"Beauty is a feeling, not a yardstick to measure one's worth. You are the only one of you. Always remember that."

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"Come after me and mind your steps. This is a bit slippery." Holika opened another door set in the wall of her bedroom.

Behind her was a huge cave, much like the one we came from. She turned around and crossed the threshold to the other side. I followed her and put my foot carefully on the cool rock. It was dingy ahead, with little light straying from somewhere. For a second, I debated whether to follow her. I didn't trust anyone in this realm. Anything could be a trap.

The walls were wet and slimy, with water trickling down continuously. The floor rock was covered completely by a carpet of dark green algae, which felt soft under my feet. But I had to tread carefully because it was wet too.

"Hold the walls," Holika warned. "I won't be able to catch you if you roll down."

"And I'm heavy," I chuckled to myself. "I'll roll like a log."

"Heavy is beautiful and strong. You and I could take out grown men in a fight," Holika chuckled, strutting ahead. She sure knew her way in the dark.

I looked back at the path I came from. It was black too. I was almost in the middle of nowhere with a demoness. The only consolation was that she seemed nice and Mrithun would have never brought me here or let me go alone with her if he didn't trust her.

"Are you okay?" Mrithun's voice rang in my head suddenly, making me jump and almost slip.

I looked around quickly, wondering if I was hallucinating.

"I'm just testing if the communicator is still working," he chortled. "Don't panic."

"The last time I heard, this communicator couldn't detect moods," I whispered, trying to bring some bravery into my voice.

"Those are the depths of hell, and you are just a little girl," he teased.

"I am not little," I hissed, trying to keep the relief from my voice. His being here, at least on the other side of the communicator was a consolation enough. But I would not show it to him.

He laughed generously at the other end. "Go take a bath. I should give you ladies some privacy."

His voice turned off so suddenly that I panicked.

"No!" I wailed.

"What?" Holika looked back at me, concerned.

"I just slipped," I lied. "I'm fine now."

"I knew you needed me," Mrithun replied quietly in my head, as I followed Holika with a sigh.

Our feet made no sound as we treaded on rocks with bare feet. The sound of trickling water was replaced with gushing noises as invisible underground streams flowed somewhere. A little ahead, the tunnel opened up into a bigger space, which seemed to be lighter. The noise of the water was very near here.

"Hold my hand," Holika offered me her big palm.

I dithered for a moment before putting my small, stubby hand on hers.

"This part is risky, so hold on," she warned, gripping my hand tighter.

"What is down here?" I asked.

"A natural geyser from a volcano," she replied nonchalantly.

"A volcano?" I gulped.

"Dormant for aeons. This will never erupt. The biggest forces of hell, keep it sleeping."

She pulled me closer, and I found myself walking on a narrow, rocky ledge. On the other side of the rock was a void, a deep crater where I didn't dare peek. I just kept my eyes focused ahead when we took a turn and entered another tunnel. The sound of water was deafening here.

And right before me stood a gushing stream, almost as wide as a sea, because I couldn't see the other shore or even a single rock across. The river water was sparkling. Mellow silvery threadlike ripples flowed steadily, gurgling, bubbling and dancing in their own sprightly mood.

"Welcome to my bathtub," she grinned, her teeth shining like pearls in the dark.

"This is huge," I commented, taking a step forward, still gawking at the flow.

"The currents are dangerous here, come this way," she dragged me again, upstream, where the rocks had created a diversion and the river water had made a little pool to the side, a place where the water was oddly calm.

"That's our place." Holika gestured.

She stripped down to her simple brown underwear and tossed off her clothes on a dry rock. I undressed too, finding a red lace bra and panties underneath. My face flamed knowing that Mrithun knew what exactly I was wearing underneath, all the while. How did he pick the right underwear for the right dresses? This was padded just the right amount, and the garment was so comfortable.

My reverie broke on hearing Holika humming a tune. It was the voice of an angel and the song was in some unknown ancient lyrics that seemed to soak through my skin and touch my soul.

I turned back to the water, covering myself up with my arms, definitely conscious of my not so perfect body. Tiptoeing to the edge of the pool, I put a foot in. It was warm. I took a deep breath and dived in; the spray hitting my chest and legs with a sudden splash. I had learnt to swim at a young age, but Nikhit never let me go to the beach or the swimming pool because he thought I shouldn't show off my assets and that I was too big to wear a swimsuit. He always had an issue with the way I dressed, so I gave up wearing anything that even remotely showed a bit of skin.

