Dear Diary,

Hi! I woked up again and wished I didnt. Yung feeling na pagmulat ko palang ng mga mata ko, bigla nalang akong nalungkot kasi buhay pa ako. Wala eh, kailangan na namang bumangon.

I don't know what I'm suppose to feel. Walang mabigat na pakiramdam ang nasa dibdib ko, walang rin'g masakit, parang wala lang. I felt a void.

Hindi ko pa nakausap sila Kandra, probably because I don't have the courage to do so. Hindi ko rin alam ang sasabihin. I avoided accessing my social media too, cause I know what I'll see.

My life went on again today. It felt like a routine— it is a routine. Ni-ready ko ang mga kapatid ko para makapasok sila sa school, aral, tapos trabaho.

Yung mga kapatid ko naman, hindi ko alam kung ano ang iniisip nila. Hindi ko rin alam kung may alam ba sila sa sitwasyon ko ngayon dahil normal naman ang inaasta nila. Hindi ko alam, maaaring may alam rin sila pero hindi lang nila pinapaalam sa akin.

Ang hirap, Diary.

Gusto ko nang sumuko.

Ang drama ng buhay ko oh.

Hindi parin nawala ang mga bulungan ng mga tao sa paligid ko. Medyo nasasanay na din ako, kailangan rin eh.

Pero kahit puno ng kamalasan ang nangyayari ngayon. There's this one event that made my heart warmed. 

I was asked to remove all the post-it notes on the bulletin board sa Wampiptea, ang cafe na pinagtatrabahuhan ko. And, there's this one note that stood out the most.

It was color white. It stood out in a way na ang note na 'yon lang ang color white. All of the notes were either pink, yellow-green, lavender, and yellow.

And the note, was for me.

I'm sure that it's for me, the content was so accurate about my life so walang kokontra na hindi yon para sa akin, kasi akin yon. Promise!

Uhm. . .

Pinaiyak ako ng note na 'yon. It touched my voided heart and soul, even though it wasn't written at its best grammatical form and in fact, it was jeje. His/her jokes are overused, and really? Sa lahat ng pangalan bakit Natoy?

Ang jejemon, pero aware rin siya na jejemon siya. Natatawa ako.

Pero kahit ganon. Napangiti ako ng note na 'yon. I felt something that I don't know. It's just— for the first time, I can't pick the right words to describe what I was feeling. It was indescribable.

But one thing for sure, for a moment, all this burdens are lifted and suddenly I had the strength to face this shitty life again.

I am thankful of his/her words to the point that I keeped the note. Para sa akin naman 'yon kaya okay lang, walang kokontra, akin yon.

I wanted to thank him/her. 'Di ko alam kung kung mababasa niya ba 'yon pero I wrote a note for him too.

Sikret ko na sayo yan, Diary. Di ko rin sasabihin kung ano nasa note niya. Sa akin na 'yon.

Ayon, my shift ended  with me delivering all the post-it notes at the office. Naabutan ko pa si Kiefron doon. Napansin niya pa ang mugto kong mata dahil sa letter pero di ko 'yon sinabi. I assured him that I was fine, but weird, napatulala siya sa note na binigay sa akin ni Natoy.

Bago ako umalis sa cafe, napatingin pa ako sa bulletin board. All the post-its are removed except one— my note for Natoy is the only one left. It looks weird. HAHAHA.

And that's how that event ended. Matutulog na ako Diary, Goodnight!

Very thankful sa jejemon,
Kryiella