he gave me.

"Running away?"

He had followed me.

My vision blurred.

"Don't you fucking dare bring that up." I was seething. "Running away?Me?"

I took a few shaky steps towards him, ignoring the way the room spun around me as I did.

"You don't get to stand there all high and mighty and mock me." I was practically yelling at him, and I was certain it was bound to attract attention soon, if it had not already. "You fucking left me there for weeks. You didn't visit, you didn't call—you didn't care. You fucking pretend to be a some changed man, but you—" I exhaled and shook my head, "you are nothing more than a pathetic excuse."

I was so consumed by my rage that I had failed to notice Sebastian tense up considerably, while the rest of the boys appeared by the doorway, not daring to step in.

My voice sounded foreign to my own ears, and it was becoming evident that I was being fueled by a drunken stupor.

"Evie, you're drunk," Danny said softly.

I ignored him.

"You want to know why the Kings are fucking falling apart?"

I knew I was entering a dark territory.

But I didn't care.

"Because," my tone was now sickeningly sweet. "It's being led by you."

He lunged at me, but even in my state. I was prepared.

I acted on instinct.

My hand swung and connected with his face.

I heard the intake of breath, I heard the resounding sound of my fist on his skin, and I heard the stream of curse words he let out quietly before he straightened up, his dark eyes piercing mine with a force that made the air leave my lungs.

I had hit him with a strength I hadn't even realized I had—especially given the fact I was practically blacking out of the spot.

"I am not the same girl you left in the hospital a month ago."

My heart pounded in my chest, leaving me breathless. I stayed silent as Danny stepped between us, slowly pushing Sebastian back before he gently placed his hand on my back and began to guide me to the staircase.

I felt the world spin around me, but I still managed to push away from him.

"You can be mad all you want," I muttered, my eyes meeting Sebastian's. "But you know I am right."

+++++

Almost an hour had passed since Evie had gone upstairs, leaving Sebastian practically seething.

He had wanted to follow her up the stairs, to yell at her and tell her how wrong she was about it all.

He hadn't abandoned her.

He was in over his head.

Everything he had known had fallen apart. The thing he had dedicated his life to was about to go under, and it was as though the only thing he could do was watch from a distance.

But he thought about her every day.

He thought about the girl who was in desperate need of stability, who had been alone for weeks in a hospital room, being driven to insanity with every passing day.

He had convinced himself that if he could fix everything else, then he would be able to help her.

But he had taken too long.

He felt the back of his chair bend in his grip before he shoved it aside, listening as it ricocheted off the wall.

He couldn't just stay in that room any longer.

He made his way up the stairs and didn't bother knocking before he entered, surprising both Danny and Evie.

The scene in front of him caused him to pause.

Danny was standing by the doorway to the bathroom while Evie sat on the edge of the bed, her hands grasping the sheets as she stared up at Sebastian, her face wiped of the crestfallen expression it initially had when he had first come in.

Her blank expression morphed into one of annoyance when Sebastian took a step forwards.

"Get out."

Sebastian tensed.

"No."

"Sebastian," Danny said quietly, "please just—"

"No." He turned to Danny and shook his head. "I need to talk to Evie, even though she is wasted—"

Evie rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Get out." Sebastian now spoke those words to Danny, and unlike Sebastian, Danny was compliant. He cast a look towards Evie before he exited the room, but her eyes were now trained on the floor.

He approached her slowly. She looked exhausted, but her eyes were alert, despite the drunken haze she was still in. Her body was tense, and she seemed to be having an internal debate with herself.

"Don't—"

She lifted her hand as if to ward him off. He watched as she stood and backed away, her movements jerky.

"I don't want to hear it."

Sebastian grit his teeth.

Her words had been echoing in his head ever since she had spat at him all while maintaining a sinister expression.

"I am not the bad guy."

She let out a sarcastic laugh, but refused to meet his eyes.

"Look at me."

She shook her head.

He moved closer, and her eyes met his, flashing dangerously as she took into account their proximity.

"I was in over my head."

She stiffened, her eyes searching his as she waited for him to continue.

"It feels like everything I have ever known has fallen apart." He continued, his eyes boring into my own. "The thing I had dedicated my life to was about to go under, and it was as though the only thing I could do was watch from a distance."

Evie shifted uncomfortably.

"I thought about you every day, Evie. I knew what I was doing was wrong but," he hesitated, "I thought if I could just fix everything, I could finally help you but—"

"I fixed myself."

A hardness had returned to her eyes, and Sebastian felt his heartrate quicken slightly in reaction to it.

The girl he was looking at was the girl he had seen in the alleyway. The one he had watched in awe all those years ago. The one who had captured his attention, and never for a moment lost it.

She was right.

She wasn't the same girl he had left in the hospital.

His hand moved towards her, and she jerked in response.

"Don't touch me."

He laughed under his breath, and took the final step towards her, closing the distance. He placed his hand on the wall beside her head, and the other by her waist.

"And what if I do?"

+++++

I shoved him away from me, growing angrier when he let me, not bothering to fight me at all.

"Why the fuck is this all a game to you?" My voice cracked slightly, but I felt stronger than I had in a while.

Surprise crossed his expression, quickly followed by regret, and it only made me more upset.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

I bit my lip, feeling all the pent up emotion build up.

"Can't you see you've done enough?"

He took a step back, his eyes on the carpet.

"I am so tired," my voice broke, and I felt the tears that I had thought I had suppressed for good come to the surface. "I am so tired, and this day has been horrible."

"I'm sorry."

I laughed.

"You don't want to know why?" The tears were now gone, but I felt a tightness in my chest.

He was now the silent one, unable to form a response.

"Today was horrible because I had to see you." I saw the pain in his expression, but I continued. "I had to see all of you. And even though I haven't seen you all in a month, even though I spent the last two weeks training my ass off, provingthat I am not some broken, disposable girl—"

"And worst of all, even though I should absolutely hate you and resent even being in the same room as you," my breath caught.

"I don't."

I let out another laugh.

"I don't hate you. I am mad at you, I am absolutely livid with you, but I don't hate you." I paused, "But I could. I could hate you and I could leave this all behind in a heartbeat because I am not going to put up with these games. I am not going to let you make me feel worthless—because that is exactly what you and everyone else did."

Sebastian's lips parted, and I found myself staring at them for longer than I should have.

"I am so tired because I am scared to fall asleep. I am scared to be in a bed that isn't the one from the hospital. I am scared to wake alone."

Sebastian took a step forward, but restrained himself from taking another.

"I am drunk." My voice was barely above a whisper. "I am drunk so you cannot hold this against me."

He nodded his head slowly.

I moved to the bed, and allowed my body to sink into the mattress.

I met his eyes.

"Stay."

"Okay."

His voice was soft.

I watched him closely as he sat down beside me.

"This doesn't mean anything." My tone was stubborn, almost childish.

He nodded once more, the sides of his mouth lifting slightly.

"I know."

I clutched the sheets around my body and glanced up at him again, my heart racing as he shifted his body so that he was lying beside me.

"I'm still mad."

He offered a small smile.

"I know."

And for the first time in a long time, I slept soundly. 

+++++

Author's Note

This took me incredibly long to write once I decided it was time to come back. It is 40 pages and I am not even sure if any of it is decent.

I hope to have more clarity in the next chapter for any confusion that comes from this one, so please message me/comment if there is anything that doesn't make sense!

Too all those who have stuck around, I really appreciate it. You all mean the world to me, and I owe you all so much.

With all the love in my heart, xx.