(p.s. this was supposed to be two chapters so it's really long—wait until you have a lot of time on your hands for this hefty thing)

third person pov

' falling from grace '

The rush to Saint Mungos was one of the most hectic things any of the boys had experienced, unlike the last time Rose had been hospitalized the fact she had barely a pulse was cause of choas.

When Dumbledore arrived he immediately scooped up Rose, rushing her through the emergency floo in the library and straight into the lobby of Saint Mungos where a group of mediwitches were waiting with a bed. Voices shouting demands and cords being pulled out of rolling poles as her body was laid down, the bed moving away. Everyone followed after and up through the inclines of the hospital until reaching the Malfoy wing, stomachs dropping as they watched an oxygen mask be placed over her face before she was pushed into a private room with Dumbledore shutting the double doors.

Of course the boys tried to fight their way by the old man, shoving and yelling but ultimately failed as Dumbledore used wandless magic to push them back a little ways and took to grasping Theo's shoulders.

"Mister Nott!" Dumbledore scolded, struggling to make him stop moving. "They cannot help her with all of you in there!"

Theo jerked himself away from the wizard, speaking with a hoarse voice. "Why are they acting like she's dying?!" He gestured to the door, "That was all insane"

"It is protocol when one cannot find a heartbeat," Dumbledore stated calmly, "I assure you Rose will be fine but I need to go contact her grandmother...would you all like anyone else to be informed?"

"Don't you dare contact that—" Draco began to yell but got pulled back by Whitman who gave him a pleading look.

Draco straightened up as Whitman spoke quietly, "Contact all of their families"

Dumbledore nodded curtly, patting Theo on the shoulder and walking down the brightly lit hallway. With the freedom to look into the room through the small window, Theo peered in, watching as two shocking pads were placed to Rose chest before her body convulsed up, leading to him turning his face away with a pained look.

As Draco went to do the same, suddenly a mediwitch rushed over and closed the blinds. "What is it?" He asks, grabbing Theo's arm.

"Nothing" Theo's words come out so small they are barely audible before he tears himself away, moving to the wall where Whitman was slumping down, mindlessly joining him on sitting against the cold tile.

Theo glanced over as Whitman slid hands through his hair, mumbling quietly. "She'll be okay"

"Yeah" Theo speaks the best he can before tipping his head back against the wall, and he's sure it not enough—not enough reassurance but it's all he has to give. The only way he can stay afloat and be the sun he is to everyone is when Rose is behind him, filling him up with light but she's not there.

Blaise mumbles to himself before taking to the other side of Whitman, the expensive leather of his feet skidding as he lets his legs slide out on the ground. He can't help but feel guilty, less than twenty four hours ago he was yelling at Rose and telling her this would happen.

They sit in silence for a while, Draco standing at the door with his forehead resting against the cool metal with anxious fingers wrapped around the handle.

"Draco," Whitman calls after minutes and minutes have passed, "Just come sit down"

Draco side eyes them without lifting up before mumbling with a shake of his head against the door, "I'm not moving"

Twenty minutes began ticking by, Dumbledore slowly returning at the same time as Draco suddenly began recoiling away as the door started to open.

Out stepped a greying mediwitch in lime green robes, scribbling on a clipboard with the emblem of a bone and wand crossed on her chest. Everyone was up on their feet in an instant, circling around her like prey almost.

Her head upturned, "You'll be delighted to know Miss Black is stable and we did find a clear heart beat"

Whitman went to step to the door but was stopped by Dumbledores arm, "Please let her finish Mister Rosier"

"Thank you Albus," The mediwitch stated plainly, tucking the clipboard to her chest as Draco tried to peak at the words. "There are a few things I need to tell her grandmother, where is she?"

"She's coming but you can inform us now" Dumbledore spoke with a demeaning tone, one that held warning to not protest him.

The mediwitch stared at him disapprovingly before speaking, "As I said she is stable but has not woken up nor are we sure when she will. Since this is one of the countless emergency visits Miss Black has had we will be keeping her for a bit even when she wakes"

"Can we go see her now?" Theo asked hoarsely.

"Yes you may—" The mediwitch did not get time to finish her sentence before each of the boys started trying to push her away from the door. She immediately pressed her back against the handle to block them, "Not all at once! Two at a time!"

Scoffing, Draco nodded at the end of the hall where the his family name was plastered on the archway. "You see that name up there?"

"I'm well aware of the name Mister Malfoy"

"Then you'd be wise to let us all in or you will find yourself working in a different wing where I assure you they will pay you much less" Draco shot her a warning look, the words falling off his tongue with spite.

The mediwitch pursed her lips, stepping to the side. "Go on but do not attempt any magic on her"

Draco would've blasted the idea that any of them could be so stupid but his ears became mute as they all started filing into the room vast room, eyes only capable of searching as mediwitches meant to leave passed by—his vision blurring them out as he found what he was looking for.

Rose laid on the bed in an all too familiar hospital gown, a sheer tube feeding air into her lungs and hooking inside her nose, little white cords that lead to places unseen from the blanket and cloth over her skin with one mediwitch staying behind and touching her face gently.

Draco's head buzzed as he stopped on the other side of the bed, sucking in a rush of air.

"Theodore," The left behind mediwitch spoke quietly to the boy settling next to her, flaming locks of red greying from years of practice. She got no reaction from the boy whose eyes were locked on Rose's face with a big lump in his throat bobbing. "She'll be alright"

Layla Nemair, a healer who had became Rose's favorite in the hospital and always ended up caring for the girl. Also was one of the few Rose could trust to not tell the prophet anything about her stays.

"Too young" Layla muttered before turning on her heel, patting Whitman's shoulder as he took to take her place. "Draco would you like to see her notes?"

She knew them too well.

"Please," Draco breathed out, ever so slowly reaching down to touch Rose's hand in fear she would crumble into dust, unsteadily brushing their fingers together with uncomfortable water coating his eyes.

The door swung, Dumbledore holding it open as the infamous sound of Walburga Blacks heels clicked, a fur coat hanging off her shoulders as Miss Zabini trailed in beside her—then lastly the tapping of two canes belong to the eldest Malfoy men.

"Tell me Demair," Walburga boasted loudly and cold as she crossed the room, "What has my granddaughter done this time?"

The mediwitch retracted the hand that was preparing to hand the clipboard to Draco, tucking it back to her chest and straightening up. "It is a long story Miss Black—maybe Albus can recall the beginning for you"

Walburga sneered, yanking the clipboard away. "Just give me that"

Like glue three of the boys eyes stayed on Rose as Blaise turned around when his mother reached him, wrapping his arms around the woman's waist for some form of comfort.

Miss Zabini slid her shinning hand onto Theo's shoulder, the other holding onto Blaise as he stayed buried against her. "Your father and Narcissa are handling the press downstairs"

This made Theo break his stare for a moment, his voice coming out like a broken whisper. "The press? Wha—how do they know already?"

"The classic troubled rich girl" Walburga added on mindlessly as she scanned the file, "Witches and wizards alike cannot seem to get enough of it"

Dumbledore cleared his throat, keeping a distance between himself and the parents. "She lost consciousness in the library Walburga, hit her head pretty harshly on the way down"

Walburga rolled her eyes, tapping the clipboard with her manicured nails. "Oh Salazar Demair, at risk of heart failure? Needs to be kept under watch?" She shoved the clipboard away annoyedly, "We are witches—a few potions and she will be fine. There is no cause for this melodramatic stance"

"Miss Black with all due respect," Layla began shakily, intimidated but refusing to back down. "Your granddaughter is not well. Her health is deteriorating, her bones are weakening, hair thinning...potions can only do so much to heal her because if—if she keeps living this way she will die young. Not to mention the curses that her body as endured"

"I beg your pardon? I would mind your tongue Layla" Walburga voice cut sharper than a knife, "I know what is best for my granddaughter and I do not need the petty opinions of a low meddling witch like yourself" She stepped closer, towering over the red head. "Remember your place in this world or so help me in the name of Merlin I will ruin your life—now get out of this room"

In an instant Layla was gone, dropping the clipboard on the table at the end of the bed with a clattering echo.

Miss Zabini pursed her lips tightly, unable to glance at Rose in the unmoving state or express her thoughts as she wished due to the fact she had forgotten her wand.

"Hm.." Walburga adjusted her fur coat with a sudden calm tone, "I will be off to give a statement to the press with Theodore and Narcissa before this turns into something ugly and ruins her name. Come with Albus and we can talk of her training"

Bullshit. All of it. Draco couldn't believe the resounding silence from all the adults in the room, the boys—he understood. They were all too busy focusing on Rose's breathing to probably hear what was happening and Blaise was too emotional to bring himself away from his mother.

But not him.

No.

