Before attempting to get some much-needed sleep, Harry decided what he was going to write back to Tau. He decided to respond as if nothing had changed, and to be fair... nothing may have changed at all– 'Yeah right!' His mind supplemented. 'You'd be a bloody fool not to accept how likely it is that Tau and Draco are one and the same, and you know it!'

Shaking his head, Harry wrote his reply.

Message to Tau:

Interesting history lesson I must say, but I can confirm that everyone kept their clothes on here, and unfortunately, there was no naked moonlight venerating.

I assure you Tau; I did not touch any wine tonight nor indulge in any 'puddings' I did however have a rather eventful day. I also attended a Halloween party likewise – the usual: decorations, food and music – not quite the dusty corner at a friends' house you were thinking of I'm afraid – I do have some social skills you know. All I can say is that I had something to do this morning that brought back a few unhappy memories, and this evening became rather unexpected to say the least, but all is well here.

Tell me, how was your Halloween party Tau?

Your Chéri, Padfoot.

x

Message end-

He put the parchment away, and spent the next couple of hours tossing and turning in bed before sleep finally came.

---OOO---

Monday, November 1st 2010

Harry returned to bed with a mug of hot coffee that morning. He planned to lay in for just a while longer, or at least, enjoy his quiet morning until he had finished his coffee. He had a lot on his mind though; he was thinking about Silas, about Camellia, and about Draco vs Tau.

The mug thudded gently as Harry suddenly placed it onto the bedside table, and he took out the magical parchment and quill from the draw. He was determined to find out if his new revelation regarding Tau and Draco proved to be valid.

Tau had replied.

Message from Tau:

Morning mon Chéri,

You inspire such risqué images of yourself Padfoot, but I'm sure such exposed moon basking could become quite a pain in the arse. You really shouldn't be so modest. Heightened magical awareness isn't the only the thing that has the prospect to grow you know.

Now that we have established that you are a rather demure and humbled man, I won't disclose the details of my morning trek with you.

The Halloween party didn't quite go according to plan I'm afraid. I made an error with the chocolate and suffice to say, the night ended rather abruptly.

In order to appreciate one's happiness, one must experience bad memories.
Remember Tau – everything we feel, say or do, is an expression of the mind.

Votre admirateur, Tau x

Message end-

Harry's heart was thudding precariously in his chest, his feelings clashing between embarrassment, humour, disbelief, and shock.

For one thing, he was even more certain that Tau was in fact, Draco. The 'error' Tau claimed to have made with the chocolate, sounded like he had brought the wrong kind, made an error with the baking, or something to that degree, but Harry was almost certain that the so called 'error' had been in consuming to much.

Harry wanted to laugh – the cheeky bastard was practically lying by omission, and he was cleverly leading him to make false assumptions to protect his own dignity, but the realisation of who Tau was likely to be... well, it was overwhelmingly confusing and ringing in his mind like warning sirens.

I don't know if I could ever grow to –– love, Draco Malfoy.
How would this change my feelings regarding Tau though?

It was a bloody mess! He needed time to come to terms with this revelation before he could answer his own questions. He also needed a little more proof that Draco was the one writing to him – not his beautiful illusion of Tau, before he fully gave into this new fact and let his illusion crumble completely.

He gulped down the last of his coffee, staring disappointedly down at his empty cup. "Kreacher!" He called.

"Good morning Master Potter Sir..." The old house elf bowed as he appeared with a 'pop'. "How may Kreacher be a serving you this morning?"

"Coffee please Kreacher – strong coffee. Could you also bring me some toast? I don't think I will be attending breakfast this morning." He requested, wondering if he could even stomach toast right now.

"Of course, Master Potter." Kreacher bowed and vanished, leaving Harry to re-read his message from Tau – from Draco?

Despite his shock at everything he'd learnt, he blushed again when reading the obvious innuendo of anal intercourse outside in nature, and the accusation that he was 'demure and humble' because he preferred to keep his clothes on when outside. He also didn't want to think about Tau's – possibly Draco's - 'morning trek', especially not when naked moonlight basking was their last topic of conversation – well, that and absorbing magic from nature while denude of all apparel.

