They wrapped up their week in the Hamptons, and headed back to the city, where Leo started pre-school. Mouse felt a real pang letting go of his small hand, seeing him turn and wave, and watching the huge doors swallow him up. His new school clothes looked a little bit big on him, too, making him look extra young, to her eyes.

Next to her, Henry took a deep breath, and she could tell, just from how it sounded, that he was close to tears himself. Before she knew it, she'd taken a step closer to him, and they were hugging. Mouse put her palms on his shoulder blades, snuggling into him, reveling in the feel of his arms around her. She sniffed, and inhaled the scent of Henry, his aftershave, deodorant, and the fabric softener that lingered on his clothes.

Henry, too, was enjoying the unexpected contact. He lowered his head, burying his nose in Mouse's soft brown hair as he wrapped his arms firmly around her. He held her without moving for a few, precious seconds before he let out a laughing breath. "Can you imagine how this feels when the kid has to go off to college?" he asked rhetorically. He felt her shake her head.

"Or war?" she replied, her voice muffled by his front. She felt him shudder.

"God, perish the thought," Henry said. He finally let go of Mouse, reluctantly releasing her as he took another deep breath. 

They turned and started walking back toward home. It wasn't cold, not even close, but there was a briskness to the air that hadn't been there even a week ago, when they left for Long Island.

"You know," Mouse began. "We haven't talked about money." As usual, she felt awkward to broach the topic.

"Oh?" Henry smiled as they walked. "Do you need more? You should've said something sooner, last night. I'm in meetings all day, I won't have time to do anything until tonight--"

"No," Mouse interrupted. "I'm not doing as much as before. Leo's in school for six hours a day, so I assumed I'd get paid less, you know?" They stopped at a light.

Henry looked at Mouse in surprise. "You're not going to get very far in New York City with that attitude, young lady," he scolded with a laugh. "Never ask for less, don't you know that?"

"Henry, of course I'm going to get paid less, Leo's gone for most of the day," Mouse replied. "I assumed we'd talk about some kind of hourly rate or something."

"Mouse, do you need less money?" Henry asked. He looked at her teasingly as they walked along. "For school fees, books, all that good stuff?"

"Of course not!" Mouse rolled her eyes. "But I can't expect to get paid the same for doing less, right? I mean, that's not fair, is it?"

"Oh my god," Henry finally said, exasperated. He stopped walking. "Look. I have quite a bit of money. Not like our rock star neighbor, Pete Santangelo, who lives in the penthouse, but I do okay, you know? And it's honestly not worth the bother to redo everything because you're having an attack of conscience or whatever." He put his hands on Mouse's shoulders, blue eyes locking on her brown ones, full of mirth. "I will if you make me, but honestly, I'd rather not. All right?"

"All right," Mouse said in a small voice. They continued walking. "Thank you, Henry."

"My pleasure," he responded with a chuckle.

They parted in front of their building, as Henry headed off to work, and Mouse went back upstairs. She actually had a week off, since school didn't start until the end of September this year. So she washed some clothes, did some shopping, then went to pick up Leo from school.

He came running out, bursting to tell her about his first day. He had artwork, and permission slips for a field trip to the Museum of Natural History and Radio City Music Hall. How wonderful to go to school in New York City, Mouse reflected.

"Did you miss me, Mouse?" he asked as he held her hand, skipping along. 

"I did," she admitted. "I had to run my errands all alone today. Raphael at the market missed you, too."

"He did?" Leo asked, looking up at her, grinning. "Did you pick good fruit? Even though I wasn't there to help?"

" I did my best, and Raphael helped," Mouse told him, swinging his hand. "And I bought stuff for us so we could make dinner together, and surprise your daddy, okay?"

Leo nodded happily, and Mouse was glad that she would have him in her life for the foreseeable future.

