tw/ homophobia/hate speech

I had the misfortune of meeting her boyfriend a few days later when I picked her up to go to the water park.

He was sitting on the porch of the address she'd given me, with another guy. She came out immediately as I pulled up at the curb. I waved and hit the window button.

Her boyfriend's friend shaded his eyes to see me and smiled. It was a little creepy, not gonna lie. "Hey, Chloe, who's your friend?"

The boyfriend, who looked like a pig but maybe that was just me being biased, snorted appropriately. "Don't bother, dude. Look at those stickers; she's a lesbo."

Chloe's eyes widened. "Keith! What the fuck?"

He tried to feign surprise. "What, babe, is that not PC? Sorry, what should I say? The D word's out too, right? Can I still say lesbian? Sorry, dude, she's a lesbian." He caught my eye and smirked. "No offense meant, Chloe's new friend." He cracked up, clearly going for a reaction from her, and I hoped she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

I had something I'd like to give him, a hand grenade maybe, but I maintained my cool. 

"No worries," I said airily, which anyone who knew me at all knew meant you now have Worries, Big Worries, All The Worries.

Chloe was red, miserable. "Don't be a dick, okay? Jesus, I hate you." She shook her head, trying to hide the humiliation and failing. I got the idea it wasn't an unusual feeling for her and it pissed me off a little more.

"Yeah, yeah, bye Chloe," he dismissed her, chugging some beer.

She slammed the door and dared to meet my eyes with a trembly smile. "I'm really sorry about him. They're already drunk," she said, clicking her seat belt as I pulled away from the curb. "He's not really homophobic."

I didn't know whom she was trying to convince, but I gave her the out. What else could I do? Of course he was homophobic. "It's fine," I said easily. I'd heard worse. Much worse. "Guys are dumb. Don't give it another thought."

She had on a white sundress and a red bikini underneath that tied behind her neck. Maybe it would come untied. One could only hope.

"He's just a total ass when he's drinking," she tried again. "Even more so than usual." I got that she was defending herself for being with him, though it was really hard to see why they were together. I barely knew her; she must have her reasons.

"Really, it's fine," I said, emphatically, not wanting to spend any more energy on Dickboy.

"It's really not, but I can't--" she blew out air in frustration. "I know it's bad that I'm with a guy like that but I just can't--I'm not able to explain it to you. Right now," she finished lamely.  "I know that makes no sense."

"Listen," I said, though I was properly intrigued. "You explain whatever you want to me, whenever you're ready, and I'll be here for it, okay?"

She nodded, her lips pressed together, picking at a cuticle.

"Hey," I said, daring to touch her bare arm for a moment as I pulled up to a stoplight. She looked up at me. "Don't give him another thought today."

"I won't," she agreed, finally relaxing. I accidentally-on-purpose had Hayley Kiyoko's Expectations playing and Feelings came on then. "Ooh, I love this song," she said, turning it up. "I'm hooked on all these feeelings," she sang, on-key, and I couldn't believe my overall luck. "I love Hayley Kiyoko."

"Same," I said happily, turning it up a little more.

They had a killer snack bar at the park and we ate throughout the day. I loved that she loved food. I ate pretty well most of the time and running around after Hailie burned a lot of calories, so I could eat whatever I wanted on the days where the opportunity presented itself.

"Okay, these fried cheese things are the best so far," I said decidedly several hours later. We were sitting in the shade outside, and had gone on everything in the park at least once. The biggest water slide, at least a dozen times. My ultra waterproof expensive-as-hell makeup was holding up just about perfectly and I was so glad.

"No, try this," she said, holding out an onion ring.

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't like onions."

She gasped theatrically. She'd braided her wet hair back and loose strands curled to form a frame around her lovely face. I resisted tucking one behind her ear. "You don't like onions? How do you eat guacamole?"

I coughed, feigning a cringe. "I don't like avocados?"

"Oh my God." She put her hand to her chest. "This pains me greatly. Wow. My heart. Ouch. Okay."

