batstar

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"i want to do whatever is best for you, sunshower. always."

fandom
warrior cats
( forest of fallen light )

open to roleplay
no

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g e n e r a l
i n f o r m a t i o n

name
batstar

past names
kit ✧ batkit [1-6 moons]
apprentice ✧ batpaw [6-12]
warrior ✧ batchaser [12-27]
deputy ✧ batchaser [27-41]

gender
he/tom

clan
driftclan

status
deceased
- suicide

age
63 moons (at death)

species
cat

sexuality
straight

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r e l a t i o n s h i p s

family
motherfinchcall
fathercedartuft
sisteradderpaw
foster daughter ✧ rainstone
foster niece ✧ howlingwolf

past mates
lynxbite
vixenfire

friends
sunshower
raintail
losttail

enemies
wolfcall
sunbreaker

deputy position
preceded by ✧ sunshower
succeeded by ✧ vixenfire, thistlecloud

leader position
preceded by ✧ sunstar
succeeded by ✧ thistlestar

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a p p e a r a n c e

sleek, thin-furred black tom with a tight and skinny frame. he has deep, dark blue eyes with sharp, thick claws and a thin tail waving behind. batstar's dead left paw gives him a slight hobble, but he's been able to overcome this with time.

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p e r s o n a l i t y

batstar is all-around known as the snarky, brutally honest leader with no tolerance for dishonesty and disloyalty. he's no fighter, but batstar is a strict tactician; he cares not if his life hangs in the balance between friend and foe, as long as he ends up victorious, it matters little. batstar isn't intimidated by anyone, even those larger and stronger than him. he's always one to stand up for himself, even if it's in the midst of a particularly messy situation.

however, batstar is very different once you find his heart. dedicated to those he loves above all, he's probably the most trustworthy cat you will ever get to meet. his charm will surely show with time and the coldness inside will ease just a little.  he can act quite flirty and loving, but this is a very rare thing to see from such a cat. batstar often makes decisions based on the well-beings of others, not basing his thought process on his own health and welfare. doing such things will, however, pull him into dark claws that close around his chest, dampening his mind with grief and loneliness. batstar will fall into these moods quite often and will lash out if provoked. his thought process will tangle like a nest of crows, pecking and eating away until he feels as if he's nothing. the only thing that can really bring him back to the light is a small, kind deed- just talking to him will do the trick. perhaps even a little gift every once in a while.

batstar isn't perfect, but he tries his best to understand his flaws and use them to his advantage. even if he can be cold and snappy, there will always be the side that is full of life and happiness, aiming to do what's best for those he considers his friends and family. as long as it's understood that he can't always be a support system, then a friendship or relationship will end in close hearts and peaceful minds. that's truly all batstar wishes for.

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b a c k g r o u n d

before birth
during a gathering, cedartuft of driftclan and finchcall of eclipseclan conversed until the leaders had finished their speeches. they were so smitten with each other that they decided to meet on the border the following night. after doing so for many moons, the two grew to have a very close relationship and became mates. finchcall came to find out that she was expecting her mate's kits. torn between loyalty to his clan or losing his family, cedartuft decided to allow his mate to move to driftclan and have their children. the ridicule from those he'd once considered friends began to gnaw at the soon to be father, crushing him into a tangle of fury and grief. he began to lash out at anyone that grew close to him; this didn't leave out his mate. finchcall grew depressed but knew she couldn't leave, especially since she'd just given birth to her kits... batkit and adderkit.

kithood [1-6 moons]
batkit was born small and weak, a frail black tom that nursed for far too long. he grew healthy again when driftclan's medicine cat looked after him, much to the relief of his parents. adderkit was a smokey brown swirled tabby she-cat with lean muscles and large paws. she never seemed to shut her mouth and easily dodged harsh words from those that looked down on the half-clan kits. determined to be more like his sister, batkit followed in her footsteps and they traveled everywhere together, becoming best friends in their damaged family.