The usual most stoic and collected of the bunch was about to lose his mind.

"Piece of shit" Draco mumbled without looking up, swiping his pointer finger over the Black ring on Rose's finger.

"Excuse me?" Walburga raised a brow, forcing herself and Dumbledore to a stop as they began to turn with the intention of leaving. "Do not talk under your breath. If you have something to say Draco—please do"

His head turned up sharply with animosity, snapping in an instant. "I have a lot of things I wish to say to you nefarious woman" This gained the attention of Theo and Whitman, their gazes slowly retracting from Rose's face to Draco's with confusion on what was happening as they finally came to. The blonde spat his words with spite, "Everything wrong and every time she's found herself in this bed is your fault and your fault only. I am disgusted by the nerve you have to stand there and act like you've been anything other than a disease"

Blaise's head turned up to his mother as he pulled away, mouth open in pure shock. On the other hand Abraxas Malfoy could only blink at a new side of his grandson, Lucius barely spluttering out a scold.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy!"

"Oh no, do let him go on Lucius" Walburga laughed dryly nodded at Dumbledore, "I'll meet you outside Albus"

Draco found it impossible to feel his grandfather shifting by his side, or the urgent tapping of his fathers cane warning him to stop as Walburga stared at him and he stared right back—neither speaking until the door shut behind Dumbledore.

Walburga raised an eyebrow, "I do get why you would feel the need to defend—"

"Defend?" Draco hissed before yelling, "You don't get a damn opinion on her life!"

"Really now?" Walburga shot back, "I raised her, I wiped her bum, I took care of her—I am the one who saved her from a disgraceful fate"

"You never took care of her!" Draco raised his voice again and gestured to the boys, "We took of her, we cleaned up your mess every single time you incomparable cunt!" He upturned his chin, grasping onto the edge of the bed tightly with a menacing tone. "I'm sure the world would love to hear that Walburga Black likes to abuse little kids—mentally and physically"

The grandmothers throat ran dry, seconds passing before she gripped onto the foot of the bed, matching Draco's daunting tone. "I'd watch yourself little boy, mummy and daddy can't keep you safe and neither can your grandfather"

Abraxas cut in, "Walburga"

"You think I'm afraid of you? I've seen what you're capable of my whole life" His knuckles turned ghostly white as they tightened on the frame, "Everyone knows what you're really scared of, how much you fear the day Rosie sees through your bullshit lies of love—you're terrfied even of her realizing how awful you truly are" Draco looked Walburga up then down, "Because let me tell you something Walburga, everyone in this room knows she could tear you to pierces with the lift of her pinky"

Lucius spoke sternly, "That's enough Draco!"

"I don't think it is" He scoffed without letting his eyes leave the eldest Black, "I'm not afraid of what this old hag hidden under glamour could do to me"

"You should be," Walburga affirmed, standing up straight with a furious glare. "Or maybe you should be afraid of what I could do to that girl laying there—that is if she even wakes up from her own stupidity"

All of the sudden, Draco was shouting and trying to get to Walburga but being held back by his father and Abraxas grip. "You forget who my family is! I could have you thrown in Azkaban with the flip of my hand—Do not think just because you have money and this scary façade that you can escape the wrath of my angry mother!" Draco attempted to shrug the men off to no avail, nodding at them. "You cannot—Because these two might not give a shit but I can assure that you have nothing on her!" He paused with a heavy breath, stilling and practically growling out the words. "So Merlin help you if I decide to tell her how you spoke to me and Rosie—your life will be over. More money, more power, more of a woman than you could ever be"

Stepping away, Walburga had the most putrid look on her face, eyes twitching and the thickest silence that ever surrounded them passing by before she finally found words. "Would you like to get the job started for her then? You plan to hit a woman Draco?"

He was moving again, struggling in their hold as he yelled. "I'd beat your fucking face in with my bare hands if I got the chance!"

Walburga pursed her lips tightly, jaw ticking as she turned on her heel, letting the sound echo out as she quickly walked to the door with an uncomfortable roll of her shoulders.

Breathing heavily, Draco stopped thrashing, yanking himself away as the hands of his family loosened on him. "Get the fuck off of me" He rubbed a hand over his chest as he looked over the two older versions of himself, "And get out of here you complicit cunts"

Lucius began, "Draco you cannot—"

"You can all die for all I care!" Draco stated manically and gestured to Rose, "You are going to leave her alone—she is going to get rest without any of you bringing your awful presence around!"

Abraxas screwed his chin upward, "Draco I would have said something to—"

"Get out!" Draco barked.

With offended and angry faces, the two Malfoy's began leaving, a sound of echo from their tapping canes as they went like Walburga. Draco grasped onto the ground bed frame with both hands, his head dropping as he heard the doors slam.

He could feel eyes burning into his skull, head turning up as he snapped at all of the people opposite of him staring. "What?!"

"Nothing" Blaise muttered quickly with round eyes and a shrug.

"I—well I just have never seen them three silenced" Miss Zabini stated as she wrapped her arm around Blaise's shoulders.

"Thank you" Theo mumbled the best of his ability, brushing the strands of black off Rose's face.

"I didn't do it for you" Draco mumbled right back.

"I know" Theo affirmed, only grateful someone had said what needed to be said for her.

Whitman on the other hand couldn't formulate a sentence, angry, sad, hurt tears being held back in his eyes like a floodgate as he tried to focus on the ways Rose's chest lifted with each breath.

She was breathing, that was all that mattered.

Narcissa rushed in with a loud voice, "She's concussed?!"

Miss Zabini jumped slightly at the sudden intrusion, "Merlin Cissa!"

Abruptly, Narcissa halted at the end of the bed, heart dropping at the familiar sight and the empty gazes of her boys with slouched shoulders. "How—what happened? All the others are leaving but they did not explain anything"

Blaise looked at his friends who payed the mother no mind, "She fainted and hit her head...the eatings bad again and she's been happy but—but Walburga just won't stop hammering her"

Something Miss Zabini had only seen in their school days when a man had harrrased herself and Narcissa lost her mind flashed through the woman's eyes, "Walburga?"

"Mum" Draco spoke like a tired man, "We're going to be here for a while I think"

Like the strong woman she was, all Narcissa did was a take a deep breath before speaking firmly. "I'll go get some more chairs and some clothes for you all and food—"

"I'll do it" Miss Zabini cut in with understanding and let go of her son, "You stay here with them"

"I'll come with—I need to go get Nyx from the school" Blaise mumbled distantly.

Narcissa nodded curtly, letting the woman slip away with Blaise as she drifted over to Draco with a quite voice. "Can I?"

Draco moved upwards a little, letting his mother get an actual look at Rose.

Her breath hitched as she took ahold of the Black's hand, eyes filling with tears at how sickly Rose appeared. "My sweet girl" She whispered and pressed her lips to the cold hand with a tear falling.

Draco wanted to comfort his mother but he didn't have it in himself, all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hold Rose tightly.

"Boys," Narcissa spoke sternly and wiped the tear off her face as she set Rose's hand down but didn't let go. When all three looked at her, there was no trace of anything other than anger in her eyes. "You know what you have to do now, right?"

"Yeah" Draco nodded tensely, hoping his mother meant what he believed. "We do"

Theo breathed out, "We'll get rid of Walburga"

"Undoubtedly" Whitman confirmed, the first time he had spoken since entering, his lips pressing to her forehead with the utmost gentle touch.

"Good," Narcissa stated emotionlessly, "Make it clean—no messes"

"Of course" Draco nodded.

"I'll take care of you all," She grabbed the clipboard off the end of the bed and held it out, "Now read her file Draco so it can bring you some sort of peace to know they are treating her properly—I'm going to get Demair back in here to check her vitals again"

The rest of the day was a blur, Miss Zabini bringing back clothes for everyone and so many blankets she had two of her house elves carrying in stuff. Blaise had brought Nyx in who turned into a frantic creature until Draco managed to calm her down with usual tactics. By the time the sun set and the moon came up both the mothers had left with promises to return tomorrow.

Now, Blaise was passed out on the couch after one too many sleeping potions with a thick blanket over himself, all the boys changed into comfortable clothing for the long night ahead. Then there was Draco in the comfiest chair one could have in a hospital and still be pressed up against the bed, his chin resting on an arm he had laying beside Rose's.

Theo was in the same position, just on the opposite side of the bed with a blanket over his shoulders that Narcissa had placed there when he refused to speak.

And Whitman who had ditched his chair and sat on the foot of the bed, leaning back against thre railing as he rested her legs over his. The room was dark but warm as could be, many windows providing a semblance of light from the night sky.

Who knew how many coffees they had drank with the mission to not sleep, Draco who never touched the substance had even downed too many to count—claiming it was punishment for himself.

