They found Cyrdel sitting on a rock, overlooking a barren sand field.

After a few hours of tromping through the untouched forest beyond the Palace, Xanthy, Nyxis, and Ravalee came into a clearing. Was this Zalgend? Nyxis dipped his head. "Well, that is my cue," he gave them a mock bow before trotting further north, leaving Xanthy and Ravalee in the middle of a hazy wall of tree trunks guarding the border between the two cities.

Xanthy turned to Ravalee and nodded. Together, they went east, following to where the forest led them. Grass, bushes, and algae-infested boulders clumped together in bunches guided their walk from all knowable directions. Sweat beaded on Xanthy's forehead and soaked her front and back. Was it getting hotter?

Colorful birds, critters with beige fur and clicking claws, and the rustle of leaves were their only companions as they walked. A wind blew from the east. When it slapped Xanthy's face, she could swear she felt a few light scratches on her skin made by a number of strange particles that reminded her of the Disfavoreds' dusty roads.

Where were they heading, anyway?

Xanthy's breath was knocked off from her chest when a carpet of golden sand appeared through the thinning line of trees. Was that...?

Lanbridhr. Ravalee's voice tore once again into Xanthy's head. The Fire Sprite territory.

A lump formed in Xanthy's throat. She remembered the fire sprite she saw with the merchants passing through Cardina. She didn't want to come across one. Her attention was commanded by Ravalee when her half ran towards a part of the clearing that hosted more boulders than the other clumps they passed through. On the biggest and lowest one sat Cyrdel.

Xanthy watched Ravalee run parallel to the visible line dividing the green and the orange until her half came to Cyrdel's side. The prince had a long branch in his hands which he used to weakly prod the mix of clay and sand beneath their feet. He gazed at the desert, his face void of any expression.

Xanthy stayed where she was, the scratchy forest air shuffling her hair which she neglected not tying back. It's probably for the best that Xanthy had accompanied Ravalee here. This was the first time in weeks she had some quiet.

It made sense why Cyrdel would go here when he was upset. With the shifting cold winds from the forest alternating with the dry, scathing breeze from the desert, it's the perfect chaos to let one's thoughts rage with. Sometimes, at the eye of the chaos, that's where one would find peace.

Xanthy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, unwittingly inhaling some sand particles. Ugh. When light flooded back into her eyes as she opened them, her gaze landed on Ravalee and Cyrdel, signing with their hands and laughing together.

It was as if a thousand varichriais let themselves loose on her stomach. A curse filtered through Xanthy's lips. Why was Xanthy like this? Ever since she saw Cyrdel and Ravalee, her heart hasn't stopped wrenching with this kind of strange emotion that she couldn't quite explain. Xanthy didn't even have the right to feel whatever that was.

Xanthy should be happy for Ravalee, that somehow, a part of her had found happiness but she just couldn't bring herself to. She wasn't envious. Or was she?

How many times would she tell herself that lie? Xanthy sighed. The desert wind blew harder, making her face heat up more than necessary and her breath shallow. The sand stung her skin. It was really pathetic now that she thought about it. Let the desert blow more wind into her face to awaken her to the reality that Ravalee has had it better than her.

The half of her soul has found love, has a perfect life as a future Queen, has everything she needed handed to her on a silver platter, never had run for her life since the beginning, and was more beautiful in every way Xanthy wasn't.

It was the bitter truth that Xanthy had to swallow at the end of the day.

It's just so unfair.

They're literally halves of the same soul. How in the Queen's breeches Ravalee had it better? Why did Ravalee get the vanishing synnavaim to make the whole territory trust her enough to treat her as a Crown Princess? Why did Xanthy get the Virtakios that made the whole race treat her like a criminal?

Was Xanthy still a brownie in the first place or had the Virtakios burned like it did everything else in her life?

Xanthy sighed the second time. All fate did was play its cruel game.

It looks like Ravalee wouldn't go anywhere with Xanthy, too. Ravalee's happy with her perfect life in Alkara, reading and spending her days frolicking in the humid, Depandes air. But Xanthy? She's the one doing all the work finding their parents, braving unfamiliar roads just to do so. Ravalee didn't have an inkling of a care of what happened to their parents.