Harry shook his head, trying to rid himself of the salacious images his mind was now conjuring – of Draco naked and luring him into the woods for carnal activities. He groaned and shifted on the bed – he would need a cold shower at this rate. Damn Draco for having such an attractive figure!

Harry forced his eyes to focus on the last part of the message – the part where Draco... where Tau, gives his wisdom. Tau was obviously offering his sympathy to his mention of bad memories - in the only way Tau knew how. Neither of them were great when it came to offering sympathy, and Harry was grateful that Tau had even mentioned it. He was right though, the memories of his parents' death had taught him to value the people who were alive; in order to appreciate the good, he had to experience the bad.

His new coffee, along with the buttered toast - and jam should he want some, appeared next to him on his bedside table. He sipped at the hot, strong liquid and started his reply.

Message to Tau:

I would rather not think of those risqué images, thank you very much Tau. My aversions to displays of nudity have nothing to do with modesty, I just prefer to conform to social standards.

Error Tau?

Knowing you, you gave into temptation and consumed too much of that chocolatey goodness you love so much. Should I fear your not-eating chocolate streak?

Padfoot x

Message end-

It was a short reply, but Harry wondered if was too obvious. No! He decided, Tau had admitted his weakness for chocolate many times, so that was something he would normally reply... right?

Biting his lip, he made up his mind. He drew the Mannaz rune and watched his words vanish as they sent themselves to Tau... possibly to Draco.

What would he do if it was Draco? Would it really be so bad?

He pondered his own questions as he took a bite out of his toast – deciding to forgo the jam. He washed each bit down with a sip of coffee, remembering the flurry of exchange words between him and Tau, and the way he had wanted to kiss Draco after their fire-whisky evening together.

Yes, Draco was gorgeous in his aristocratic, pompous, pure-blooded way ... but he was, gorgeous that is. The sexual attraction was there, but he had so much history with the blond. The question was – would that history impede on any relationship that might start between them?

He liked Draco – he really did, but the man was closed off and mercurial at best. Maybe that's way he never saw Tau in Draco before now – if indeed he was correct in that assumption. Could Draco be expressing his true personality through Tau – the safety of the parchment providing a comfort net and making it possible for Draco to be himself, or was Tau Draco's alter personality – a personality that Draco has created to project the person he wishes he was, or something to that degree?

Harry almost jumped when words appeared on the parchment before him, nearly making him splatter up his coffee. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't expected Tau to reply so soon.

Message from Tau:

In order to enjoy the more pleasant activities of life, one must bare all.

Your aversions to nudity are rather endearing Padfoot, I must say. You claim that your modesty is not in question, and yet you shy away from such conversation. One may think you naive and innocent – mon chéri particulier.

Okay I'll admit it. I ate too much chocolate.
Are you happy now Padfoot? Humiliating me as punishment for disclosing my most secret desires.
You are an evil man!

Message end-

So, Tau did eat too much chocolate – just like Draco did!

He wasn't satisfied though; he wanted more proof before he had to let go of his illusion of Tau. He'd said it before, but Tau was intoxicating and charismatic and wonderful, and he didn't want to give that up. It felt like he was suddenly grieving for a man he'd never met, that reality was now knocking and he had no choice but to let Tau go.

But... did he really have too? If Tau was Draco, then Draco was very real! If Tau was Draco's true self, then he just had to accept everything that was Draco – the history between them, Draco's past, Draco's walls and insecurities, and... Oh Merlin! He had so much to figure out.

Harry ran his hands through his thick black hair, rubbed his eyes and sighed loudly.

There were two things he wanted to know above all else; Was Tau, without a shadow of a doubt, Draco Malfoy? And, what was Draco's true personality?

---OOO---

Harry knocked on the door to Draco's personal rooms, shifted on his feet nervously and tried to control his nerves as he rocked on the balls of his feet.

"Potter?" Draco's voice suddenly caught his attention and he froze. He hadn't even realised that Draco had opened the door.

"I erm... I just..." Harry berated himself, taking a deep breath and relaxed – determined not to make a complete fool of himself. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay after yesterday." Harry smiled up at Draco, more aware of the man's features then he was before.