cedartuft had grown more and more abusive, taking this newfound anger on his kits. adderkit often spoke horrible about their father, much to batkit's dismay - how could he hate his own parent? he wasn't sure what to do, but decided that he could secretly love cedartuft and lie while agreeing with adderkit.. that was the best thing to do. finchcall often looked over her kits with soft amber eyes, which eventually grew duller and duller through the passing moons. but why?

apprenticeship [6-12 moons]
as an apprentice, batpaw was given the cold and brutally honest bearmask as a mentor. adderpaw was much luckier, granted pinestorm's mentorship, who was much quieter but determined than bearmask. wanting to prove his worth, batpaw worked with the other apprentices- lynxpaw and the older sunpaw- to train and grow better with his hunting and fighting. he grew closer to lynxpaw during this time and farther from his sister. as his mentor grew increasingly abusive, batpaw had to learn to hide the claw marks under his thin fur. without the support of adderpaw, who had been distancing herself from seemingly everyone, batpaw wasn't sure how to handle himself anymore. finchcall saw the scars and held her son while he cried into her shoulder one night, grief and anger tearing her apart.

batpaw felt less heavy after talking with his mother, though noticed the tension sparking between finchcall and cedartuft. he tried to speak with adderpaw about the matter, but she shrugged him off and refused to talk about the "family drama." batpaw grew angered and demanded to know what was wrong with her. why was she so distant now, when they'd been best friends as kits? weren't siblings supposed to be close? adderpaw would often look lost, explaining that she just couldn't tell him. as the older sibling, she had to look after their family...but she wasn't sure she could anymore.

worried for his sister's decreasing mental and physical health, batpaw sought the help of his mother. however, finchcall was growing more and more distant, eyes hardly flickering with recognition for her own son. batpaw felt so lost. the only one he had anymore was lynxpaw, and she had no idea how to fix his problems. batpaw could only wait them out.

the following moons were hard for batpaw. he was finally able to confront his sister alone on the mountain outcrops, but this only seemed to strengthen her secretive nature. batpaw lashed out when adderpaw didn't tell him what was wrong with her. the siblings began to fight, ending with batpaw pinning adderpaw to the dusty ground. her eyes filled with tears and she admitted that she knew something about their parents. cedartuft had been abusing finchcall- mentally and physically- for moons. batpaw didn't believe it. how could he? the apprentice dismissed his sister's beliefs, shaking his head and walking away without turning back.

that night, adderpaw didn't return to camp. batpaw was worried but figured she'd stayed out to think about things and finally tell the truth about her problems. the night passed until batpaw woke early that morning. he checked to see if his sister was in her nest, but her bedding was cold. the sun was still rising as batpaw exited the den, slipping into the territory and running, desperately searching for adderpaw. she seemed to have disappeared.

he continued looking until he came to a clearing encircled with tall oak trees. there was his sister, laying motionlessly near the edge, neck snapped at an awkward angle. batpaw cried out and ran to her. he shook her, begging her to return and to not leave him. but she was dead. the tom buried himself in her fur and sobbed until he was found by the dawn patrol, who looked even more horrified than him.

the next few days were a haze. he was sure his parents had grieved, but all batpaw knew was that he hadn't left her side until she'd been buried deep under the earth. bearmask had been sympathetic enough to grant him a few days to rest and grieve. batpaw had ignored everyone, including his mother, father, and lynxpaw. how was he expected to cope? his sister had thrown herself out of the tree. and though her death had been ruled as an accident, batpaw wasn't stupid. he knew she'd done it on purpose. and that was what hurt him the most.