Xanthy shook her head. Who was she kidding? That's not true nor fair for the half of her soul. That's the bitterness speaking. Ravalee did ask Airene about their parents and Airene had the same reply to both of them.

Xanthy should get her feelings in order. She didn't hate Ravalee and the life her half has led. She really shouldn't.

She needed to get a lot of things back in order. Like how in Umazure would she answer June or if she should even consider it, in the first place. June had said that Xanthy helps people too much and that would someday hurt her and the people around her. Was he speaking from personal experience? What's wrong with wanting to help?

Wasn't that what building relationships was about? People would learn to care for each other and they couldn't do that without trust. Just like how Ravalee and Cyrdel were honest about everything, Xanthy should expect the same from June.

Xanthy bit her lip. June may have saved her ass a couple of times, may have made her laugh with his antics, and may have comforted her in more ways than she could remember but that didn't erase the fact that she didn't know anything about him.

That's why she can't "search" her heart for her answer. There's too much of the bottomless chasm between the two of them that Xanthy wasn't sure where she would end up if she ended up falling through it or if she chose to jump willingly.

Xanthy blew a hot breath. She should just ignore him. For both of their sakes.

"Miss Vivenca?" Cyrdel's voice rang in her ears. She turned to find Ravalee and the prince walking towards her, having forgotten the boulders.

Xanthy smiled at them as they approached. "Feeling better?" she asked Cyrdel.

Cyrdel took Ravalee's hand and returned Xanthy's smile. "Better than ever," he gave a small chuckle. "Ravalee convinced me that I should give the monarchy another chance."

Xanthy nodded. "You're a natural in Court," she said. The memory of how he defended them in front of the Court of Varis surfaced in her mind. She inclined her head at Cyrdel. "Maybe it will not be so bad."

Cyrdel sighed and tucked his hands into the side pockets of his coveralls. "I wish."

He toed the soil while swaying slightly. "It bothers me that I have to choose between inventing and running a territory. Being caught up with the choice between what I live for and the life destined for me, it's frustrating."

Xanthy put her hand on his shoulder. His eyes snapped up to meet hers. Xanthy had never seen a shade that matched the desert behind them perfectly. "We can't have everything. That's just life. Remember that you're not alone in this."

Xanthy let her hand drop as she jerked her chin towards Ravalee's direction. "I'll be cheering for you on the sides," she tucked her hair behind her ear. "You'll make a great king."

Cyrdel took her hand in his. Xanthy's eyes widened. Was this even allowed? "Thanks for coming out here with Ravalee," he said softly. "Thanks for those words, too. You have my deepest gratitude."

Xanthy extracted her hand from his before twining her fingers together. She forced her tongue to unlatch from the roof of her mouth. "That's what friends do, of course."

It only occurred to her that she had never had anyone appreciate her that way in all her life. A smile flashed across Ravalee's lips.

Why are you so red? Her half's voice sounded goofy in Xanthy's head.

"Shut up," Xanthy said even though the beginning of a smile was also creeping up to her lips. Soon, she and Ravalee were giggling.

The wind blew again. Xanthy froze as all amusement bled out of her veins. "Can you hear that?" she turned to her companions.

Confusion passed across Cyrdel's face. He craned his neck in an attempt to listen harder, his eyebrows knitted together. "What?"

Something rustled, its sound echoing from beyond the forest Xanthy and Ravalee had just come from. Except it wasn't a rustle. It didn't belong to the forest. Xanthy held her breath and listened further. The pitch was different, like a broken eleiros being played a thousand times its normal volume. The rustling turned to whistling. Bursts of loudness and silence in alternating intervals oscillated in her ears.

Xanthy's eyes widened as her breath hitched. It wasn't whistling. She walked further, the sound of Cyrdel and Ravalee's footsteps scratching the forest floor behind her. The differing loudness and silence had now split into tones. It wasn't an eleiros. There were thousands of voices. They weren't singing.

They were screaming.

Xanthy craned her neck to see smoke curling to the sky, beyond the trees' crowns. The smell of burning coal and oil, uncharacteristic of the forest just a few hours before, was now thick in Xanthy's nose.

What in Pidmena's name happened?

Xanthy glanced at her companions. Their pale faces indicated that they had their guesses. Whatever it was, it wasn't good.

With one mind, they nodded at each other and dashed to where they were supposed to be.