Pushing my emotions down into my core was easy at first... until I got to the coffee shop.

The second I pushed the door open, all I saw was mayhem. Not only was Brian already working and barking orders at Shawn, but Rianne was there, too. She sorted through pastries as Shawn hastily prepared fresh coffee. The shop was filled to capacity and still, another person opened the door behind me and pushed his way in line.

Why are there so many people?

"Kay! You're late!" Brian noticed me standing at the door and quickly waved his hand over his head.

I knew I was late and hadn't called him, but... would that be my greeting? Brian was always so cheerful. Normally, I'd get a "Hello," or "How's your morning, Kay?"

This time, he didn't smile or look at me directly. He punched in the next order, scribbled on a cup, and called out, "NEXT!"

I knew I was late. I don't know why I expected more. Silly, Kay.

Shawn looked up at me as I rounded the counter and tried to smile, but it didn't meet his eyes. "Welcome to summer, sweets," he said with a shrug. Right after, he brought his voice down to a whisper, "Brian's having a bad day. So, apron, up."

"Apron up." I slid my hand around the back door and went beside Rianne. "Got it."

No time to apologize or explain. Got it.

On a good day, time went by faster than a high-speed jet. Today, time wouldn't move. The second hand glued itself to the numbers on the clock the moment it landed. But one minute was actually an hour. And an hour was a million years.

Still, I put on my brave face and followed orders like a good employee.

Brian sported his signature smile when he could to the customers, which was great. It kept them happy and smiling. When there was a table available, they'd sit and chat, telling the other people who walked in just how lovely the coffee shop was.

It was when he turned around to look at us you saw the frustration etched on his face. His brow pulled together tight, he sucked in hard breaths. He'd slide one hand over his hair while instructing us with the other, all non-verbal commands. Who would have thought that three blinks and a finger wave meant to wash out the canister and replace the doughnuts?

Not me, that's for sure. At least, not until today.

And that was how it went—you know, through the million years of the day—until the clock finally read 9:00 P.M. By then, Rianne and I stood in the back, sorting through trays that'd been used throughout the day. Brian and Shawn stayed out front, dealing with the last few customers who had walked in. We were supposed to clean, organize, and prep as much as we could for Monday, and yet, despite the tired look on Rianne's face, I couldn't control my curiosity as I heard Brian's voice outside the door.

"Did he say what happened?" I asked her, placing the small, silver tray she'd handed me on the shelf in front of me.

The metal clanged together, almost blocking out her, "Hm?"

"Today," I continued, "did he say what happened today?"

"With what?" Rianne lifted her brows as she looked at me. "Brian?"

I nodded.

"Oh, honey, it's just a bad day." As she wiped her hands on her apron, I watched the smile lift her lips. But it wasn't natural and pretty, like normal Rianne. It was forced and fake and didn't look good on her.

"Oh." I pursed my lips and reached for another tray. "It's just weird, that's all. He's normally so cheery and happy. Today he's just—"

"Grumpy?" Rianne dipped her head to one side, and I couldn't help but smile and nod. "Well, everyone's allowed to have a bad day, right?" she said. "He should be allowed tons of them. He wears his mask so well, you just never know what he's thinking, you know."

She said it so easily, that I nearly dropped the tray I had grabbed.

Does he wear a mask? Brian? No... why?

I watched Rianne push one rack of trays behind another, then pulled another rolling shelf to adjust more. She took my tray from my hands, wiped it clean, and placed it in its spot without saying a word. 

I took the silence as an opportunity to ask my next question. "Do you know what happened to him before? Like... his past?"

She lifted just her eyes to look at me.

"I mean, was it bad? I see the scars on his face, but I sort of just summed it up to a hyper childhood. But, I can't help but think there's more?" I ended it with a question because I wanted her to fill in the blanks.

"Kay—" Again, her fake smile. "—if you don't know, then he hasn't told you. I don't go around telling people's business."

Uh oh. 

"No, no, I'm sorry." I raised my hands in defense. "I didn't mean to pry, it's just—"

The door opened and stopped me cold.

Brian stood in the doorway, wiping his hands on his red towel. His eyes looked from Rianne to me, then to Rianne again. Shooting her a small smile before placing his towel on his shoulder, he turned his chin towards the front of the shop. "Get going, Rianne."