His guilt at finding Draco attractive was dissipating the more evidence came to light that he was in fact, Tau. At least he wouldn't have to choose between them if he did develop feelings for Draco, and standing here before the man once again, he was reminded of the fact that it was actually a possibility. His feelings for Draco had always sat precariously on an edge – rocking between friendship, enemies, and something else entirely.

Draco opened his door a bit more, frowning slightly down at him. "You're concern about my health Potter –– Harry?" He sounded surprised almost, like Harry checking to make sure he was alright was unbelievable.

"Mmm" Harry nodded. "I need to go and speak with Minerva this morning, but I wondered if you fancied getting a drink in the Three Broomsticks after lunch?"

If Harry's nervousness was noticeable, Draco didn't comment on it. Harry's heart was trying to come out of his throat, and his hands were slightly sweaty.

"Why not. I need to make a stop at Ceridwen's Cauldrons anyway." Draco agreed. "Miss Briana Payne has exploded more cauldron's already then Longbottom did during his entire school, and Mrs Allaway promised to order in some potion ingredients for me." Draco explained, and Harry wondered if he was using his need to visit Hogsmeade to avoid the truth – that yes, he would very much enjoy having a drink in Harry's company.

It was something Tau would do. Tau had a fear of rejection, of making a fool of himself, something that Harry was going to find out if Draco mirrored.

"I didn't know that Ceridwen's sold potion ingredients?" Harry asked.

"They don't normally, no." Draco replied. "However, Mrs Allaway will order in what you require should you ask. She has been helping to supply Hogwarts with ingredients for years, even has a tab open with the school for such ingredients, cauldrons, and other potion making utensils. Most ingredients come from the green houses anyway, but there are some we don't grow or that end up low in stock."

"Huh! I guess I never thought about it. So, you only agreed to get a drink with me because you had to visit Ceridwen's?" Harry asked, a sense of feigned disappointment on his features.

Draco frowned. He seemed to be taken-back by that question. After a moment he said, "Not at all Potter, the offer of a free drink was simply too good to pass up."

Harry gaped. "I never-"

"You invited me to get a drink, it is only customary for the one that makes the offer to pay the bill." Draco smirked. "It is too late to revoke your offer now Potter, so I will see you at lunch." With that, Draco nodded and closed his door.

Harry scoffed. Trust Draco! But Harry had his answer; Draco wanted to get a drink with him – or he wouldn't have claimed that Harry's offer couldn't be withdrawn.

Yes, Draco did mirror that trait with Tau. His illusion was shattering into a million pieces, but if Tau really was Draco, and if there was a chance... he had to try.

---OOO---

"Come again soon Mr Malfoy, it's always a pleasure to see you dear." Mrs Allaway waved as they left Ceridwen's Cauldrons, the cauldrons and ingredients shrunk down into one small paper bag.

Harry was rather surprised at the way Draco had been received by Mrs Allaway. The greying older lady smiled at him, pottering about quickly to make sure he had everything he needed, and she even patted his shoulder before they'd left. It was nice to know that Draco had friendly acquaintances.

"She seemed nice." Said Harry, as they made their way to the Three Broomsticks.

"Yes. She is polite to all her customers, how else would she run a profitable business."

Harry didn't miss the - 'she wouldn't be so friendly to me otherwise' that was left unsaid. Harry felt sorry for Draco - that he still held such insecurities, but he knew it would be ill received if he expressed it. Harry himself, used to be guilty of seeing only one side to Draco - the side he wanted to see or expected to see, but not anymore. In fact, he hadn't been so blind since their first coffee together.

"I'm sure you have some likeable qualities Draco, or else, I must be mad to enjoy your company." Said Harry, bravely daring to step into what could be dangerous ground with Draco. Harry knew the blond wouldn't accept pity, but he had no idea how he would react to his backhanded compliment.

Draco froze, his steps halted, and he turned to gauge Harry's words. He was looking at Harry curiously before his mask returned and he said, "I always said you were mad Potter –– Harry." Then Draco continued to walk.