the next moon was hard to remember. all batpaw could think about was his sister, and the same could be said for his parents. finchcall hardly spoke. the two seemed to understand that adderpaw had thrown herself from the tree with intent to die, while cedartuft denied such a thing. batpaw began to wonder if his sister had been right. was cedartuft abusing their mother? the more he thought, the more sense it made. this thought sent him spiraling into a dark rage, and only grew. he tried to speak with his mother about it, but the only thing he could get out of her was a longing gaze. she eventually left the nursery and batpaw followed, asking where she was going once they were far enough out of camp. finchcall turned, staring at her son with teary eyes. she murmured that she was leaving, finding a peaceful place to die. she couldn't live without her daughter anymore in this cruel, cruel world. batpaw cried and begged his mother to return home, but she left after a soft, "i love you, my dear son." he retreated to the apprentice's' den and ignored the chaos ensuing, mostly from his father, who sent many search parties to find his missing mate. they never did locate her, though.

batpaw didn't sit vigil for his mother's missing body. he knew that she was probably dying at that moment from starvation or dehydration, and just couldn't get himself to his paws. bearmask could see his apprentice's growing depression and decided to lay off on the harsh training. even the cruelest cats were sympathetic for batpaw. he'd lost nearly everything he'd loved and known in less than a moon. how was one to cope?

life as a warrior [12-27 moons]
batpaw was eventually granted his warrior name alongside lynxpaw. he became batchaser, while his friend was named lynxbite. sunshower had been named by her adoptive father, blazingstar, a moon before batchaser and lynxbite - which in turn meant she didn't speak to them as much.

life as a young warrior was hard for batchaser. he became known as the clan's most unfriendly cat, cold and cruel in nature with a sharp tongue and dark eyes. he tried to distance himself from lynxbite, still heavily affected by his sister and mother's deaths, though she didn't allow him to cut off contact. lynxbite and batchaser became closer during the next moons; they were hardly ever seen apart. whispers reached batchaser's ears as time passed. he was outraged. how could his clanmates think he and lynxbite would become mates?! but when he took a step back and looked at it in a different way, he realized they were close. very close. and perhaps batchaser did love her... it was a very odd feeling, nonetheless. he wasn't sure he wanted to feel affection again, not after what happened to his family. but lynxbite only held love in her eyes and batchaser decided he would at least try. that's the best he could do.

the two eventually became mates, much to the surprise of no one. batchaser grew happier with the passing moons and whenever he was with lynxbite, he didn't think about adderpaw or finchcall. he hardly even thought of his father! wasn't it amazing? who knew love could be so carefree?

however, as leafbare swept through the clans so did greencough. cedartuft caught the deadly sickness and was bedridden for almost an entire moon. batchaser visited his father only once, just to tell cedartuft that he knew of what he'd done to his mother, he knew that his decision had cost his sister and finchcall their lives- now this was just karma coming to swipe him up again with no remorse. satisfied with his words, batchaser left the den and never spoke to his father again. two days later, cedartuft died. batchaser had been left alone in his broken family, but still had hope. surely he could create a legacy? a legacy he could be proud of?

as leafbare blew away in the wind, lynxbite found out she was pregnant with batchaser's kits. and he was ecstatic. the very idea of getting to father children was something that prickled his paws with anticipation. batchaser knew he could do better than his father, and even better than his poor mother. how exciting! though... lynxbite seemed less than pleased. she began to snap at batchaser, voicing direct hate toward their unborn children and her "horrible pregnancy." it was almost like she didn't want kits. that very thought sent a stake of pain through batchaser's heart. after everything he'd been through, she didn't even want a family?

so they argued. they argued for days until lynxbite could take it no more and stalked off out of camp toward the mountainous outcrops. batchaser followed and begged to know why she didn't want kits. did she not love him? lynxbite fixed her icy glare on her mate. of course she loved him. she simply didn't want to bear such a burden.

then, in a swoop and tangle of brown and white feathers, lynxbite was taken by the hawk. batchaser had little to no time for a reaction. she was already gone. he cried out and yelled for her to come back, his heart breaking, the grief overwhelming his fragmented mind. his mate was gone, just like that- and so were his unborn kits.