"She's going to wake up soon, right?" Whitman asked, subconsciously rubbing his thumb over her ankle.

Even though they had all taken to silence, each were comfortable breaking it with one another. Maybe it was because the three of them were all aware that they were the only ones who fully understood how this felt—the only people in the world who loved Rose more than any poet could have dreamed of loving someone.

They had been through everything together with her, the highs and the lows, every single thing. When one fell, they all fell—it was simply how things worked.

"Whit, the mediwitches said it could be a week or two but she's—she's going to be fine" Theo spoke clearer than he had all day, fingers fiddling mindlessly with Rose's.

Draco tilted his head as it laid against his arm when her eyebrows furrowed. Speaking without the usual cool edge, "I wonder what she's thinking about"

"Probably that damn pumpkin again" Theo muttered, mirroring Draco's actions.

Whitman lips twitched sadly, "She's always dreaming about living in a pumpkin"

"I wish I could go in her mind" Draco ran his pointer finger down her palm quietly.

"She's got a whole world in there" Theo murmured.

Whitman nodded carefully, looking down as her leg twitched on his lap. "If you could go back to any time, when?"

"We're just asking all the ground breaking questions tonight, huh?" Theo asked in a gruff voice before sighing and looking up at the moon out the window.

"Guess so," Draco shrugged.

"I'd go back to when we were eight" Theo concealed his watery eyes that seemed to stick around all day, "Before mum died, before any of our abuse got bad—before Greyback attacked you"

"I'd give anything to be that clueless again," Whitman laughed with a quiet sniffle, "I wish we didn't learn about how harsh the world was so young"

"We can still find peace like Rosie always talks about," Draco traced over the life line on her palm mindlessly, "Take her and just go far far away from here—just us"

"One day soon when Ro's done saving the world," Whitman mumbled before following Theo's gaze up, "I miss your mum Theo. She wouldn't have allowed any of this to happen"

Theo dropped his head down, slightly moving so he could rest against Rose. "Me too"

Draco suddenly started to aggressively wipe his face off, "Gods—we are disgustingly sappy" He looked over at the two boys to see them in the same state, "Look at us"

Whitman swiped a hand under his eyes, taking the tears away. "Yeah—we're awful"

"Heinous even" Theo grumbled as he wiped his own.

*

By the fourth day of Rose not waking up Draco had a full blown panic attack and refused help, secluding himself in the hall until Whitman came and forced a calming potion down his throat while crying himself. Theo stayed against the bed, face cover in his arms as he quietly cried. Blaise wanted to call them dramatic but he was scared too—she had never taken this long to wake up. He had been coping in his own way, taking so many sleeping potions he was barely ever awake for more than three hours.

The fact that only Blaise had slept in their time at the hospital didn't help anything, all slowly loosing their minds in different ways.

Walburga hadn't came since Draco yelled at her on the first day.

Hermione had been alerted that morning by Mcgongall who knew the prophet was being dropped through the great hall for breakfast, carefully she shook the girl awake.

"Professor?" Hermione slowly rubbed her eyes.

Mcgongall kept quiet, not wishing any of the sleeping room roommates to hear as she placed a hand on the girls arm poking out of the comforter. "I don't want to scare you but something's happened to Rose" With a sinking pit in her stomach, Hermione began quickly sitting up. "She's okay—she's fine I promise"

Hermione was terrified to ask what. It could be drugs, her eating, a duel gone wrong with Dumbledore, her grandmother using a nasty spell—there were too many options.

"What is it? What's happened?"

Mcgongall's throat bobbing was an awful sign, "She's at Saint Mungos. Four days ago Rose passed out in the library and hit her head harshly in the process"

"Four days?!" She questioned loudly before quieting as Mcgongall shushed her, "I—I thought Dumbledore said there was a family emergency she had to leave for and all the boys went with for support"

"We had to make sure you didn't go see her while Walburga was there but her grandmother has not been to visit since she was admitted. Now you must know she hasn't woken up—"

"What do you mean she hasn't woken up?" Hermione's voice cracked.

"Oh Hermione," The professor whispered as the girls eyes filled with tears. "She's okay I assure you. I had to tell you before the prophet came out today with news of her hospitalization—"

"Can I go see her?" She sniffled with pleading eyes.

"I'll let you go through my floo, okay? We'll keep it secret"

Nodding, Hermione took in a deep breath before covering her face up and bringing her knees in.

"Come here" Mcgongall murmured, pulling the girl into her chest and soothing down her curls as she let her cry.

"She's okay"

"I swear" promised Mcgongall.

Hermione did not arrive to the hospital until the sun began setting, taking deep breaths in front of the metal double doors that led to the private room. She pushed a loose strand of hair that had fallen from her bun back, crossing her arms with the pink flowers tucked under before she pushed open the left door.

The square space was bigger than she would've thought and there were so many windows it seemed abnormal for even the wizarding world, the walls and everything around illuminated by an orange glow with too many flowers to attempt counting.

Blaise was the only one to notice her presence from his spot on the couch, grumbling and flipping onto his other side while pulling the fluffy blanket further up his chest.

Her ears began ringing as she dragged her feet over the tile. Theo sat slumped in his chair beside the bed, dry reddened eyes staring off as Whitman tiredly laid on his shoulder. Draco sat across from them with Nyx sleeping on his legs, rumpled wavy hair and purple rings decorating his bloodshot gaze that was as bad as the last. He appeared more ghostly than usual, if that was even possible.

She couldn't see them though and they didn't seem to bother paying her a glance as she paused by the foot of the bed, the ringing in her brain growing as she looked upon Rose tucked on her side with a tube feeding air into her lungs and white little cords pressed against her skin under a gown.

The plastic wrapping around the flowers crunched as Hermione sat them down amongst the others, the empty pit that hadn't left seeming to grow in her stomach as she glanced at the beeping machines.

It felt as if she was moving in slow motion as she walked around Theo and Whitman, her eyes that she was sure had no more tears to give filling back up before she paused by Rose's head.

"She's okay" Hermione sniffled as she studied Rose's relaxed but sickly face. "I'm relieved they didn't put that tube down her throat again"

"She's healthier this time around if you can believe that," Whitman mumbled without moving, breaking the silence that had been going on in the room for hours, Theo's eyes shutting at the traumatizing image from last year.

"I can," Hermione sniffled again, "She was doing better and she really happy you know? Despite Orion and her father, she was happy. She had made up with you, Draco, and she seemed to be getting that spark back that losing Orion took away" With a rush to finish her words, "I hate Walburga. Not to sound as if I'm reaching but I blame her for everything"

"Everything is her fault," Whitman cut in before shakily sighing, "You're not safe here—Ro won't forgive us if something happens while she's asleep"

"There are more important things than fear of death" Hermione whispered as she crouched by Rose, gentle brushing her knuckles over the rised cheekbones. "You know....I always thought she was the strongest person I'd ever meet—I get so scared of what that means for her"

"She shouldn't have to be strong" Whitman scoffed.

"No but everyone's dealt different cards Whitman, it's what we do with them that matters" Hermione smiled sadly, wiping the stray tears cascading down her face off. Her next words were meant to offer some constellation, "Do you think she is cruel?"

For the first time since she arrived Theo and Draco were paying attention, their heads turning up to her with empty looks that appeared as if they were ready to attack her.

"Well I know she's not cruel. When she got sorted into Gryffindor and I saw her walking towards me I almost threw up from being so nervous. I remember seeing her on the train, she was on Draco's back and the rest of you were following and laughing" Hermione sniffled for the millionth time, "I asked Ron who she was and he told me all these awful stories so of course I was scared she would hate me for being muggleborn and from learning about how she had grew up with only you guys—well I figured she would have to be one of those cruel girls that had to compensate somehow to survive what was a boys club"

She forced herself to pause, take a breath. "But she didn't, Rose was still a girl through in through. Oddly enough she taught me about femininity, loyalty, and made me realize fitting in would never really matter. My—my point is that although life was never kind to her, she's always had gentlest touch with the ones who really need it"

Draco huffed, pissed off at his own glassy eyes as he stared out the window and annoyed that anyone else knew anything about Rose's so called gentle touch. "None of us feel like being emotional or having company"

"Notice how you haven't said one slur to me since she's forgiven you?" Hermione laughed quietly at Draco's silence, "She has this way of sparking change in people without them realizing. I never realized it at first but I know now"

Blaise sat up from the couch at her speaking so honestly, taking that blanket off his body and wrapping it tightly over his shoulder as he slid back into his slippers, shuffling across the room to the chair next to Draco. Hermione's head turned to Blaise as he spoke quieter than she had ever heard, "Did you see the prophet this morning Granger?"