Harry smiled, relieved that Draco hadn't shouted at him, but where was Draco's sense of self-admiration or sarcastic retorts? He'd agreed with Harry that he had likable qualities – or else he would have denied his comment, but was it about Draco's opportunity to playfully insult him, or was it insecurity that prevented the blond from being arrogant and confident about his self-worth. Harry would have expected Draco to pick apart his 'some' and insist he had more them some likable qualities.

Harry's thoughts were interrupted however, when Draco's steps halted in the doorway of the Three Broomstick pub, just as they were entering – Draco's hand was still on the open door and Harry almost walked into the back of him.

"What's wrong?" Asked Harry, frowning at the abnormal pale complexion Draco was suddenly sporting. He looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"I don't think this is such a good idea." Said Draco, and he quickly slid past Harry to leave. Harry however grabbed Draco's arm no more than three steps away from the pub.

"At least tell me why. Maybe we can go someplace else?" Harry's mind was working overtime to try and figure out what had spooked Draco, but nothing was coming to mind – or at least, nothing was coming to mind quickly enough.

"I'm no longer in the mood Potter!" Draco snapped, snatching his arm back and striding hastily away towards Hogwarts.

"Draco!" Harry shouted. He was about to follow the blood when he was accosted by a bloody news reporter.

"Mr Potter! What brings you to Hogsmeade today? Can you tell me about your current association to ex Death Eater Draco Malfoy?" The lanky brown-hair reporter looked at him expectedly.

"Move aside please. I am in a hurry." Harry tried, but the damn reported blocked his escape.

"Does this have anything thing to do with the Death Eater in question?" The man insisted.

Harry knew that the next big story was a reporter's means to put food on their table, and to provide for their family - it was a race to be the first in gaining such news worth information or risk losing their job, but Harry refused to allow this man to use Draco's past as wages.

"Listen to me very carefully!" Harry glared at the reporter, using a voice he saved for the most trying of students, but he let his anger show clearly on his face this time. "You will move out of my way or I will not refrain from making you." He now had his wand pointed at the reporter, and was glad to see the man swallow in uncertainty. "Move! Or I will make sure you never write news again."

If this reporter knew anything about him, it should be the knowledge that he'd managed to get three reporters fired – one of them being Miss Rita Skeeter herself. It made big news when Rita lost her credibility, and if this man was at least half decent at his job then he would know this.

The reported finally stepped aside looking defeated, and Harry wasted no time running after Draco.

Harry felt bad for threatening the reporter, but he should be aware of the outstanding agreement Harry has with news reporting agencies; Harry will only talk to them if they made an appointment, and he refused to answer questions when accosted in the street. In fact, the agreement states that they would lose the right to print anything about him should one of their employees forcefully question him in the streets for example, and if that right was revoked and they still ran a story about him, they would be sued.

Harry didn't have time to think about that reporter anymore, he'd finally caught up to the blond.

"Draco?" He breathlessly asked, matching Draco's strides as he walked beside him again.

"Piss off Potter!" Draco spat. "Wouldn't want to be associated with a Death Eater now would you, I might taint your golden boy reputation."

"Draco stop it! You're not a Death Eater, and I said nothing to that bloody reporter back there." Harry snapped.

"You don't need to say anything Potter!" Draco continued to rage. "By association with you my name will be in tomorrow's fucking paper. It will be filled with accusations and now everyone will know that Death Eater Draco fucking Malfoy in back in UK."

"No, they won't!" Harry shouted. "If that's what you're so worried about, then let me tell you this – I have a contract with every bloody new reporting agency and the UK, they can't publish anything about me unless I have agreed to an interview. And you're not a Death Eater!"

Draco stopped walking to scowl at Harry, he seemed to be mulling over what he'd just said, but then Draco growled and stropped off again. Harry sighed and followed him.

He was use to Ron's temper – so he could deal with anger, but Draco's attitude changed as they were about to enter the Three Broomsticks. Draco was bothered by something, and instead of admitting it, he was getting defensive and frustrated and taking it out on him.

"I know this isn't about that fucking reporter." Harry continued. "Something at the Three Broomsticks started this. Whilst I'd like to know what that is, I'd rather you snapped out of it and joined me for a whisky or something! You can tell me or not what has you in such a foul mood, but I won't be scared off so easily."