and so he was alone again. cats began to wonder if he'd pushed her off the cliff- after all, his entire family had died! it was very well suspicious. but sunshower rose up to the plate and denied these outrageous claims. her father saw her loyalty and determination and knew she would be a great leader some day. after their former deputy's death in a horrific accident, sunshower was named the new deputy under blazingstar. batchaser loathed her. who was she, being so happy and care free all the time? it was ridiculous! he hated it! and she never seemed to leave him alone..

blazingstar began to deteriorate in health. sunshower seemed troubled with this, but continued with her job as deputy. batchaser felt like he had a love-hate relationship with this cat. she was fire and warmth, and her eyes were like the new greenleaf, wild and free with no need for shame. but why would he ever like a cat such as sunshower? batchaser was dark, a flame that had flickered out long ago, sparking every now and then just to lap at the ones that grew close. he was the moon, and she was the sun. a friendship would never work.

on a particularly cloudy day, sunshower called a patrol consisting of her, batchaser, vixenpaw, and fallenpaw to check out the dog scents located on the edge of the territory. batchaser wasn't happy but went along, only listening because she was the future leader. after arguing with vixenpaw and fallenpaw, batchaser caught a whiff of dog when they neared the border. two crashed out and one grabbed fallenpaw in its jaws. leaping into action, sunshower pried her claws into the mutt's eyes and allowed the injured apprentice to scramble away. she was thrown around while vixenpaw leapt on the back of the other. the dog snapped its jaws around to try and hold vixenpaw but batchaser knew he couldn't let that happen. he flew forward to the dog's chest, ripping open it's sensitive skin. the canine howled in pain and swiped batchaser in it's cruel jaws, shaking him around like a limp piece of prey. batchaser was almost able to escape but his paw got caught between the dog's teeth and his nerves were crushed between its hungry lips. sunshower, vixenpaw, and fallenpaw were able to drive the two dogs away.

batchaser limped back to camp. sunshower seemed hopeful for a speedy recovery, but batchaser wasn't dull. he knew his paw was dead and it would most likely never work again. however, this incident allowed him to grow closer to sunshower, and he would often eat meals with her, vixenpaw, and fallenpaw. he began to feel light again, for the first time in so long. it was odd, just like it had been when lynxbite had shown him love. except this time, it was deeper. it had so much more passion and fire. this was a need- not a simple want.

life continued on, of course. vixenpaw was named vixenfire and fallenpaw was named fallenmist. blazingstar grew ill and eventually passed, leaving sunshower to lead driftclan. batchaser felt bad for his friend, but knew she would lead her clanmates well and peacefully. fallenmist began to drift away while the newly named sunstar and batchaser made friends with losttail. the new deputy was still in question. was there anyone fit to lead? batchaser would often observe others and wonder if they had the suitable qualities for the rank. time would only tell.

becoming deputy [27-41 moons]
sunstar named batchaser as driftclan's new deputy. still with shock, he looked around to make sure he was hearing this right before cats began cheering. vixenfire and fallenmist congratulated him, as well as losttail, who batchaser had speculated would become deputy. clearly that wasn't the case.

a few days after batchaser became deputy, vixenfire disappeared. grief threatened to tear him open again but sunstar comforted him. in fact, they seemed to find comfort in each other. they'd all been close moons before. fallenmist grew even more distant until she seemed like a stranger to batchaser and sunstar. but it didn't matter. he was closer with the leader than anyone else, and was just happy to finally have someone to lean on. she was such an amazing friend. that's all they were, right? just friends?

in meadowclan, a new leader came to power- wolfstar. the brutal, muscly, huge gray maine coon tabby directed his hatred towards the newly settled sleetclan quite directly. petrelstar, sleetclan's leader, did his best to dampen these threats with peaceful words but nothing would soothe wolfstar. batchaser immediately hated him. after a particularly bad chat with the meadowclan leader, and an even worse one with stormstar, eclipseclan's leader, batchaser realized he didn't like any of the leaders he'd met. except for sunstar, of course...