"Yeah, they're saying she tripped and got a concussion" Hermione wiped her face off, "Rita put some theories in though about what really happened—even added a column where people can send them in"

"Disgusting, isn't it? She's only sixteen and in a hospital bed while adults play a guessing game over what happened for entertainment" Blaise dropped his head onto the blonde's shoulder who held a ring clad hand to his mouth as he kept his burning stare out the window. "Could you do me a favor?"

"Of course"

"Tell Luna she's fine, I don't want her worrying. She refuses to read the prophet but there's no way people are not whispering about it at school"

"I'll go by the Ravenclaw common room and talk to her"

Hermione didn't end up staying long, no one other than Whitman would speak again and the sun was long gone, Mcgongall's timer going off in her pocket as a signal to go back to school before any other professors would notice.

A little time passed before one dared to break their silence again, "I'm going to shower" says Whitman, getting up sluggishly.

Theo propped his head up with an elbow on the thin mattress, shoulders rolling back uncomfortably from the cramps of no sleep and sitting in a chair constantly. Blaise was curled up in a ball beside Draco, snoring quietly as the blonde resumed his usual schedule of laying his head on an arm over the comforter and twisting Rose's rings around.

The bathroom door clicked, Theo mumbling tiredly. "She hates pink flowers—why did Hermione bring her pink flowers?"

"First thing I thought of" Draco replied cooly. Sometimes he didnt want to admit it or accept it, but deep down he knew Theo loved Rose just as much as he did, the boy had every detail of her memorized like himself.

"Do you remember the last time we brought her pink flowers?"

Draco gulped, the memory dancing around in his head like a melodic piano tune he would never forget. "Like it was yesterday"

flashback at Malfoy Manor
— nine years old —

The grounds of Malfoy Manor were vast, gardens at every turn, green grass stretching so far that the trees beyond looked small from the picturesque stone patio where Narcissa Malfoy sat with a wine glass in hand, red nails tapping against the surface as she adjusted her sunglasses. In the chair next to her Eleanor Nott sat, pin straight brown hair blowing with the wind, a cigarette hanging from her lips as she talked of her husbands newest mistress with the other mother.

In the distance Whitman was unfortunately being coerced into playing Abraxas Malfoy in croquet, Narcissa scolding with a yell at the both as Abraxas purposely hit a ball so forcefully it flew to the pool and almost bounced off the fountain that had just been put in.

In the opposite direction, Rose sat on her knees under a apple tree, a mess of black waves pinned atop her head and repeatedly staining her white dress as she rubbed her dirt covered fingers on the fabric, twisting pieces of the downy soft grass into rings while breathing in the warm crisp air of summer.

The heat was almost painful and would've been unbearable if it wasn't for the long branches full of leaves over her that provided the sweet serenity of shade, buzzing of bees darting around as Rose looked up to see Theo and Draco drop heaps of wildflowers in front of her.

"I think we collected a hundred of them" Draco stated breathlessly, the small blonde pushing the flowers into a taller pile so he could sit in front of her and let their knees touch.

"More like a million" Theo huffed, wiping his dirt covered hands over his shirt before mimicking Draco's actions.

"We can make lots for midsummers then," Rose says with a smile, resuming her twisting of grass shreds.

Draco frustratedly starts wiping off the white dress, "Rosie your covered in dirt again"

"I think it adds character," Rose giggles before holding out two grass made rings, "Look—give me your hands"

Reluctantly the two boys put a hand out each, Draco's brain irking about not getting the dirt off her. "Are they hexed?" Theo asked nervously.

Rose dropped her head forward with laughter, "No silly but I spelled them to never rot" after she started grabbing their hands and sliding the grass onto their ring fingers, "Now we can all get married"

Smiling like the happiest boys on earth, Theo spoke first, "You can't marry both of us Ro"

"You have to choose" Draco affirmed, his blue eyes sparkling as he watched her smile grow.

"Says who? Merlin?" She squeezed their hands with a lifted chin, "I will do no such thing! I choose you both!"

Draco and Theo began side-eyeing eachother, which slowly turned into full on glares. "Stop that!" Rose laughed, letting go of their hands to smack their shoulders. 

"I'm going to make it where you can't fight about it!" Rose attested, holding out both her pinkies. "Pinky promise that you'll marry me"

As their pinkies came to wrap around her own, she sighed dreamily.

"Pinky promise" Theo vowed, pressing his lips to his thumb before Rose pushed their thumbs together with reddening cheeks.

"Yeah—pinky promise" Draco repeated, doing the same as he kissed his thumb before pressing theirs together with a smile. "But Theo has to live in a separate house"

Rose gasped with a giggle, "Uh oh—he's kicking you out of our future home Teddy!"

Theo shrugged, unhooking their pinkies and sliding the purple gem off her middle finger onto her ring finger. "I'll just bury him in the back yard"

Draco's mouth fell open, eyes widening.

"He's crazy" Rose whispered cheekily with a raise of her eyebrows to the blonde as she tugged him impossibly closer.

"Demented I tell you" Draco whispered back, all three sharing a long look before falling into laughter.

Rose lifted up on her knees slightly to dig her toes further into the dirt as she tried to collect herself, Draco peeking around her back to see it happen.

He forced himself to stop laughing, "Rosie did you lose your shoes again?"

"No," She sighed at cool dirt against her skin and sat back down, "I just like being one with the worms"

"Didn't you hear?" Theo teased, "It grounds her"

Rose nodded proudly, finally taking notice of the heap of wildflowers they had brought to her. Eyebrows scrunching with distaste, "Why are there pink flowers with the others? I hate them"

Draco looked confused, "Since when?!"

"You love them!" Theo attested.

"Nu uh" Rose huffed, crossing her arms. "They make me sick now"

"What—"

"They are for bad men and I never want to look at one pink flower again!"

Just then their attentions were stolen by Eleanor Nott walking in front of them, picking up the side of her flowy dress. The mother went to open her mouth when a purple croquet ball tumbled by her ankle, she turned in the direct of a laughing Abraxas and Whitman who began high-fiving.

Eleanor pulled out her wand from the left pocket of the gown, pointing at the ball and sending it fly back in a rush. "You do that again Abraxas and I'll make sure it takes your teeth out!"

Rose smiled dreamily at the woman's attitude while Theo and Draco went bug-eyed once again.

"Sorry kids," Elenor grinned and began sitting down, "Figured I'd join you three"

Theo's lips moved up, "You're going to get your dress dirty mum! Ro's already ruined hers"

"Eh me and Ro Ro don't care about that" She shrugged and situated herself on the ground, "Do we now?"

"Nope!" Rose stated enthusiastically, "The ground it—"

Eleanor finished her sentence, "Grounds us"

Draco shoved Theo's shoulder, "There's two of them Theo!"

Rose and Eleanor shared a giggled before the mother spoke again, "What are you all up to? Cissa told me Rose sent you off to the field"

"I'm forcing them to make flower crowns with me for midsummers" Rose gestured to the pile between them all, "They are really good at it"

"Rosie!"

"Ro!"

"Nothing to be ashamed of," Eleanor laughed, ruffling the embarrassed boys hair before looking at the pile. "Why on Merlin's green earth would you bring pink flowers?!"

Theo scoffed with his hands going up, "You too? You both loved them Mum!"

"That was before your father started giving them to his mistress Theo" Elenor pointed her wand at the flowers, wordlessly turning all the pink hues into a beautiful yellow. "Now me and Rose hate them"

"We sure do!"

Draco's eyes darted between the two, "What's a...mistress?"

"The other woman," Theo grimaced, "Father apparently has other girlfriends—it's disgusting"

"Other girlfriends?!" Draco shook his head frantically, "That's gross"

"Yeah yeah but neither of you will be like him" Eleanor confirmed with a pained smile at her own life, nudging the boys.

"Never"

"Never"

Rose grinned from their replies, "We can get rid of him El"

The mother laughed at the nine year old girl, "How do you suppose we do that?"

Theo shrugged with shoulders slouching, "Turn him into a frog maybe"

Rose blinked at his mood shift, reaching over and grabbing his hand. "That's a good idea Teddy"

The mother smiled this time without forcing herself as Theo gave Rose a look of appreciation, "You're all too much" She laughed. "Now let's make some flower crowns!"

"You're going to help us?" Draco asked happily as Elenor started dropping a hand full of flowers in each of their laps.

"Help you guys or hangout with the adults?" She tapped her chin in contemplation, "I think I'll stick with you three"

"Because we're cooler" Rose affirmed, dropping her head onto Theo's shoulder as she started picking at the flowers. "Promise me you'll never make me look at a pink flower again?"

Eleanor began laughing as the two boys chorused together, "Promise"

end of flashback

"Do you two ever—you know?" Draco whispered, trying to find the right way to approach such a topic as they finished recalling the memory. "Do you guys ever talk about Eleanor?"

