I am reviewing SylvemonDigi's OC of the same name.

Art Critique:

So, where to start? Okay, good things first. You drew this yourself, and that is already great. However, you do need to work on proportions (chest area, body, etc.) As for colors, they all are pretty plain. Also very edgy. It's very hard to see her eyelashes amongst the black hair and ears. The red, while not as bad as others, is still a bit too stand-outty. The purple arm things, they seem almost unnecessary. On to the clothing... There's quite a lack of it. She's wearing a black underwear-type thing, and a ripped red "shirt". Oh, and the collars. While yes, based on what I could gather she does, or at one point did, live in the wild, these clothes still don't make sense. ESPECIALLY the collars! They seem unnecessary and rather crude for her. Based on what I read, she was kinda shy, lived happily, and only went "bad" when she was pushed, like by that Mightyana. So this super edgy goth-like look makes little sense. Also the colors are quite off for a shiny eevee.

Here is my drawing based off the original:

Here is the design I think would work best for her story:

With this design, her personality comes through more. You can also tell that she is supposed to be a shiny eevee, not just an edgy furry (No offense).

Onto story:

Okay, it's an okay start. Her backstory is somewhat interesting. With it stating how she will change, I'm interested. But then there's the whole "special because she's female..." thing. Yeah, as far as I know, female eevees aren't that rare. Also her family. Oh boy... So her mum was a glaceon and her dad was a mewtwo... Uhhh... Mewtwo can't breed, and is a clone of mew (possibly spliced with Dr. Fuji's daughter Ai...), so the genetics would just be mew's, who also can't breed. You say it's your universe, but even still, it's a simple thing in Pokemon, most legendaries can't breed, just manaphy. And this still dosen't explain the rest. Her brother's a frokie? Her sister's an Alolan vulpix?! There's messing up slightly, and then there's just ignoring basic genetics! Two cat-like  (cat-like not cats!) creatures somehow making a frog? I kinda see with Alolan Vulpix, but that's adaptations, not coming from an ice-type. They're adapted to live in Alola, so they can only be found in Alola. Unless this is Alola... A way to fix this would be having be adopted family. This could be potentially interesting, and not be totally weird and make no sense. Glaceon acting as mother and mewtwo as father. As we saw in the (regrettable) genesect movie, there can be multiple mewtwos, and they can take care of others. Then there's the breaking point story... I don't hate it, but it definitely needs some work. So the whole thing with her hunting and getting beat up and having her good stolen by this mightyana is somewhat interesting. Her eventually breaking down and fighting back seems reasonable and somewhat relatable. But then she kills her... That is my issue with this. The mightyana asks for mercy, but "Swirls" curses her  (trying to keep it PG for the kiddies) and kills her brutally. This seems out of character based on this backstory book and the Moemon book. She should have let her go, but with a deadly warning, showing her transition "to hell then back to hell again" (It's a place so... Loop Holes!) and possible future actions. Later, yes she may probably kill mercilessly, but not at this point. As for the Moemon story... It's not my thing, but it's not terrible... They act in character, and my main problems are the self insert and Balloon Boy from FNAF. Also the descriptions should be in the story, not in parenthesis. Other then that, it's okay, but not really my thing.

Others:

Grammar is huge, capitalization, word flow, conjunctions, commas, all that is very important and will help with confusion. Eevee does not have capital e's!! Just spell it "eevee" or at the start of a sentence "Eevee". Minor issue, barely any males... The only real characters that are males are Balloon Boy, Mewtwo, and her brother. The latter two not seeming to be that important so far.

Improved bio:

This is the big one!

SylvemonDigi, at this time known as "Swirls", was born an orphan. She never knew her parents, her mother assumed to be killed in childbirth and father by predators. Soon after birth, her adopted mother, glaceon, found her and took her home to her partner and father figure to the adopted Pokemon, mewtwo. She grew up with a strange, but loving family. She had a brother, froakie, a sister, Alolan vulpix, and another sister, a shiny umbreon. Though her family was strange, they all truly loved each other. Besides being shiny, Swirls was a bit more abnormal then that. When she was brought home by glaceon, she and mewtwo noticed Swirl's strange, silver eyes. Far different then any other eevee's eye. However, they paid it no mind, just happy to have saved her. Unfortunately, their happy family wouldn't stay that way for long, for soon, the humans would come. And nothing was safe.