and then, when grumpyface was made deputy in meadowclan, chaos ensued. wolfstar ordered his new deputy to hurt any of his warriors that supported sleetclan. raintail was brutally injured, escaping with a missing eye, and fled to driftclan with many more meadowclan warriors. the "loyals" stayed behind, causing a sparking tension between driftclan and meadowclan. raintail became batchaser and sunstar's friend, too, and the three would often talk with losttail sometimes.

and as the next moon passed batchaser tried to understand his growing feelings for sunstar. he knew he loved her- it was quite obvious, he thought. but...was he ready for such a commitment? was he ready to open his heart and truly love again? he could only find out by talking with sunstar. so, that night, he and his best friend went on a walk along the mountains and trees, stopping to look up at the sky. batchaser looked at sunstar and admitted his feelings. she was shocked, much to batchaser's dismay. he knew what was coming. sunstar looked flustered and upset and said that they couldn't be together. pain gripped batchaser's chest. ah, an old friend returning... he should have known it would end like this. but he wanted to know why. why couldn't they be together? what was holding sunstar back? and so he asked. and the answer he received was not one he liked.

sunstar was mates with wolfstar. wolfstar, meadowclan's tyrant leader. wolfstar, the worst cat in the history of the clans. and she was carrying his kits. anger was stored within batchaser once more and he yelled and yelled at her, trying to make her understand that her relationship with another clan's leader wasn't okay, especially with wolfstar. he'd ordered raintail's death! their friend had only narrowly escaped! how was that okay?!

sunstar was so upset that she cried. batchaser couldn't comfort her. he didn't know how. but he eventually gave in and told her that it was okay. she couldn't control who she loved... and even if it wasn't him, there were kits coming, and that's all that mattered. they tried to compromise with the situation. sunstar decided that losttail could act as the kit's father. batchaser was hurt but told her to do so if she wished. and she did.

sunstar eventually bore her kit safely in driftclan. she named her howlingkit, who greatly resembled her father in figure and color. the little kit was adorable, to say the least. she and batchaser had a fond relationship. losttail was hardly even around, and batchaser learned it was because he'd learned who the father of that kit truly was. another few moons passed and losttail was crippled by a car, spilling sunstar and wolfstar's secret to stormstar before dying. sunstar never forgave losttail, but stormstar being her friend, they were able to work everything out.

howlingkit eventually became howlingpaw, then howlingwolf. grumpyface stepped down as meadowclan's deputy and the rival clan was left without this rank, seeing as no other cat was deemed fit for the job by wolfstar. howlingwolf grew to be a fine young cat and almost like a daughter to batchaser, though she called him "uncle batty." he loved it. he finally felt love again, and even if she wasn't his by blood...he still loved her as a daughter.

sunstar eventually stepped down as leader of driftclan to spend more time with her kit. she couldn't take on the stress of leading driftclan anymore. and so a new era began. the era of batstar.

leadership [41-63 moons]
batchaser received his nine lives and became batstar. he wasn't sure who to choose for deputy, but had more important things to deal with- like sunshower's deteriorating happiness. batstar had a talk with her and told her that she could leave to meadowclan to be with her mate- to have her full family. batchaser didn't want howlingwolf to grow up in a broken family like he had. and he wanted the best for sunshower... and they cried and cried. sunshower gratefully accepted, and after talking to howlingwolf, the two left. batstar watched them leave with dark eyes and a heavy heart.

wolfstar stepped down and howlingwolf rose as meadowclan's next leader. wolfcall and batstar would meet on the border occasionally and argue with each other. it was a nice pass time for the tom. howlingstar lead her clan nobly and with dedicated honor, doing her best to rewind wolfcall's crimes while supporting her family's needs. batstar could only watch from over the border and wish he could do something. but the ongoing strife between driftclan and meadowclan was gone. now, peace could finally last.

