third person pov

' it's called:
freefall '

Inside of the DADA classroom Remus J. Lupin stood by one of the arched windows, looking upon the half moon shinning into his warmly lit classroom. He had many things on his mind, being back at Hogwarts proved nothing but the fact that the past would always haunt him.

Suddenly his door swung open with a resounding bang, his head snapping over to a shocking sight.

Rose Black tumbled in, a loose nirvana shirt on and a cardigan that definitely didn't belong to her. The chunky boots on her feet were loud as she started scrambling around, holding a thick book in her head as she panted.

"Miss..." Remus swallowed thickly, "Miss Black?"

Rose's eyes locked onto his, clutching her chest with a frantic look as she slammed the door back shut and began talking faster than anyone he had ever heard. "I know you don't really like me and I know we never really speak but I'm freaking out and I'm almost hundred percent sure I'm having a panic attack!"

He didn't dislike her, quite the opposite actually. There was history she would never know. Like how the night Sirius Black went to kill all those muggles Remus stayed home with Rose until Walburga suddenly showed up. The witch demanded for Rose, she had been having the house watched for weeks and was waiting for her moment to steal the Black heir away from Sirius. Remus put up a fight of screaming and spells but he was no match for that of Walburga.

And everytime he looked in Rose's eyes he was reminded of the year he spent raising her, an ache deep in his chest that she would never know how he would sing in a gritty voice all his favorite songs and lull her to sleep.

It didn't help that she was, in a most definite way, too much like Sirius Black.

Remus blinked and quickly started walking through the isle of desk to get to her, "Miss Black I do not dislike you"

"I was going to go to Minnie or someone because I see how you avoid me Professor! But—but they all love Dumbledore too much!" Rose took a shaky breath, running toward Remus so fast he stopped in his tracks. "I was reading the Bell Jar! The Bell Jar as one does!"

She started shoving the book in his face urgently, "I was on Dumbledore's couch and waiting for him to get back! I just wanted to read the Bell Jar and cry! Then all the fucking sudden his pensive opens!"

James Potter sat on a desk with Regulus Black, his legs swinging. "Ten bucks Moony faints"

Remus grabbed on to her shoulders with widened eyes, trying to keep her from moving. "Okay...just take a deep breath with me"

"No! No! I will not be taking any deep breaths Mister Lupin!" Rose yelled up at him, swatting his chest with her book. "Oh—oh my god I can't breath"

"Miss Black!" Remus stated sternly, "I beg you to calm down"

"You don't understand!" Rose gasped out, "Dumbledore he—he took James Potter's invisibility cloak before they died! He snuck off with it!"

Every muscle in Remus' body tensed, face falling and breath hitching.

"Oh no" Rose mumbled at his horror and pulled herself away with frantic eyes, "You're going to tell Dumbledore what I saw, aren't you?!"

Remus opened and closed his mouth, no form of speech being able to come out.

She covered her mouth, bringing the book to her chest. "Yeah—definitely having a panic attack"

On instinct Remus collected himself, grabbing Rose's arms with the steadiest breath he could manage. "I want you to look at me—I will not tell Dumbledore anything"

The way he said the headmasters name with spite brought her some hope.

Rose dropped the book to the ground, feeling her body tingle with that familiar feeling of anxiety as she grabbed his hands and met his gaze.

"Okay now look around and tell me five things you can see"

"Uh...you" Rose breathed heavily, her hands tightening over his as she searched the classroom. "Your desk and um....that weird spinning globe you have"

Remus nodded with a twitch to his lips, "Give me a few more and take your time"

Rose sucked in a rush of air, "Okay. I see the wardrobe and I see...the moon"

"I'm proud of you" Remus stated and rubbed her arms, "What about your hearing? Give me three things you can hear"

Rose closed her eyes, focusing on any sound around. "Your breathing and the wind from the cracked window and—and the sweeping of the broom behind you"

"Good good" Remus nodded encouragingly, "Move your fingers around and take some deep breaths with me, okay?"

"Okay" Rose slowly flexed her fingers atop his, taking a deep breath as he did. With the utmost patience, Remus repeated this process until her breathing had slowed and her body stopped feeling as if it was tipping over an edge.

After, Rose blinked up at him, letting her hands from his. "How...how do you know how to do all that?"

"Someone I used to know had them a lot" Remus murmured, checking her over to make sure she was fine. "You feel better?"

"A lot so" Rose breathed out as he rubbed her arms comfortingly again, "Thank you Mister Lupin"

His smiled slightly at the name before whispering cheekily, "Anytime Miss Black"

Her lips curved up, bending down to grab the book off the ground. She shook her head as she dusted the cover off, "I'm so sorry that you had to do that—I've seem to have lost my head today"

His brows furrowed at her sudden flip of demeanor, "As I said it is no problem"

Rose sighed heavily, nodding toward his desk. The two quickly fell into a lazy walk towards the front as Remus dared to ask a question, "Do they happen often?"

"Not as much as they used to," Rose shrugged, "My grandmother hates them so I try to keep them under control"

"There is nothing wrong with experiencing such things out of our control" Remus nudged her shoulder as they walked up the steps, "I dare to think your grandmother is wrong to feel such a way"

Rose began dropping down on the top stairs with a dry laugh, "Yeah well tell that to her"

Remus took to sitting next to Rose, "If you'd like I would"

She smiled at him oddly, "You're a odd man Lupin and a brave one at that"

"You think so?"

"I know so" Rose affirmed with a gentle glance, truth be told she had figured out he was werewolf months ago. It wasn't hard to spot when you were raised helping one, but Whitman noticed first—told her all about his theory. Running her nails over the cover of book, "Why do you...think Dumbledore took James's cloak?"