Theo's eyes shut, mind reeling deeply at the name rolling off someone's tongue. "Ro she—" Pausing with a shake to his breath, he began focusing on blinking red finger monitor on Rose's hand. "She thinks if we talk about my mother then she's never really gone. I guess the idea we've kept her alive somehow is the only way I can cope and Ro understands that"

"That summer was so good, of course shit was still happening but I never thought less than a month later Eleanor would be gone" Draco shook his head, "I miss her too—I'm sorry I never told you that. I'm just not like Whit and Rosie, you know? Sometimes I think I'd rather die than speak my mind"

"You're my brother Draco. You didn't need to say anything for me to know you miss her," Theo frustratedly wiped a stray tear before laughing sadly, "And Ro might've told me that you cried to her about it a lot"

"You cunt" Draco mimicked his sad laugh, "Should've known Rosie couldn't keep one secret from you"

"Hey! I don't keep shit from her either"

"Really?" Draco questioned, "You haven't told her that you're in love with her"

Theo's eyes snapped over to Draco, "Neither have you"

His throat closed, slowly meeting Theo's gaze and he suddenly wanted to crawl in a deep dark hole and never come out. "I—" There was no point in denying it at this point in their life, they knew as kids and they knew now. It wasn't too hard to recognize someone else being madly in love with the person you were.

Draco straightened up defensively, shrugging it off. "Because once I do I'll have to duel you to the death"

"Like the muggle way?" Theo laughed as he wiped another frustrated tear from his eyes, wishing Rose would just sit up and say she was okay. "We can steal some of those guns they use"

"You think I'm joking?" Draco scoffed, "I'd do it for her"

"No I know you would because I would too" He scoffed right back, "Love makes us insane"

"Guess we've been driven mad our whole lives then, eh?"

Reaching up, Theo pushed a strand of black hair from her face. "Couldn't have worded it better myself"

The silence began to grow again, thick upon the realization that one of them was going to end up heartbroken and they would inevitably hate each other for their rest of their lives with animosity for being the one she wanted. But then again, there was no certainty that she returned feelings for either of them, they could simply both be doomed to being miserable and alone forever as they watched from the sidelines.

That wasn't what was important to either of the two right now though, they just needed her to wake up and get better. Love, hate, and everything in between could wait. The pair only wanting her to love herself as they did her.

"I better get rid of those flowers" Theo began standing up, limps feeling dead from the constant sitting.

Draco dropped his head back down onto the mattress, "Can't break our promises"

"It would be an awful thing to do," Theo muttered as he had the same grimace he held at nine while picking up the pink flowers, crossing the room to dump them in the trash.

*

A week.

One whole week of her sleeping in a bed and not waking up once.

They had managed to finally rest just last night, Blaise slipping sleeping draught into all of their drinks with the knowledge it had to be done. He ended up being scolded for doing so, but it was for the best—no one could go a week without sleeping and not lose their minds.

None of the three woke up until late afternoon though, taking an hour to fuss at Blaise before Whitman forced himself to leave after a long discussion about how it was time for them to start planning against Walburga since they had some semblance of sanity from sleeping.

He returned around seven at night, slouchy sweater hanging off his body as he rushed back into the room with a leather bound journal covered in oddly colored crystals and a small bag. His eyes drifted over to the couch where Blaise was asleep once again, "Back to sleeping already?"

"It's all he's capable of doing" Draco scoffed, sitting up straighter as Rose flipped sides to face him. "Did you run into Walburga at Grimmauld?"

"No she's staying at the summer house in Milan to relax according to Kreach" Whitman spoke with a roll to his eyes as he dropped the bag to the floor, picking up Rose's legs and situating himself on the foot of the bed as Theo began talking hoarsely.

"How's Kreacher?"

"He's fine Theo, did you feed Nyx?"

"Obviously" Theo grumbled, stroking the head of the snake as it stayed wrapped around his neck.

Sighing, Whitman patted her legs in his lap and adjusted the blanket over them both before starting to undo the lock on the side of the journal. Focused eyes darted over the first page with ancient runes painted in black ink, "My mind—I can't think straight"

"Memento mori" Theo muttered the Latin fluidly.

"What?" Draco and Whitman spoke in sync.

"The symbolic reminder of the inevitability of death" Theo looked over at them tiredly, "The code—that's the code to make the runes disappear and show the table of contents she made"

"Oh" Whitman mumbled before running his fingers down the page of runes, "Memento Mori"

Slowly the runes began shifting, ink fading away like rippling water as words began fading in from the top all the way down to the bottom.

In Latin, of course.

"Fuck sake" Whitman breathed out, starting to flip through the pages full of drawings of different poisons with a million numbers and words in Latin scribbled around, clear instructions on how to make each. "I can't" He peered up at the boys, "I can read Latin but this isn't basic Latin and my brain is too messed up for this"

Whitman tilted his head at Theo, "You still write in your journal in Latin—can you find it?"

"No I write in English" Theo deadpanned before reaching up and taking the journal away, sluggishly flipping through the pages as he lounged back in the chair.

Whitman blinked, "Since when? You always use Latin for writing in—"

"He's being sarcastic Whit" Draco stated plainly.

Theo looked up long enough to shoot Whitman a sarcastic smile before resuming his flipping of pages. "She's a grade A genius if you really think about it, using a dead language to hide her craft in an easily accessible journal. I mean all of these poisons have different results, whether you want it to appear as if the victim has had a heart attack or been burned and so on...it's purely maniacal intelligence to be capable of such things"

"Not to mention she made them herself" says Draco, a distant rumble in his tone with admiration. He would never understand the boys ability to say his thoughts aloud with such ease.

"I often find myself very much aware that she is the most beautiful human being to walk this earth but that is not what truly enraptured me" Theo paused as he found exactly what he was looking for, eyes staying focused on the page. "What did that poet say? To fall in love with one's brain is the truest form of unyielding love?"

"I think you made that one up Theo" Whitman muttered with a twitch to his lips, "Not some random poet"

"I did, didn't I?" Theo smiled to himself as he slid Nyx off his neck and placed her by Rose, standing up shortly after and putting the journal on Whitman's lap. He nodded at Draco, signaling the blonde to get up as well. "Whit I need you to unfog your brain so you can read this page—Draco you too. You are both well versed in Latin and I'm not reading you the whole damn thing aloud"

"Is this the undetectable one?" asks Draco, hovering on the opposite side of Whitman with curious eyes.

Theo began pointing at the top of the page, "Mhm—as we know she has every measurement and ingredient listed that we'll need so I'll copy this page down tonight then one of us can return the book immediately after"

"I believe Draco should make the potion," Whitman mumbled as he studied the words, "It pains me to admit he's as grand at the art as Ro"

"I'll act like I didn't hear the beginning of that sentence" Draco rolled his eyes and looked over at the two, "We just need to plan before she wakes up—I can make the potion at my manor"

"We can't let Blaise in on this," Theo whispered lowly, "He's not capable of murder"

"I know" Draco nodded, biting down on his lip in contemplation before speaking again. "Rosie said Walburga is going to be gone most of the summer—so we can do it at the end"

"We can't let her find the body," Whitman shook his head, "Finding Orion hung was so traumatizing for her"

"Okay okay" Theo shifted, "We get Ro out of the house. Either Blaise or Hermione or Luna or someone can take her"

"Blaise is our best option, we can suggest he should take her for a spa day or something" Draco mumbled as his mind raced, "The others will ask too many questions if we are speaking to them—he'll just think we want her to go relax"

"And you two can come over to Grimmauld around afternoon, I'll tell Walburga we're just hanging out like normal" Whitman added on, all of their brains piecing the plan together perfectly. "We can say we have some stuff to tell her and I'll offer to make tea"

"So you'll slip the posion in her cup" Draco tapped the page where it said how long it took to work, "Then we'll wait for her to stop choking and completely die—take her to Saint Mungos after as if we just walked in and found her"

Theo clicked his tongue, "And that's when we'll go get Rose and Blaise and tell them something's happened"

"Simple enough," Whitman shared looks with the boys, "Let's kill that bitch"

In a twisted since to know they were ultimately protecting Rose, Draco's lips twitched. "We have some time on our hands—I'll make the most of it and try perfecting the potion"

"Listen," Theo began, placing a hand in Whitman's shoulder. "This is going to be really hard for Ro but at the end of the day we're saving her, okay? She can't ever know we did this though and regardless of how much we hate Walburga we have to be sympathetic when it happens"

"Yeah"

"We know"

"Okay then, I need some ink and parchment" Theo backed away, picking up the bag Whitman brought from the floor. "Maybe a way to jump into the future so we can knock that hag down now"

Laughing dryly and curtly, Whitman pushed Theo's hands off the bag and pulled out pages parchment. "Write quickly—who knows when she's going to wake up"

With that, Theo hummed and settled himself back into the chair, muttering a thank you to Whitman for bringing a quick notes quill.