"What?" Her eyes opened wide as she looked around the back room. Trays still weren't sorted. The sink still needed to be washed. There were three trash bags beside the back door that called out quietly to the dumpsters outside. It was last Saturday all over again, just... worse.

"We're not done," she said.

"You've been here since morning, I can't make you stay. I'll come in tomorrow and clean up whatever Kay and I can't do tonight."

Rianne placed a tray in its slot before huffing out a sigh. "Brian, it's too much. This is a busy season. I can stay, help, and I'm sure Shawn can—"

"Shawn went home ten minutes ago," Brian said with a smirk.

My mouth dropped, just as Rianne's did. It was crazy busy and yet Shawn left? He didn't even say bye...

"I told him I couldn't make him stay, either. He said he'd come in tomorrow to help me if I needed it. You—" He pointed at Rianne. "—you've got your big sister thing tomorrow. Get sleep."

Big sister? I looked at Rianne as her frustrated sigh shifted into a small smile.

"Brian, I—"

He shook his head and pointed behind him. "Out," he said with a laugh, "and I won't say it again."

Rianne had given up the fight. She tugged her apron off in one pull but hung it neatly on its spot on the wall. With her fingers, she undid her bun and ruffled her hair so it fell around her face. From my angle, she looked like a makeup commercial. Looking down at myself... well, I looked like the infomercial that'd play afterward.

"Okay, Boss," she said, softly. "Whatever you say."

"That's right." Brian winked at her, then looked at me. The pleasant tone slipped away just a bit. "Kay, just finish putting up the last rack right there, then come out front. Customers are just about done, so I'll need a good hand wiping down the tables."

I wanted to say, "Okay, Boss," too, but he didn't give me a chance. He'd already turned around and shut the door behind him, leaving Rianne and me with the echoing sound of the clicking lock.

Catching the look on my face, she sighed and touched my shoulder. "Just let it go, okay? One bad day doesn't change what you think of him. In fact—" She gave me a small shake. "—don't even ask him. What's in the past should stay there. He's a pretty good guy."

I felt warm in the cheeks when she went to the door, and when she turned to smile at me before leaving, I returned it. Only... my smile was just as fake as hers, and in my mind, I knew I wouldn't let it go.

|||

The next hour went by slower than the rest of the day. Earlier, it was because I tried to do so much in such little time. Now, it was because I cleaned in silence.

Brian spoke to the last couple who'd grabbed a cup of coffee before shutting the doors. But not to me. Even when he passed me by to bring down the blinds and close the windows, he didn't even shoot me a glance. This was different, so different, from the Brian who'd walk me home at night. That Brian smiled at me, laughed with me, and stood too close every chance he had.

This Brian... this Brian looked like he wanted to get the day over with, without me.

Inwardly, I sighed and reminded myself we were just friends, just like I told Jade. Just friends.

I cleaned the tables faster than normal and tucked away all the garbage in their appropriate bags. By the time I reached the counter to help wipe down the display cases, Brian had already done it. In fact, he'd done it all—mopped, swept, and sorted through the cash.

How he worked so fast, I didn't know. It all had to be experience-based and muscle memory. You know, things I couldn't do on my own.

Still, I needed to do something. Reaching for his red towel, I slid it over the counter to catch a single crumb he'd left behind. "So, first..." I didn't look at him as I spoke, "I wanted to apologize for being late. I know there's no excuse and I should've called, but... I'm sorry."

Gulping, I moved to wipe the corners around the register. "And... you know, it's okay if you don't want to walk me home tonight. Looks like you're having a rough day, too—nothing awkward or anything. But I think it's all right if I get home on my own. I mean, I've got money in my account now, I'll call an taxi—"

When I looked up, I caught sight of Brian just as he turned around to look at me. But, the moment he did, his eyes widened as I swiped my hand left, then right, with his towel, still cleaning. It was as though I'd grabbed a ball of fire and was in danger because of how fast he came at me to grab it.

His hand covered mine, fingers pressing between mine. And I stopped moving. I stopped breathing, thinking, as I looked into his eyes.

"Brian?"

We stayed that way, slightly leaning over the counter with my hand under his. Both of us gripped the red towel as though we'd lose it. It took me a second to realize it was the towel I shouldn't have touched, and after it hit me... no one touched his towel.

I did touch fire.