Remus tiredly draped his arms over his knees, the full moon was only a few days ago. "There's many possibilities"

"What if...what if the people we often idolize are not who we believe them to be?" Rose slowly dragged out, worry consuming her. "It feels very bleak to think about"

"You mustn't think such awful things Miss Black, if we lose hope in the ones who guide us—well what else do we have left?" Remus paused, choosing his words wisely. "But we should not idolize Dumbledore either. In way, he had done just like Voldermort in the first war. Using children to fight a man's battle"

Rose raised her eyebrows, a itching beginning in her brain. "You'll say his name?"

"There are things worse in this world than that evil man"

"Hm" She rolled her shoulders back, "Can I ask why you think Dumbledore would have the cloak then?"

"Probably took it from James on purpose. Knowing the boy he could've offered it up in fear of what was to come of him and Lily Potter"

She let out an exhale, "I guess that is plausible"

"You focus on being young regardless what adults like Dumbledore and Walburga might tell you—leave all the crazy stuff up to the adults"

"I wish" Rose laughed sadly and extended out her book to him, "Do you want to read it?"

Remus' tired eyes opened in shock, "Do I—" He cleared his throat and took the book, "Would you like me to?"

"Yes" Rose answered simply, "I've read it a million times over and so has Theo which means you'll see his little annotation in it'"

"You enjoy Slyivia Plath?" His fingers ran down the book cover with intrigue.

"She's one of my favorite muggles" Rose smiled softly, "The confessional style of her work is simply amazing. Bad relationship with her father, troubled academic scholar, psychiatric hospitalizations, ruthlessly critical of herself and so on—I've never felt so seen by words on a page"

Remus had to swallow down the lump in his throat that she could relate to such, "I'll read it for you but I can get my own copy"

"No, definitely not" Rose protested, "It'll be a lot more enjoyable with Theo's annotations. He's really good at it—I mean he does it to every book I have and then I have to reread just to see his wondrous thoughts"

"He seems like a kind boy and very intelligent"

"He is" Rose suddenly lit up like the stars high in the sky, "I'm pretty sure you went to school with his father but you should know they are nothing alike. Theo's good—really good" She shook her head with a bashful smile, "So good that I find myself comparing him to the highest compliment"

Remus nudged her shoulder, lips curving at her flushing face. "What do you compare him to?"

"The sun" Rose swatted the professors chest when he laughed, "I'm not joking! I mean he has an ego big enough to fill up this entire school but that heart—it's ten times bigger. Of course he's human like the rest of us though, makes mistakes and is flawed but I believe that's the most beautiful part"

"That someone can shine so bright and be so messed up?"

"Exactly" Rose giggled before pointing at him, "You have to check in on those people that are like the sun though—they get tired too"

Remus looked up at the ceiling with a smile, thoughts of James Potter playing through his mind. "I know"

James sniffled dramatically from in front of them, "This why I'm always going to be team Theo"

Regulus rolled his eyes and patted James' back, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"She's the Reggie and Theo's the James" James scoffed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Rosie gets me"

"Oh I'm going to cry too" Regulus muttered, covering his face up.

Immediately James reached over with big worried eyes, "Are you okay?"

Regulus shot his head up with a blank look, "Obviously I'm not going to cry James"

James gasped, wiping his own cheeks off. "That's cruel—I can't handle any of your teasing today"

Regulus fell into a fit of laughter, leaning his forehead on James' arm. "You are the epitome of a sap Potter"

Rose stayed in the DADA classroom for a long while, not beginning to realize or understand how easy it was to talk to Remus but somehow she found herself explaining all of her friends to the professor. Remus on the other hand listened to every word, not knowing how to tell her he had kept up with her life through the prophet over the years.

By the time she left the moon had reached it's apex in the sky and the corridors of Hogwarts were empty, only faint light from the night sky casting a grey hue into the school. On the first floor, down a narrow corridor, Rose walked with a black cloak over her head that she had pulled from her little pouch and boots on her feet echoing.

She ran her hand down the wall slowly as she walked, the rings on her fingers scraping.

"Where is it?" She mumbled, counting her steps until she reached the middle of the corridor.

Rose froze as her hand pushed in slightly on one of the stones, turning to the wall and casting her eyes both ways before her gaze flicked up the stone.

What did Tom tell me?

Five. Three. One. Two.

With a deep breath Rose counted five stones over from her hand and pressed in, then she slid her palm up three stones. A loud click echoed as the third stone pressed in.

"Thank Merlin" She muttered before trailing her hand left one stone, then down two. As soon as she applied pressure to last stone, the wall started cracking.

Rose stepped back, a sigh of relief escaping as the stones started to crumble down without hitting the ground—disappearing into thin air.

Suddenly there was a gaping archway that led into pitch black darkness, an eerie feeling radiating from the entrance as she stepped through without hesitation.

She jumped in surprise as the wall immediately closed, taking away the sliver of light she had from the corridor.

Someone was there, she could tell from the sound of breathing.

"Whose there?" Rose questioned loudly.

A wide hand slapped over her mouth, slamming her back into the stone wall to her left. Rose immediately started fighting as a towering presence settled over her.

Realizing whoever it was had much more physical strength than her, she reached under her cloak, yanking the dagger out from her holder and pressing it up against the neck of whoever had grabbed onto her.

She heard the person intake a sharp breath as she dug the blade in.

"Salazar sake Rose" Mattheo whispered, keeping his hand over her mouth as he pressed his body into her own. "It's me so calm the fuck down"

Her movements immediately ceased, breathing calming down but she didn't drop the dagger until he slowly uncovered her mouth.

"Mattheo?" Rose breathed out, grabbing onto his arms and blinking in the darkness. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Take that dagger off my neck and maybe I'll tell you"

"Not my bloody fault you grabbed onto me when I can't see a damn thing" She struggled to take it down and shove it back into the holder from how tightly he was pressed against her, but ultimately managed.

