Beautiful Ruins

Summary: "I will make it a lie."

◇◇◇

Feeble daylight that lingers despite the rain is fading away.

Amrit knows their world will not afford much longer for them to hide. That night was supposedly a celebration before the final  race; an event which would draw eyes. Those eyes will be focused on Veer - seeing and judging no matter what. This meeting with Chauhaan had been a mistake.

Amrit's grip on Veer never falters. She'd be doomed before she allows him to fall apart before others. Those pieces of him, beautiful ruins - they belong only to her.

He allows her to take him, allows himself to be blindly lead. She takes him to the awaiting ride and off they go, back to the gaping jaws of their own demons.

He rests his head on her shoulder, yearning for physical contact, to be held and comforted. Amrit had never seen him like that, so lost and vulnerable and all the more precious because of it. She wraps her arms around him and holds him to her, gently rocking - gently coaxing.

At the same time she wonders how much of what awaits them could she share with Veer as he was just then.

If she should perhaps tell him that she had met someone else before she found him out there on the rain?

That, their meeting with Chauhaan had been a spark in the tinderbox that had set off a series of cannons firing?

Amrit had run into Narad Sha and Mr. Raizada just outside Chauhan's library.

Both men had stopped short at her sight, their conversation whatever it had been drawing to an abrupt ending. There is a greedy shine to Narad's eyes while Raizada looks perturbed - he might have been trying to stop the former from meeting Veer and Amrit here. Only momentarily does Amrit wonder whether Veer had walked past them without realizing they were there - or the two men had missed him by a second or so.

"Your highness," Narad is quick with a sleek smile. "Such a pleasant surprise. I've been trying to set up a meeting with Kuwar sahab but he is awfully busy, luckily we ran into each other like this here of all places."

He speaks completely ignoring the other man.

"If I may make assumptions- since Chauhan sahab has been a well meaning right hand during late Rana Sahab's political career  - I hope meeting with him has been an indication that kuwar sahab is ready to take the mantle-"

"My husband isn't here," Amrit tells him. "Whatever gave you the impression Narad ji? I'm merely paying a call on Anita Chauhaan ji who wished to see me during her short visit to India."

Narad's smile dims to be replaced by a scowl at being thwarted yet again.

"If you excuse me -" Amrit moves to leave.

"Do you think you could ensnare him for long ladki?" He calls after her, the earlier decorum entirely forgotten. Amrit turns to look at him. His face has darkened.

"Ranjhan? Do you think stopping us from having a meaningful discussion with him will keep the Kuwar from joining our party? It is where he belongs! He belongs to people who worked with his father!"

Amrit frowns.

"I don't think anybody owns anybody else Mr. Sha, surely you don't mean it that way. Kuwar sahab kissi ke jhaghir nahi hai."

"Says the girl who has him eating from her palm," the man retorts mockingly. "I've been hearing intriguing tales about you - Ranjhan. Why - this gentlemen here himself was telling me about your life in Pakistan. Hmm? Your marriage there? Not sure you'd want the Panchayat hearing all about that now - "

"Yeh Kaisi bakwaas hai," Amrit cannot help the look of betrayal she aims at Mr. Raizada. "Aap se yeh umeed nahi thi," she tells him, feeling nothing but the emptiness gnaw at her as she meets his eye.

"I don't know where you plan to go with this but - two things - by the time it became Pakistan I wasn't a part of that country. Also, no marriage took place. Shaadi hone wali thi- hui nahi."

"Kaun gawah hai iss baat ki?" Narad asks her slyly. "There were your family half of which is dead. The other half scattered and not entirely unsuseptible for a little persuasion. Then there was Mr. Raizada and his family. Agar hum kahein ke shaadi hui thi, toh phir kya?"

The man takes her silence as a sign of victory and takes a step closer.

"Do you see how easily we could use you to ruin everything? You could never be anything more than a weakness by Veer's side. It is better that you step down now.

"Warna tumhare ateet ke kahi aur kirdaar laut kar aayenge aur yeh tumhare liye teek nahi rahengi."

Amrit's eyes shift to Mr. Raizada. Under her accusing gaze the man looks almost apologetic, but then he bites his lip and squares his jaw.

"You shouldn't have done what you did with my Randheer," he says. "Uss ka dil tod di tum ne. Iss baat ki kabhi maafi nahi milengi tumhe. Yeh jo mehelo wali zindagi ki kwaab dekh rahi ho - kabhi nahi milenge tumhe."

If she had doubted the possibility of this man being the assailant from Veer's memories Amrit doubts no more. The malice in him is palpable and crazed. The threat he promises is very real.

Beside him Narad watches her with a promise of reckoning of his own. It is then Amrit had turned and taken off, desperate to find and restore Veer from his misconceptions and heartbreak.

Amrit dismisses the servants and closes the door to their chambers just as they step across.

Veer watches her with haunted eyes, dripping water where he stands. She takes his hands in hers, the cold that suddenly seeps from his skin to hers makes her shudder.

This was what they were fighting over she cannot help but think. This shell of a man Veer would be if they took her from him, if they took away the little that holds him sane. His trust in his father. His love for her. It was the job of one to restore the other.

Leaving his hands to hang aimlessly Amrit cups his face instead, with intentful fingers.

"I will make it a lie," she promises. "Because it is. A half truth is always a half lie."

She peels off the sodden layers of clothing, running her palms along the length of his arms, trying to infuse a warmth that he refused to take.

That haunted look remains in his eyes. He looks like a stranger wearing her husband's skin, beneath all the familiar countenance that her fingers know blind - a new, unfamiliar tension coils, wild, untamed and almost threatening.