As I let my body sink in the feeling of the warm water, I was aware of my skin stinging at some places. My fingers lightly traced the new bruises left on my body by the guards of the underworld, handling me roughly. I shuddered as the memory of that darkness suddenly invaded my mind.

"Are you okay? The water might sting a bit because of the mineral salts," Holika informed.

"Yes," I mumbled, still lost in my thoughts. The more I let my body lose itself in the water, the more the thoughts tried to invade the peace in my mind.

"Holika, can I ask you something?" I said out of the blue. "Only if you are okay with it," I added hastily.

She looked at me questioningly; her plump lips lifting into a big smile.

"Why, sure? Nobody asks me anything," she encouraged.

"You were on the brink of death when Mrithun found you, right?" I inquired slowly.

The spark in her eyes died down suddenly. "Yes."

"And you were given a second chance at life when you asked for it?" I prodded further.

"I didn't want to live," she blurted.

"What?" my jumbled thoughts came to a standstill.

"Mrithun always spins tales of how he spared some people that wanted to survive," she sighed, "But the truth is, he is more rebellious than he looks. And he works with his own intuition and judgement rather than an order from his superiors."

"But..."

"I was burnt. More than half of my body is gone. Who would want to stay alive like this?" She pointed to herself.

"It wasn't your fault," I mumbled.

"But that doesn't change the fact that they wouldn't accept me anywhere else. My face would scare off anyone and I would have to survive knowing that I am ugly."

"No, you are not," I objected.

"Maybe not for you. But according to conventional standards of beauty, I am. Tell me you didn't get a shock on seeing me for the first time," she challenged.

I didn't want to lie to her, so I kept quiet. Yes, I would never think any less of anybody for how they look. But it is bound to give anyone a jolt to see a face burned beyond recognition.

"I can only imagine," I said finally, reaching out to touch her arm.

Her eyes glistened with emotions, with the light reflecting from the surface of the water.

"But, he insisted that I have a lot of things to live for. He literally left me here, begging for him to come back." She gave a tight-lipped smile. "I cursed him so much, but now I know, why he did it. I am happy with my life and death wasn't the right choice for me."

"So, are you an immortal now?" I asked, curiously.

"It's not like that. Death has become a choice for me now. Should I choose to embrace it, all I need to do is ask him. I bet it's the same for lots of people here," she explained.

"So, is death an option for all the immortals?" I asked again, utterly confused.

"If that was the case, I bet many wouldn't be here. Immortality isn't easy Tora," she said.

There was a long suffocating silence. I couldn't discern from her face what she was thinking. The water wasn't as soothing anymore, and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to get out of that dark place and be with Mrithun. If there was a name for the feeling of choosing death over life, that was it.

"There's a contrast, however," she mumbled, drawing my attention back to her again. "The difference is between being indestructible and being just an immortal."

"Oh, aren't the two same?" I blinked.

"No. All the inhabitants of heaven and hell are immortals, that is, they can live forever and never die of old age. That doesn't mean they cannot be destroyed. They can die like any other mortal, they can be killed by a greater force. We, the demons and yakshinis are like that. We can be killed, just like other lowly creatures in hell, like the Apsaras and Gandharvas in heaven. We're the spares."

"So, the Gods and Fates..."

"And Death. They are invincible. They can be punished by superior powers, can be abandoned, but never killed." She confirmed.

I just nodded, trying to cram so much information into my head.

"And can the immortals take their own life?" I asked slowly.

"No, they can't. They have to be destroyed by a force greater than themselves."

So the guards of hell could have killed me. But I could be punished by eternal isolation too, or if they wanted to just torture me instead of killing me, I was an immortal. Every creature there held the power to kill me, though I was immortal because of a glitch. I didn't know if that little piece of information gave me some relief.

"I know you've been born recently and so you might have a lot of questions about immortality," she said finally.

My breath caught in my throat. In my excessive emotion-filled state, I had let down my guards and asked her about immortality. It was really tough to continue pretending to be immortal when in reality I didn't even know who I was. I had never faced an identity crisis until that moment of revelation with Mani.

"Yes," I breathed.

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Author's note- Chasing Death has a new cover and I can't gush enough about it 🙈. What do you all think? Do you like it?