batstar met with petrelstar, sleetclan's leader, and the two agreed on an alliance and even became friends. batstar tried to lead his clan the best he could, but struggled with no friends and overwhelming loneliness. he became acquainted with swirlingocean and lionessfire, but never close enough to lean on. not like he could with sunshower..

and then, vixenfire returned. she looked much older and wiser, though still as cheeky and snarky as before. batstar wasn't angry. he wanted to know why she'd left. she had gone to look for her parents. they'd left driftclan moons ago, wandered off into the unknown without a trace. vixenfire had run to find them but was never successful in her expedition, so returned in the hopes that sunstar would accept her back. except it was batstar in charge now.

batstar explained everything that had happened with vixenfire, including the secret with wolfstar since mostly every clan cat knew by now- the two didn't exactly hide their relationship. vixenfire was sad for her friend but the two became close again. batstar named vixenfire as driftclan's deputy and his feelings grew. of course, they weren't as strong for his love toward sunshower... no one would ever be the same. but he knew he could love her; he just had to give it a chance. they became mates and their friends were happy for them.

time went on once more and things were more or less peaceful. until, one day, batstar met wolfcall on the border again. usually they entertained themselves with harmful banter, but this time, batstar truly became angry. he attacked wolfcall and the two tough mercilessly. sunshower and howlingstar found the two and tried to break up the fighting, but nothing worked.

batstar became overcome with anger and grief that he completely lost control. his paws splayed out and, before he knew it, wolfcall was bleeding out on the ground, a large wound on his throat. batstar choked and realized what he'd done and tried to help, but sunshower and howlingstar angrily told him to leave. he did.

he met them again the next day and was told that wolfcall was dead. sunshower was horrified that he could do something like kill another cat, and howlingstar was ashamed. batstar spiraled into a tangle of guilt and hurt and let a rogue kill him. he was now on his last life.

vixenfire found out about what happened and was almost scared of him. batstar asked if they would ever be able to have kits, but vixenfire said she didn't think so. batstar understood, even though he was heartbroken. but it was his own fault, right? he and vixenfire grew distant as he dove into a deep depression, ptsd keeping him awake at night. he grew so hysterical that he announced at a gathering how much he hated driftclan. everyone seemed to hate him. why wouldn't they?

the day after the gathering, batstar strayed near torrentclan's border and met cougarstar after his words. cougarstar taunted him and tried to attack him, but batstar dodged and promptly left, not interested in petty fighting anymore. not after wolfcall. he was terrified of what he could do.

and then, things got even worse. he was near the meadowclan border one day, reminiscing old memories, when he heard hisses nearby. he ran through the foliage and found himself next to sunshower, howlingstar, and sandstream. across from them was a rogue whitefang who was picking a fight. the fight was ruthless against the huge tom, and sunshower ended up leaping in front of the rogue. he swiped his claws and drew so much blood she was soaked in it.

howlingstar was able to chase whitefang away, and batstar cried out as he caught sunshower in his paws. sandstream watched beside, eyes watery. batstar apologized for everything he'd done and sunshower pushed her muzzle into his chest. she was dead.

vixenfire eventually disappeared again. batstar spent the rest of those long moons isolated from everyone he knew. he didn't speak anymore, and if he did, it was back to the rude him - the one he'd been after his family had died as an apprentice. the one he'd been after lynxbite had died. the one he was once again..

recovery [48+ moons]
after long moons of doubt, batstar was one day approached by darkpaw, driftclan's new medicine cat, and she asked if he could accompany her on the mountainside. she wanted to pick some herbs, but was wary of the rogue problem. he nodded and let himself relax, following her out and trying to be nice for once.

as they approached the rogue/loner border, he smelled blood and froze. they both darted through the bushes and saw a 2 moon old kit lying motionless on the rocky ground, blood pooling at her chest. the two brought her back to the medicine den to heal.

