I never thought that my first time would be with a man.

I always told myself that Adrienne would offer me my first night with someone. But I was wrong.

I rolled over on the bed to turn towards Clark, and smiled. This god just had sex with me.

I stood up, not worrying that I was totally naked. I just had a perfect moment, and nothing could break this.

Except my little brother.

He was frozen in front of my door, his school bag still on his shoulder. He gave a little look in my room, and I quickly closed the door.

- What are you doing here, Billie ? Alan asked. And who's that man ?

- I knew that mom and...(my voice trembled) dad were gone to Italy so I thought that... that it would be the perfect moment to make my bag to leave home for real.

- So you gonna tell me that you were making your bag totally naked and with a man, who obviously must be naked too, in your bed ? I'm not stupid.

I blushed.

- His name is Clark, he's... a friend.

Alan sighed.

- A very good friend, uh ?

- A very good friend, I answered.

My little brother was three years younger than me, but really cleverer.

- Um... Gonna do my homework... So.. bye.

I looked at him. One of his eyes was black. His lip was open, and a bruise mark spread across his cheek. This bastard hurt hum again.

- Before your homework... Wait five minutes, I said.

He raised an eyebrow.

- Okay...

I put on a t-shirt, boxers and jeans, and hugged him.

- I'm so sorry I left you... It... it was just too hard to bare. I couldn't live this anymore.

- It's okay, I understand. You're old, you can run away.

His words and his bitter tone hurt me a lot. But not as much as his next question :

- Where's Addie ?

- Not... not here, I answered after a very long silence.

- She left you, uh ?

His perspicacity would have made me smile, if the occasion was good. But it wasn't.

- She left me, I whispered.

- It's a good thing, he finally said. She deserve a good man, not a loser like you.

He ran onto his room, while I screamed :

- There's nothing wrong with being a loser !⁵