Here is a short poem called "Oh Humanity!", composed by a very unstable Cabby/Logi/LC/whatever you call me. This is just to "set" the mood:

Oh Humanity, we are forever
Doomed!
The how is always there; the why never
Loomed!
Oh Humanity, lives won't be ever
Groomed!

All a lost soul can do is ask and slate:

When are people never in deception?
Is it when one sees beyond the told woes,
Tales who falsely provoked interception
From the holy being?
Or is it when one accepts the gold ring
With lies that titillates them to the toes?

All a bitter heart did was think in hate:

When are people truly disenchanted?
Is it when one grows bored of their doll house,
The once regarded playthings now granted
As another past?
Or is it when one awakens, aghast
That they once had worn bruises as a blouse?

All a broken mind does is contemplate:

When are people judged as disposable?
Is it when one permits for the abuse
To cremate them that even pliable
Pawns would know to brawl?
Or is it when one is ordered to crawl
Just for Betrayal to be in his muse?

Oh morality!
My legs still sink more by the passing day.
Oh, Humanity!
When will the time come to have it my way?

Anyway... I'm really pissed off, despite what happened to me already passed by hours. Of course since I am me and I'm running out of places to rant, I'll do it here.

But quick question, and feel free to comment below about it: what do you think is an atheistic person?

Perhaps it's because I act too "white" in my minority charter school (whatever that means), but it seems people have begun to think differently from the truth. Too drastically for my taste.

Myth: Atheism is directly associated to being a worshipper of the devil.

Truth: An actual atheist believes in no heaven or hell so IDK why the myth applies.

Now I'm sure that: a) some of you guys are atheist like me, b) you know the distinctions between beliefs, or c) you are a rare case of universally accepting people.

I'm not even sure of how the altercation happened. All I know was that I was painfully finishing a test in APUSH when someone threw a paper ball at me. That should've been a warning that it wasn't meant to be a nice chat, but I turned around for curiosity's sake. Next thing I know, some random girl asks me if the "L" on the green satchel I had with me was meant to stand for Lucifer.

I surprisingly did not flip out there and held my cool. Just to clear it up, the "L" is actually meant to stand for Logi, but it's not like I enjoy promoting my Wattpad life to random people at school. Nor will they even begin to understand how one can read willingly or write for the fun of it.

Anyway, I told her it didn't. She pressed on and kept asking me what it stood for. All I did was tell her that it was none of her business and saw no logical reason to disclose such information. Next thing you know, all of her friends ganged up on me and cursed me out. It's funny how they remember I'm an atheist yet they can't even recall my name. (Unless in their dictionary a b*tch is my name)

So yeah, they bashed on me for being a Lucifer believer. Yes, I know that the wiser thing was to leave the conversation but two things were why I continued: a) hubris, b) I was not about to let myself and the name of atheism be humiliated at such extents and c) wynuat annoy them as much as they vexed me? I then pointed out their Christian faith and asked them why they were acting so hypocritical (as they spent a whole two minutes cursing me out) given that the Bible talks about respect and all.

One of them snapped at me saying that I don't deserve respect from him as I am an atheist. Huh. And given that I do have a sharp memory at the right times, I recalled that he was a boy who in a debate last week in class argued that equality should be given to African Americans and was forced to agree that everyone should be given equality for morality's sake. And wynaut point that out?

The rest of the class cheered at that, but did nothing to stop this. I took advantage to scan the room and locate the teacher. Fun fact: she was on her phone as they cursed/insulted me. This is the same teacher that nearly wrote me up for saying "dammit" after I witnessed someone jumping over a desk. So yeah, great to know that people are so eager to step up for me. Not all at once.

Anyway, back to the gang. Or the seven musketeers. Or the circle of drunkenteers. Whatever. At that point the boy fumed and said that he'd beat my ass down. I laughed (genuinely) and smiled (not so genuinely). You know what I said?

"Why, thank you." :)

I think it pissed the whole group off that I failed to show the annoyance that made me dream of slugging them all. Or at least insulting their religion. But given that I do know real Christians/Catholics/actual religious people I held back. So I held that fake smile and haughty laughter as they continued.

I was disappointed in myself that I didn't argue further. Then again there is no arguing with these people, so eh. I let the drunkenteers insult to their heart's content until they ran out of things to say. Or they were crestfallen at my togetherness. Or their vocal chords ached from all the screaming they produced.

I was glad that they stopped. But that is not what pissed me off. When I glanced around the room, everyone else acted like nothing happened. I gave up on the teacher and I glanced at my friends. Or should I say "friends". As in the two ex-friends that I found myself wedged between as my seat was taken from me. And then my current "friends". Said friend offered me to switch seats, but I refused and smiled sadly.

I was devastated that no one stood up for me. Usually one of my "friends" in class wouldn't hesitate to tell people to shut the fudge up. This time she was as silent as a bee. The other "friend" who offered me to switch seats would gladly correct anyone who misuses the word of the Bible. This time she was no where to be found during the bashing. The ex-friends have an excuse; I screwed one over while the other screwed me over. But the current ones?!

Maybe they secretly agreed to such madness. Perhaps that's why they felt the need to stay silent. But why offer me condolences after all the bitterness was exchanged?! There really was no point in them bringing the issue up, at least in my eyes. What's done is done and they can't take back what those people think of me. Or rather my lack in beliefs. It also secretly pissed me off that one of them said that they felt "so helpless" as I was bashed.

LIKE THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED YOUR MOUTH TO SPEAK. YOU DIDN'T HESITATE EARLIER WHEN ARGUING IN AN EARLIER CLASS, SO WHY KEEP SILENCE?!

And yes I know I expect too much from people. Maybe it's because I'm loyal by fault that I fail to see things. But maybe I did deserve to have no one step up for me. Sure my "friends" told me to not listen to the words, but why say it in an empty hallway rather than the crowded class? I would throw my hands in the fire for them as I've done many times over in the same class and others. I never hesitated to side with them when I thought that they were right.

I think at this point I did something wrong. Who knows what exactly it is? But I had to swallow down all that anger from not only my indignation but my own helplessness. And maintained that stupid façade until the end of the day.

Telling my family? What family (the same one who for years expressed discontent for my decision)? Reporting the drunkenteers? Like who would even want to testify as a witness in my favor?

At least my Physics teacher overheard that chat in the halls and offered his own lamentations. I guess being an atheist was never an easier road to begin with.

So am I being a wuss for experiencing this? No way. I've been familiar with such issues, although it's the first time in my junior year that this is even a topic. All I'm wondering is why people didn't stand up for me.

The answer is probably simple: I'm a lost cause.

Anyway, now let me forget my own misery as I read/judge the one-shots for the Pokémon Writing League. The ones I read thus far are good, so I really can't wait to finish them!

(P.S. the title is a song so yeah, just take these lyrics into mind)

The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
A light to burn all the empires
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
In love with all of these vampires
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me