he didn't want to leave the kit, but decided to check the rest of the borders in case he found anything else. while sniffing around eclipseclan, he met with mulberrystar, a leader he liked but didn't really care much for. the leader went straight to the point and said that he had declared war on torrentclan because cougarstar had killed him in a fight on the border. mulberrystar asked for batstar's help in the war, and he allowed the alliance between eclipseclan and driftclan.

batstar returned back to driftclan and announced the war. they were planning on attacking torrentclan soon, and it was to be at night. some of his clanmates seemed excited, others dreading it, others annoyed. he didn't really care.

batstar found his way back to the medicine den and checked on the kit. she was awake and asked where she was. he explained it in bits and pieces, basically just saying that she was with a group of cats. he asked who her parents were and she shrugged and muttered that they'd left her there to die after a fox attack. batstar's eyes widened and he hesitantly asked if she wanted to stay here in driftclan. she quickly agreed and seemed excited.

he smiled and explained more to her, about all of the clans and how their ranks worked. he asked if she had a name and she shook her head. batstar pondered and then smiled softly, looking her over. she was a stormy gray-blue color with darker ringed splotches, kind of like a leopard's. her eyes were dark blue as well, almost black in the dark. because of her pelt, and after his old friend, he named her rainkit. she was so excited and he took her under his wing.

now, he had something to do — talk to rainkit, who didn't constantly judge him, and prepare for the war. he felt like he finally had a purpose, and was making a recovery to happiness once more. he still wasn't talking to vixenfire, but figured it was for the best.

a few nights later batstar lead his warriors and some apprentices to meet up with eclipseclan and meadowclan. they attacked torrentclan's camp and mulberrystar took one of cougarstar's lives. eclipseclan also kidnapped one of the torrentclan deputy's kits, gingerkit. torrentclan later attacked eclipseclan and stole mulberrystar's newly-born kits. a kit trade was made and neither clan won the war.

with the battles over, batstar decided he needed a new deputy after vixenfire. he appointed thistlecloud for his battle skills, strength, and maybe even charm(?). he was like batstar, just younger. rainkit became friends with twilightkit, who eventually became medicine cat apprentice under darkflutter. thymekit and rainkit became apprentices as well.

things were steady, but batstar still felt like there was a hole where his heart should be. rainpaw and her friends traveled to the rogue border and were attacked by a rogue. thymepaw was kidnapped and rainpaw was injured trying to protect him. batstar felt the weight of the world crush him and the fear for rainpaw only grew. twilightpaw assured she would be okay. still, batstar was worried and visited her several times, though she slept through most of it.

death [63 moons]
on the day before rainpaw really woke up, batstar visited her and said his goodbyes. he apologized for the future and said, if he could, he would've named her rainshower, after sunshower. batstar left and told thistlecloud he would make a good leader. next, batstar visited howlingstar and talked about the past and said he loved her like a daughter. batstar felt guilty that he'd never be able to meet her kits, but knew this was the best time to do this. he found a cliff on the edge of the mountainside and thought about his life, his choices and his love interests, of howlingstar, of rainpaw, of sunshower...

and he jumped.

batstar awoke in the midst of lightclan. his full vision had returned, and his dead paw was healed once more. his excitement grew and he thought about seeing sunshower, losttail, raintail, finchcall, adderpaw... but sunshower was no where in sight. he realized he was close to the lightclan—shadow forest border and noticed a shape moving toward him. he stopped when he saw sunshower and realized what had happened - she'd chosen to follow wolfcall into the shadow forest.

batstar spoke to her and talked about rainpaw, about howlingstar, her unborn kits, how much he'd missed her.... the two rekindled and batstar finally felt like he was where he belonged. sunshower eventually left, and when he turned around, batstar friends and family were there waiting for him. and somewhere deep inside his soul, batstar finally felt love.

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