Veronica

I see his feet poking out as soon as I walk down the aisle and, immediately, I wonder how I am going to handle this. My sweet John is not the kind of guy who gets angry easily, so I don't have much experience dealing with this side of him.

He's sitting on the floor, hugging his legs to his chest, his chin resting on his knees. His vacant eyes don't even bother to look at me, even when I stand right in front of him.

"Here you are," I try.

He doesn't say a word; in fact, he barely acknowledges my existence.

In the distance, a bell rings. John doesn't look like he's planning to budge any time soon, so I guess I'm skipping classes.

Then he reads my mind.

"You'll be late," he says, his voice flat. "You should get going." But he looks right through me as though I'm invisible. "I'm skipping classes today, but I'll be here if you want to come during breaks."

"Wait. You're going to be sitting here all day?"

"Yep."

I sit down on his left, and lean against his shoulder. "Then I'll be sitting here with you."

"Don't be like this, Vee. You never skip classes." His voice is even and collected, and if someone who didn't know him were watching, they wouldn't be able to know how angry he is. But we've been together for so long now that he can't fool me; not even a little.

"I guess there's always a first time." I rest one side of my face on my knees so I can watch him, and even though he still isn't looking back, I give him my best smile. The usual light in his cheerful blue eyes has gone out. It's as if someone switched off the light in his soul and locked the doors to his heart. It is truly a nightmare. "I'm glad my first time skipping classes is to spend the day with you, my dear John."

He inhales deeply earth then lets out an equally long sigh, and there it is: the return of a very small spark in his eyes. He turns to me, and I know he's trying to stay serious, but he smiles at me anyway. He stands up, shaking his head, and extends a hand to help me to my feet.

I don't take it.

"Come on," he says. "Let's go to class, Vee."

"What?! No way!"

"Huh? I thought you told me not to make you skip classes."

"Oh, so you actually got my message but didn't answer?" I narrow my eyes at him, pretending to be mad.

"Come on! We're gonna be late!"

"You know, I meant it when I told you I'd skip classes to be with you."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Vee, you've NEVER skipped a single class in your entire life."

"Right. So what?"

He stands with hands on hips now, looking at the stairs above our heads. "And you never allowed me to skip a class either. How come you're suddenly okay with this now?"

"I just am."

"Vee, that's weird."

"Right. It's also weird that you left home without Martin and didn't pick me up on your way, like you've done every single day since we met. It's weird that you avoided us both to hide under this ugly and dusty staircase. It's weird that you got into a fight with your mother." I pause to gauge his reaction, but he's pretty much a robot. "But then again, all the weirdness started yesterday at Aloha-Aloha when your parents took you to the basement. That's a long list of weirdness for a twenty-four hour period, and you know what? I don't get any of it. So, I'd love to sit here and hear what you have to say about it. Because right this second, I care a lot more for my boyfriend than I do for one skipped class."

He rakes a hand through his spiky hair; then rubs his eyes. Breathes another heavy sigh, and plops down again, next to me.

"I just think Mom is going to change a lot of things," he says, leaning on me and resting his head on my shoulder.

I lift my hand to caress his cheek, enjoying the prickly feel of his stubble.

"And sure, the last time things changed it was actually a good thing, because I ended up here, befriending my cousins and then meeting you. But then I think about things changing again, and how can that be a lucky move? I don't want things to change. I like living here and having friends, and what I like most of all, is having your hand on my cheek, just like this."

It takes me a minute to process everything he's said. And when the light dawns, I feel my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. "Wait, you guys are moving?" I sit up straight and give him a questioning look, and I can see him madly trying to rearrange his thoughts.

"What? No!" He tries a smile, but it doesn't fit on his face.

"John, please don't lie to me about this."

"I'm not! I swear!" And then he hugs his knees, assuming the same position he was in when I found him. "I just thought about the worst-case scenario. Grandma Enedith is really bad and Dad thinks she might have dementia, and Mom isn't going to leave her alone. She doesn't want to put her in a nursing home, either. So, she might decide to take care of Granny at Granny's place because we don't have our own house here for her to move into. So just like that, my world could change; OUR world, could change, Vee."

He snaps his fingers to illustrate his point. "That would mean no Celadon, no Aloha, no Martin, no Alex, no Aunt Sugar..." A sudden wave of despair washes over him as he buries his face in his knees. I know he's gathering the strength to add my name to the list, but I fear he'll crumble and get sucked into a vortex of sadness if he does, so I wrap my arms around him to try to keep him together in one piece.

"Don't say it, John. You're not losing me."

"You can't promise me that, Vee."

"Yes, I can!" I scream, which snaps him out of his funk.

He looks at me, tears forming in his big puppy dog eyes.

"Even if your parents put you in a damned rocket ship and blast you out of this galaxy, I won't stop loving you. Ever!"

A hint of life sparks in his eyes and tears run down both of his cheeks. Those eyes, those baby-blue eyes I fell in love with, are looking at me, my face, my eyes, my mouth. And then he cups his hands around my face, and we're kissing. And it's the worst kiss he's ever given me, because it tastes like tears, and sadness and indescribable longing. He's missing me even though we're together, so I grab his shirt and pull him closer, kissing him deeply. I long for the cheerful, happy John who somehow got lost yesterday in that stupid basement. I want him back; I want him closer; I want him forever. And I want him to know that he's not alone.

I just can't bear the thought of his leaving.