Mattheo's hands settled on her waist, not having clarity of anything from the darkness. "Lower your voice"

"Why would I lower my voice?!"

He leaned down to her quietly, "Because we do not want to get caught in here"

"How would someone even know where we are?" Rose whispered harshly, "What you are even doing in here?!"

"Trying to get an artifact" Mattheo whispered back just as harsh, "Now explain yourself"

"I happen to need one as well" Rose reached up, trying to find his face but jabbing him all over in the process.

Mattheo huffed as she kept trying with her nails jabbing his neck, "What are you doing?!"

"Trying to find your face!" Rose hissed, letting a breath of relief when she found his sharp cheekbones. "If I'm going to speak to you when I can't see anything I need to at least touch you"

His brows furrowed, "Why would that be necessary?"

"To have some sort of connection! Do you have to ask so many questions?!"

"You are frustrating"

Rose laughed dryly, "Is that why your pressed up against me right now?"

Mattheo's jaw ticked, ready to back away from her until a loud knock rung against the wall—his hand immediately going back over her mouth.

"Filch" He whispered, waiting until the footsteps sounded far off to slid his hand away.

Rose huffed and went to push off the wall, accidentally making their lips brush. They both froze, a sharp intake of air coming from Mattheo.

One.

Two.

Three.

Rose shook her head and placed her palm on the stone wall, sliding it for balance as she moved away from him to prevent any awful decisions. "I need to do something and you're going to keep that entrance closed"

He cleared his throat, "What could you have to do in the pitch black?"

"I often wonder if men have any idea how to simply shut up" Rose stated boredly, lifting her free hand up and conjuring a ball of bright white light. She glanced over her shoulder at his now illuminated face, "There you are pretty boy"

Mattheo rolled his eyes, "I hate that name you've made up for me and do you have to insult an entire race of people constantly? Men aren't awful"

"It suits you well" Her lips turned into a smirk, "And I'll stop insulting men when they stop insulting me"

"Do tell why any man would insult you"

"I'm richer than them all, I'm literally beautiful which has more downfalls than spoke about, I'm smarter than them—which often drives the lot crazy because how dare a woman be more intelligent?" Rose hummed in fake contemplation, "Oh and I'm not nice to men either. You all seem to forget that women owe you absolutely no kindness at all"

"Whatever Black—hand over the light and do whatever weird thing you're planning. I don't feel like listening to one of your rants" He leaned against the wall and held out his hand.

"Why thank you Riddle" Rose tossed the glowing orb back to him before looking around the small boxy room and dropping to her knees as she faced the wall across from Mattheo.

"This place is much smaller than I remember" She murmured while sliding off the Black family ring from her right pointer finger and then the one under it which was Regulus Black's ring.

"How do you even know about this?" Mattheo questioned tiredly, moving the light around in his hand.

"Old friend" She shrugged, refusing to tell him the ghost of his father educated her. Mattheo's brows furrowed in confusion as she pulled a feather out from inside her cloak and sat it in front of her knees on the cold stone floor.

With a sudden chant of fluid Latin the rings in her right palm started spinning without leaving her skin, Mattheo straightening up slightly as he felt the air shift.

Regulus Black tumbled into the room, tugging himself away from James Potter. "Screw off Potter—I'm being summoned"

"I can help her!" James attested, rolling his eyes at Mattheo's presence.

Regulus quirked a brow, "Really? Because I'm pretty sure I'm the one she asked to keep watch on this room"

"Oh and how did she ask you that?" James laughed, "Do tell"

"She said it aloud to the air!" Regulus grunted and straightened his coat out, "She knows I'm watching over her!"

Rose ceased the Latin as the air stopped feeling as if it was whooshing around, beginning to mumble to herself as she closed the Black rings in her palm. "Come on Regulus"

"Whose Regulus?" Mattheo questioned.

"No one" Rose muttered, staring down at the feather in the ground.

Regulus was bent down, going to reach for the feather to show her where the bones were but stopped at her words. "Did she just say I'm no one?"

James smirked happily, "Ouch Reggie—she's embarrassed of you"

Regulus narrowed his eyes at Rose, going to flick her forehead but his fingers just went straight through. "I'm not helping you young lady"

Rose groaned loudly, "Regulus I know you're there"

Regulus jumped slightly before scowling as James laughed, "Fine I'll help her" He grumbled, "I feel unloved—unloved I tell you"

Rose started to impatiently stare at the feather when suddenly it began to moving to the left, ever so slowly it kept heading left until almost pointing to herself.

She smiled widely and looked up, "Thanks Reggie"

Regulus stood up to his full height, crossing his arms with a lifted chin. "Mhm"

She began standing, almost facing Mattheo from the direction the feather was. Her eyes darted between the wall and the feather before she pressed her hand against the center of the stone bricks, "Apertis"

Mattheo leaned up as the wall started to shift, stones sliding out of the way. "Do you often talk to the air?"

Rose appeared contemplative for a moment, "Yes actually—way too much" She grinned when the wall fully opened to reveal a massively red bag she had hid there. The room they were in was complicated, a hidden spot in Hogwarts where dark arts students hid artifacts since the beginning of time. Rose had decided to hide the enchanted bones she would need for a ritual there but the issue was when one placed an artifact in the walls, they would move around and shift to make sure no falculty could find them.

She reached in, attempting to pull the bag out to no avail. "Fuck sake" Rose grumbled and curled her finger, making the bag float and follow after her as she backed away.

Mattheo blinked at the size of the bag, "What the hell are you?"

"I'd say Santa Claus" Rose rolled her eyes, "But that old tale is so creepy"

"Santa...Claus?"

"Muggle story about a weirdo who sneaks into children's homes"

"Forget it" He laughed confusedly, "Is that all you need?"