We were both grinning and damned if there wasn't chemistry there; it wasn't my imagination. "It's okay without the onions, I guess," I said nonchalantly, intentionally.

"Okay without the . . . okay, no. I will make you some guacamole that you will love, without onions, God forbid, just wait." She shook her head. Her mascara was a little smeared in one corner and it was endearing. 

"Good, no one cooks for me," I said easily. "And your makeup got a little wet here," I said, touching my own face in the same spot though I wanted to touch hers.

"Damn, waterproof mascara my ass," she said with a roll of her eyes. She poured a little water onto a napkin and wiped the offending area. "Did I get it?"

"Yep." I ate another cheese ball or whatever they were. Delicious. I glanced at the clock on the wall with a sinking feeling. I'd already been gone almost four hours, which was as long as I liked to leave the house. My aunt didn't handle Hailie well after that amount of time.

It may seem like my aunt, whose name is Vanessa by the way, was not a very good mother. In fact this wasn't necessarily true. She was just an incredibly stressed out ball of worry and exhaustion. She drank too much to combat it and that didn't help, of course. But she had the bookstore which was failing, and the kids' "father" had left when Hailie was three because she screamed all the time.

"I don't know what's wrong with that kid, but it came from your side," he had yelled one night, in front of Hailie and Nathaniel. "And I'm fucking done. I can't live like this."

He'd walked out and we hadn't heard from him since.

Hailie of course remembered everything in her life down to what episode of Sesame Street had been on that day, so she periodically wondered aloud if it was her fault he was gone. I hated that man.

Of course then my mom had been killed a year later, which had really messed my aunt up because that was her big sister, who had always helped her with everything. My mother had the business sense, and was the one who kept the bookstore afloat.

Hailie was also used to my mom providing much of her care, and it threw her into a huge tailspin to lose her. I hadn't of course been the most helpful at that point, in a deep depression for months after, and when you looked at all of it, it was no wonder the poor child was still unsettled.

"Wow, you are thinking way too hard," Chloe said gently, bringing me back to the moment.

I shook my head a little. "Sorry, I'm tired. This was the best, but I should get home soon."

She smiled in understanding. "I get it. Do you have time for one more? It's new and it was basically made for you."

I was intrigued and followed her through the park to an area under construction that said Kiddieland. Everyone knew her since her family owned the place, and people had greeted her with genuine pleasure throughout the day. It continued now and she responded in kind but didn't stop to talk, which I appreciated.

I couldn't miss the rainbow painted above a finished building and this was the one she led me to. "Hold up," she said, using a key on a little door which she then opened and disappeared through.

My aunt texted then to ask when I would be home, which meant she wanted to tag me in. I told her I would be there soon.

A minute later Chloe came back out and flashed a smile at me before opening the larger door that would be used for patrons of the park to enter. "After you," she said, gesturing.

I stepped through and it was dark so I hesitated. I don't love the dark. But then the lights came on to show the large, empty white room.

I looked at her, perplexed, but her smile only grew. "Wait for it," she said.

Suddenly there were thousands of rainbow prisms everywhere, the kind that show up when sun hits a crystal, the beautiful, vivid, vibrant ones. "What," I said, turning in a circle slowly. I looked up and saw the crystals hanging from the high ceiling and the bright lights that caused the wondrous effect. "I love it!"

"I'm glad. It's called Catching Rainbows, for obvious reasons," she said, holding out her hand so one of the rainbow spots sat in it. "There's a switch to move them around and kids can chase them."

I did the same, cupping the intense color combination in something akin to wonder. "So cool," I said, meaning it. "What a beautiful idea."

"Thank you," she said modestly. She started walking through the room as the colors played over her face and body. "We had this crystal panel in the front door when I was growing up, and this would happen in the entry way when the sun set each night. It was always so, I don't know, magical, kind of? It's difficult to duplicate with artificial light, but we figured it out."

"I could spend all day in here," I said, wishing I didn't have to go home. 

"I knew you would love it."  She smiled, and she already had my heart.