"How do you feel today?" Her friend asked.

She coughed as her natural sarcastic side kicked into high gear. "How do I feel today? Like a semi-truck of elephants crashed into my head and the elephants are sneezing down my throat. A person with a fetish for causing pain has a fire poker and is jabbing my lower lungs, stomach, and appendix. Blood is spilling out of my you-know-what. I shouldn't be in class, but I can't miss any more information. All in all, I feel like schist, so this is Schist Day!"

"Well... schist."