"Mhm—get me out of here"

Mattheo tapped the stone wall where the entrance once was, in an instant opening it back up, revealing the corridor.

Rose stepped out happily, the bag following after her. "I best be off—my boys are waiting"

"I wanted to talk to you about that" Mattheo stated with an edge, stepping out after her and sighing as the wall started closing back. "I know something's been going on with you and Draco"

She froze, turning around to face him. "Nothing is going on with me and Draco—don't be ridiculous"

He raised a brow but his face appeared as if he wanted to kill her, "Listen you're not going to play games with me then run around doing Merlin knows what with him and that Nott boy"

"I'm not playing games with you Mattheo" Rose smiled kindly, reaching out to adjust the collar of his jacket.

"Rose" He grasped onto her wrist, "How do you think they would feel if they knew you still came to see me almost every night?"

"They wouldn't care because nothing is going on with them nor with you"

He breathed heavily, tightening his jaw. "I'm not a fool. You're manipulating me"

"Manipulating you?" Rose laughed and patted his cheek, "Now you're just making up words"

"Making up—" He paused to gawk at her audacity, Rose shaking her head and pulling away. "Rose this conversation is not over"

"Listen I'm trying to care," She placed her hand over her heart. "But it's really hard"

Mattheo's mouth fell open and she took it as a escape, her smile slipping as she started down the corridor and left the boy to stay stunned.

The trek from the school, down the ruddy hills of Hogwarts, and over to the Forbidden forest was long and made Rose's legs cramp with unforeseen pain. With a chill she pulled the cloak higher on her head, twigs crunching under the heels of her boots as she waded through the forest until she heard distant voices.

In a large clearing coated with ferns and wilting green grass, Draco leaned against a tree on the edge, a cigarette hanging loosely in his lips as he stared up at the moon.

Theodore Nott sat on a cut tree trunk next to him, fiddling with the rings over his fingers as Whitman paced in front of them over and over.

Blaise on the other hand was looking around curiously, speaking his thoughts aloud. "What could possibly be taking her—"

"Stop being so impatient" Rose snapped, making all the boys jump slightly from her sudden appearance as she slid the top of the cloak off her head, the red velvety bag floating behind.

"Merlin woman!" Blaise yelled, clutching his chest.

She regarded them all with distaste, "No one forced you all to be here"

Draco pushed himself up off the tree, shoulders rolling back as he tipped the cigarette to the ground and smushed it with the leather of his shoes. "By some unforeseen force we wish to be here"

She heard the teasing and cockiness in his voice, meant to entertain her as it always did. But it wouldn't work today. Sometimes Rose wished she could be like everyone else, maybe like Whitman. He had seem to have forgotten everything, but there was days where she could only see Orion's dead lifeless eyes staring back into her own. It came in waves and sporadically. She had seen and been through too much.

Rose was tired.

She was tired of dealing with the haunting of Orion Black.

She was tired of getting ten paged letter's from Walburga telling her to do better.

She was tired of feeling like she couldn't admit how much she loved the two men that were there and waiting because she feared what Wablurga would do to them.

She was tired of dueling Dumbledore twice a week.

She was tired of not being able to talk to Hermione.

She was tired of pretending everything was alright, the only time she ever got to not be was when she was with the people closest to her.

Just tired.

As Draco neared the epiphany of her struggle became apparent, his comforting hand sliding onto her back with pinched brows. "Are you well?"

She couldn't put on an act infront of them how she did with Remus and Mattheo, it was as if her defenses became nonexistent when in the presence of the four and suddenly she was in the mood to cry like she planned in Dumbledore's office.

Her eyes glossed over before closing, "I just don't feel good" She muttered, beginning to ramble. "I started my period and my head just really hurts and I didn't eat anything today. I—I don't know" A tear rolled down her cheek, "I haven't slept good for two days because of that curse and I just really really want a brownie"

Draco's eyes widened, worry taking over his features. "Oh—um okay"

"Okay?" Rose snapped at him before frustratedly wiping her face.

"No no I'll get you a brownie" Draco reassured and pulled her into his side, "I'll get you as many brownies as you like"

Theo nodded quickly, Blaise blinking rapidly at a rare breakdown from her as Whitman stood still. "Ro we don't have to do this tonight. Let's just go lay down and eat some chocolate"

"No no" Rose cried quietly, tucking her head into Draco's chest. "I can't have a brownie"

'Brownie? What the fuck is going on?' Blaise mouthed to Whitman, getting a sharp elbow in the side as a response.

Draco soothed down her hair, swallowing thickly with the knowledge her tears had a deeper meaning. "Why can't you have a brownie?"

"I'm meeting Walburga in Hogsmeade next week and she'll know if I gained any weight" She sniffled, "And now I'm ruining your coat"

"Rosie you are not ruining anything" Draco murmured softly, bending his head to speak directly to her. He knew if he tried to say how wrong Walburga was it would do no justice to help Rose, so he went with a approach that always worked for her. "How about just one? Hm? She won't know"

Theo shared a look full of raised brows with Whitman at the ever broody and rude Draco being so soft spoken. No one really knew what had been going on between the two. They had kept up their endless taunting and banter but now it ended with smiles of joy after. Truthfully, Rose and Draco didn't even know what they were doing. They hadn't kissed since the night of the quidditch game but every time their fingers even brushed both would take in a rush of air, the tension almost felt like it was bound to consume them hole if another minute passed.

The fact the same situation was occurring with Theo didn't help anything, struggling like wild animals to keep themselves in check.

"Maybe just a bite" Rose murmured, twisting the fabric across his sides in her fingers.

Draco nodded and rested his chin atop her head as Theo spoke reassuringly, "Yeah that sounds good. Why don't we go do that?"

"I'll lead the way" Whitman piped in.