Amrit had wanted to coax him into reading the king's journal that she had brought along. All her soft attentions that usually thaw him, harden him instead.

At the sight of that book, weary and leather bound, something snaps inside him. There is a violent storm in his eyes as he snatches it off her hands - she had intended to read it - make him listen, fury ripples off him as he strides off towards the fireplace.

"Nahi!" Amrit scrambles after him, managing just in time to throw herself around him, wrapping her arms around his middle and holding him back from feeding that to fire.

He thrashes around wildly, wrestling her off his back and slamming her against the wall beside the fireplace. His arms brace around her, his storm crazed eyes burning into her.

"Why - would you choose him?" He growls low, wrathful. His hand reaches for the book. "Give it here."

Amrit clutches the book against her bossom, her arms wrapped around it.

"No," she says, bracing herself against his weight. "This carries a father's soul. Your father's soul. Aise zaleel Matt kijiye. Paap lag jaayengi aap ko."

"I said give it here."

"And I said no!"

She flinches when he moves closer, shrinking against the wall, engulfing that little leather bound treasure all the more in her embrace. He stops an inch from her, breathing hard on her face.

"See!" He says, his voice dripping with self loathing. "Have you ever flinched like that before? You do now because you know what a disgusting man he had been. What kind of blood runs in my veins. You are afraid because somewhere inside you wonder how long it will take for me to turn into that sort of a man! And you dare take his side!"

She shudders at his raised voice.

"Oh for God's sake!" He roars now. "I'm not him! I'm-"

Her hand that reaches for him is soft and hesitant. But effective enough for him to stop mid sentence. He stares down at her as she places a sure hand against his heart.

"I know what you are," she says. "I'm afraid of your demons as much as you are. Don't let your grief turn you into something you are not Veer. Don't let someone's half truth blind you to every good thing about your father you've known and loved. You've born so much for so long, have a little more endurance and hear me out."

"I will end up hurting you Amrit," he exhales. "It's in my blood."

She wraps her arms around him, pressing herself against his heart.

"You won't. Stop fearing yourself," her palms rub up and down against his spine and he gulps for air. "Those are letters he has written for you. Jaan."

He stills, completely. Her arms tighten around him.

"They ask you not to hate him. To listen and understand. He is sad that you will never know him. He will never know you. They way you both yearn to. He had known he would die from the moment Prem was born - it was then he began writing those letters. If his has ever been a fault it is love. He says he cannot atone that, or he doesn't regret it.

"Ishq woh gunah hai jiss ki koi maafi nahi. He says. If you read them, if you read him - you will know, he would never kill Prem. Did you know he was the one who named him Prem?" She goes on taking his silence as her cue to continue. Words fumble from her lips as nerves take hold of her.

"He could never harm a part of her. I beg of you to believe in that - believe in his love which was his undoing."

"If he had taken her by force - if so - then she too had taken his life. Not in one violent outburst. But through careful planning. Bit by bit. Over a period of agonizing suffering. And he let her. He let her take it all...his honor, his power, his life. He had only sought to save you. You - owe - him - this! You owe him one last chance to tell his side of story. He has been silenced for so long. You owe him his aawaz."

She steps away, ducks her head so that he catches only a glimpse of a tear as she wipes it away.

"Nothing justifies murder," she breathes. "Ek bachche se usske baap ko cheenna jayaz nahi hota."

Veer doesn't reply that, shattered remains of his exhale are heavy upon her face.

"If you must know one thing know this he did not wish any ill for Prem," Amrit tells him.

Tucked into the journal's leather cover she takes out the much sought after will.

"Prem hasn't been cut off like everyone believes - in fact, while it is obvious that he cannot claim any title, Rana sahab wanted him to be given the education befitting a prince. He had set aside funds for that. So that when the truth someday comes out Prem would be well equipped to make his way in the world. He did it because he loved her. And Prem was a part of her. He would have died defending him. But did Ma sahab return the favour? Unki aakhri nishani aap the, aap ke saat kya kuch nahi ki Ma sahab ne? Does anything justify that?"

She takes a deep breath and places the journal on the bed.

"It's yours. Do what you will."
"Kahaan jaa rahi ho?" Veer asks thickly after a moment. The pleading in his voice almost makes her turn back and rush to take him into her arms. Amrit stops herself with effort.

"People expect us down at the function. One of us has to go. I will not let them see their arrows have drawn blood."

"Biwi -"

She turns, no longer hiding her tears, or her fear.

"I've been threatened. Aaj subah subah kissi ne mujhse kaha ke meri kushi zada din nahi rehena wali. Aur ek kamzori ke siva hum aap ke kuch nahi ban sakthe. That they will take you from me and you will go willingly. I don't know if I could stop them. If some half truth can make you hate your father - I don't know how deep etched I am in your heart not to be taken out."

"Am -"

"Mujhse akhele nahi honga. Par phir bhi main jaaungi. Knowing they are lying in wait. Knowing maybe next you will start doubting me. I still have to go. Fight for what is right. Fight for you. If you care - you can come too. You can help me. You can find it in yourself to believe again. Be the man that I love. Be the man your father thought you will be. Take what he has left for you, what is rightfully yours. Or you can stay here and wallow in self pity, let them snatch it all, let them hurt me. Do what you will. Aap ke zindagi. Aap ke marzi."

*
Oh I'm seriously sorry about going MIA. I have this allergy problem which is persisting and getting aggravated from time to time. Something of the sort happened last week too. :-/
Hopefully things will remain under control from now on and the story will go on. Last leg, it is, so pay attention to everything between the lines.
Will continue soon! And everyone who inquired after me and CK, big hug to all of you! I felt really good and cared for because of you guys! Thank you!
Cheers!