>Driving home for christmas by Chris Rea<

They drove in silence for a while, listening to the songs and the weather and traffic announcements on the radio as they slowly made their way onto the highway. Everyone was lost in their thoughts, hoping that they would make it home by the evening before Christmas, while seeing the state of the roads still covered in snow and how even plow trucks were struggling to get the roads clear completely, worried them.

"What are you all planning for Christmas?" Sam finally broke the silence that was starting to make him nervous. If his passengers were all asleep it would be different, but he could see that they were all worried and thoughtful and wanted to ease some of their worries by distracting them. His own too, because he had seen Penny in the rearview mirror, staring out of the window, lost in thought and not really displaying the good mood that she usually showed with so much ease.

"Well, since you always volunteer to do the Christmas shift, I can go with my sister to visit our parents in Cardiff," Ellie interjected teasingly and he rolled his eyes in annoyance, but smiled as well.

"I'm in Newtown with my parents too, probably sleeping in my old childhood bedroom because my Dad makes the best mulled wine in the world and my mother will be complaining about why I haven't brought home a woman yet," Ben said with a grin, as he slid a little deeper into his seat and rested his knees against the front console.

"Comfort yourself, Ben. It's the same with men with us by our parents!" Ellie said with a laugh and patted him encouragingly on the shoulder. "Parents are all the same, right? How about you, Sam? Do your parents complain about that too?"

"Isn't it the same everywhere?" he simply replied with a smile and took another look at Penny in the rearview mirror, who was still looking out the window as if she would rather be anywhere else than here. "What about you Penny? " he then asked her to somehow wake her up from her thoughts.

"Like every year, I'm going to see my parents after my shift," she simply answered and continued to look out the window. Everyone glanced at each other. Everyone had noticed that she had left out the question about parents' complaints.

"So? Are your parents going to complain about you being alone too?" Ellie asked, and it at least made Penny look at her hands, which were nervously playing with each other in her lap.

"Uhm...probably not this year," she mumbled embarrassedly.

"Why? Is there something you want to tell us?" Ellie couldn't stop herself from teasing her with wiggling eyebrows and a cheeky grin.

"Not really," Penny replied seriously, but immediately got Ellie's elbow in the ribs in a silent demand and she realized that her friend wouldn't give up until she had said what everyone wanted to know at once. Even Ben had turned around in his seat to look at her curiously and she met Sam's confused look in the rearview mirror, not for the first time. "I've met someone, okay? Nothing special," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest to look out the window again while Sam thought he was going to be hit and was silently grateful that they were going straight ahead at walking speed. This meant that in his shock he was able to grab onto the steering wheel and not run the risk of causing the car to go off track.

"Why don't we know about this? We're your friends," Ellie asked, confused and a little offended.

"I don't want to make a fuss about it. I thought it would be better to separate professional and private life," Penny answered quietly, without looking at any of them.

"But somehow you still don't seem so happy," Jodie stated, startling Penny.

"What? Yes, sure, everything's fine," she stammered immediately.

"Penny!" Ellie warned her seriously and Penny gave in, sighed deeply and decided to play with her cards open. It had been on her mind for so long now and she didn't know what to think about it. She was surrounded by her best friends. Maybe talking about it would help her gain some clarity for herself.

"My Mum blurted out on the phone this morning that he used the days I was away to ask my parents for their blessing," she murmured awkwardly, nervously playing with her fingers again.

"Excuse me?" Ellie exclaimed in shock as she and Sam gasped in shock.

"Like a blessing? What's that supposed to mean? Is your Dad a priest?" Ben objected, amused.

"Idiot, that guy wants to ask for Penny's hand in marriage," Ellie turned to Ben and slapped him on the back of the head, which made Ben wince more in shock than pain.

"Then why do you need parental permission? I always thought the woman had to agree?!" Ben replied and turned to Ellie in his seat.

"It's good behavior, Ben!" Sam murmured through gritted teeth, clearly getting on his nerves that Ben was so on the fence and delving deeper into this topic.

"What's his name?" Jodie interjected with a smile, the only one who showed a little more joy for Penny and less shock than her sister and Sam.

"Matty, well...Matthew actually."

"What is his job?" Ben then asked.

"Administrative employee," Penny replied sheepishly and looked up in the mirror again to see how Sam reacted, but he just stared at the road.