"Honestly fuck Walburga Black" Blaise spat, "I hope the bitch drops dead"

"Blaise" Theo scolded, eyeing him in irritation. "Shut up and leave it alone"

"No I'm not going to stand here and be complicit" Blaise threw his arms up, "Rose you're what? Eighty something pounds? You need food to live especially when you're having a period!"

"We all know that Blaise" Whitman rubbed his forehead, "Now is not the time to make a point"

"What's wrong with you guys?!"

Rose winced at his yell, keeping her face against Draco with the refusal to see Blaise upset.

"Just shut the fuck up Blaise" Draco snapped.

Blaise pointed to himself, "I'm not going to tip toe around you Rose because you're going to fucking kill yourself!" He shook his head, eyes turning glassy from keeping his thoughts in for so long. "Does no one remember how we sat in that hospital for two weeks last year while she had a breathing tube stuck down her throat because of this?!"

"We all remember" Theo hissed, wishing he could take away Rose's hearing so she couldn't witness what was happening. "But we aren't selfish enough to throw it up in her face!"

"Someone has to! Someone has to tell you, Rose, that your actions affect everyone around you!" Blaise stammered after his yell, frustratedly wiping a tear that fell. "Walburga is a piece of shit and she's trying to kill our bestfriend! Why is no one else upset?!"

Rose turned around from Draco's chest with watery eyes, "Blaise please stop"

"I won't watch you kill yourself!" Blaise stated shakily, backing away and pointing to himself again. "You're my family and I won't watch you do it. I—I can't take it any more"

In an instant he was off, wiping the tears away as he sped through the forest like one of the woodland nymphs. Blaise knew everyone became as worried in light of recent weeks but he felt like Draco in that moment, snapping at someone because he cared so much and being painted as the bad guy for it. He wasn't being delusional, her hair had been thinning, arms bruising from a single touch, knuckles tarnished from the days where she would eat and then force herself into the bathroom. Blaise had seen this movie one two many times, the signs were clear and from the amount of letters she had been receiving from Walburga—all knew that it didn't matter how happy she was with life or not.

Rose wouldn't be able to give up the need she had began to get skinner and skinner for her grandmothers validation which had turned into a wrapped version of her own desperation.

Every single time she started doing better, Walburga rolled around to scold her.

It didn't make her weak in Blaise's eyes but it did make her life a tragedy to him.

Too young, too smart, too beautiful.

None of it would ever be fair.

Rose casted her eyes between the three boys left, "I'm sorry"

Like protocol, they knew what to do. Draco pulled her against his chest, uncaring about the confused eyes on him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

No.

No.

No.

"No" She whispered, breathing out as he wiped her face off with the rough pad of his thumb.

"Then how about we go to that fort we spent all night on and have some brownies?" Theo mustered up the best smile he could.

Whitman nodded, discreetly twisting his rings around to ease the anxiety he felt. "Yeah—we have our period kits ready"

Rose sniffled again, "Your period kits are crazy"

"What can we say?" Theo winked at her, "We've been trained in the art since thirteen"

Her lips slightly moved up, "Okay. Yeah. Let's go to the dorm"

Draco lifted his chin up from her head, shooting a glare to Theo as the boy reached for her. Suddenly very posseive, Draco moved Rose from his chest to under his arm—guiding them into the woody forest.

"What about the bones?" Rose questioned quietly as they began to walk ahead.

"I'll come move them in the morning" Draco hesitantly pressed his lips to the top of her head, content when she gave him a tired smile but a genuine one. "Don't worry about a thing"

Behind them Theo narrowed his gaze, annoyedly he nodded toward Draco. "Did you see that? He's been acting so weird"

"You've both been hogging her time up like dogs" Whitman grumbled, "Maybe Draco just wants a little attention after fighting for years with her"

"They still fight but now it's just clear flirting and it pisses me off" Theo slipped his hands into his pockets, "Did I tell you what happened the other day?"

"What happened?"

"We almost kissed. Again. That's the third time this week"

Whitman's eyes rolled, "You guys almost kiss all the time—the tension is suffocating me"

"Yeah" Theo felt a deep sinking pit in his gut, "It's suffocating me too" He paused before the sinking got worse, pulling Whitman to a stop. "If we need to kill—"

"I know" Whitman cut him off, "We'll do it"

*

When arriving to Slytherin house the group found the common room empty except a few lingering students lounged around on couches with quills and parchment. Rose and Draco were still leading the way as they turned to go up the dormitory steps, only making it a few feet up before Whitman yelled a unsuspected name confusedly.

"Hermione?"

All eyes directed up to their dorm door where Hermione Granger was bending down and appeared to be planning to set a small pinkish box on the ground. She froze, head turning before quickly standing up and tucking the box behind her back.

Hermione pushed the curls blocking her vision back, immediately spluttering out words. "I just—well I our cycles are um...."

Rose slipped out from under Draco, slowly closing the distance between them with a sudden quick beating heart of nerves. "Why are you here?"

"Our cycles, they synced up a while ago and I still keep track of yours since you lost the calendar I gave you for it...uh" She glanced over at the boys uncomfortably before quickly shoving the box toward Rose, "I paid the elves of course but I know you always want brownies when the time comes so I had—"

Her sentence was cut off by Rose's arms flinging around her neck so forcefully they stumbled slightly. "Oh" Hermione chuckled lightly in shock, keeping ahold of the box as she started to wrap her arms around Rose's back. "I didn't know you would be here I swear Rose"

Whitman pushed Theo up the stairs who then pushed Draco, Hermione continuing to laugh nervously as one by one they all stepped around the two girls and filed into the room except Theo who paused.

"We'll be in the dorm, okay?"

Rose nodded in the crook of Hermione's neck, tightening her hold on the girl as Theo let out a worried sigh and followed after Whitman into the room.

