[ log 7/13 ] • day 18, 19.22pm

Màu nền
Font chữ
Font size
Chiều cao dòng

So close, yet so far.

I could extend my hand out and he would be within my reach.

But that's the thing.

Seven was within my reach.... But if I grabbed him, he can easily take a step forward... and I won't have a hold of him anymore.

We almost became the person without whom we could never, ever live in peace.

We almost showed everyone that love transcends everything else.

How it's so painful...and yet... We almost knew what love was.

But of course... Almost is never enough.

I was up for a surprise.

When I stepped out today, after swallowing up my misery, I see two sticky notes stuck to Seven's room door.

One is in blue ink and reads "I'm sorry. If I'm not home when you come out, I'm visiting Saeran. Don't go home if I'm not here, ok?"

The other is in green ink, reading "Please eat this... You haven't had anything since breakfast yesterday...", and there is an arrow pointing downwards. I look down to see two sandwiches wrapped in plastic-- looks like he used some from the roll I bought yesterday.

When I step out to the living room, Seven is not home. Remembering the note, I assume that he had gone to visit his brother again.

I do not feel like cooking, but having the intuition that he might come soon makes me glance at the clock- half past noon- and I decide to make lunch.

I am barely done dicing vegetables when Seven returns. I guess he heard the noise of stir-frying because he makes his way to the kitchen and leans against the doorpost.

And when he sees me, he takes his headphones off and stares at what I am doing.

The more I see him, the more I remember the things he had said to me over the course of the past two weeks.

He could deny it as much as he wanted to but in time, his feelings would show in the most minor things he'd do.

That never stopped him from denying it, though.

And that was the painful part.

We were so close to being in love.

"Good afternoon," I say, tossing the noodles into the pan.

"Yeah..." His voice trails off and he sits behind the counter, watching me cook.

Being around Seven always kept me on my toes, but him watching me cook made it a thousand times worse. I almost burn my fingers in the process, before I am able to plate a serving for him.

"Eat it while it's hot." I advise, putting the pan back on the stove. Seven's gaze is set on the noodles while I pour some juice for him.

Not wanting a repentance of what happened yesterday, I put my apron away and get ready to retire to the safety of my room- well, it is Seven's room, and it feels safe, so I don't really mind- right away.

Oh Seven, you save everyone...

But who's going to save you?

Because sooner or later, we'd wonder why we gave up on each other...

"Come eat with me." He grabs my wrist when I walk past him. With a single force, he pulls me beside him.

"Please... Eat with me... And hear me out."

It's sick, this weakness I have for him.

Sick, I tell you.

Seven eats a forkful of noodles and praises my cooking once again. And even though I know he is saying that only because that was the most decent reaction, I give him a nod to know I acknowledge his polite gesture.

"It's not working with Saeran..." He begins, his expression turning sour.

"And I keep messing up..."

His voice is unbearably sad, and I can barely keep a straight face as I sit in front of him, on the other side of the counter.

"I'm screwing up... At the agency, with the RFA, with Saeran... With you..."

Drinking a sip of mango juice does not relieve me from the churning in my stomach.

"I know how wrong what I said to you was... I really should not be involving you in my life, especially now that things are clean and settled."

"What do you want, Seven? Just listen to what you want for once, instead of what you have to."

For the first time today, he looks up from the plate and locks his hard gaze on mine.

I shouldn't be terrified by the eyes of the person I love, should I?

Reality is such a weird thing.

"Do you really feel that I don't have any feelings?" He wants to know.

Seven...

"Of course I have feelings. I love my brother. I cherish everyone in the RFA... And... I have feelings for you, too... I just..."

And even though he had hinted things like that before, him saying it makes me feel a little relieved.

"Are you happy that I joined the RFA?"

"I am blessed that you did... You have no idea how thankful I am. Not only did you help host a successful party, but you also helped me save Saeran... I would never have gotten the will if I didn't meet you."

Seven's fingers tremble a little as he scoops another forkful of noodles.

I should be happy that he was saying these things... But I knew that he was saying them only because he was feeling vulnerable right then.

"I hope you stay in the RFA and continue this... We're all so thankful so, please... Stay."

"But Seven... What about us? What about you and me?"

Very carefully, Seven places his fork down and lifts his gaze to meet mine...

And I see that his eyes are now teary and helpless.

"What am I going to do?" He chokes. "This is so hard for me, doing the opposite of what I want to... I want to love you, I want my brother back, I want my way out of the Agency... I can't take this anymore..."

And this time, it is my hands that are trembling as I stand up, walk up to him, and embrace him; his head leaning against my stomach.

"Please... Save me..." He whispers.

How can I save you when I can't even stop crying?

"Stay... Stay with us... With me." His voice is muffled against me, and I can barely stand with the overwhelming emotions taking over me.

"And please... Save me..." His voice is so hoarse, that I can barely make out the words anymore. His arms wrap around my waist, and I run a hand through his hair, frantically wondering what to say to make him feel better.

In the end, I was as hopeless as he felt.

"I can't tolerate it here anymore. I left Saeran, now I don't deserve him back... I would hate it if I left you and end up not deserving you again... I want to go far, far away from here..." He lifts his face up, and I notice that my shirt has gotten damp from where Seven had his face pressed.

"Will you come with me?"

---

a/n: OH FEK WHAT SHOULD THE READER SAY AAAAAH //SCREAM//

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen2U.Pro