Before they knew it, they went from planning Walburga's death after a week of Rose laying in a hospital bed to suddenly two weeks exactly passing of her eyes never opening. The mediwitches were constantly being reassuring, promising it was normal and everything would be fine. That did nothing of course to calm the break downs and panic attacks, endless swirling of horrified thoughts.

Blaise had managed to drug everyone a few more times, but today Theo realized his plan in time to avoid the substance. He felt hopeless and never more desperate to hear the sound of someone's voice as the moon reflected in, Draco snoring quietly in his chair and Whitman in the same condition next to him. Earlier Blaise had sighed when he watched the two fall fast asleep only for Theo to stay sitting up with dark rings around his gaze, making it clear he had not gotten any of the dousage. So Blaise simply placed a blanket over Theo's shoulders before taking his own potion and going back to the couch.

It was around midnight now, Theo's hazy eyes drifting from the moon back to her face. He understood how everyone felt, but no one understood how he felt. She wasn't just someone he was in love with, she was his best friend and apart of his soul—they had always talked about how much of a rarity it was to be seen so easily by another.

"I miss you" He whispered hoarsely, eyes opening wide as her mouth twitched.

Then, her lips parted, a minuscule cough leaving.

Breathlessly, he sat up straight, touching her chin like one would handle a thin sheet of glass. "Ro?"

Rose gulped, eyes attempting to open but failing with weak tries. Even though she was on her side facing him, she turned her head up to the ceiling slightly.

She gulped with another small cough, eyes finally fluttering open. The feeling of Theo's warm fingers sliding into her own freezing ones, contrasting temperatures making her exhale shakily.

"What?" She mumbled hoarsely with confusion, throat dry from the lack of fluids coating her throat. It settled in quickly that she was in Saint Mungos, the carvings of the ceilings all too familiar, her head turning back to a teary eyed Theo as she weakly grasped her throat.

"I'll get you some—some water" He whispered shakily, scared to squeeze her hand in fear she would crumble.

"No" She tugged on his fingers desperately with the raspy tone he had ever heard, shifting closer to the edge of the bed with chapped lips. "What happened?"

"You fainted in the library love," He struggled out, watching her eyes dart over his face.

"And how....long have I been asleep?" She mumbled.

Theo tightened his jaw to force the tears not to spill out, "Two weeks" His voice cracked.

Her breath hitched with a frown forming, that small pout she would make at him when scraping her toe while he bandaged her as a kid was now staring back at him with so—so much more pain behind it.

Gut wrenching and unbridling sadness took her over, water coating her gaze as he witnessed her eyes close. She made a small sound, and when she looked back at him he fought the urge to wipe away the droplets of water clinging to her eyelashes.

"I'm sorry," She murmured brokenly.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for baby," Theo promised with a rugged tone, scooting impossibly close to her face as his thumb slid under her right eye.

"I've ruined your fucking life" Rose whimpered, too many built up emotions spilling out at once and too delusional from the potions pumping into her veins.

"Ruined—" He spoke the word in shock, grasping onto her cheeks as she started shaking her head with tears pouring out. He gently forced her to still, "You have made my existence a million times better by simply letting me breath by you"

"I'm sorry....I'm sorry I did this to you again after I promised not to," She cried, really cried. "I know it has to be so fucking hard loving me and I know you'd be so much better off—"

"You listen to me," Theo affirmed and wiped his eyes frustratedly with one hand, he didn't think he should be allowed to cry right then. Instead, he grasped her face once more, wiping her tears each time they fell as she breathed unevenly. "When you need me I'm going to be right here, I'll never leave you and I'll never give up on you no matter happens. Rosalie Black, do you understand me? You can keep trying to push me away and believing maybe I'll finally go but that will never ever happen."

With pursed lips and a broken crack, "But Theo—"

"If some higher power came down right now and gave me every reason in the book to abandon you, I would not give a single care. You are the only reason I ever need to stay, okay?" Theo gulped as he spoke, sure his jaw would break if he held it any tighter to hold the emotions back. "You are worth it and you always are going to be. You're my universe and I can promise that each time you fall I'm going to be right there to pick you back up no matter how much you hate it"

If anything his words made her cry more, but in a different way. Not understanding and unbelieving that she could ever deserve for someone to love her so passionately. Sometimes she thought the darkness was swallowing her whole, then there would be this burst of light and a hand reaching out, his hand—pulling her out every time.

Theo bent down, pressing a long kiss the side of her head not laying against the pillow, tilting her chin up to him after as she met the eyes of a broken man who knew he didn't have to hide his pain from her. "I love you—" his voice cracked, "I'm sorry that word is not grand enough"

Her hands shook as she reached up to grab his face, pulling his forehead against hers as his tears hit her cheeks. She moved up and brushed their lips, Theo taking another unsteady breath just as her mouth pressed against his. It wasn't a kiss to break their tension or to ask him to take off his clothes or anything in that direction. No, it was one to communicate words she couldn't say as their salty tesrs mixed together and their chapped lips pressed against one another.

I love you.
I'm grateful for you.
I don't deserve you.
You mean more to me than anything.
I don't think anyone is capable of loving someone as much as I love you.

And so much more.

Rose pulled back slightly, mumbling against his lips as her eyes fluttered open to see just how much he was holding back. "Will you just hold me? I'm—I think the meds are going to make me fall asleep again"

Theo swallowed the lump in his throat and moved back, stopping her as she attempted to lift up, his arms wrapping around her as he kicked off his shoes and slid into the bed, easily pulling her against his chest as he stayed sitting up.

Rose peered up at him with grogginess, "You don't have to be okay Teddy. You don't have to act that way all the time. It's okay to not be...okay"

Those words, someone like him needed to be reminded of that. Always kept together, always keeping everyone else afloat. Rose was the one to force him into letting go, make him see he didn't have to always put on a show for the world. He was safe there with her and there would be no judgement, just understanding.

It was quite fitting, wasn't it? Theo holding her up like he did in every aspect of life.

"I love you" She mumbled, her face tucking into his chest as the waves of potions lulled her eyes close and his body trembled with restiant to not break into a million pieces.

But he failed.

The ocean of tears breaking free and she felt herself being pulled tighter into the pure warmth that Theo radiated. She heard his comforting voice saying words to reassure her that she couldn't quite make out but knew they were more loving than anything as she leaned against him, his tears hitting her face as his body continued trembling with emotion. She listened in with a few tears of her own leaving until suddenly the sound was gone and sleep had taken her away from him. Leaving Theo with nothing but water rolling down his cheeks as he scattered into a million pieces all over again, letting the fact he had her wrapped in his arms be the glue.

*

The next morning Rose groggily opened her eyes to the piercing light of the day, very much aware of still being laid against Theo's chest and his strong arms holding her as if she would slip away. The faint sound of shushing filled her ears, looking up to see Theo glaring to the left. She follow his gaze to find Whitman hovering over her with soft but saddened eyes, then she looked to the right to see Blaise who was staring at her like a ghost—before she could dare to look next to him her eyes close with a searing pain in her throat.

"Water" she croaks with attempts to move, Theo took notice, helping her sit up and use his chest for support in which he received a grateful murmur as she crashed back against him.

"Here" came the gruff voice of Draco Malfoy, his regulated breathing hitching as she finally looked at him with his hand outstretching a glass.

His lips are chapped, rings of blue hues around his eyes and for a second she feels okay. He is just as broken as she is, just as tormented and despaired.

She shakily reached for the water, unable to get a firm enough grip and too distracted to the point where the glass almost slipped. But then came Draco's hand wrapping around her own as he pursed his lips tightly with the knowledge he couldn't speak much, giving her a nod to signal he had her.

Usually she would've protested and protested the help until the glass shattered on the ground, but her limbs were weak and her mind was scattered. So with the utmost carefulness Draco helped her guide the glass to her lips, Rose's gaze slipping away as the refreshing icy water hit her throat.

She desperately needed more, the blonde's eyes growing as she kept going and started tilting the glass upwards until every drop was gone.

She pushed the empty glass away after, Draco pulling it back and Rose going limp against Theo as she swiped a shaky hand over her face that caused Draco's gut to drop.

He knew it would sound insane to anyone else, maybe they would even tell him he payed too much attention but Rose always had the most steady hands he had ever witnessed even if she was sobbing on the bathroom floor. To see them shake so badly was a reminder that though the most monstrous men couldn't break her, she could break herself.

Rose took a deep breath and peered up at Theo before gazing around at them all, realizing they each looked like they had been dragged through the pits of a fiery hell.