"I'm so sorry" Rose mumbled, the laughter coming from Hermione ceasing with a sharp intake of breath. "I feel like I'm dying without you"

"I know" Hermione quieted her voice, resting her chin on Rose's shoulder. "Me too"

The Black contemplated jumping off a cliff as her eyes filled with tears once more, "I don't know what to do Mione—I don't know how to keep you safe"

"I'm really sorry for what I asked of you. It—well it was wrong of me" Hermione squeezed Rose tightly, "I should've never said anything like that"

"It's okay" Rose mumbled, pulling back enough to see Hermione's watery eyes and wipe them. "Don't cry please"

"You're crying too," Hermione shook her head and started wiping Rose's face.

"Don't worry about me"

"I'm always going to worry about you"

"That's a bad habit"

"Eh, some might agree"

Rose smiled sadly, bringing one to match onto Hermione's features as she pressed her thumbs in. "I have to keep you safe. I can't be selfish about this and let you into my life"

"We'll worry about that later" Hermione murmured, "For now let's just be happy together"

"I can't risk you"

"Rose" She rushed out, "Tell me now. If it really came down to it would you let Walburga hurt me?"

Rose didn't have to think twice, "No—never"

"Okay then we don't have to worry" Hermione promised, smiling again as Rose dropped her forehead against Hermione's own. "Can we just go back to how we were? Be young together while we can?"

Rose had to contemplate the idea, fearful of what would come to Hermione from simply being close by someone like herself. "Okay" She mumbled before pulling away with a firm nod, "It'll all be okay"

"Yeah" Hermione nodded along, "It'll be okay"

"Do you want to come in the dorm?"

"Are you sure?"

Rose rolled her eyes, grasping onto Hermione's wrist and tugging the girl into the dorm which was a shocking sight. The beds were no longer in vision, a massive white cloth draped over the top of the door and leading into the center of the room like a tunnel to where tons of blankets and floor poofs were laid around, the cloth forming a circle that was lit by odd appearing fairy lights.

Hermione blinked rapidly, "What....?"

"A fort" Rose informed and dragged her in further, grinning as Theo and Draco walked through the one slit that led to the bathroom. "Watch this Mione"

The girls settled on the opposite side of the entrance, Rose taking a deep breath as she sat up against a pile of pillows and pulled a fluffy blanket over her legs as Hermione took to sitting across from her.

Theo dropped down next to Rose, leaving the basket on the other side of himself as he pulled out a bluish heating pad and bottle of funky looking medicine. "Heating pad and medicine"

Rose took both gratefully, unscrewing the top of the bottle as Hermione's eyes grew wide at the sudden glass of water appearing in Draco's hands as he sat on the other side of Rose.

Hermione snorted and covered her mouth as Rose attempted to hide ever twitching lips. Without hesitation Rose took out two pills and swallowed them as the two boys stood up and began darting away.

"Rose" Hermione laughed, "How does that heating pad work without cords?"

Rose sat the glass down on a spot untouched by anything accept the white cloth draped on the floor, "Do you have your wand?"

"Yeah?"

"Pull it out"

Hermione listened, opening up her jacket and pulling out the elegant wand as Rose held out the heating pad.

"Tap it"

"What?"

"Just do it"

She hesitantly tapped it with her wand, letting Rose guide her hand down to the object after—surprised to find it already blistering warm.

"My goodness!"

Rose laughed and lifted up her shirt to tuck the heating pad onto her stomach, "You're not a muggle anymore Mione—need to get used to magic making everything easier"

Hermione swallowed at the bruises on Rose's stomach which were quickly covered by her shirt falling down and the blanket being pulled back up. Before either could speak Theo and Draco were walking back in with Nyx and teeny tiny plates, Hermione having to cover her mouth again.

"Oh Nyx" Rose called as Draco handed her the snake before settling himself beside her, pulling the blanket over his legswith a chill. The snake curled up in a ball on her lap as Theo spoke, "Do you want a brownie now?"

"Sure"

Theo reached and grabbed the box from beside Hermione before pulling a knife out of nowhere, lounging back as he started cutting the brownies into small pieces—a tactic that often made Rose feel like she wasn't eating as much.

Whitman peaked his head in through the slit that lead to the bathroom, "Are we thinking heated blanket too?"

"No" Rose laughed, "Just come here"

"Are you sure?"

"Whit!"

"Sorry" He muttered sheepishly, crossing over to sit next to Hermione.

"Are they always like this?"

"Yes. When I first got it and explained what it was they thought I was dying" Rose deadpanned, "I let them believe it for fun"

"It was not fun" Draco grumbled, subconsciously letting his pinky brush over Rose's from under the blanket. "Rosie was a demon child"

"Not fun at all Hermione" Whitman spoke as Bowie discreetly slid out from his sleeve, "Draco had a panic attack, Theo started sobbing"

"And Whitman started screaming like he had hysteria" Theo added on mindlessly, Rose smiling fondly at his focused look on the brownies.

"Oi! I thought she was going to die!"

"It was tortuous" Draco shivered at the memory, turning on his side slightly. "I had no idea about the monthly womanhood haunts"

Rose began laughing, "Why do you call it that still Draco?"

"A witches weep is much more suited" Theo pointed at Draco with the knife.

"Now I have to know why you call it that Theo?" Hermione asked.

"Because it makes witches weep" Theo stated plainly.

"I feel awful for you Rosie, I really do" Draco shook his head as if distraught, "It's why we have the kits" He appeared contemplative, "You know one time I thought I was experiencing sympathy PMS"

Rose tipped her head back with hysterical laughter, Hermione speaking with another snort.

"No way"

"Yes way" Rose struggled out, clutching her stomach as the laughter started to make her ache.

