When your love is rejected by the person that you love the most... When you are betrayed by someone who you were close to....

You'd start blaming yourself. You'd hide yourself... and close your heart.

I could feel that Seven was going through something that made it hard to get over.

But if he continues to push people who love him away...

I don't know how long I could take it.

Saying that Seven was everything I had ever wanted wouldn't be a lie.

He really was.

And he is, present tense.

Taking part in the conversations in the chatroom felt heartbreaking today, and I had a feeling that Zen and Yoosung noticed.

But maybe, that was because they had nothing else to do rather than butt into other's business like Jumin had said some time back.

When I told Yoosung that he had made a diary log for me so that I could write down what I was feeling, he had told me that he thought Seven really did have feelings for me.

"That's so romantic! He made an app just for you!" Yoosung had sung in his happy voice in a call a while ago.

But of course, I couldn't tell him what Seven had said to me right before he installed the app for me.

"If you want to say things like you love me and all those other fantasies, you can write this here instead of telling them to me."

Jumin had planned on holding another party in the middle of next year, and everyone was super hyped about it.

Sometimes, I would wish that I fell in love with Zen, or even Jumin instead.

Would my heart still ache if I did that?

I could remember him sitting in one corner of this room on day 8, glancing to where I am every five seconds.

Zen had asked him to grow a pair and admit his feelings already.

I don't think Zen knows what he really feels.

Heck, even I don't know what he feels, deep down.

He would put on his earphones and ask me not to bother him... And hours later when I stubbornly give him a call, he'd ask me why I would call when I could just say whatever I wanted to directly.

Seven, you idiot.

My phone gives a beep, and I see that it is a notification that a new chatroom has opened. When I open the app, I see that Jumin and Zen were the only ones present.

Deciding that they were probably fighting about cats, I put my phone down.

What really was the reason of me being there if Seven wasn't around, anyway?

Even though he asked me to stick with the RFA.... Even if he thanked me for being there...

I drift off to sleep thinking about what he had told me on day five.

'There's no way I have lovey-dovey feelings for someone. Lol.'

---

a/n; pls love me, God Seven ;w;