I said I didn't need Reid's help, but I lied. Derek is dancing with Penelope to the Christmas music, bobbing together. JJ and Prentiss have just returned with the food, and I've got absolutely no clue as my Secret Santa's identity. Penelope's gift is ready and wrapped. We all use the same discrete brown bags, upping the competition from previous years. Everyone prints out the names on slips, using plain fonts. I've got absolutely no idea who has me.

When I turn my back to the gift table, I try to survey the crowd. I don't know how the profilers do it. They can see things that I can't. My eyes see nothing special when I look at Hotch helping set up the plates. Maybe it's because I have experience looking over the terrible papers of first year university students, but I'm intimately aware that people can misinterpret data to prove their own point.

Maybe Hotch is setting up the plates because he has an innate desire to please others. Maybe he's just helpful. Maybe Hotch sets the table because his parents were cruel to him if he didn't do chores, or maybe they instilled in him a sense of duty. An actual profiler might be able to make heads or tails of it. When I look at Hotch, I don't see what they see.

My gaze turns to Rossi. He is smiling, standing with Reid. I'm sure he's rattling off something to Rossi. Probably about one of Rossi's books. Reid's always been more interested in the one he loaned to me. We've talked together about Rossi's different books during lunch. Estelle thinks it's silly, all of it, and I suppose I should too, but Reid doesn't.

"Are we all ready?" Hotch asks, the plates properly placed for everyone to use.

Then, we all sit together. I try to act as a profiler, engaging in the conversation as much as I can. My siblings are coming down to visit me for Christmas this year. No, my sister isn't single, Morgan. Other people are flying to different parts of the country. Most of us should be back in time for New Year's Eve. The same group are going that went last year; neither Rossi nor Hotch will come with us. The whole conversation, I'm looking for glances, for more questions toward me than usual, and nothing is different.

Reid asks me more questions than anyone else, but that isn't unusual. I'm closer to him than anyone else.

We draw lots to guess who has who this year. Unlike last time, when I had a bit of a buffer period, I am up first. I look around the circle, blindly.

"Rossi," I decide, "and I think it's him since he was really chatty with me at the pub a few weeks ago. I think he was fishing for a gift idea."

Still not good at bullshitting, just like last year. Maybe that should be my New Year's Resolution. At the very least, that could be one of them. Reid had twelve resolutions last year.

We go around in a circle. Penelope guesses Morgan, so I feel like I'm in the clear. Prentiss guesses Rossi though, so I'm as equally screwed as Garcia. Just like last year, we get to open the gifts and then offer a new guess.

When I pull out the tissue paper from within the brown bag, I screw my jaw shut tight. Inside the bag is a children's toy. Specifically, a beginner magic set. I blink down at it, and now I know who gave me this gift.

"Any changes?" Hotch asks.

All eyes are on Penelope and I, so I assume everyone in the group knows we got our guesses wrong. Just across from me, she pulls out the sock monkey that's meant to be me. It's orange, bright like my hair, with light green buttons for the eyes. She laughs, holding it up for the others to see.

"These are absolutely ridiculous," Penelope smiles so wide, "I'm absolutely in love."

Only Reid hasn't been guessed, so by process of elimination he's mine. I wouldn't need to do that though. He's the only one who knew I used to do magic. I glance up at him. He blinks, no more of a grin on his face than usual.

"I have Reid," I tell them.

"Hope it's better than the mug he gave you," Morgan tries to peer over.

I snatch the brown bag shut, "barely. He's intent on humiliating me."

Everyone laughs, even Reid. I do too, just a bit. It feels weird, what he gave me. Some sort of private moment on display. I'm aware that we are close, but I hadn't considered how that closeness feels so intimate, so close to my chest. It feels like it's part of me that I've been able to hide beneath all the layers I've been wearing this winter.

Unlike Rossi, Reid's closeness hadn't tipped me off, because he's always so close to me. He's so interesting, and interested, and I don't know why, but it feels like my heart and soul is in this bag and not a magic set.

It's stupid. All of it is stupid.

Though it takes ages, we go home. I get the apartment ready for my siblings to visit. Estelle's family is flying her home, but if they weren't, I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't home anyway given her frequent departing schedule.

I tuck the magic kit under my bed, sticking it in a storage bin containing a collection of textbooks that I have kept over the years. My siblings won't go looking there.

Bastien isn't coming, so it's just Stéphane and Caro coming. And Cletus. Fucking Cletus, of course he is coming.

Christmas Eve, everyone arrives. Stéphane gets to my place first. His trip to see me is the shortest anyway. He finds a spot at the kitchen counter while I adjust the radio in the kitchen. A turkey is cooking in the oven already when he comes. I'm not sure that it's going to be any good. We will probably do Chinese takeout or something like that tomorrow.

After an hour of catching up, the conversation drifts to Bastien. Stéphane asks about his job, but this time I don't know where Bastien is stationed. We've been interviewed twice in the last year about our jobs, both Stéphane and me. He knows it's odd, that level of frequency, but I work in government, so I know it's exceptionally odd. Bastien switched to a new position after the summer, something related to intelligence.

Even Garcia might not be able to get that information for me.

Soon enough, we shift to Caro.

"Go easy on her," Stéphane warns me, waiting. "She's incredibly stressed out about the wedding."

"She hasn't decided on the date yet?" I ask.

Stéphane doesn't answer me. He grabs his whiskey. My heart thumps. The buzzer goes off, and I go to get it, but Stéphane decides to go meet them. He's out of the door with his boots on before we even think about it.

The three of them enter together, and I help Cletus move their stuff into Estelle's room. She gave me permission for them to share the bed, but I was hoping she'd say no so I could either prevent Cletus from coming or banish him to the floor.

"I never got your Save the Date," I say to him in Estelle's bedroom doorway, smiling.

Cletus pats down his jacket, "don't have one on me. Caro said she'd talk to you about it."

I nod. That means there is a Save the Date. There is a time and place set for her wedding, one she hasn't called me to scream about over the phone. I offer him space to set up and return to the living room.

Only one day would leave her this quiet.

Caro, her cheeks rosy from the cold, still in her coat, is leaning in close to Stéphane. Her eyes are wide, her hair a static mess since she's taken off her toque. Her grip around the pompom is too tight.

"You should have told me before you came," I try not to scrunch my nose. "Now I'm in a rotten mood."

"It's the seventeenth," Caro manages. She closes her eyes, "Bastien promised he could get time off in May, and May is a busy month for weddings so I did what I could."

I try not to glare at her.

Stéphane tries to step between us, and we both sidestep him.

"Look, I'm not going to apologize for getting married when it's inconvenient for you," Caro stops talking. She sighs, "this isn't the way I wanted you to find out."

"I don't have a monopoly on May," I tell her. "What happened... well it was bad for all of us. It's worse for Stéphane, really. And you managed to tell him, didn't you?"

Her face falters. Stéphane tries to take a step closer to me, but I step back from him. The walls feel so tight now. I go to the door and slip on my shoes.

"Cole," Stéphane begins.

"I'm fine," I snap. I take in a deep breath. "I'm just going to stand on the balcony. Get fresh air. Can you watch the turkey?"

He nods, and so I do as I said I would. The air on it is cold, nearly frigid. I tuck my arms against my body tightly, trying my best to stop myself from shivering.

Caro's gift better be so awesome it makes up for this. Maybe even as good as a beginner magic set aimed at children ages eight to ten.

~~~~~

Barely any lines, but I feel Reid's fingerprints all over this chapter. Don't you? Next chapter is big. HUGE. Any predictions?