They say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. You get a recap of all the good and bad that you've been through. You see every choice you made, every choice you didn't make, and every choice you should have either made or not made. For one time only, you are given the chance too see just how you lived. I didn't realize that it's not just when you die...

***

"Do you think about her a lot?"

"Who?"

"You're mom."

"Almost every day."

"How long did it take for the pain to go away?"

Killian looks down at me wearing a softer then usual expression. I didn't really want a pity party, but he knew exactly what I was going through. He was the only one I could really talk to about the matter.

"Do you want an honest answer," he asks as he sits down onto the ground next to me, "Or one that will make you feel better."

"Honesty, please."

"You don't get over the pain. Ever. You learn to live with it. Even though I'm sure you really don't want to hear it, I think it will be worse for you then it was for me."

"W-why?"

"Think about how close the two of you were. For as long as I can remember, you were glued to his side and he yours. I was close with my mom, but not that close. Not to mention, you had more time with him then I had with my mother."

"So how long did it take you to learn to deal with it?"

"I was about 12 when I finally sucked it up."

"But how did you do it?"

"My father was there to help me out. Your uncle to. There were, and still are, other distractions too."

I lean into Killian, resting my head against his shoulder, "I'm going to say something. If you ever repeat it, or I hear someone else mention it, I'll destroy you. Understand?"

His whole body shakes as he chuckles at my threat, "Go ahead Mia."

"I just wanted to say thank you. Since I lost him, you've always been here. I'm pretty observant. You and your father always visit right around this time of the year, and when you do visit, you personally go out of your way to distract me and help me get through everything. It really does help. So thank you."

"Can you repeat what you just said, I didn't quite get it all..."

"Oh, be quiet." I growl as I playfully slap him on the arm.

Killian laughs again.

Something about the sound is soothing. I've been noticing it a lot the past year. Every time I hear it, I find my self enjoying it even more.

"Mia?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I respond, a yawn pushing through my lips.

"What's your favorite memory of your dad."

"Do you really want to know that?"

"Memories are precious. I don't have as many with my mom as you do with your dad. So yes."

"Well, I was eleven years old. My dad just returned home from one of his schools. He only had two weeks with me before he had to go over seas, so he wanted to make the most of it. During those weeks, I woke up one day to him asking me what I wanted to do. He had told me that the entire day was all about me. I didn't ask for much. All we did that day was eat popcorn and watch Disney moves. We stayed in our PJ's and never left the house.

It doesn't seem like much, but for me it was everything. Anytime I got with my father, was a blessing to me. A part of me back then knew everything that he did was for me, but that didn't stop me from begging him not to leave. I regret that last day with him more then ever," tears sprung to life in my eyes, "He seemed upset with me begging him not to leave, and I didn't want his last day to be a grumpy one, so I quit begging. We had dinner at our favorite restaurant, built a fort, and then fell asleep underneath it.

Then the morning came. My aunt drove us to the airport. After he picked up his ticket, he came over to me. I can remember to look of pure sadness in his eyes. He didn't want to leave me, but we both knew he had it. I wanted to beg him to stay so badly, but I didn't. I wanted his departure to be as easy as possible. Now, thinking back to that day, I wish I would have begged. I know that if I had begged him in that very moment to stay, he would have gone to his commanding officer and requested to be sent back. He would have never gone into combat. He'd still be here with me today."

Killian suddenly pulls me close. His arms wrapped tightly around me, and his chin resting on the top of my head. I dug my head into his chest, hiding my pain and tears from the dark world around us. "Do not blame yourself for his death Mia. It's not your fault. It never has been and it never will be..."

***

He stripped his shirt off, slow and calculated, every muscle on his tanned and toned body flexing to the movement. I watch him from my tanning chair, my treacherous gaze concealed by my dark sunglasses and the book in my hands.

There was no denying how good looking he was, and it wasn't just his body. By some form of dumb luck, he'd gotten the best of his fathers genes. A nice, smooth squared jaw line with slightly rounded points. His cheek bones were raised just enough. His nose was the perfect shape, no other way to explain it. His dark brown hair looked soft and lucious. It was currently wind blown and slightly tussled from him running his hands through it. A part of me wanted to do it myself, but I kept my urges under control. I wouldn't dare do something like that with his ego.

If it wasn't for my glasses, I wouldn't even dare to look at him. The moment he would notice me looking, his ego would grow twice its normal size, and I wouldn't hear the end of it. He knew how good looking he was, and if he was given the right ammunition, he'd take every opportunity to gloat about it.

"Are you really going to sit there and read all day?" Without taking my eyes off of him, I lower my book.