"I'm sorry." I swallowed my nerves as I tried to pull my hand away, letting go of the towel as best as I could, but Brian didn't let go. Two good pulls did nothing, because he held me now, not the towel. His fingers looped around and closed, pressing gently into my palm. His thumb moved slowly over the top of my hand. He came just an inch closer, than another, until he stood straight and finally, let go.

I let my hand stay there for a second, feeling the warmth and burn travel up my arm. Even though he had stepped back, it seemed like he didn't want to. It was in his movements; the way he slid his hand away, the way he took in his breath.

The towel wasn't on fire, no. Was I the fire? Had he been burned?

"B-Brian, I—"

"No, I'm sorry, Kay." Finally, Brian lifted his lip and revealed that dimple I hadn't seen all day. "You shouldn't have seen me like that today."

"No, no, it's okay." I stood straight and pulled at the bottom of my apron, catching the loose string that came undone from the trim. "Everyone's allowed a bad day here and there. I mean... I had one and again, I'm sorry I was late, I just—"

Brian chuckled and slid his hand over his hair. "Kay, you've had, what, one?"

Well, I've actually had a lot of them, but you know...

"But, me? Kay, I've had too many of them. You'd think I'd be over it by now..."

He let his voice trail off into a whisper that ended before it should've. With the sentence incomplete and still sitting in the air between us, I needed him to finish it. I wasn't good with tension and had zero patience. I didn't like surprises either.

I opened my mouth to ask why, but it was like he knew I needed him to say it. He leaned forward and grabbed his towel, and before he spoke, he draped it over his shoulder. "Life's hard when you have people reminding you, every chance they can get, that you'll never be anything other than what you were."

Blinking fast, I watched him shut down the power to the stereo and registers, bringing just a dim hue of light above us. What he said hit me, because it was me; it was all I knew in my life. No one wanted me to take chances, because, in their eyes, I was never anything else, nor could I be anything better.

Back home, I'm sure everyone still asked, "Hey, where's Kay? You know, Mario's girl?"

"Every day I work hard to build myself up. I do a pretty good job, I think. Just—" He leaned against the counter, almost defeated. "—it just takes one day, just one fucking day, and I've lost sight of it all."

Consoling was never my thing. I blamed it on the lack of kindness I should've received growing up, but seeing him that way, I had to do something. The way he breathed, pressed his forehead against the cool, wooden counter, it looked like it pained him to just be alive.

I'd never seen so much hurt in one person, especially in someone who smiled brighter than the sun itself.

"Hey." I took the chance and moved toward him. Gently, I placed my hand on his back and felt the vibration of his heart's hard beats; felt the tremor of his body reacting to my touch. He turned just his face to look at me and stared into my eyes. 

For the first time, the light I saw in them was different. It was bright, like always, but with a different shade. Normally his light was filled with honeysuckles and rainbows leftover from a rainy day. This light was hot and red, with an anxious need I'd only ever read about in books.

I let my hand fist his shirt slightly. "It's okay," I whispered to him.

"Kay." He half stood up and moved his hand to take mine off his back. "I need to..."

I expected him to let me go, but he didn't. His hand wrapped around mine as he turned and faced me fully. His thumb, like before, gently caressed my skin. I looked at the way his fingers were against mine, the size difference between his hand and my hand. Suddenly, I felt so small, but in a good way. I could see us, just like this, standing on a cliff against the setting sun, because I was the tiny Princess just saved from the dragon by the stunning Prince; the same prince who sported his war scars on his neck and chin with pride.

Could I touch him? My fingers twitched.

"You need to what?" I asked, leaning in, wanting him to finish his question. My lips parted slightly.

He didn't finish. Instead, he smiled, chuckled under his breath, and asked, "Are you hungry?"

Oh. I was excepting a, well, you know, a kiss... God, Kay.

"There's this diner, not too far from that park. They've got the best burgers. Shakes, too. Think I can make today up to you by buying you a little grub?" Brian rubbed his neck. "Then, maybe you can tell me why you were late. We can both laugh about our shitty day. How's that?"

I mean, I am hungry, I just... 

"Um... sure" I pulled my hand from his and wiped my face because I knew there wasn't a name for the shade of red I was. "I can eat."

"Perfect," he said and pulled off his apron. "Just get your stuff from the back. I'll be right here so we can lock up the shop. Cool?"

"Cool," I repeated and with slow, backward steps, walked back into the back room and shut the door behind me.