"It's a real thing" Theo affirmed with spite, "We all had it"

Whitman sighed at the recall, "It was awful"

"There we were, fourteen years old and trying to take care of Rosie when we were also suffering" Draco nodded furiously.

Hermione laughed as Rose's eyes filled with tears from laughing so hard, "Rose—did you tell them it was real?"

Rose nodded and focused on the girl, wiping her eyes. Whitman gasped, "It's not real?!"

"Nope" Rose laughed out again.

"You little minx" Theo narrowed his eyes at Rose.

Draco pinched the skin atop her hand, "We've been fooled—fooled for years"

"Oh my that's hilarious" Hermione grinned.

"Perks of being the only woman growing up with a lot of gullible boys" Rose shrugged when suddenly Hermione screamed as something green jumped on her arm before flying through the air and eventually landing on Rose's lap.

"Merlin!" Hermione yelled in fear. She quickly realized it was a Bowtruckle as the creature sat criss cross on Rose's thigh, clutching her chest in shock. "Oh—oh it's a Bowtruckle...how did you get a Bowtruckle?"

"Mione, meet Bowie" Rose giggled and lifted Bowie up, starting to hold him out. "You can hold him" Just as Rose was about to put him into the waiting hand of Hermione, Bowie latched onto Rose's fingers desperately, leading to the girl bringing him back to her chest with a sheepish grin. "He has attachment issues like his daddy"

"Oi!" Whitman scoffed, shifting uncomfortably.

Hermione smiled curiously at Bowie, "Bowie? As in...what's that singers name?"

"David Bowie" They all chorused together.

"Yes, that's it!"

Whitman's head slowly turned to Hermione, Rose muttering a 'oh no' to Draco and Theo. "You...you don't know who David Bowie is?"

"Not really" Hermione shrugged, "Heard my parents say his name before but not besides that"

"You don't know David Bowie?" Whitman repeated with a thick swallow.

Hermione shrugged, furrowing her brows at his odd behavior. Whitman turned to the others with wide eyes, mouth not moving as he blinked.

"Oh loads" Rose groaned, "Mione I think you've broken him"

"He's sensitive" Draco grumbled and leaned up to pat Whitman's shoulder, "Whit it's okay—not everyone can be as grand as you"

Whitman's head snapped back to Hermione, "You really don't know David Bowie?"

"Whitman! I've heard of him, I just don't listen to the man!"

"You don't listen to him?" Whitman grimaced, starting to rub his face as if spiraling. "Oh Merlin—Ro we have to just go buy you a muggle like Draco suggested"

Hermione gasped in offensive, "Excuse me—"

"Mione" Rose warned sternly, "He's very sensitive about this topic"

She scoffed before attempting to fix her mess, "Well what about Pink Floyd? They are cool and a lot like Bowie, right?"

"Mione...." Rose muttered in horror.

Theo shook his head in disappointment, "You've really screwed up now"

"Rosie hand him one of your pills before he has an panic attack"

"Pink Floyd?!" Whitman suddenly yelled, forcing Hermione's eyes to grow wide. "How could you—" He stopped himself and looked up at the white cloth hanging above them, "Merlin...I'm about to cry"

"Look what you've done" Rose breathed out, grabbing one of the cut pieces of brownie from the box and shoving it into Whitman's unsuspecting mouth. "I'll teach her all about Bowie tomorrow Whit"

"Forget it" He held up a hand of defeat, "She doesn't deserve to hear his greatness after that comparison"

"How am I supposed to know what you're all talking about?!"

"You were born in muggle society!" Whitman spoke exasperated, "How do you not know?!"

"Whit shut up and have a brownie with me" Rose demanded. Whitman giving Hermione a glare before nodding firmly with a mumble of 'fine'

"Anyways," Theo spoke before Whitman could lose his mind again, "I'm about to show you, Hermione, the best trick in the book for our dear Ro"

Rose grinned, "It's excellent"

"Perfection really" Draco added on mindlessly, too focused on the way Rose kept their pinkies together without hooking them.

Hermione lifted her chin and gestured him on, "Let me see it"

Theo sat the brownie box down, pointing at all the small pieces before taking a fork and shoving three onto one of the miniature plate. "Small pieces trick the brain into thinking it's little amounts of food"

"Watch and learn Granger" Rose teased, swatting away Theo as he tried to feed her a piece but ultimately gave in.

A truly shocking thing happened as Hermione watched on, Rose ate the entire box with a smile. Hermione never really appreciated the boys being there for Rose and had her own prejudices against them but as she saw how calm Theo was to Rose as he helped her finish the food with her tucked in his side and how the ever evil Draco talked about random things to purposely keep the atttention off of Rose with Whitman cracking jokes ever so often—Hermione felt grateful.

She was sure she had never seen Theo smile so much, or Draco appear so peaceful as his fingers intertwined and untwined with Rose's under the blanket for no one but Hermione to catch.

After all these years Hermione felt like she could take a real breath of relief, because Rose was safe with those boys and she was happy—really happy.

*

The next day Rose and Blaise made up from a simple exchange of words and a bone crushing hug. As usual it was the time of their monthly book club, or cult meeting as Blaise would say. At the very last row of the library on the left side they had taken to their constant spot where a circle of leather lounge chairs were, a coffee table sprawled with Greek literature thrown atop as the sun shone through the floor to ceiling window.

Rose was sat in a chair across from Draco, her heeled feet and legs tossed over the arm rest as she adjusted the belt across her plaid skirt before pulling on the collar of her tight turtle neck. Her body felt weird today, tingling but not in an anxiety way.

Draco on the other hand sat with the sleeves of his varsity sweater pushed up, elbow leaned on a armrest as he talked with one hand in a condensing tone.

Then there was Blaise beside him who as always joined this meeting but never read any of the text, his eyes wondering around the students who passed by the isle—happy to be included and always mentally stimulated from the topics of which he had no idea what was happening.