Killian is standing at the edge of the pool, his hands resting on his firm hips.

"What's wrong with a little reading?"

"Umm...it's summer. That means that it's time for fun and sun. Read when you're back in school."

"Reading can be quite fun Killibear," I use the nickname he hated most to help get my point across, "Not everyone likes to spend their whole summer almost completely naked in the water."

"It's also our vacation."

"I know, and when I go on vacation, I like to relax. Reading is relaxing to me. Hence, why I have a book in my hand."

"Well, I think it's lame." Killian walked over to my chair and ripped the book from my hands before I could react, "Read later when the sun isn't shining. Get in the water."

"No."

"Yes."

"Don't you have some beach bimbo to flirt with?" I tried to get my book back but failed as he lifted it above my head.

"I did that yesterday. Now it's time for you to get my attention. Let's have some fun Mia."

"Where's my uncle?"

"What does he have to do with anything?"

"I'm hoping he'll tell you to-"

He tossed the book into a bush and leaned in close to me, "Either get in yourself, or I will throw you in."

"You can't be serious-"  he picked me up, his thick, solid, arms wrapped firmly around my torso, holding me about the ground, "Killian, wait!" I beg as he moves me towards the water, "Don't you dare do this-" I'm in the air, nothing but clear pool water below me.

A small scream leaves my lips as my body descends, only to be cut off as I crash below the surface of the water. When I surface, Killian is laughing from the edge of the pool. I scowl at him, growling, "What the hell!?"

"Oh come on Mia! No need to be so angry."  Killian finally slid into the pool. He took his time, his eyes never leaving mine, "Don't tell me you have a problem being, wet?" I roll my own as dramatically as I can, and begin looking for my sunglasses.

I spot them a few feet away at the bottom of the pool. I take a deep breath, dive under, grab them, and then resurface. I slid them back onto my face as I snap at him, "I was relaxed, and now I am soaking wet! Do you know how long it's going to take me to dry off, especially with no towel?"

"Well...it's like ninety-two degree's out right now, so I feel pretty confident that the sun will dry you to. Also, you're in a bikini. What did you expect?"

"For you to leave me alone!" 'And for you to do your own thing and let me admire from afar'.

"No fun in that...."

"Don't you have some rich friends to go bother?"

"I do," he smirks as he swims closer, "But you're much more fun."

"I highly doubt that." I scoff.

"Their reactions aren't the same as yours."

"You mean they actually like to be tossed into the water when they were relaxing before hand?" I take a few steps back.

"Exactly! Though, they tend to just in. I don't have to go out of my way to throw them in."

My back hits the wall. Heat rushes to my cheeks as he closes in on me. There's barely any space between us. He's so close that I can feel the heat radiating off of his body.

"W-what are you doing Killian?" He looks down at me. A heated look in his eyes.

"To be honest," he leans in closer, his arms on either side of me, "I'm enjoying the-"

"Killian!" His words are cut sort.

He makes a 'tsking' sound as he turns around and faces his father.

Lucian is standing exactly where Killian had been. He's in kahkais and a red palm tree shirt. His eyes are hidden behind a pair of black shades, but it's easy to see what he's thinking. His face says it all.

I watch Killian as he swims over and gets out of the pool. His father whispers a few words into his ear and then Killian storms off, his muscular body tense. As he moves inside the condo, my uncle comes outside. He's wearing the same thing as Lucian, except his shirt is blue with parrots on it.

My uncle smiles at me, "So you decided to get in after all?"

"Not by choice," I grumble, "Can you go get me a towel?"

"I'll think about it."

***

The double doors open. A doctor and two nurses walk through. Lucian and my uncle jump to their feet and meet them half way. I want to join them, but my legs won't move. I won't move.

I don't want to hear what they have to say.

I don't want to loose Killian.

Carden was my fault.

My father was my fault.

Everyone around me who I love always dies, and it's always my fault.

If Andrew had succeeded in killing Killian, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself. I'd never be able to look Lucian in the eyes again. I probably wouldn't even be able to look my own uncle in the eyes.

I drop my gaze to the ground, fresh tears falling silently down my cheeks, If you're up there dad, please don't let them take him, I pray, I need him. He's the only one who can help me get through your day. I love him. I need him. I-I can't loose him too...

***

I finally updated!! Yey!! And I've already started the next chapter!

Do you think Killian is going to make it? Or did Andrew succeed in hurting Mia?

What do you think Lucian said to Killian to make him so tense?

For the first memory, what do you think is so important about it?

FYI: The first memory Mia was about 15 and Killian was 17. In the second memory Mia was 17 and Killian 19.

Enjoy the chapter my precious Millians!!