Dear Diary,

Pagod na ako.

Pero kahit pagod na ako, 'di ko alam kung saan pa ako humugot ng lakas na magreply kay Sam.

In the first place, I have no plans on replying but somehow, I found myself typing a reply. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sumanib sa katawan ko. But I just did, and I can't undo it.

Kung tatanungin mo 'ko, Diary. Oo, pinagsisihan kong magreply. I shouldn't have replied. Edi sana wala akong alam, edi sana hindi nadagdagan yung sakit, edi sana hindi  masyadong mabigat sa dibdib.

Edi sana wala akong alam.

Kaya minsan, mas gugustuhin kong wala akong alam keysa sa may nalalaman ako. Ignorance really is bliss.

"Yeah"

It was just a 4 lettered word yet it broke my heart into a million pieces.

Ganon-ganon na lang ba 'yon?

Ganon na lang kadali?

Ganon niya lang kadaling itapon ang sampung taong pagsasama para lang sa bago niya'ng nakilala.

Ganon ba ako kadaling kalimutan?

Isang salita ko lang ng "Mag-break na tayo." ay um-oo siya agad.

I was expecting him to beg. I was expecting him to reach out immediately, I was expecting him to admit all of his mistakes and tell me that he regretted all of it, and I was expecting him to cry and ask me to take him back.

Because if he did.

I would've said yes.

Willing akong magbulag-bulagan at ibaon ang nangyari sa limot para manatili siya. Willing akong patawarin siya. Willing akong mag-adjust para sa kaniya.

Then I realized, nahihibang na ako.

I can't believe how weak I've gotten after he left me behind.

He was my scource of strength, he was my sun, and without him, I'm just like a moon that lost its light.

Kaya niya rin siguro ako iniwan. Napansin niya rin siguro na masyado na akong dumedepende sa kaniya.

Napagod na rin siguro. Can't blame him though.

Well, I guess this is it for us. Our relationship is now, signing off.

Will remain tough,
Kryiella