"The whole lot of you looks like shit" She huffed tiredly.

Breathy laughs rung out, not only relieved to have their missing piece back but to have her still intact with the same personality.

Whitman grasped her wrist, feeling pathetic as his eyes welled up. "Hey Ro"

"Hey Whit" she smiled with half lidded eyes, giving him a flashback of a year ago except this time he wasn't having to watch a breathing tube leave her throat. She reached up to her face, touching the clear cord pumping air into her nose. "Fuck sake—" She started tugging on it angrily, "Why are they always hooking me up to machines?!"

Theo covered her hand with his own, preventing her from pulling out the oxygen system. "Don't you dare"

Rose grumbled and yanked her hand away from his, sliding fingers down her stomach at an uncomfortable pinch there.

Oh no.

Not again.

"Whit," Rose rasped as she came to realize they had put a catheter bag on her body, which meant there was currently a tube inside her bladder. "I need to go to the bathroom—right now"

Three voices shot out at once, "I can take you"

"No!" She interrupted quickly, using Theo's thigh to sit up fully. "Whit always does it"

"Uh oh" Blaise teased nervously, trying to lighten her mood to ease the nerves he had that she would be angry with him when she woke up. "Time for Whit to empty the pee bag"

Draco narrowed his tired eyes, "That's not funny Blaise—it's painful"

"Hey! I'm trying to make her feel better" Blaise scoffed and lifted his chin as suddenly Theo was helping her slid off the bed, Draco circling around next to Whitman with his hand reaching out to hold her and provide balance.

Wobbling, her feet hit the floor, taking the hand not holding onto Draco and grabbing Whitman as her head hung.

"That was a lot of work" She breathed out before letting Whitman bend down and slip an arm under her shoulders. "You're getting a little tall for this"

"Don't you dare drop her Whit" Theo scolded.

"Are you sure—" Draco's words ran off as Rose shot him glare.

Draco sighed and let her go with reluctance, forcing them to pause as he pulled on the oxygen tank. "We do need to take off the breathing tube first"

Whitman nodded, slipping his hands onto her waist and pushing her hips against the bed as he reached up and carefully began pulling the clear tube out of her nose, circling it around her head before tossing it onto the bed.

"I got you love," he breathed out, wrapping his arm back around her waist, ignoring the burning stare the boys were giving by watching their every move.

"I'm sorry" Rose mumbled, angry at the idea she couldn't manage to walk alone.

"Don't" Whitman struggled out from their contrasting heights as they neared the bathroom.

His ring clad hand reached for the golden doorknob, swinging it open and pulling her inside with him.

She didn't know what to say or do, only feeling awful for putting him in this situation.

Another person she let down.

"This is going to be disgusting," Rose huffed with hope to not break down again, placing her hand on the bricked wall by the toilet as she pushed off his arm.

He grabbed onto her hip, attempting to not stare at her shaking legs. "I've cleaned throw up from your mouth—I don't mind these bags"

"Still nasty" she muttered, wishing he would meet her eyes. "I would be sick if I had to do this for someone"

"I like taking care of you love" he promised and fiddled with the hem of the gown, "Is it okay if I pull this up?"

"Gloves first Whit"

How could he forget? It wasn't even close to the first time he had done this. He reached over by the wall, his long arms giving him an advantage as he yanked two pairs of white gloves from the open book hung up.

"Can I let go for—"

"It's fine!" She scoffed without meaning to, shaking her head with a mutter of 'sorry'.

Whitman let go of her before slipping the rubber gloves on, gentle grasping back onto the hem of the gown. "Have you already—you know?"

"All I know is it's full and the tube is hurting like a fucking dagger pierced my skin"

"I'll be gentle" he promised and started lifting up the gown, Rose's hand that wasn't pressed against the wall reaching down to hold the material up to her chest. She grimaced at the sight of the bag and her swollen red skin where the tube was sticking into her stomach.

"Fuck" she gritted and bit down on her lip as his fingers lightly grazed around where the tube was sunk in. "It hurts Whit—really badly"

"I'll get them to numb it and take this thing out as soon as we finish" he had to whisper, unable to speak loudly as his throat closed at her bulging ribs, respectfully he kept his focus on the situation at hand. His trembling fingers reached for the bottom of the bag as she shifted closer to the toilet, twisting the black cap off, Rose yanking his head up as it started to drain into the water.

"At least I know you love me" She quipped with watery eyes.

Her fingers loosened in his hair, praising her ancestors as he finally looked in her eyes. "I love you more than anything Ro"

"It would almost be sweet if you weren't emptying a pee bag in the hospital" She laughed sadly.

His lips moved up, head shaking.

When he was sure it was completely drained, he screwed the cap back into place and she let the gown fall back down. He looked her over to assure she was fine before moving to toss the gloves in the trash by the toilet, Rose crossing over to the sink and grasping onto the tile.

She looked at her reflection, sunken in and dark, appearing as a haunting image of a young girl. Walburga would surely be there soon and she found herself realizing how desperately she wished for the woman to be there when she awoke.

But that wasn't logical.

Her head hug forward with a shaky exhale, self hatred, self disgust—it was all the same.

A warm hand slid onto her bony spine, muttering words. "I know"

"I'm sorry" she mumbled incoherently, "I know no one understands but—but I can't stop. And I hate how you all must feel or what you see when you look at me. I don't think I even want to be a person anymore if this is my life"

"The world might not get it but I do" Whitman reassured as he pulled her into his chest, lips pressing down on her head and he was aware of his voice giving away the sadness he felt.

Her eyes brimmed with emotion, face pushing against the soft sweater over his body before she looked up. It hurt to see her in any form of pain but at least now she was looking back at him, "I..I know I messed everything up again. I just want you to know that I'm still me—that you still see me clearly"

He nodded with tight lips as two big, soppy tears rolled from his eyes, shaking hands grabbing onto her. "You didn't mess up anything" he says quietly, letting their foreheads go together. "I see you as clearly as I did yesterday, the day before that, and every other moment of our lives"

"I love you more than anything too" she sniffled, letting her eyes fall close. "I didn't get to say that earlier"

"You don't have to say it," Whitman murmured with a uneven tone, "I know"

Some time moved by of them staying there in that bathroom, being okay with just existing together and crying in a way they didn't want everyone to witness. Rose didn't wish to tell him or anyone for that matter but sometimes when people were so very gentle with her—it became a reminder that she was a responsibility.

By the time they left, a group of mediwitches were already waiting in the room and rushing over to take her away with relieved smiles to see her up and moving.

The boys were all instructed over to the couch and a privacy curtain which was attached to metals poles was placed in front of the bed with a silencing charm, blocking them from knowing anything that was happening.

A full two hours went by before they were allowed to walk by the curtain to see her again, the breathing tube back in her nose and a grogginess in her gaze from the medicines being pumped back into her and almost relief as well—knowing she would have two more weeks until Saint Mungos allowed her back into the world.

"The papers," Rose croaked as she laid on her back on the pillows with the slightest incline, "They've been writing about me?"

The group of four shared a look that told her everything she need to know, a huff leaving.

"I wish I could suffer in solitude"

None had a chance to reply before the doors swung open with a resounding bang, the unmistakable sound of Walburga's heels clicking. One by one the boys tensed, Rose sighing heavily at what was to come.

Walburga stepped by the curtain with her hair falling down in beautiful ebony curls, sharp blue eyes scanning all of the ones surrounding the bed as she adjusted her dark pea coat and leather gloved hands tightened around a slim box.

"Out" she demanded.

"Please go" Rose cut in tiredly before anyone could protest, "I want to see her"

"You heard Rosalie," Walburga waved them off pompously, "Get away"

Theo's jaw clenched as he brushed by briskly, Whitman following after him as Blaise tugged Draco away. Walburga laughed to herself at all of the hatred swimming in their eyes as they left, she would've casted a silencing charm but she could feel one had already been placed.

"I brought you something from Milan, mí amore" Walburga crossed over, sitting on the edge of the bed with perfected posture. "I know that oxygen tank is bothering you but Demair said it should be taken away in a few days along with the catheter"

The endless cycle began, gifts instead of apologies.

Walburga held the box out as Rose simply stared at her, fingers pulling the lid off to reveal a necklace covered in so many diamonds Rose had to blink as the sun hit it, lined with rubies dropping down like droplets of water.

"Beautiful, wouldn't you say? Had blessed at the Hecate altar in Italy—perfect fit for you chère"

"Thanks" Rose mumbled as her lip began to tremble, wondering why her grandmother couldn't simply handle the issue at hand.

Huffing, Walburga closed the box and set it aside before her fingers moved across Rose's chin. "Why must you cry? Everything is fine. I am quite disappointed that you landed yourself here but that is no matter—"

"I'm never going to be enough for you, am I?" Rose weeped as a knife pierced her heart, one Walburga metaphorically held.