One side of Rose had Whitman, the boy holding a book as he leaned forward in his seat, soaking up every word Draco was saying.

And lastly Theo, lounging back lazily as he teasingly tapped on Rose's heels with a fist covering his mouth before he began speaking when Draco stated an opinion that had them all talking over him.

The conversation floating was full of pretentious voices and there had never been a moment where the group of five appeared more classist, as if hosting a gathering of elitist who held their intellect at a higher standard than the population with talk of Greek myths heavily bouncing around—Blaise instructing them to stop speaking in Greek so he could understand.

Rose sighed dreamily, switching back to the English language as she picked at her nails. "Imagine having a love so strong that someone starts a war for you"

Theo raised a brow, tipping his head back to gain energy for a moment. "Like who, Helena of Troy or Apollos plethora of lovers?"

"Helena of course" Rose affirmed with wandering eyes over the boys, "Apollos lovers met their doom because of his own ire"

Draco laughed pompously, waving her off with his hand tiredly. "But her story is hardly one to envy, she was bestowed as a gift to Paris from the gods and Menelaos. Have you not read the Iliad?"

The Black narrowed her eyes at Draco, "Of course I have you daft imbecile! All I am saying is that I wish for a man to be as hopelessly devoted to me as I to him. And besides, Helena had a far fairer fate compared to Apollos lovers"

"Which one?" Whitman questioned with a smirk forming, he enjoyed a good battle of wits between Rose and Draco. "As Theo said there was a plethora of them"

Rose swung her legs off the arm rest, sitting up straight. "Take Daphne for example, a nymph doomed from the start solely because she couldn't find it in her heart to love a vengeful god"

"The predicament Daphne found herself in was horrendous" Theo scoffed in offense, "The woman simply dismissed his advances to steal her virginity so he turns her into a tree? Despicable"

"Personally Cassandra was one of the worst punished by Apollo" Draco added on, Blaise grinning at the quick back and forth occurring. "This god comes along and promises her the power of prophecy after chasing the woman for a strenuous amount of time but after she continually rejects him he curses her to only see the tragedies that were about to happen, but assured no one would believe her" Draco shook his head, "That's real eternal doom"

"Exactly" Rose affirmed, glancing over at Theo. "Imagine if your visions were cursed that way Teddy"

Theo yawned and smiled lazily, "They already are—I'm plagued by the treacherous future"

"Oh you poor thing" Rose teased, standing up and pecking his forehead as he leaned forward for it. She laughed lightly, pushing his hair back while facing the others. "Put this to a pause while I grab some water"

Draco waved her off, "Yeah yeah"

She shot him a wink that had the boy rolling his eyes with a twitch to his lips before Rose began walking down the towering isle of books, clutching her head halfway down when the world felt like it was spinning.

Whitman stood up at her frozen state, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Rose called back and started walking again, little black dots spotting her vision. As she exited the isle and became out of sight, Rose latched onto the end of the book shelf on the isle over—legs wobbling and heart pounding.

With futile attempt she tried walking again but had to recoil back, holding onto the shelf. She took deep breath that only came out shaky, nails digging onto the wood as she wavered.

The next thing Rose knew her vision went black, consciousness fading, her body hitting the floor with a thud.

From the isle over Whitman's ears perked, "Did you hear that?"

"I can't hear her walking anymore" Draco mumbled before standing up, horror seeming to settle in on them all at once.

Like a flash of lightening they all rushed out and over to find her limp, passed out body. Draco scolding Blaise who tried to lift her up and demanded he go get Pomprey so they didn't move her head.

Blaise rushed to Madam Pince who used some weird button system to call for the mediwitch. Pomprey arrived quickly with a kit in hand, gasping at the Black on the floor being circled by the boys as Blaise led her there.

"I—I didn't want to move her head" Draco stated shakily.

"You did the right thing" Pomprey muttered, shoving the blonde to the side so she could crouch down by Rose.

"She's going to be fine, right?" Theo questioned quickly, "She's fine—"

"Mister Nott!" Pomprey scolded him as she took ahold of Rose's hand and pressed in on her wrist, attempting to find her pulse.

Theo stayed crouched down as he covered his mouth, the silver of his watch reflecting in the light as his eyes darted frantically.

Pomprey face turning from one of worry to pure solemn did nothing to ease his worries as she sat Rose's hand onto her stomach, "I can't find her pulse—she'll have to be transported to Saint Mungos"

"What do you mean you can't find her pulse?" Draco spat, "She's not dead!"

"It is too faint!" Pomprey yelled back before taking a deep breath and placing a hand on the blondes shoulder, immediately getting pushed off. "I need you all to go back to Madam Pince and call for Dumbledore. Tell him it's an emergency"

________________________________

A/N: would you all hate me less if I said rose is going to get better eventually ?

—well....I don't have much to say except enjoy your theories of what happens next

—the rest of third year is abt to zoom by in a very few and short chapters because summer is going to be SO much fun

—Hermione bringing her brownies was precious on a lighter note

—the boys kits had me wheezing...imagine them all sobbing bc they thought she was dying at thirteen and Rose is just watching as if she has popcorn in her hands

—Remus and rose are the definition of "I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep"

okay this chapter was too sad for me to have commentary sorry loves xoxo

MEMES TO CURE YOU:

rose:

Remus when Rose came busting into his room:

me when Blaise and Rose fight:

Rose after telling Mattheo he was making up words:

The boys on the other side of the door getting ready to hex Hermione if she made Rose upset again:

Hermione to Rose after finding out she convinced the boys that sympathy PMS was real:

Rose when she had even Draco Malfoy acting like a servant:

Hermione bringing Rose brownies:

me plotting to hurt you all before the euphoric happiness of the summer coming in a few chapters:

xx bri