I don't need your help and I never will.

Cole Bouchard can keep her cool. Her biggest pet peeve is being observed. Having travelled around the world and back in an effort to observe without being seen, she is back in the US and still hiding herself from her siblings. Between them and her nosy but loving roommate, Cole knows she's going to explode.

It was a mistake to take a job with the BAU. Surrounded by profilers, Cole feels like buried treasure on an island swarming with pirates. Finding her seems to be a favourite past time of her new coworkers. It's fine. Not good, but fine.

Well, until genius with three PhDs (who even would bother getting three PhDs anyway when one is enough?) points out the errors in her code. Then, things start to fall apart.

CAST

Abigail Cowen as Colette Bouchard

Sierra McClain as Estelle Ouattara

George MacKay as Stéphane Bouchard

Josephine Langford as Caroline Bouchard

Henrik Holm as Sébastien Bouchard

The rest of the Criminal Minds cast as Themselves

PLAYLIST

One More Hour by Tame Impala

Whatever I've done
I did it for love

Washing Machine Heart by Mitski

I'm not wearing my usual lipstick
I thought maybe we could kiss tonight

Bloodline / Difficult Things by Orla Gartland

I always feel like the bad guy
'Cause I'm the one that upped and left

Spiracle by Flower Face

I want your quiet, your screaming and thrashing
The salt on your lips and the hands that God gave you

Sunlight by Hozier

Know that I would gladly be
The Icarus to your certainty

Notes:

1. This is going to contain series-appropriate aspects of sexual violence, homicide, violence, and all the stuff that pops up in Criminal Minds. It's not going to focus on super brutal stuff, but it will pop up, and it will pop up frequently enough that it's not going to be easy to have triggers in every chapter. Consider this the content warning. 

2. This begins during season two, shortly after Emily's arrival. It's going to keep going until I figure out where exactly I am supposed to stop, but it will at least breach containment into season four.

3. Please be patient with me. I've only watched the first few seasons of Criminal Minds, so I am trying my damnedest. As I'm writing, I'm continuing to binge the series, already partway through season four. This is a warning in case some things I say aren't accurate to the tv show, since some facts don't get brought up until later seasons.

4. A lot of this will have technical knowledge based on statistics and criminology. If things are confusing, that's okay! Let me know in the comments and I'll be sure to answer them as soon as I possibly can. Also, I'm not a statistician or a criminologist either. If I get things wrong, so does the show so I'll cope.

5. I can't wait for you to enjoy this book with me!