you told me to wait for you. i did like you said, i had been waiting for five years but you hadn't come back yet. did you still miss me bang chan or i was just a toy to you? i was tired of waiting every single day, exhausted from feeling overwhelmed and depressed. people told me i had looked much skinnier but i just shrugged, i loved ruining myself this way.

come back please chan. i needed you. the day you left me, they sky remained a gray image with stormy clouds and every plant surrounding us seemed to sadden. you kissed me, your kiss brought the smell of cigarettes. i hated cigarettes but because of you, i could smoke frequently. the smoke from your latest cigarette before you left me stained in the atmosphere, gave me hope to not give up waiting for you.

did you know how many scars i had made just to wait for you? i cut my hands constantly, exhaled the odour of blood, it was stinky but i adored it, i was disgusting right? i was in the state of being excruciating to the pain i had endured. ironically, the main reason here was because of you. just come back, my tattoos missed you too.

come back, please chan. without you, i can't do this anymore.