Draco turned then, shoving Harry's chest and shouting, "You think you know everything Potter? Think you have it all figured out." Draco ripped up his sleeve to reveal the fading Dark Mark still tainting his perfect skin. "You say I'm not a Death Eater, but this reminds me every fucking day that I am! Are you blind, or will you still insist that you know better!"

Harry could hear the pain in Draco's voice - the hope that Harry right but the inability to believe him. It made Harry even more determined to make Draco see what Harry now could.

"You were forced to take that mark Draco! Tom placed it on people for two reasons; as a sign of their sick and twisted loyalty to him, or too remind them - through fear, that they belong to him. If I suddenly marked you, forced you through fear and threats to set fire to the school, it doesn't make you an arsonist! You never wanted this, and it's your choices that make you a Death Eater or not, not some fucked up tattoo. Don't you understand that?"

Shockingly, Draco looked like he was struggling to not burst out into painful sobs. Harry saw him wobble, frozen in place in fear of crumbling before his ex-rival, and then he muttered through clenched teeth, "I made bad choices."

"And you're not the only good person to do so." Harry sighed, hoping that Draco finally understood. "Draco, we've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on in the end. You chose not to commit murder, you chose to protect your family – your mother, you chose to stay brave in the darkest of places, and you chose give me time to flee when you didn't disclose my identity. Your situation was impossible, the choices you made were for good reasons, and you were a teenager!"

"That's no excuse!" Draco shouted, his eyes polling with unshed tears. "I should have- I should have-"

Draco didn't finish his sentence; he was hightailing it through the Hogwarts gates and away from him. Harry knew that feeling - of not wanting anyone to see you breaking down, for being seen as weak. He knew the feeling of denying the truth because it hurt – just like Harry denied the fact he'd been abused by his Aunt and Uncle. He didn't want to humiliate Draco, but he wanted to man to know that he wouldn't judge him – not for this, and not for being forced to take the Dark Mark.

Harry caught up to Draco once again – and before the man even had a chance to enter the castle, Harry had used wandless magic on the doors so that Draco couldn't open them. Draco spun around when they wouldn't open, and the rage was so obvious in his tear stain face as he glared murderously at Harry.

"What the fuck do you want Potter? Come to take the piss, have you?" Draco screamed, suddenly brandishing his wand and firing the knockback jinx at him.

Harry wandlessly used the shield charm on instinct, and that only seemed to add to Draco's anger. Draco pounded Harry with jinxes, hexes, or spells, and each time Harry skillfully deflected or shielded against it with his wand, all the while moving closer to Draco until he was standing in front of the broken man.

Harry's hand lay gently over Draco's wand, slowly pushing it down until Draco finally slouched and started sobbing.

Harry pulled Draco to his chest, allowing himself to be used as support so the man didn't fall to the ground in a sobbing mess. He knew that this was point of shame for Draco - to allow himself to be seen this way, but he also knew that it was necessary.

Harry wondered if Draco had ever been able to bare himself so openly to another before – or to allow himself to let go so emotionally, but he was glad that Draco was finally releasing some of that pent-up emotion. The masks Draco hid behind were preventing him from letting go of the past, and they were preventing him from forming relationship with other people – be that platonic or otherwise.

"Come with me." Harry gently ordered when the sobbing continued. "You don't want to be seen like this; I know I wouldn't."

Draco hesitated before nodding - he looked so beaten, so exhausted, and Harry knew that this moment of total surrender wouldn't last, but It would only take one student or teacher to exit the school in search of fresh air, and they would be spotted – this important moment of healing for Draco would then be over. In fact, it was a miracle they hadn't already been seen.

Harry wanted to help Draco before he had a chance to snap on any more masks, and before Draco's pain ebbed enough to bring him back to his senses.

Draco just followed Harry with tears streaming down his face, broken sobs rocking his chest, and the pain of over ten years' suppressed emotions and every ounce of guilt he carried drowning him. Draco had giving up right now, and was at Harry's mercy. They walked to just beyond Hogwarts gates, and then Harry pulled Draco to his chest and disapparated them both away.