****************

The following week, Mouse had an appointment at the NYU health center, for her annual check up. She told her clinician about her miscarriage, and she also asked to be put on birth control. She had decided that she wasn't going to depend on someone else for birth control in the future if she could avoid it, and the pill seemed like a good beginning. She would try it, and if it didn't agree with her, she would move on to shots, or IUDs. But this was a start.

Her clinician, Alicia, agreed with her, saying that being proactive was always a good thing.

"We'll start you out on a low dose pill, and see how you feel," she suggested. "There are many different kinds we can try, so let's see which work best with your body, have the fewest side effects and all that good stuff, okay?"

Mouse agreed, and left the clinic feeling better than she had in a long time about life in general. She reflected that she had really just kind of let life happen to her for too long, drifting along like so much flotsam and jetsam, not keeping her hand on the tiller of her life or whatever.

She had lunch with Travis, and talked to him about it.

"You're on birth control?" he asked. "Does this mean you're thinking about having sex with someone?" He looked at her over his sandwich as he took a bite. He had been very, very nice and thoughtful about not asking Mouse the details surrounding her miscarriage, but she knew he was very curious.

Mouse shook her head decisively. "It just means I'm not leaving things up to chance so much anymore." She put a hand on his arm. "You've been so kind about not pushing me, and I'm sorry about not telling you things that you deserve to know."

"Is it Oskar?" Travis asked. "Because I like him, I want you to know. We got to be pretty good friends during the week he was here. He's a good guy."

"He is," Mouse agreed. "And no, it's not Oskar, either."

"I know he came to see you hoping to start something," Travis said. "And I know you didn't shut him down. I know you're probably going to see him at Christmas, and I know he's still hopeful about you."

"Well, I guess I don't need to tell you anything, then," Mouse said drily, taking a sip of her tea.

"No, no, I'm sorry, go ahead," Travis said with a laugh.

Mouse sighed. "What happened between Henry and me, it was--a one time thing, a spur of the moment thing," she finally said. "We used protection, and it failed. I had no idea I was pregnant, I had no idea I was having a miscarriage," she finished. Her chin quivered, and she waited a moment to make sure she wasn't going to cry before she continued. "That's all." She shrugged, looking at Travis steadily.

"And Oskar?" he asked.

"Oskar is a friend," Mouse responded.

"But he wants more," Travis reminded her. "You know he does. He told you that. He flew all the way over here just to tell you that."

"I know he thinks he does," Mouse said. "I still can't believe that, to tell you the truth."

"Why?" Travis asked. "Why can't you understand how really awesome you are?" He grasped her hand. "Why can't you understand how someone could want you, how someone could want to love you?" 

"And we're not talking about Oskar anymore, are we?" Mouse asked, her voice soft.

Travis shook his head, not releasing her hand.

"Travis, you're so great, and I love you, but what you're asking for is never going to happen," Mouse said. Her brown eyes were filled with regret. "I hope you don't think I've kept you around under false pretenses, because I never meant to--"

Travis shook his head. "No, I've never felt that way," he assured her. "I love being your friend, I do. I'll never regret that." He kissed her hand.

"So, if not me, and if not Oskar, then why are you on birth control?" he asked, narrowing his blue eyes at her over the table.

"I told you," she said, pulling her hand from his. "It's about taking control, about not just going with the flow and letting my life happen to me--"

But Travis was shaking his head. "I know you, Mouse, and you don't do something for nebulous reasons like that. You always have a roadmap, a plan of action." He grinned at her. "I think Henry better watch out." He nodded. "That's what I think."

Mouse widened her eyes, staring at him. "What are you implying, Mr. Hall?"

"I'm implying nothing, Ms. Cameron, what are you inferring?" Travis answered, raising an eyebrow. He laughed, the laugh that Mouse loved. "Come on, Mouse, let's enjoy this nice day before we're stuck in classes, or before it starts to get all cold and nasty, what do you say?"

"I say that sounds like a plan," Mouse said, linking an arm through his as they left the restaurant.