"Uh, sounds like an interesting story. Did he give you a ticket or give you an advantage on your last tax return?" Ellie interjected with a grin while Penny rolled her eyes. "Tell me! How long has it been going on with you that he wants to take such a big step?" she asked curiously.

"I met him at my brother's birthday party. The two are colleagues.
Just six months ago."

"Wow, that's fast," Jodie interjected in surprise.

"He must be pretty sure he won't find anything better than Penny," Sam stated emotionlessly and for the first time their eyes met in the mirror.

"That didn't sound so positive somehow. Neither for him nor for me. Thanks Sam," Penny interjected a little sarcastically.

"Excluding you, of course. I meant that in a positive way. I can hardly judge him. But there must be a reason why we never got to know him," Sam replied and Penny frowned in confusion at his words. Sam was never that judgmental, especially not towards someone he didn't even know.

"I'm sure he's a really great man and just appreciates what gold he's found in Penny," Jodie chimed in with a smile to calm the rising waves that were noticeably in the air. The last thing they needed right now was to be crammed together in a small car for an uncertain period of time, as well as being in a bad mood and arguing with each other. Especially since she sensed that the mood of at least two passengers had changed since Penny's confession.

"Thanks, Jodie," Penny replied with a tight smile that Jodie immediately returned before Penny looked up seriously in the mirror again, only to see Sam looking back at the road while Ben rummaged in the glove compartment.

"How about you, Penny? Will you accept?" Ben asked, playing with a lighter he had found inside.

"I've never thought about it. I have no idea. I'm not getting any younger..." Penny murmured truthfully about what had been going through her head since her mother's revelation. The steady click of the lighter as Ben lit it again and again filled the otherwise prevailing silence.

"No good reason to agree to a proposal," Sam muttered sullenly before reaching over to Ben, forcefully snatching the lighter out of his hand and throwing it back into the glove compartment, slamming it shut immediately.

"Better than not doing one at all. Right, Sam?!" Ellie just complained and slapped him on the shoulder. The two's eyes met briefly in the rearview mirror and they glared at each other. It was no secret that Ellie wanted to see the two of them together more than anything else. Sam, on the other hand, remained silent. Apparently fate wasn't quite as kind to Ellie's plans as she had hoped - and neither was Sam.

Ellie demonstratively threw herself back into the seat with her arms crossed over her chest and a more than offended look in Penny's direction. She couldn't believe that the two of them were so stubborn and that her best friend had decided to look for a boyfriend behind her back.

While silence fell again in the car and only the Christmas songs on the radio broke the silence, Sam was lost in thoughts that made it abundantly clear to him that he had waited too long, hesitated too long. He had lost the woman he loved before he had even found the opportunity or the courage to win her.

Penny didn't miss the fact that Sam's mood had changed at the mention of her boyfriend, much less his gloomy look on the street. She knew him too well to believe he was just focused and worried about the weather. There was something else, but she also knew that it would be foolhardy to hope that it was because he felt more for her than she had previously assumed.

That was the only reason why she had gotten involved with Matty six months ago, when her brother had introduced her to his colleagues. For years she had held on to Sam, during which time he had never indicated or given any hint that he was interested in anything more than their good working relationship and their friendship. Ellie always wanted to see the two of them together so much. She always talked about them flirting, but to them both it seemed like nothing more than harmless jokes. Wouldn't he have said something else or asked her out?

Matty was very different from Sam. He had really tried for her and slowly won her heart with many small gestures and attentions. She was happy with him even though they still lived separately because Penny didn't want too much so quickly. She had wanted to take things slowly to get over Sam. Hearing that Matty was now ready to marry her, both flattered and frightened her. Was she even ready for this? Did she really want to be with him for the rest of her life and start a family?

She had never thought much about her future, but in what she had imagined, she had still seen herself as a member of the Pontypandy Rescue Team in her old age and had imagined that she would always work with Sam in her later years . So she had the desire to grow old with Sam professionally. Would she want it privately too? Was it even worth thinking about? Probably not, because if Sam had really wanted to, he would certainly have taken the appropriate step in the last 6 years.

Sam was the hero next door. The best firefighter of all time. No one would be able to convince her that he could be afraid of anything, especially her.

To be continued...