"I've loved you for a long time and I will not be told different on the subject. The only reason I ever ever used any dark curses on you is because I failed Regulus and Sirius, I must admit" Walburga tilted her head to the side, letting the leather of her gloves run over Rose's jutting cheekbones but not bothering to wipe the young girls tears away. "Despite what you may believe I wanted to make you strong—emotion my love will destroy you and you know that. I did to you as my mother did to me, I was never hard enough on the boys....when I got to take you in it was a chance to make things right"

Rose furrowed her brows, feeling so small under the gaze of the woman. "That's...that can't be love"

Walburga shook her head and for a moment Rose almost saw a glimpse of humility, "Look at you Rosalie. The strongest, smartest witch of her age shriveling up in a bed at the age of sixteen. What happened to you? To the little girl who was unstoppable?"

"You want to know what happened to me?" Rose asks breathlessly, pushing Walburga's hand away as her voice cracked. "You—you are what happened to me"

A disgusted look crossed Walburga's face as she took note of the collarbones poking through the hospital gown as Rose closed her eyes and cried silently, appearing to hate the scars marking Rose's chest and arms as if she wasn't the reason they existed.

The youngest Black wasn't sure Walburga did truly see the error of her ways—maybe the woman really did believe this was love and devotion. Rose never got the chance to escape like her father did, and she didn't want to either. So as one would, she kept getting worse—becoming accommodated to the dark everyday and it was clear to anyone that darkness was consuming her from the inside out. It evoked fear in her to know she was bound down the same road Regulus, and what was even worse was the idea that if somehow she did manage to have kids in the future she would be like Walburga. The woman was once a child too, experiencing the things she did by the hand of a mother and then turning around and doing it to her own children. That new knowledge was too much for Rose to handle, vowing right then and there to never even give herself the chance to. Was it true? Did the abused become the abuser? That was an awful thought and even more so when she contemplated the pity she suddenly felt for her grandmother.

And pity for the ones that loved her, using all their light to burn for someone only ever made for darkness.

Walburga shushed Rose and tugged on her chin, "You must stop crying! You have always felt too much or too little—there is no in between with you....will it ease your nerves to know I have a plan to help you stay perfect and not end yourself in places like this? I want you to be okay!"

No.

It terrified her.

"Please—" Rose whimpered as she opened her eyes, "Just give me a minute alone"

"It annoys me you ask for such after I spent two weeks alone but I will grant your wish" Walburga spat and stood up frustratedly, glancing over at Rose as she flattened her coat out. "Dry your eyes by the time I get back mí amore—I'll go to Grimmauld and grab Kreacher to help you feel better"

She shriveled up like a plant and turned away on her side, trying to keep her lips sealed so the sound of her crying wouldn't further anger the woman.

Thankfully she retreated quickly and Draco moved faster than anyone had ever seen him do so, announcing to them only one should check on her at first.

He moved by the curtain and began speaking in the process, "I thought one of us should come first so we don't overwhelm you—" his words ran off at the sight of her quietly crying as she hugged the pillow.

His voice flipped to that of a firm one as he reached for her face, "Hey...hey—I'm here"

"I can't do it" she pleaded, worn out in every way a human could be. "I'm never going to get better with her alive she...she has more plans and—"

He acted on instinct, his lips pressing to her forehead as he bent down, trailing his lips downward as he mumbled each word. "I'm going to take care of it Rosie....I'm going to take care of it all"

Her breath hitched, big round eyes looking up at him as lips pressed to her chin, "You....are?"

"I promise—you don't know what I would do for you" Draco murmurs, brushing back her hair and crouching by the bed as he kept a hand on her cheek.

Sniffling and gulping, Rose slowly placed her hand over his. "Do you—"

"You can tell me Rosie"

She pulled him toward the bed, forcing the blonde to shuffle under the blanket with her and wrap her up in his arms much like Theo had done the night before.

"Do you remember how Walburga used to always remind me I was a visitor in her home?"

"I do" he nodded while pulling Rose up against his chest.

"You know when we're little I used to cry so much and no one understood or sympathized with me. My emotions were too big for my little body and I never knew why things affected me so deeply" Rose shakily breathed as he started carefully wiping her face off, "But you, Draco, you always understood"

At his silence she continued, "You'd come in my room and you'd tell me it was okay and even if Walburga didn't think I was anything other than visitor in her home—my home could be in you"

"I remember it all" His lips pursed at the memory, "You asked me how long you could live in me"

"You said forever" Rose murmured with a gulp.

"And I meant it too" He promised quickly before weaving his fingers through her hair and pulling her face against his chest, "Forever, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

He exhaled shakily in relief, holding her tightly and with the knowledge that if she tried to move he wouldn't let her, his face burying in her hair as he felt her heart beat against his own. There really was a thin line between love and hate, often he loathed himself for caring so passionately about another human—but not then. He suddenly felt as if he could take on the world, if someone would've have put him under truth serum and asked his real opinion on her, it would be a simple answer that he could say about no one else.

Her love never made me feel small.

That was something he could not deny to himself.

He held onto her for a long time, so long that he didn't realize thirty minutes had passed. Rose was sure she had to have ruined his posh sweater from the amount of tears running through the fabric but Draco reassured her that he would buy a million more—which ended with him pulling a real laugh out of the girl as she began teasing him over his own tears.

*

An hour passed before Theo impatiently stood up from the couch, "We gave him a fucking hour—come on"

The scene that awaited them was quite different than what they prepared for, all assuming the two would be having some emotional moment.

Instead the bed had been inclined up, Draco happily tucked under the blanket with Rose lounging against his chest, the blonde raising his eyebrows as a smiling Rose pointed at something on the page of the book in her hand.

Draco's eyes moved up to the boys, "What took you all so long?"

Theo blinked before smiling in relief at her happiness, "We thought you both would be busy sobbing"

"No actually" Draco shrugged as the arm he held around her stomach tightened, "Rosie wanted to finish her book and let me read it with her—it's quite scandalous"

Rose flashed the floral cover to Theo, his eyes lighting up with recognition before laughter fell out, his hands dropping onto the edge of the mattress with a shake of his head in disbelief.

"Only you would wake up from a two week coma and read that"

Blaise hopped onto the foot of the bed, receiving a kick from Draco as the boy sat on his foot. "What is it?"

Whitman joined Theo's laughter as he realized, "You're better off not knowing"

"She's reading one of her smutty little books" Theo's lips curled up.

"What does that mean?" Blaise asks, eyebrows pinching together at the unfamiliar word.

"Sex Blaise, this book has descriptive sex scenes" Rose deadpanned.

"Oh...."

Draco joined in with a teasing voice, "Suppose this is where she's learning her tricks?"

Theo tilted his head, studying her features before clicking his tongue. "I think you might be right Draco"

Rose gaze up at Draco, turning to Theo after. "Neither of seemed to protest about my little tricks"

Whitman gasped and Blaise's mouth fell open, Draco and Theo both instantly staring at each other with pure unbridled shock.

Theo began with sudden anger, finger pointing at Draco "You—"

"No you!" Draco shot back with the same accusatory finger pointed, thinking of a million ways to murder his best friend.

"No fighting while I'm in the hospital" Rose says as she opens her book back up, faking a dramatic cough.

"Why would you tell them that?!" Blaise yelped in fear as the two boys turned to stare at him.

"They needed to be humbled" she shrugged, lips moving up as Draco and Theo started shouting at each other, a sigh of happiness leaving her as she focused on the words written across the page.

________________________________

A/N: this whole chapter was just everyone sobbing LOL i feel so bad that they cried the whole time and you had to read that but IT WAS WHAT WAS HAPPENING OKAY? I CANT HELP THEY WERE EMOTIONAL....it feels a little messy because it was supposed to be split into two

—do you forgive me since i gave you a funny moment at the end?

—IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG IT WAS JUST SO SAD THE WHOLE TIME BUT SUMMER IS ABOUT TO BE SOOO GOOODD I PINKY

—you know my favorite thing abt them being childhood best friends?! SO MANY MEMORIES AND SO MUCH HISTORY

—i missed u guys SO MUCH fr

—i don't have much to say so let's just enjoy some memes

MEMES TO CURE YOU:

the boys waiting outside of the room:

the boys when Draco finally snapped:

Draco to Walburga and Abraxas and Lucius:

Narcissa after telling the boys to kill Walburga:

When they started recalling memories:

this whole chapter in a nutshell:

me trying to pretend the reason this took me so long isn't because I cried every time I tried to write:

the big three planning out the death of Walburga:

when Theo finally got to cry while holding her:

you all realizing Rose reads smut like the rest of us:

xx bri